Closet Pony

by DouglasTrotter

March 26th

>>>March 26th, 6:25 AM<<<

I feel like a broken record. The phrase "I don't know what I'm going to do" has lost its effect. Still, that's all I can say right now, and, in this circumstance, the way I see it right now, I have no idea what to do in this situation. The three little problems have -- I guess, for my sake, my sanity, I should start from the beginning on this one.

Last night, around 9:30 pm, the three fillies finally laid down for the night. The moment seemed a little too opportunistic. It was an opportunity none the less, so I turned the TV off then sat near my computer to do some job hunting.

Our little household needs an income source, and rather fast. We're not hemorrhaging money, but, the money that does exists, exists to keep us afloat, just barely. Not to mention emotions teeter on the brink of disaster. I remember the image of those three fillies popping into my mind when I typed the typical stuff into each job-search site. Heh, I guess that's how my parents must have felt when they wanted to save up money to take care of our little family.

About forty-minutes passed, nothing coming up in terms of applicable jobs, which prompted me to check on the fillies.

Apple Bloom seemed worse off than her friends. Poor thing had to be dreaming of home the way she mumbled her sister's name, along with her big brother. When I returned to my desk chair, "it" happened.

A tingle crawled down my spine, and I clenched my fists. I relaxed, and then sighed before gazing towards my room. A hushed "please no" escaped my lips. That strange smell from earlier in the day had returned, stronger than ever, and, in my room, my hand inched forward till my fingers grasped the handle of the closet door. The hairs on my neck stood on end. To this day, I'll never forget that smell, nor how cold the closet door's handle felt.

"A little help?"

I slid the closet door closed. The firm palm of my hand brushed against my forehead.

I removed my glasses, sighed, and then opened the door, again.

"Thank you," the equine said. A small bit of help given, as asked, the new guest emerged from the closet.

My hand is still shivering from what happened near six hours ago. When that, that, that "thing" stood up..., I just, I just went numb. What causes me to question what to do next is the undeniable fact the creature's lips didn't move when it spoke to me. At least with Apple Bloom there's a sense of common courtesy, courtesy where I don't have to be wary about her reading my mind. For now, I've placed the telepathic equine in my study room.

I'll "have to take it one day at a time" to ease my nerves. Perhaps the new arrival can be seen on a bit of a brighter side. Perhaps it's a sign, a sign... they'll go away.

---End Entry---

>>>March 26th, 10:45 AM<<<

Across the dark, glass dining room table sat the new arrival who sipped on her drink. Christmas Morning couldn't describe what happened when Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo awoke at 8:25 am.

The fillies' eyes crept open. They rubbed them and said "good morning" like usual. Unlike their usual routine, their eyes were met with the site of a familiar face.

Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo leapt forward, embracing the tall-pony as hard as they could. Before I could say anything, a boisterous "princess!" came from Apple Bloom, the other two presumably uttering the same thing in their own tongues. The three fillies let go of the princess they had tackled to the ground and started jumping around until they seemed to come to their senses, all of them trying to talk at once.

Stupid Deus Ex Machina, magical nonsense. Somehow, in some way, this princess just lit up her horn and a light surrounded the three fillies. Now the two non-talkative fillies are able to articulate whatever words they want. The dear princess on the otherhand, she decided to remain silent.

"I'm glad that you are all safe." the princess held up her right hoof. Though she put her hoof down, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo let loose with a flurry of questions. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand the equine's predicament when she just stood there with a raised eyebrow. "Please, please, one at a time my little ponies. I promise to answer your questions to the best of my abilities."

Since I wasn't half-asleep, hearing the pony's voice more clearly, the princess's voice sounded almost cliché in its regal-esk tone. It took some effort to stifle my snickering.

Well, once the little chat session was over, the three fillies -- plus one extra -- sat down to a bit of breakfast at the table while I sipped on some soup. That soup would be breakfast, lunch, and dinner by the time this horse-sized problem got through our food stash. Though, the princess did surprise me, asking for just three slices of toast with some fresh fruit.

Breakfast ended 2hrs ago. Now I find myself gazing at the creature while typing this up on my laptop at the dining room table.

"Thank you for the drink, it's quite delicious." the princess said, sitting near the glass table.

I just nodded my head.

Each time I look up, trying to think, I keep focusing on the creature's crown and whatever you can call that thing around its neck. Not to mention this makes no sense. If the princess can make Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle talkative, why didn't she do the same for herself?

"We will need to talk later. For now, I'm glad that my little ponies are alright." She said, walking by me on her way to the family room.

