Girl Talk
There was a knock at the door.
Twilight jerked up from where she was slumped over on the desk, in the portable building she and Sunset were living in. Had she fallen asleep? Wait, did she sleep last night? Twilight woke up face to the desk, so she could only conclude that no, she had not gotten herself to bed last night! There was another knock.
Twilight got up, taking care to note she was still fully clothed, then answered the door.
“Mail’s here,” said a rather harried looking Granny Smith, with a whole armful of mail.
“You need any help with that?” Twilight asked, wincing at Granny’s load.
“You betcher,” Granny replied too grumpily for summer. “The principal cain’t git that school opened up for the ponies fast enough. There’s just too many of ‘em, what don’t know how to walk and talk yet!”
“Oh, well, that’s true,” Twilight admitted, “But I meant specifically the mail.”
“Already got three people deliverin’ it!” Granny replied hotly. “Ponies cain’t not barely write with their mouths, but everyone else wants to send ‘em letters! And as for you, I gotcha a special one.”
Granny handed Twilight a lone, thin letter. Utterly unremarkable except for the fact that the return address was Canterlot General Hospital. “It’s probably just... asking for more advice on treating ponies,” Twilight said uneasily, even though she knew full well that the hospital had always called her about that on the portable telephone before.
“Well, don’t worry yourself too much missy,” Granny said, with a soft, sympathetic look Twilight’s way. “We’re all strugglin’ in this, and it’s okay if you cain’t always hold up your end of the bargain. Things’ll be better once this is all over.”
“I... yeah, you’re right,” Twilight said disconsolately. She still hadn’t told them, about what she was reading in that diary. About Anathema, and its wanton slaughter, the terrible fate of those afflicted. About why everyone was changing into a pony, and somewhere in those pages was the very origin of humanity. Twilight wasn’t sure things would be better; it was all she could do to soften the blow at this point. People had been taking this really well, but... panic was on the horizon, and the city was running out of resources to keep track of everyone.
Twilight opened the letter and started reading, only for her eyebrow to go up at who was writing to her. The contents of the letter were... strange to say the least.
Dear Twilight Sparkle,
This is Dinky. I’m still recovering from when I got hurt a few weeks ago. You came to me once, to tell me what kind of pony I would become, which I’ve been trying to come to terms with, but there was something else you told me, that I would like to talk with you about. What you told me was that in your world, a girl named Ditzy Do was my mother, and while that would be physically impossible for her in my world, I think we are connected somehow.
I’m writing to tell you that my world’s Ditzy Do has been recieving love letters from a secret admirer. One of the letters told her “Dinky needs you,” right before my unfortunate incident. You’re the only one I know who has made any connection between her and me. Do you like Ditzy? It’s fine if you do, but I sort of accidentally told her about you being her secret admirer. Ditzy was going to ask you about this directly, but I don’t think she is very good at approaching people.
Twilight looked up at that, recalling one strange incident recently in which she emerged from the ancient library, having finished translating one of the books on botanical cuisine, because she didn’t want to face another horror story in that diary. She’d been getting ready to hop on the bus, when she noticed that googly eyed grey girl standing there right in beside her. A blush crept onto Ditzy’s face, as Twilight made eye contact (singular), and Ditzy opened her mouth as if to speak, but only a nervous laugh escaped her. Ditzy backed away then, shortly running away across the courtyard. Twilight never knew what to make of that, until now.
“This better be Sunset’s idea of a joke,” Twilight grumbled worriedly, looking back to the letter.
Please let her down gently if you aren’t interested in her. I don’t think she has any friends, so she might be in a very fragile situation. She gave me all her letters, as if I could make sense of them, but I think it’s also that I’m the first person who’s given her attention in a long time. She’s actually been visiting me even more than Diamond Tiara!
Best of luck, and sorry for the trouble with Diamond.
Dinky Do
Twilight hadn’t even told Sunset Shimmer about Ditzy’s daughter back home. It just didn’t seem important. And Twilight certainly hadn’t been writing any letters herself. Could this be another Equestrian from her own world, who wasn’t nullified many centuries ago? But the last incident before Sunset had happened centuries ago! How would any of them know about a modern Equestrian family, like Dinky and Ditzy Do?
