The Beginning
Twinkleshine / Meep
“Are you sure you can do this?” Cole asked me, her voice filled with concern.
I nodded hesitantly. In the three days since the wedding the EUP as well as they royal guard had begun their witch hunt. They would be in Ponyville tomorrow. Twilight had only just got back from Canterlot this morning. Today would be my only shot. Ready or not, this was it.
“As much as I will be. Remember if I have to run, two weeks, earth pony, blue coat, gray mane.” I said to remind Cole once again of my backup identity.
She nodded then leaned forewords and gave me a short kiss. “Be safe.”
I closed my eyes and did my best to remember my last life. The form was easy, a slightly short, slightly chubby germane unicorn stallion with brown fur and short cut strait black mane and tail. A cutiemark of a rocket orbiting a star, leaf green eyes, and a simple lightly accented calm voice.
“Cigar please.” I asked, holding a hoof out to Cole for the last piece of von Brawn's identity.
“Do you have to smoke?” She asked in a disappointed tone as she passed me a single cigar I had purchased for the occasion.
“Meine frau, I assure you that I would be declared an impostor without some form of tobacco.” I gave her a smile, “I won't light it in your presence. It would take quite some time to remove the smell.”
Cole nodded and gave me one last hesitant kiss. I could tell that me being a male bothered her. With a loving smile I walked to the door, opened it, bit down on my cigar, lit it with my magic and began my walk to the library.
As I trotted downtown, the noon sun hanging overhead I noticed Pinkie Pie coming out of the library. I had hoped to avoid her, I could not afford a delay in the form of one of her welcome to town parties. A few seconds later she noticed me, tilted her head as she tried to recognize me, and was just about to excitedly pounce at the chance to celebrate when I flashed her a happy smile.
“Guten taug frau Pinkie! I will be most happy to celebrate with you later this day, but right now I have pressing business with Twilight Sparkle.”
I was a bit out of practice at holding a cigar in my mouth while speaking. The bobbing and rolling motion of the bundled tobacco must have looked quite funny as Pinkie giggled, “I already welcomed you to Ponyville a whole year and a half ago silly! Nice to see you today though!”
I was almost surprised she recognized me as she skipped off in the direction of Sugar Cube Corner. But after all, this was Pinkie. Any mare who could have her tail twitch and step out of the way of a falling safe was bound to be at least a little psychic.
As I pushed open the library doors I found myself face to face with the three terrors of Ponyville. Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Bell, the Cutie Mark Crusaders seated at the library's table around a few books. From the looks of things they were up to something. Hopefully it would only be something as simple as street luge this time around.
“But that's way too small! Space is really high so we will need a way bigger catapult.” Scootaloo said loudly.
“Catapult?” I asked incredulously, insulted and offended at the very notion of reaching orbital velocities with a mere torsion device. “Nien! What do you kinder think you are doing?”
The three fillies jumped in surprise at my outburst. Turning quickly to see who it was and not recognizing me as someone from Ponyville the three looked just a bit afraid.
“S-sorry mister. We were just playing.” Sweetie Bell squeaked.
I rolled my eyes and took two books from the shelf with my magic. South copies of ones I had written. Scootaloo noticed one of the covers and gasped, pointing at me with a hoof, “Oh my gosh it's the cover guy!”
I smiled at her exclamation, “What are schools teaching young fillies these days? A simple catapult dose not have the force required to impart enough delta vee to get a pony into orbit. What were you thinking? After all should you get into orbit, you would eventually like to return to Equis yes?”
Applebloom nodded slowly, “Um, yeah.”
I nodded, “Wunderschöne!”
“What?” The three asked together.
I rolled my eyes and took the cigar from my mouth with a hoof. “Have you never met somepony from Germany? I said 'wonderful'. Why? Because clearly you three require a lesson in space flight, and I am looking to demonstrate my knowledge on the subject. Sit down, take out a pencil and paper, and prepare to learn the basics of rocket science.”
~~
Twilight Sparkle
This week had most certainly not gone at all as planned. My brother got married and the first I heard about it was the wedding invitation, all of my friends thought I was crazy, I was thrown into a dungeon by an evil monarch, and then failed to save Canterlot from her army. Fortunately Shining Armor and Cadence were able to save the day. Celestia only knows what would have happened to the kingdom if they failed too.
Needless to say I was not in the best of moods. All I wanted to do was get back to Ponyville and my nice normal routine. Of course there was plenty of organizing to do first, I hadn't been home in a whole week so everything was out of order. I was so focused on my house keeping that I didn't smell the pungent, herbal sent of somepony smoking until it was thick enough to fill the whole library.
