David was asleep. He knew this as he walked down a seemingly endless hallway. He didn't remember when he had gone to sleep, but surely he was now. In the dream he was entirely human again, walking along on shoe-clad feet.
"Bravo," said a familiar voice. The door to the left of David swung open and an eye filled most of the frame, "You've really made a nice little fantasy for yourself," came the clearer voice of John De Lancie, er, Discord. With a flash, David was seated at a table with Discord across from him, "I do hope you've enjoyed all the effort I've put into all this."
"Into all what?" asked David, not liking the direction this was heading at all. "I didn't know you dream hopped like Luna."
Discord waved a claw lightly, "Oh pish posh, I can if I want to. But we're not here about me, we're here about..." He thrust a leonine finger at David, "You. You've been fairly tame about your exploits compared to many. You haven't made a move on the 'Mane Six'" He said the quotes with actual quote movements with his fingers, "Nothing's exploded violently, and there hasn't been a single spontaneous invasion from another universe, yourself excluded. You haven't even used your gift yet."
"Yea, but that's not my call, right?" asked David with a raised brow, "Why are we here?"
"Why indeed," said Discord, steepling his fingers. "Let me put this a simpler way. How did you get here?"
"Heck if I know," said David, shrugging. "I went for a walk, then a dark place with words."
"Did you look behind you?" asked Discord.
"Behind me?"
"You always do, at least usually," said Discord. "It's adorable. You scurry across a road, and quickly check to make sure you didn't leave a body behind, to see that you didn't die and fail to realize it. Did you look behind yourself?"
A chill grip began to run through David as he thought back to before he came to Equestria, "Uh... I... don't remember."
"You didn't," said Discord bluntly, "Just as well. You would have spent all that time in the void screaming and sobbing instead of answering my questions."
"So, what, I died?" asked David, "Or is this all a crazy coma dream?"
Discord wobbled a hand, "It could be either. Do you like it? You're already putting a family together for yourself, but you lack conviction, boy." With a snap of his fingers, David became a half-pony, "Look at you. Do you want to be human, or pony? The world already has one hybrid, we don't need new ones."
David was on his hooves in a quick motion, chair crashing to the ground, "I didn't ask for this, it just happened! Besides, you're already not the only hybrid. I've seen plenty in the show."
Discord waved off the argument, "Yes yes, my point still stands. Are you happy?"
David let out a slow breath, "Mostly? I... have a good friend." Rough Draft appeared on one of the blank walls, walking along in a repeating motion. "Lyra and Bon Bon are cool, but I'm still getting to know them." The two mares appeared side by side on another wall, leaning on each other.
Discord leaned forward, "I'm honestly surprised. Considering your... background, I thought you might just act in a most ungentlecoltly fashion with the mares, all of them. You've had no less than two imply as subtly as a thrown bag of bricks that they wanted your attention, but still you hold back. Why is that, my boy?"
David looked like he was about to reply when Discord put a finger to his lips, "Yes yes, I know this story's rating, but really. Give me a reason."
"I'm scared, OK?" admitted David. "I've never been intimate with a girl, let alone a mare. I'm still hoping it all works about the same."
Discord shrugs, "Tab A, Slot B. You and me, nothing but mammals."
"Pretty sure you're part dragon," countered David.
Discord gave a soft pfft, "Technicalities. So you're calm in the face of a changeling working up the nerve to kill you, calm when your humanity is ripped away from you without so much as a 'please', but kissy time, that's where you draw the line?" Suddenly Discord was behind David, hands on his shoulders, "You're a curious creature."
"I don't mean to be rude," said David, "I mean, you're a cool character and all, but am I dead or not?"
"Does it matter what you are on Earth?" countered Discord. "You're not there, you're here. You chose to be here."
"I'm curious," said David, "I mean... is this all fake?"
"Does it feel fake?" asked Discord, "If you do what you fantasize doing with Lyra, will there be consequences? Of course there will be. Does this make you a bad person?" He leaned in, "A little, maybe? Depends who you ask. Well! You're asking me. I don't see anything wrong with it. I already gave my heart to a pegasus, even if she wouldn't know romance if it bit her on her adorable little rump. These ponies are very good at drawing out your emotions, usually positive. If they want your love, they'll figure out how to get it." His brows knit lightly, "A little manipulative of them, but they mean well."
He stretched then, "Well, our time's about up. Luna's noticed me. Any last questions?"
"Will it last forever?" asked David.
"Try to look both ways before crossing streets," said Discord in way of answer, then he was gone, replaced by the Princess of the Night. Luna looked left and right, then at David.
"We meet again," she said, "This dream reeks of chaotic thoughts, and yet it is more stable than ever I have seen your dreams. Are you lucid?"
"Yea," replied David, picking up the fallen chair and settling on it, "Luna, I have a question."
"If it is within my power, I will answer it," said Luna, approaching on delicate hooves, then pausing. Having just noticed David's half pony state, she raised a brow, "What has happened to you, to give you those? Are you involved in more illegal activities?"
"Twilight already took care of it," David said with a dismissive gesture, "But I am half pony now."