It all added up to one thing. Somepony had come through the mirror recently, somepony familiar with Ponyville town culture, and somepony who hadn’t yet made contact with Twilight Sparkle. It was the only conceivable explanation.
She basically had to get ahold of these letters.
Twilight wasn’t sure how to do it, though. With her responsibilities over translating what could be recovered from the library, and acting as an informal mediator between her world and this one, she didn’t have much time to spare. Plus she’d never visited a mental hospital before, and the prospect was actually kind of freaky. Twilight Sparkle couldn’t pass this up though, just because she was a little nervous about crazy ponies! People. Whatever.
While Twilight sat at her desk, lay her chin in her hands and stewed, three blurs of yellow, white, and orange streaked by outside.
“It’s over! It’s over!” Apple Bloom cheered deliriously.
“I think I flunked everything and I don’t even care!” Scootaloo shouted alongside her.
“I think I didn’t flunk everything, and I don’t even care!” Sweetie Belle exclaimed as the three of them charged straight out of the car that brought them into the bright, sunny summer day. While Apple Bloom took off across the meadow, Scootaloo took to the sky, and surprisingly didn’t try to outrace the little yellow earth pony, but just turned cartwheels up there in the air. Sweetie Belle trotted in circles looking up at Scootaloo, while Apple Bloom shot across the meadow.
There were many ponies out here, like a bouquet of giant pony shaped flowers all over the meadow. There were many ponies everywhere, but these ponies saw the three and several recognized them, with exclamations of, “Apple Bloom!” and “They’re back!” and, “Wow, look at her go,” and “Hey Shcooaloo, wash how high I can fly!” The more landbound ones clustered around Sweetie Belle asking for news, and she happily told them,
“It’s over! School is officially over, and we can be here all the time now!”
Her smile kind of froze then, and her face dawned with horror, as everypony around her all began asking questions at once.
Summer was officially here, and it wasn’t looking good for the Cutie Major Crusaders. Any thoughts of a summer of peace and leisure were but distant pipe dreams. With over a thousand ponies on the farm, and dozens more showing up every day barely able to walk and talk, there was just too much work to do, to spend a lot of time playing around. The Crusaders quickly found themselves overwhelmed, as it seemed that school had actually been sheltering them from the brunt of it, but soon as finals ended, it seemed like everyone had a problem for them that absolutely needed to be solved. Sometimes, it was a problem that actually did!
Like even Sweetie Belle found herself conscripted into aiding the other unicorns, despite her frustrating inability to form a spark. Apparently a lot of what went into making unicorn magic was mathematical, with an actual geometry in the horn that could be exploited to produce cool effects. Unfortunately while there were plenty of people better than Sweetie Belle at math... well, quite a few at least, she still was the first one to study magic, and Twilight and Sunset were so busy with their ancient artifacts, it was nearly impossible to get a private magic lession with them.
Unfortunately that meant she had to spend a lot of time watching other ponies use magic.
“Alright,” she said wearily to the unicorn standing before her. A dark grey haired pony with a greyish blue coat of fur, Neon Lights was one of the rarest of the rare: a woman who transformed into a unicorn stallion. She/he found magic a thankful diversion from his other horn. Sweetie Belle was honestly having a harder time with keeping these pronouns correct than anything else regarding the surprisingly upbeat man... girl... stallion.
“So one more time,” Sweetie said, “Levitate this protractor, and slide the bevel around to where you feel the most resistance.”
The protractor reliably slid to the exact same angle as the slope of his horn. “Well that’s not it,” Sweetie said in puzzlement. “I don’t know why your levitation would be flaking out. The angle of influence is what was supposed to make it stable, but I’m pretty sure the complement isn’t too obtuse. I don’t really know how to do it right, because it’s in three dimensions and I only studied two. Or, three... and a half I think?