I. Can't. Stand it. I can't stand it, I can't stand it, I can't stand it!

It's like a piece of glass being stuck in a cut. That piece is there, I can feel it. No matter how hard I try to find that piece of glass, I can't see where it's at to get it out. At least, that's how it feels for me right now. There's something about this pony, something about "Princess" Celestia that's annoying me to no end.

---End Entry---

>>>March 26th, 2:28 PM<<<

"To obtain, something of equal value must be lost."

Kind of stupid to use that kind of quote. That said, I think the quote is quite appropriate, due in part to what I just learned.

Equivalent exchange comes into play as I've just gained crucial pieces to this rather large puzzle. The cost, the cost is the puzzle growing much, much larger. While Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo talked with one another, playing on the game console, I chatted with Princess Celestia, if one could call it chatting.

What I began to suspect was true: these four are stuck here with Princess Celestia's prized pupil having no idea how to get them home.

Quite a bit of time has passed after Apple Bloom disappeared into the portal. Day in and day out, for weeks on end, Twilight Sparkle has worked to bridge the "gap," so-to-speak, of our worlds. The confounding issue is the portal acting as a one-way-trip. The braniac -- perhaps I should call the "Princess of Friendship" an insane lunatic of a scientist that should have her license revoked. I mean, of all the irresponsible actions that could be undertaken in the name of science, this is just wrong from the word go, in my honest opinion. Anyways, back to the matter at hand, the featherbrained, wannabe scientist likened the current situation to a stormy sea where two ships come close to trade supplies before they're yanked away from one another by waves, whatever that means. The toll required for entrance to this world is another matter due to the portal using those aforementioned crystals from Tartarus, crystals which aren't too easy to obtain.

I had to set aside my strange annoyance with the mare in front of me to get the details. In passing, I mentioned my little stint with the strange blue smoke in my dream. Princess Celestia cocked her eyebrow at me before she went silent. I expected smoke to pour out from her ears. The brain behind those eyes, the gears in that princess's mind were turning hard and fast. She knew something. That's more reason to be distrustful of her.

"Hey! What are we havin' for dinner tonight?" Scootaloo said.

"Sorry, I'm kind of in the middle of something. I'll have to think about it." I said.

"Scootaloo, our friend has to think. Though, to be honest, I'd like to have something different. Ooo, maybe you can fix some hay-seed, daffodil sandwiches with fries." Sweetie Belle said.

"Then what'll they eat? Did Princess Celestia's spell zap those noggins? Our friend is human, remember. They don't eat hay-seed. At least ah think they don't eat that stuff." Apple Bloom said. She shook her head. "To be honest, like my sis, it'd be nice to have somethin' different."

"Girls, let our host finish their work. We can discuss dinner in a bit." Princess Celestia said.

She gave a slight wink before helping the trio outside.

---End Entry---

>>>March 26th, 4:28 PM<<<

Ok, deep breaths. Deep, breaths.

This princess will be the death of me.

I guess some dogs got loose and our dear princess decided to see if they were hurt. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo peered through a gap in the fence to watch the princess who had sailed 20ft over the canal gap, with ease. Not-too-long after the little flight display, the dog's owners came running down the grassy pathway that ran along the side of the canal. It looked like those poor fools were going to have a heart-attack when they saw that near seven foot tall white horse sporting a flowing mane and tail, large wings, and a long white horn.

The owners just stood there in a daze, looking at each other.

Despite my loathing of magic, Princess Celestia's little teleportation spell came in handy. A few minutes went by before the owners spotted me. From their almost incomprehensible speech, I managed to understand the question they asked from their cobbled together sentence. Both of them looked at each other, grabbed their pets, and left after I shrugged.

This could have been serious if someone had been recording the incident and put it online. I'm just thankful those nut jobs are quite "ripe" in terms of the smell department, which is in our favor. The little community around here knows of their little escapades, so it means they can be laughed off. It does give rise to what has haunted me for some time, made worse by that dazzling display.

Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo are one thing. I can lie and say they're miniature horses then get a phony license. That'll be the end of that, in some sense. This "horse" sized problem currently gazing at me with an apologetic look in her eyes is another matter.

I can see the headline "Homeowner keeps mystical creature locked away from the world" plastered all over the internet and every media outlet out in the world. Last thing humanity needs in the confirmation of a sentient, alien race of equines.

"So... ya think about it yet?" Apple Bloom said.

"About?" I said.

"Ya know, dinner." Apple Bloom said.