Luna leaned in a little, "I see you are without talent. Does your question relate to it?"
David shook his head quickly, "That'll happen when it happens. I don't need to Cutie Mark Crusader this up. Tell me, are there any laws about me being involved in a herd?"
"A herd?" asked Luna, "Those are rare. Was it your idea, or did somepony ask it of you?"
"Rare?" asked David as his brows rose together, "Lyra made it sound common enough."
Luna shook her head, "In old times, perhaps, before I was banished. In these days, most ponies prefer one to one, but to answer your question, it is not illegal to have cross-racial marriages." she raised a hoof to point at David's lower half, "You are pony where it counts, for this matter of thing."
David flushed gently, "Uh, can you tell if it works?"
Luna raised a brow sharply, "That is most inappropriate. Surely you do not need my help to know if it works."
David waved a hand quickly, "Not like that! I mean, can I put a foal in Lyra? I mean, if we went down that road."
Luna nodded softly, "I think you could, but there is only so much that can be determined through a dream. I must go, there are other dreams to patrol. Be harmonious, human David Silver, and don't forget I still wait for your application for citizenship. You cannot start a herd without it."
Then she was gone, and the dream with it.
David jerked awake. He was in a hotel room, but a different one. Rough Draft and Ink Splot were seated side by side while Ink Splot worked laboriously on something that faced away from David. "Stay right there," said Ink Splot, "Almost finished." The earth pony worked diligently with his brush and paints while David settled back down and waited for it to finish.
Memories began to return. He had come up with Rough Draft to be drawn and fell asleep during the process. He was awful about staying awake while sitting and doing nothing. This didn't help very much while in school. David's attention was brought back when the painting was revealed, showing the slumbering half pony in vivid detail.
Rough Draft giggled, "It looks just like you."
David snorted gently, "It does. You're a very talented artist." He reached and gave Ink Splot a soft mane rubbing, to the pony's surprise.
"I told you he does that," said Rough, shaking his head.
Ink Splot smiled, "Harmless compared to some of the other habits I've gotten out of non-pony clients. Well it's getting late, you two should probably get some sleep. I know I need some."
Farewells were exchanged and soon they were out in the hallway, moving back towards the elevators. "Is he an old friend?" asked David.
"Oh yea," said Rough Draft, "We don't hang out a lot, but us earth pony artists have to stick together. I see him at about half the conventions I go to. He'll probably get a pretty bit for that drawing he made of you."
That didn't bother David, so he didn't say much, instead thinking about the dream that was still fresh in his memory. "Say, uh Rough, how accurate are dreams in Equestria."
Rough raised an ear, "Depends. If Luna shows up, it's about as true as it ever could be. Why?"
"No reason," lied David, worrying his mental teeth over what he had learned.
you know, you should read this - Not The Hero -
5656486 Glancing at its description, I can see the ties, but it feels wrong to start reading that now. My mind has enough other literature to be corrupted by and I wouldn't want my non-plans to be ruined! Let the narrative go where it wants to. Discord showing up was something that only occurred to me last night as a thing that had to happen.
Why did you wrote something so boring and cliché like that? (You're a curious creature...) there is nothing 'curious' on David for Discord except maybe his dreams (I would have done and said the same things he did ... for the most part), and Why write the word "creature"? You do not see David call him that (and he is a chimera that he has meet face to face).
Humans are not so special for Equestria standards (perhaps the 'do magic' is a thing). Call him 'creature' (since you wrote that, and he say that had meet other people) over other human beings, made him look like something "special" like a piece of chicken on top of a mountain of red meat, they come from two different animals but they are always meat (maybe I missed something, and I'm rambling)
you could simply write
I'm not saying that since David did nothing but be normal the story isn't interesting or Discord should't be interested on him (since David can...probably alter things in reality like others before him did, Discord say that and its good for him to check David doesn't go ballistic or something.)
Just... don't use those phrases ... it hurt, it is so clicè that hurt. if you mean something for Discord on that phrase , then what is it?
5656583 I'm having a hard time picking apart your question. The formatting is bleeding. Please fix and I'll be happy to reply!
5656583 I'm still not sure I entirely grok what you're going for. David/I is/am a painfully repressed individual that tends to just kinda roll with the blows and keep going, since complaining about anything rarely gets things gone, and other people are so much better at complaining, and everyone gets annoyed when you complain anyway, so why bother?
If you're asking? I think? Why use the word creature? It came into my head while I typed it, and I typed it. I tend to let my fingers do the thinking for me in the middle of dialogue. If I have to stop to think about it, I know I've lost the flow of the scene and back up a bit to find it again.
5656630 i didn't meant to be rude, sorry.
5656583
If the "You're a curious creature" line is as cliché you say it is, it fits in well with what Discord is doing here. Almost the entire scene is Discord is trolling David while making fun of human in Equestria stories. Discord implies three very common clichés for human in Equestria stories including:
1. It's all in your head/guy in a coma cliché.
2. You died and now you are in Equestria.
3. Discord did it.
Discord also mentions other clichés like hooking up with the mane 6, humans having some weird special powers, and the occasional alien invasion with explosions. I can't say for sure that it was all intentional, but it fits.