With an irritated growl I turned and marched down the stairs. The moment I was within sight of the public section of the library I announced angrily, “This is a smoke free area. I am going to have to ask you put out your-”
Then I noticed the smoker. He was a short, slightly fat, brown furred unicorn, with a very characteristic black mane cut. My eyes locked onto his cutiemark a silver rocket flying around a yellow star upwards at a forty-five degree angle. The cigar was clenched between his teal in the left corner of his mouth. There was no denying who this pony was.
“-cigar?” I finished my brain shifting without a clutch.
This was impossible! The pony was an exact copy of Brainy von Brawn, down to the hoof gestures as he lectured. I had attended a lecture of his once with my dad when I was five. This was impossible, he had been in the last years of his life back then. But here he was, easily in his late forties. Strutting back and forth in front of three fillies and delivering a lecture like only he could.
“... and then when the first stage fuel tank has emptied entirely it is ejected to decrease the total mass of the rocket, allowing the second stage's smaller engines to lift the remaining portion of the rocket and additionally allowing the rocket to accelerate faster than it would if the first stage carried it the remainder of the way to the edge of the atmosphere.”
He paused and looked up the stairs, “Fraulein, I will take questions at the end of my lec- Oh! Yes, Ms Sparkle, just the mare I was looking to see. I am sorry kinder, but we will have to finish this lesson another time. Ms Colgate Aquafresh knows where I can be found.”
“Awwwww!” the girls moaned in unison getting up to leave.
“Wait!” Scootaloo cried, “What was the fuel mix again?”
Von Brawn smiled and shook his head, “Write things down next time. It is five parts liquid oxygen to four parts liquid hydrogen.”
“Thanks! Come on girls we'll get astronaut cutie marks for sure now!” Scootaloo shouted excitedly before the three ran out the door.
I couldn't speak. I was simply stunned. The greatest astrophysicist and aerospace engineer of the last century was in my library. He turned and gave me a small smile, “I know what you are thinking. I assure you they will be safe. Not even the Cutie Mark Crusaders are resourceful enough to acquire several billion bits of steel and chemical flues.” he chuckled.
My confusion reached critical mass. As quickly as I could I trotted down the stairs to von Brawn, reached out with my right hoof and gently pushed against his let shoulder. I didn't pass through him, and he felt like a living pony, so if he was an illusion, he was a very good one. He couldn't have been a figment of my imagination because Scootaloo had sen him too. Unless Scootaloo was also a figment of my imagination.
“But you are in your forties!” I exclaimed, “You died at one-hundred and thirty-three! I remember your funeral. That's not scientifically possible, you're not scientifically possible!”
He took along drag on his cigar, “The rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. In part by me. Go ahead and ask me anything you believe will confirm my identity.”
He wanted me to confirm his identity? That made no sense, unless he needed someone to prove he was who he claimed to be. But the von Brawn could easily have walked into the Royal Academy of the Sciences and been confirmed every way to Sunday. This had to be a changeling attempting to work there way around the guard's search!
A very arrogant and foolish changeling, who thought I would be easy to fool and had probably read a single autobiography. One changeling wasn't a threat to me. I could have a little fun with it before knocking him or her unconscious and dragging it to the guard myself.
I narrowed my eyes aggressively, “What was your first thesis paper after joining Division Seven of the RAS?”
The changeling chuckled, “I had already obtained three doctorates before I joined Division FOUR, why would I have written another thesis? Your trick question was sehr gutt.”
I hadn't expected him to know that one. I pursed my lips as I thought of another question. “Your last lecture at Trottingham University was on what topic?”
“It was a summery of orbital mechanics, theoretical uses for space, und I briefly touched on the possibility of faster than light travel utilizing an artificial flight field modeled after pegasus magic.”
This was going to be tricky. I don't know where this changeling got his information from but it was a very good source. I continued to ask question after question for a full hour. Each and every one the Changeling managed to have a correct answer for. Half way thought my questions I cast a spell to make sure that he wasn't reading my mind to find the answers. The fact he wasn't infuriated me.
There was only one thing I could do. “Ugh, ok you may know everything about his academic career but there is no way you are as good as science as he was! The integral sec y dy from zero to one-sixth of pi is log to base e of the square root of three times the sixty-fourth power of what?”
He threw his head back and laughed, levitating the remains of his cigar onto a desk before turning back to me. “Fraulein, do you intend to quiz me on astrodynamics?”
I nodded triumphantly, I had him! “Yes, yes I do.”
He rolled his eyes, “Of all the scientific minds in history Book Horse chooses to go up against me? Well, at least you are picking on a brain you own size. By the way the answer to your little question is the square root of negative one.”