“Hey don’ ask me. I’m a flipping waitress,” he said with a downturned, discouraged slump, “I never even go’ past Algebra. All I wanna do is get sho I can lift stuff when walking aroun’, so I don’ have to carry every flipping thing in my mouth.”
“Try levitating the protractor again, and move it a foot to the right first,” a new voice piped up.
“Oh, Elias, thank goodness, ” Sweetie Belle said, turning to the other filly, a pale blue unicorn with a bright purple mane. “I need you to do your integration thing.”
“Integration thing?” Neon Lights asked the two curiously. The little blue and purple unicorn filly turned towards him and looked like she was going to say something, but the moment their eyes met, Elias blushed and looked away. If Sweetie Belle hadn’t been snooping on Elias’s dreams, she might even be confused what was going on.
Instead, Sweetie stepped in front of Elias and gave Neon a steady look of soft green, saying, “The magical potential of an energy field is proportional to the integral of the wave function. But I’m only a Freshman so I barely know what a wave function is. I don’t know why people keep asking me for help. I’m studying as fast as I can, but I mean...”
Sweetie Belle paused, looking down at Elias, who still silent, was actually crouching low and trembling in her anxiety.
“Calm down, Elias,” Sweetie Belle whispered. “He just wants to know why he keeps dropping things. He’s not even a real guy.”
“I’m fine Sweetie,” Elias said unconvincingly, unable to look at the larger male unicorn, “I just—”
“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” Neon whined, hovering over them with an offended look.
“Elias just isn’t used to being a girl, still,” Sweetie Belle told Neon Lights, still standing in between them protectively “You know the feeling, right?” she said searchingly.
“Oh, yeah, uh,” Neon stammered, backing up a tic, “I uh, don’t know how much help I can be though. Being a girl just sucks.”
“Oh, so you used to be a...” Elias said, looking up at Neon with wide, purple eyes. A sigh of relief almost escaped Sweetie Belle, as she was worried the filly wouldn’t be able to put even two words togther. She cautiously moved aside so the two could talk to each other directly.
The stallion didn’t seem to pick up on the knifelike tension in the air, but... he sure seemed relaxed, so maybe that’d rub off on her? “It is serioushly overrated,” he replied with a roll of his eyes. “So don’ ask me for advice on girly shtuff. I was terrible at being a girl. All I want is my horn working. This schanging gender stuff doesn’t bother me.”
“Well, it bothers me,” Elias said, looking away somewhat resentfully.
“Do ya wanna schange back?” Neon asked, with a sympathetic wince.
“Ye—” Elias said, looking back toward Neon, and then a look of surprise crossed her face.
“I... guess?” she said less certainly than she thought she would. “If I could, I suppose I would? What I really want is to stop being so shy around... guy ponies.”
“You’re doing pretty good with me,” Neon said with a sloppy smile that brought a blush to Elias’s face.
“W-w-w-well it’s because you used to be a girl,” Elias stuttered, looking away again. “So you know how I... feel.”
“Frankly Elias,” Sweetie Belle announced gruffly, “I don’t think I know how you feel, and I’ve been a girl my whole life!”
“We all have our weird experienshes here,” Neon said, “And mine’s a flaky horn. So could we maybe worry about that a little? I’d leave ya alone, but it almost sounded like you were onto something with the integral thingy.”
“Sure, it’s um... lift the protractor in your horn field,” Elias suggested. Neon did as she instructed, and she said, “Now start moving it to the right. Now up a little bit. Bit more forward. There, that’ll be the—” The blue light surrounding the protractor flickered and died, and it went clattering to the floor.
“Aw, man!” Neon said, snorting at the stubbornly quiescent protractor.
“No that’s what I expected,” Elias said. “You have a node forming at a zenith of 36 and an azimuth of... you have a dead zone in your magical field. It probably oscillates in an elliptical orbit, but what you need to do is adjust the frequency of your horn field, until those points of turbulence smooth out.”
“And how do I do that? ” Neon asked.
“Ooh, I know this!” Sweetie spoke up. “You need to imagine like you’re pulling a string within your horn up into your head. Once you find the right frequency for your horn’s angle, you should stop having any uh... dead spots!”
