A Man and an Army

by Saffron

Lyra

I left the castle and was now back in my office. I had a lot of planning to do. There was one problem that prevented me from starting. I didn’t know where to start. If what Ace said was true then I wouldn’t need to worry about the council taking action anytime soon. Then there was the more immediate problems. Delivering Mor’grol, the wedding, and then finally dealing with whatever was keeping me from getting a good night's sleep. What do you think I should do?

“It is obvious. Send the creature first and for now do not worry about the wedding. Ace has security covered. The one thing we should do is figure out what is interfering with your sleep.” Jane replied mentally.

“Well there is one pony I know that may be able to help with my sleep issue. Should have stayed in Canterlot, but I never got a chance to see Ponyville.” I got out of my chair and left my office.

---------------------------------- Ponyville ----------------------------------

When I walked into Ponyville I got some nervous and scared looks from nearby ponies. A few ran away while a smaller few tried to follow me ‘stealthily’. I ignored them and headed to my destination. Twilight's tree home. There was only one thing I never accounted for.

I was tackled to the ground. I let out a surprised yelp and quickly pushed off the offender and took a defensive stance. I dropped it when I saw who assaulted me. On the ground in front of me was a dazed mint unicorn. I walked over to her and helped her up. While Mimic just watched.

She looked at me with amazement. It began getting awkward so I broke the silence.

“Uhhh… Hello.”

“Hi! My name is Lyra!” She exclaimed enthusiastically.

“I am the Commander, and this is my friend Mimic.” I gestured to my armored companion.

She looked me over carefully. Ignoring Mimic completely.

“Are you… A human?” She asked expectantly.

“Yes. I am a…” I was cut off as I got tackled to the ground once more. This time in a hug. Mimic continued to just watch me get assaulted.

“I was right!” She exclaimed happily as she nuzzled my chest.

“Ok, what were you right about?” I asked already knowing the answer.

“That you existed!” Lyra got off of me then turned her attention to my right hand.

“Well I exist. So I guess you were right.”

“I have to show you to Bon Bon.” Lyra used her magic to tug on my right hand and tried dragging me with her.

“Whoa whoa whoa. Slow down. I was heading somewhere.” I shrugged off the tugging of her magic.

“Please come with me.” Lyra said giving me the puppy dog eye’s.

I sighed. “Alright, fine.”

Lyra squee’d. “Follow me!” She said enthusiastically.

“What have I gotten myself into.” I muttered. I heard Mimic chuckle behind me.

I followed Lyra through the small town. We eventually reached a small candy shop. Lyra motioned for me to follow her inside. When I entered I was greeted with the pleasant smell of sugary treats. I looked at one of the counter to see all kinds of candies. My mouth began to water instinctively. Mimic closed the door behind me.

“Bon Bon, are you here?!” Lyra called out.

I heard a few pots fall to the ground in the back room. “Just a minute.” Bon Bon replied.

After a few minutes a cream colored mare with a two toned mane came out. She looked to Lyra oblivious to my presence.

“Look I found a human!” She pointed a hoof at me.

“Not this again.” Bon Bon said annoyed. She looked to where Lyra was pointing.

“Hello.” I waved at her.

Bon Bon screamed and ran into the back room.

“That was very rude of you!” I called out to the fleeing mare. “Well if that's all you wanted…” I was cut off by Lyra.

“Hold on.” She told me. Lyra went into the back room to retrieve Bon Bon.

I didn’t know why I was putting up with this. I could probably leave right now while Lyra was busy coaxing Bon Bon out from the back. In the end I decided to stay. It took fifteen minutes for Lyra to convince Bon Bon to come out.

“He… Hello.” Bon Bon hesitated.

“Why are you so scared of me?” I asked.

“Uhhh… I don’t know.” Bon Bon replied nervously.

“Well you don’t need to fear me. My visit here is of a peaceful nature.” I looked over at the candies. “Also I would like to buy some candy.”

“Do you even have bits?” Lyra asked.

“Oh, yeah, I forgot about how I was going to pay…”

“I’ll cover it.” Lyra offered happily.