As for how Discord knows all this stuff, I'm running with the assumption that Discord learned about the MLP fandom and HiE stories by reading David's mind.
5657241 You haven't offended me.
It takes a lot more than that to get under my skin, I just got confused.
5657477 I can imagine , Discord mocks our "creativity". Yep that's him
hum a vary interesting talk with discord I am going to have to think about this a bit.
a good story that is growing to a super story.
keep up the good work.
Harts Fire
5658995 Thanks for staying on the ride! What does it all mean? Even I don't entirely know.
Bon Bon is right to try to slow Lyra down. The problem with David (insofar as this fic goes; this is meant to be a critique of the character, not the author) isn't that he doesn't show his anger - that's just a symptom of what I think is the deeper issue.
The problem with David is that he's desperate.
Being a thirty-something male with no experience with females, in my opinion, puts you in a state of "quiet desperation" - it's that silent fear that you're going to be alone forever, so any female that shows interest in you is something that absolutely must be carefully cultivated, taking no action that could possibly upset her or drive her away. Of course he's not getting angry at her; when you're thrown a life-preserver while drowning in an ocean of loneliness, you absolutely don't want to tick off the one who threw it. (Which is itself a damning indictment of that person on your part - do you really trust them if you think that they'll abandon you if you get mad at them?)
This, of course, is a problem, because it's easy to mistake desperation for love: they're both blind. When you're desperately lonely, anyone (or rather, anypony) will do. That means that the individual qualities that make them special - the things that make them special as an individual - aren't being valued; who they are doesn't matter, so long as they're there at all.
Needless to say, that's poison for a successful long-term relationship. That's because when someone finally relaxes and stops being quite so lonely, they realize that they don't even really know the person they're now in a relationship with. Even worse is the possibility that they get to know them only to discover that they don't have anything in common (or don't even like each other), by which time separating may not be easily done (e.g. children, shared finances, etc.).
David isn't pushing Lyra into a relationship, nor is he turning down her advances, because his internal mantra is likely along the lines of "she likes me, ergo, don't rock the boat, lest she stop." His character arc in this fic - in my opinion - is going to be getting to a place where he stops feeling desperate for female companionship, and instead feels comfortable enough to start appreciating Lyra for who she is, rather than just for being a female that likes him.
5661174 That was an unexpected burst of very poignant words. Bravo to you, sir, bravo.
Pretty sure he died and went to.... Equestria!
6059665 There are worse places to go.
IDK why but the half pony half human thing is bothering me a lot.
5661174
And are you speaking from experience, or from your ass?
6235049 Touched a nerve there, did I?
Your statement just sounded an awful lot like virgin-shaming is all, and that's just as bad as slut-shaming (or maybe worse). You essentially just said 'Any male virgin over the age of thirty becomes desperate and unable to act rationally around women.' That's an incredibly insulting statement.
You're autistic, right? Given that, I could believe you weren't trying to be insulting... if you hadn't come back with such a dick response.
6237096
The operative part of this statement is "sounded [...] like." That is, that's what you thought I was saying. That doesn't mean that's what I was saying (since it wasn't).
Except that's not what I said. At all.
Er, what?
My response was entirely in keeping with the tone of your comment. If you don't want dick responses, don't act like a dick.
6238272
I guess my opening question had a bit more snark than it should have, and I should have known better than that.
I still don't see how you could expect that statement to be taken any other way, but if you insist you weren't trying to be insulting, that's good enough for me.
Well, I think that fairly succinctly answers my question from a chapter or three back.
we're here about…"
I'm sure gryphons, sirens, minotaurs, and Tirek would be interested to hear that they don't exist.
Or, if we're feeling cheeky, "alicorns".
ungentlecoltly fashion
because someone asked the author!
I see Discord is a step ahead of me (as he should be) with these notions…and Luna.
needs a closing quote
Comment 666, ha.
Yes. Typos are assholes. They show up just to be assholes. They are always the-
*door gets blasted and lasers are heard activating*
TYPO SQUAD DELTA HOTEL XRAY HAS CAPTURED THE TARGET. PROCEEDING WITH CONVERSION.
Noooooo!
Run Silver! Run for your mistyping life!
'Mane Six'
questions
Princess of the Night.
7126522 Typos fixed!
7449388 Read on!
So you're calm in the face of a changeling working up the nerve to kill you, calm when your humanity is ripped away from you without so much as a 'please', but kissy time, that's where you draw the line?"
I see no reason to question these priorities. The first two scenarios affect only yourself, and so are less important than the third scenario, which affects others as well as yourself, and possibly future generations as well. Sex should reasonably be far more frightening than mere death.
5661174
I know exactly what you're talking about, and dread falling prey to that very scenario.
7598119
Exactly.
Still, as powerful and old as Discord is, he's usually terrible at relationships in general (in the show, at least). And if he has the rest of humanity as an example, it doesn't exactly set a good one.
The Bad Touch, from Bloodhound Gang, I take it?