“Yeah, that’s right!” Elias said with a bright smile at Sweetie Belle. “Go ahead, try it,” she urged Neon. “It helps to move something in a parabolic arc while you do, so try levitating that again.”
When Neon fixed his shit and delightedly made the measuring device fly around in a figure eight, Elias laughed out loud. “Good job, you did it! That’s so cool!” she cheered happily. While the blue filly clapped her hooves and egged Neon Lights on, Sweetie looked at Elias more than the stallion. Sweetie Belle wanted Elias to see this part of herself, but was afraid to say something to avoid ruining the moment. It’s just that Elias was such a nice um... girl, when she wasn’t always trying to second guess her girlhood.
44 more ponies woke up the next day, completely at a loss of how to walk on four hooves, just like every other day. Apple Bloom saw the ponies she’d helped, in turn help whip the new ones into shape pretty easily, but it was still a lot of ponies to deal with. Sweetie Belle stuck with the mental unicorny/talky aspects of acclimatization, and Scootaloo spent her time giving lessons to flyers, so the three of them actually had very little time to play together, even though it was summer vacation.
The three came to realize with some trepidation, that this would only get worse, all the way up until the first day of school next year. And then they’d all be ponies. What would happen then? Was anything really going to change at all? Despite all the things for them to be worried about in this strange situation, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo found the most worrisome fear, that when it was over, they’d be pushed right back into the daily grind of high school.
Twilight Sparkle was... well, she was at the asylum for purposes of helping patients adjust to being ponies, but the pony she wanted to speak with actually wasn’t a pony at all. Dinky remained a human, at least for now. She found him together with another blonde boy, and a lady with bountiful curly hair of white and purple swirls, doing laps around a... chess board.
There was a minder there looking as weirded out as Twilight felt, as the three marched in tight squares, the older lady calling out marching orders... sort of. “7 8 9! so very fine! 7 8 9! stay in a line!” she commanded, seeming pleased as punch every time the other two turned to a different side of the chessboard.
They marched around a chessboard on which a game couldn’t possibly be played. The white chess pieces were scattered on their sides, rather than placed on the board. The black ones were all gathered up on the board in a small disorganized pile. Twilight didn’t like it.
“Is this... okay?” she whispered to the attendant uneasily.
He blinked, looking at her, and her guest badge, and whispered back, “This’s actually the most coherent ol’ Screwball has been here in a while. That kid’s got a touch, I say.”
Twilight stared at the purple lady with worry, for a different reason now.
“Did you say...” she asked hesitantly, “Screwball? That, er, that woman’s actual name wouldn’t be Diamond Dazzle, would it?”
“Why,” he asked, glancing at Twilight, “You come to visit her?”
Twilight shook her head. “No,” she said, “It’s just... I have a... friend who I thought was an orphan, and...”
“Ey, hold it,” the guy said, suddenly getting in Twilight’s face. “You gotta remember you signed a non-disclosure agreement. Unless there’s danger to life and limb, you could get in a lot of trouble for blabbing out a certain patient’s private life. She’s got family, you hear? It’s nobody’s business, and the last thing we want is to ruin Diamond—to ruin the life of a certain someone. Telling people they’re crazy is a bad idea, okay?”
“Bubble bath for breakfast is a crazy bad idea,” the white and purple haired lady commented gravely, standing together in the huddle with Twilight and the tweed shirted minder, who both about leapt out of their skin at her sudden closeness. “But don’t worry,” Screwball said soothingly, “I know which door to go through.”
“Izzit door number 1?” the minder asked disgustedly, returning his hat to his head.
“It’s door number 1!” she announced joyously, “The medicine is behind the table tongue. Trust me, I know these things!”
“Hey, um,” a quiet boy’s voice came behind her, “Your queen got knocked over again.”
“Oh no!” the lady exclaimed, unfocused purple eyes widening in alarm. She spun around and ran past the boy over to the chess board shouting, “Don’t worry Bubbles! Mommy’s almost got this game beat!”
“Sorry about that,” the lavender boy named Dinky said, while the pink lady retreated to er... roll on top of the chessboard, giggling, “I assume you’re here about the letters.”