“Thank you.” I picked up a jar of lollipops. “I'll just take these.” I took one out of the jar and stuck it in my mouth. “This is delicious.”

“So you like candy?” Lyra asked.

I nodded in confirmation. I watched Bon Bon sneak back into the back room.

“Fascinating, what else do you eat?” Lyra summoned a note pad and quill ready to write my response.

“Well, I eat a lot.” I started thinking on my more carnivorous pallet. “I really like hamburgers.”

“Whats a hamburger.” Lyra asked curiously.

“Ground up cow meat.”

Lyra wrote it down and did not even react.

“So you eat meat. Makes sense, you have teeth for it.” Lyra jotted something else down. Then I got an idea.

“So, is there a university or academic society you want to show your findings to?”

“Several. There is one in particular though. It's in Canterlot.” Lyra had a look of determination now. “I will prove those high and mighty snobs wrong!” She declared.

“With just some notes?” I asked skeptically. “Would it not be better to bring, I don’t know, a human.”

Lyra looked at her notes and realized that I was right. She could take all the notes she wanted, but in the end they would be rejected without evidence or proof to support her hypothesis.

“Could you come with me then?” Lyra asked hopefully.

“I would love to. I know how it feels to have a lifetime of research pushed away and deemed ‘false’ or ‘just a fluke’.”

“Really?” Lyra asked.

“I dabble in science and the arcane from time to time.” I looked at Lyra. “So when do you want to go?”

“I can be ready to leave in ten minutes.” Lyra then sprinted out of the candy shop knocking Mimic over.

“Wait!” I ran out to stop her and tell her that I meant another day but by the time I got outside she was already gone. “Well I guess it won’t hurt. It shouldn’t take to long.” I paused and thought about what I had just said. “Hopefully.”

“I think you bit off more than you can chew.” Mimic said as he walked out of the candy shop.

“I don’t think…”

“I think did as well.” Jane said cutting me off.

“It is just a little trip to Canterlot.”

“Where you are going to a place of academia. As a specimen.” Jane pointed out.

“Well if the do try anything I have Mimic.”

“You mean the changeling who stood by and just watched you get tackled… Twice.” Jane showed me a mental replay of the occurrences.

“Yeah. Why did you not step in Mimic?”

“You were not in any danger. If you were I would have stepped it.” Mimic replied.

“He has a point.”

Jane did not reply.

I kneeled down next to Mimic. “Seriously though, the scholars might try to take something of mine while I am not looking. Make sure that does not happen.”

“Yes Commander.” Mimic replied.

I got back up and went back in the candy store. Bon Bon was behind the counter now. When she saw me come back in she didn’t run away this time, but she still looked apprehensive.

There was a small dining area in the shop so I walked over to one of the chairs and sat down. Bon Bon continued to stare at me. I decided to just ignore her. A pony walked in a few minutes later. I looked over hoping it was Lyra. Unfortunately it wasn’t. It was Nurse Red Heart.

Red Heart broke Bon Bons stare and the two struck up a conversation. I went back to just staring at the wall in front of me. That did not last long. I felt a hoof tap my shoulder. I looked over to see it was Red Heart.

“Hello.”

“What are you doing in Ponyville? More importantly why aren’t you in bed, you look absolutely worn out.” Red Heart said looking me over.

“I would try and get some sleep. How ever there is an entity that is hindering my ability to.” I didn’t feel like lying so I just told the truth.

“An entity?” Red Heart asked tilting her head slightly.

“Yes. I plan on talking to Luna later today to see if she can help.”

“I am sure she will be able to help.” Red Heart smiled. “She is the princess of the night after all.”

I smiled in return. “You're probably right.”

“Red Heart your order is ready.” Bon Bon called out.

“Well I have to go. Goodbye.” Nurse Red Heart went over to the counter and collected her order. She left after paying.

After Red Heart left a new pony walked in. It was Berry Punch. She seemed off balance. I was proven correct as she promptly fell over after entering. She smacked her muzzle against the floor which caused her to cry out in pain.

