• Member Since 30th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 13th, 2013

Shadowbane


Comments ( 153 )

Well, I think this story is A-Okay.:pinkiehappy: I really do like the ending, it had me laugh :rainbowlaugh: but also "Awwwwww...":rainbowkiss: but still. I do hope that you continue your wonderful work that is this story! One thing to say though, I think that you really need to start a new paragraph every time someone talks. It makes you story look kinda longer, but more organized. That is all, I shall see you when you write the next chapter!

This looks good, giving this a track and thumbs up for motivation. Ill try to drop by a more in depth thought on this later on.

This is going to be good. :pinkiehappy:

580189
I'll take the alternate organization into consideration!
580199
Sounds good, bro!
580200
I hope it is :twilightblush:

How in intriguing, liked and tracked. :twilightsmile:

580217 No matter what though, I shall still read. It just (physically) hurts my eyes to read it like that:fluttercry:, and it's easier if it's spread around more. :twilightsheepish: Plus, it will take just a bit longer to read. Which is good. I cannot wait to see how this plays out.:rainbowdetermined2:

Short and sweet I like it. Bit of an abubt homo no mo moment, but meh it seems good so far

580303
Yeah, but everyone pairs Vinyl with Octavia. I felt the need to address that in some way. :twilightsheepish:

580231
But wait, wait, wait, you said EVERY TIME someone talks, didn't you?
What if they're talking one after the other?
'"hi lol" said Anon. "whats up lol" replied Faggot' would be:
'"hi lol" said Anon.

"whats up lol" replied Faggot.'?

580533 yes, it would be like:
'"hi lol" said Anon.

"whats up lol" replied Faggot.'?
It's just the english grammar system. Not my fault.:pinkiehappy:

581930
Man, that's annoying-sounding in my head :fluttercry:
But whatevs, yo, if everyone else does that.

582082 yea, they do.:fluttercry: YOU don't have to though, it would just be more helpful to the reader. But, I can undertand if you don't want to.:pinkiehappy:

582115
I'll try it out at first, I suppose.

Nice chapter. A tad short though. But, I digress. It is still wonderful in detail! I like it!:pinkiecrazy:

582875
Yeah, I was going for short, this time ~
Just to get the feel of MY version of Vinyl Scratch, anyway.

582890 I get it. This was a short chapter for you to show how your Vinyl's personality is. Totally makes sense.:derpytongue2:

Can Muxix have more please?

583231
Sooner or later. Once I can lift my fat lazy arse off of my chair for a few seconds. :pinkiesmile:

Nitpick time: It's ecstasy, not ecstacy.:moustache::trollestia:

584197
Argh. ONE letter.
Fixed.
But damn.
That is SOME nitpicking, bro.
:trixieshiftright:

Loving the story bro can't see why anyone one would have disliked it but meh... You can't please them all. Keep writing I'm enjoying it.

590972
Been workin' on it since yesterday ~

A very clever use of small chapters...Now I want to know what happens next without even using a cliff hanger.:pinkiegasp:

600146
Yeah, I made this chapter as sort of an.. interconnecting piece with Chapter 1, as you probably noticed ~
Thanks for the feedback!

600162
I like where you are going with story, the pacing feels right. This is something that I find to be a problem for several writers, including myself. So keep writing my friend!

600178
Will do! :rainbowwild:
But pacing? That's mostly me being a troll, honestly.
andlazy

600201
Either way, I like the pacing. It keeps me focused instead of droning on and on trying to finish a story that describes every single detail in the room.

600216
I understand - I hate the kind of stories that do that.
I.. actually didn't even expect to get positivity on this site :twilightblush:
Since. My work hasn't really been noticed elsewhere.

600232
You will also find that I am a very positive person who likes to give constructive criticism and give positive feed back for what is being done right.

600278
Though, constructive criticism isn't always positive!
You don't want to turn me into a belated pig ~ :ajsmug:

600295
True enough. But you haven't given me enough material to start breaking patterns, motifs, word choice, pacing, or anything else I critique to start saying HEY! you need to seriously need to focus on this and that.

I see one problem- Vinyl Scratch is a unicorn, not a pegasus.

Other than that, great story.

604155
Oh shit, I'm an idiot. :derpyderp2:
I can't believe I typed that..!
Thanks for the save, dude!
I haven't had much sleep :'D

cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/20527478.jpg

(Sorry, couldn't find image that fit description, maybe I'll make one) :fluttercry:

I always figured Big Mac would be a bass head.

Chapters are a bit small, but besides that, can't wait to see were this story is going!

604464
He'd be a great bouncer, at the very least :'D
Bigger than.. a lot of the other ponies, actually!

Wait are we (the reader) seeing this as a human or a pony?

604155 you can get a 1 day ban for saying first/second etc

606415
It's one of the tags - Human.

606955
My bad I should have read the tags

"red is so much damn better."

Damn straight.

And if anyone says otherwise...

607945
Precisely.
...
*slides that video into a playlist for future reference*

Cliffhanger.... i like that keep up the good work!:pinkiehappy:

620119
I cliffhang and cliffhang until I can cliffhang no more!
Call me.. :trixieshiftleft: the Boss of Cliffhanging.
:trixieshiftright:

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