"Right, dinner. I'm still picking up the pieces to my jaw that shattered on the floor." I said. The fillies' dear princess just sat near me, her mane flowing like "magic" in this place windless place. The longer I let this drag on, the worse it will get. In a calm voice I had to say, "Listen, I'm not mad. Ok, well, I'm not thrilled. Please be more cautious. Humans are finicky. Apple Bloom can a-test to how long it took me to get accustomed to your kind."

"I understand, and I will be more careful. You have my word." Princess Celestia said, giving a polite nod. She stood up. The princess tilted her head, smiled, and said, "Now, these three had mentioned something about dinner? What are we having?"

I don't, I just -- gah! How much does this horse-sized pony even eat?!

---End Entry---

>>>March 26th, 9:28 PM<<<

This'll be the first night with three fillies and a princess. Sure, I was nervous about Apple Bloom; I was nervous about Scootaloo when she arrived; and, heck, I was nervous when Sweetie Belle popped through the portal. This time around will be completely different. The good thing, in some miraculous sense, would be the fact I have an adult vs. a child, even if that adult has the power to bring about Armageddon with falling meteors, fire raining from the sky, and drowning continents in the ocean.

"Those three must have been a hoofful to deal with." Princess Celestia said.

All I could do was nod since Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo were exhausted from the day's events. Each of them asked about their families, how they were doing, and when they could see them again. The first two parts were easy. The princess wasn't too forthcoming with the information about the latter. She just mentioned to the three that they would be going home when the time was right, making to assure the fillies it "would" happen.

"Would you allow me to hear your thoughts on a particular matter?" she said.

"As long as you don't read my mind." I said in a hushed tone, looking toward the fillies then back toward the princess.

"How accepting would your race, would humans be of pony-kind?" she said.

"If I flip a coin a thousand times, how many times will it come up heads?"

"I don't know how that is related to the situation, but I couldn't surmise since probability is tricky in determining outcomes." she said.

I pointed at the princess and nodded. She knew what I would say.

"The grim truth to the matter is that I asked my student to construct the portal. She based it on a previous portal that had been destroyed during an event that shook my niece's kingdom." Princess Celestia said. The giant wings at her side seemed to tremble. "I... I want to protect my little ponies at any cost, and I fear there is a day, a time that may come when we have to abandon our homeland. In that fear, I may have caused harm to these three fillies."

"A crown will always sit upon a troubled brow, if the one whose brow the crown sits upon is noble." I said.

"Indeed. There were -- and are -- days and nights that I found myself troubled, fearing for my subjects' safety if things ever got out of control. If things ever got out of my control." Princess Celestia said. She extended her wing and wiped away a tear. A slight glow surrounded her horn. "Here, I would like to remunerate your kind act of sheltering my subjects. I have nothing that could be considered acceptable currency, so, please, except this ."

When that object landed in my hands, it carried a heavy weight; there was no way around it. This, this thing had to be solid gold, inlaid with precious stones. I was in no way an expert, but the crown that rested in my hands may be worth twenty, perhaps fifty times the value of the house I lived in all my life. Again, I'm no expert, so I could only make rough guesses.

In Princess Celestia's left ear -- after I got up and placed the crown back onto her head -- I whispered, "I hate to sound cliché or noble here, but I don't need payment. Just make sure these three get home."

Not even a truckload of mouthwash would remove the taste from my mouth after that sappy statement, and I know first hand that no good deed goes unpunished. Still, it did earn me a rather soft, winged hug from the princess.

"From the bottom of my heart, I will find a way to reward your kindness and generosity."

I don't even want to think how that pony, princess, equine, mare, alicorn, whatever will pay me back. Anyways, now I'm here, at my computer, job hunting, again. Whatever, I'm tired, she's gone to bed, and I need some sleep. Maybe things will improve in the morning. I highly doubt it.

---End Entry---

Comments

[oddhack]

Our hero probably isn't genre-savvy enough to pray that he hasn't been saddled with one of the Cuddlestias.

[Emperor]

Well, Celestia coming along is a big game-changer. I assume she voluntarily crossed the portal (with a crystal in place) to look after the CMC while Twilight finds a way to reverse the portal action so they can cross back over. That, and while Twilight will have been trying to work on the portal already, she'll be extra-motivated if Celestia is on the other side of a currently one-way portal too . Though Celestia will eat more food, she'll also be able to help our main character with keeping the CMC's morale up.

And even if the protagonist rejects the crown, some magic would probably go a long ways to getting a working job again.

I'll assume the blue smoke from earlier was Princess Luna, or potentially the Tantabus.