“Stupid floor… Gett *hic* getting in my way.” Berry slurred.

“Are alright Berry?” Bon Bon asked from behind the counter.

“I’m fiiiiiiiine *hic* but the flooooor is sooooo heavy! I ca *hic* can’t move it outta my *hic* my way!” Berry began hitting the floor with her two front hooves trying to move it apparently.

“Do you need some help up?” Bon Bon offered getting to Berry’s side.

“Nooo buck off! *hic* I am got this.” Berry

Berry stumbled towards me as she was trying to get up. Eventually she managed to. After she did she locked eyes with me.

“Heeey I do *hic* dont think I have see *hic* seen you before.” Berry slurred.

“Probably because I have never been to Ponyville before.”

“Well *hic* why dont I sho *hic* show you to my place. We *hic* we can get properly *hic* acquainted.” She said in what was supposed to be a sultry tone.

“I’m good.”

“Not yet, but you will be.” Berry Punch then tried to take my lower armor off. I just watched her fail miserably in her attempt to de-pants me.

I heard another pony walk in and to my relief it was Lyra.

“Lyra you finally made it.” I pushed Berry Punch away only for her to stumble back and go at it again.

“What is Berry doing to you?” Lyra asked.

“Apparently I am so sexy she just wants to take me.” I struck a pose which caused Berry to fall down. She got back up and started up again.

Lyra walked over to Berry. “Berry you're drunk you should go home.” Lyra attempted to get Berry off of me. It didn’t end well.

“Get off of *hic* me you whorse!” Berry Punch bucked Lyra in the chest sending her across the room. “He is *hic* mine!”

“Lyra!” Bon Bon called out as she raced over to help her up.

“Bad Berry.” There was a newspaper conveniently on the table I was sitting at. I rolled it up and swatted Berry’s muzzle.

She recoiled and rubbed her muzzle. “Owww what was that for *hic*?”

“You hit Lyra. Now apologise.” I crossed my arms and gave Berry a stern disapproving look.

“Ok.” Berry said sadly. She slowly walked over to where Lyra was only stumbling a few times. She was still recovering from the hit. “I am so *hic* sorry.” She then began to leave when she got a happy look on her face. “I know what can cheer you up! We can share him!”

I face palmed.

“What?!” Lyra’s face became red.

“Yeah we could both have •hic* some fun.” Berry helped Lyra up.

Bon Bon could only stare. Lyra was really flustered but she seemed to be considering the offer.

“Lyra. We need to get going don’t we.” I didn’t want this situation getting any weirder.

Lyra shook her head. “Your right. We do need to go!” She then rushed outside.

“What about…”

“No Berry.” I went over to Berry and gave her muzzle one more whack with the newspaper before I went out to follow Lyra. We rushed through Ponyville heading to the train station.

Author's Note:

Sorry it took so long. A few things came up. I hope you enjoy this more humorous chapter. Also I am still looking for OC's. For more details please click here .

Comments

[Saffron]

6995770 Yeah I went back in and edited it. In that case you are right it did show disrespect. Then again I did write the first two chapters around three and a half years ago. So I am not surprised I made an error like that. Thanks for letting me know.

[Emv7]

6995770 bow to royalty isn't a sing of respect too? I know that someone who is a leader don't have the need but besides that when is a bow bad? not many are clear with that and as long as is a greeting they aren't submitting, I have seen other fics where the human don't bow because he is not a subject but isn't this also disrespect for that kingdom Royal figure? I just want to know what is right

[Saffron]

6998496 Well in this case shining armor was in a way demanding that the commander bow to them. Shining also referred the princesses as being the commanders ruler by saying "Bow before your princess." . So in a way it would be seen as submitting. Now if it was under a different circumstance as in greeting or something mundane it would have been different.

[Emv7]

7002974 oh Thank you that make sense I still not have made it there so it wasn't too clear for me I just started reading thanks it shouldn't take me long

[Night-Watch-The-DAD]

He doesn't have the bonk stick so he made a bonk paper.

No horny berry