My ears stood up in a mixture of surprise, alarm, and anger. There was no way he could have known that! That wasn't even von Brawn's work. “That wasn't even his work! There is no way a random changeling could have known that!” I stamped a hoof angrily against the floor.
The changeling frowned for a moment then sighed, “Well, I did come here to prove my identity.”
Before I could think to properly accuse him of being an enemy of the kingdom the changeling changed. She took the form of a tall black furred pegasus mare. One I recognized instantly. Laughing Village, the mare whose equation I had just used.
He, no she, smiled, I could see her chipped tooth as she grinned at me, “Thou hast nay idea who thou're messing with Twi. One of mine kind can live far beyond the life of one pony. Did thou not think I would recognize a page from a book I wrote at half of thy age?”
“I-um,” I stammered as I gave her a feeble grin. Her transformation had me more than a little stunned. A complete description of Laughing was very hard to find. This changeling was ether telling the truth or read nearly as much as I do. “You're under arrest.”
She rolled her eyes at me. In the span of a few seconds she shifted her form through five other ponies. Ponies I knew from the pages of history books. Laughing Village became Dawn Star. Dawn Star became Waning Crescent. Waning Crescent became Night Flair. Night Flair became Brainy von Brawn. Then to my amazement von Brawn became Twinkleshine of all ponies.
The changeling took a short breath before dismissing her current form, revealing her true self in a flash of green fire. A few things equipped my interest immanently. She was a changeling, but she looked very different from the ones who had attacked Canterlot. The biggest difference being a full mane and a yellow coloring to her eyes and back.
The changeling narrowed her eyes looking at me angrily, launching into a rant the likes of which I had never seen before. “I have accelerated the minds of ponykind to a higher plane of understanding continuously for the past four centuries. I am the driving force behind astrophysics itself. I wrote the math you use to this very day when dealing with the heavens. I invented half the instruments which you use to make your observations. I was among the first to begin compiling the complete star chart we use to day.
“I can not even begin to calculate the impact my work has had on Equestria. My life's work has been spent exploring Luna's night our of an insatiable desire to know all the wonders within it! I may not be a pony but this is my home Twilight Sparkle. You want to arrest me because some of my species are savage religious zealots and attacked our capitol? Fine, but when a field of science looses the person who pioneered that field the consequences will be on your head.
“I had come here in the hopes that based on my long term of residence in this land, my contributions to science, and the fact that I can offer you information on my people which is factual and accurate would be enough for you to prevent the Royal Guard from hanging me just because one hive is filled with mad'lings. I have lived here for four hundred years, never making a fuss about anything, not even that nopony knew the extent of my contributions to science, not hurting anypony at all. All that time I have hidden because your people fear mine.
“Well I can't hide anymore. The Guard is coming to Ponyville, they will find me, and I will be killed. You want to arrest me? Fine. I was hoping I could live openly with ponies, guess I can't.”
She sighed and scraped one hoof over the floor. Her face had more sadness in it then I had ever seen on anypony. If changelings could cry, my library would have been flooded.
“Just have me shot, burned, or whatever it is you do at night so I can see the stars when I go.” She asked as she lay on the floor in surrender.
“Ah Tartarus...” I sighed fetching a quill and parchment from a nearby desk.
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You know, I'm actually a little ashamed of myself for having gotten this far through the story without having considered Pinkie's antics to have some basis in psionics right until Meep thought of it.
Well, we've never seen her parents...
I know this has to happen, but why would you think this was a good idea?!
fuels and you underestimate the power of the CMC.
Teaching rocket science to the CMC, what could possibly go wrong?
Not sure I'd bet on that.
That was a pretty convincing show, and it does indeed seem to have convinced Twilight.
I guess Brainy von Braun is basically pony Isaac Newton? They certainly have the same rapping style.
6531381
Laughing Village is supposed to be Newton.
6531381
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wernher_von_Braun
What if Pinkie is actually a Master Psionic?
Wouldn't it explain a lot of her abilities? 
I love that Pinkie knew! Of all the ponies of course she knew! The clash with Twilight seemed to be successful... I kinda wanted to hear more of the challenging between the two, but that might not be the best thing... so I am glad it didn't continue, though, at the same time I am also misplaced about it. >.>v<.< Why didn't Twilight go into more personal things with Von Brawn?
Ahh, Pinkie. Ever dependable.
9343925
This cracks me up more than it probably should.
10185070
9343925
The real pisser of it is Bill isn't even a scientist. He's an engineer. Now, that's kind of like that, but its not the same. Also is, by all accounts, an absolute prick. And that was before his current bid to re enter the publics collective conscience with his current bout of "scientific" espousals. This kids is what happens when we mix politics with academia
Also
10194142 I think you're the first one to recognize that reference/blatant theft.