“As a matter of fact, I—” Twilight glanced at the minder, “Am here to consult with the staff regarding their pony patients, after a simple presentation, but could I look at the letters, while I’m here?”
“Sure thing,” Dinky said happily, then glanced at the minder adding, “Um... hold on, let me get Ditzy.”
“Could you meet me in the group room?” Twilight said, before Dinky scurried off. “I’ll be setting up in there for a while.”
Several minutes later, Dinky and a familiar grey girl with blonde hair and mismatched golden eyes came walking into the group room, Dinky with a handful of letters, and the girl with a handful of anxieties.
“Ah! Excellent!” Twilight chirped, looking up from fiddling with the projector inserted in the desk she sat up on, there at the back of the room. “Are those the letters?”
Dinky nodded, looking down at them.
“Thank you, Dinky,” Twilight said with a smile that she moved to the girl, “And you must be Ditzy Do?”
The girl’s mouth dropped open with genuine surprise as she stammered out, “Uh, ah, yea, that’s me. You didn’t—write the letters, did you?”
“No, and I totally understand why you were reacting that way towards me,” Twilight replied soothingly, “I was just as silly and tongue-tied with my first crush on a stallion.”
Ditzy shut her mouth, and adopted a curious twitch in her eyelid.
“Could we focus on the letters?” Dinky said, uneasily, “And less on the whole... being a horse thing?”
While Ditzy’s mind went into strange territories she had never before once contemplated... or something, Twilight nodded and said to them, “Thank you for letting me look at them. I’m hard pressed to find any leads at all into the nature of this crisis. I think we’re finally putting the pieces together, but I need all the help I can get. You said there was something strange about the letters?”
“Well, other than that they’re all only a few sentences long, um...” Dinky fiddled through them, handing Twilight a letter. “Some of them really don’t seem like... they exactly match up with reality.”
“Oh? Like what?” Twilight said, looking at the letter.
I had no idea you were with Brad. You care for him? Perhaps I should just fade into the shadows.
“Oh, that’s sad,” Twilight said, wishing she had ears to lower. “I–I mean—” she stuttered, looking at Ditzy, “If you’re with another boy that’s okay; it’s fine. You have every right to decide who’s special to you.”
That didn’t stop Ditzy’s blush from deepening, and she looked away.
“What’s wrong?” Twilight said, desperate to console the girl.
Ditzy mumbled something too quiet to hear, and wincing inwardly, Twilight just had to say,
“Didn’t catch that, sorry.”
Ditzy said shyly, but more loudly, “Brad doesn’t even know who I am.”
“But your secret admirer thinks he does?” Twilight asked confusedly. Ditzy nodded mutely.
“The last letter is even weirder,” Dinky said in a more intrigued tone, “It says he ate her cookies, but she never even baked any.”
This week you were so clever, I thought the world of you! The cookies are tastier than I imagined.
Twilight looked at it in puzzlement, saying, “I thought you said your secret admirer hadn’t confessed.”
“He hasn’t! ” Ditzy blurted out anxiously.
“Are you sure he’s writing letters to you?” Twilight asked.
Ditzy frowned at that, saying a little grumpily, “Yes, he even said my name once!”
More than all the world, I want you to be happy, Ditzy Do. Five fingers salute your courage.
“Salute your courage? ” Twilight said skeptically. “Wait, was this the fifth letter you received?”
“I guess so?” Ditzy said, “They don’t have a date on them, but I can remember the order I think.”
“Please do,” Twilight said, folding her fingers in front of her mouth. “Something’s bugging me about these that I want to check.”
After some time, the grey girl handed Twilight a sorted stack of letters, and Twilight looked through them.
•
Year two sophomore here. One who thinks you adorable, and loves seeing you just as you are.
•
In time, I want to confess to you. Two of us would be so perfect together.
•
Others are loop in the head to ignore you. Three things special about you: golden eyes, cheerful smile, big heart.
•
When I go outside, I want to go riding with you. Four legs and you’d be my cute little pony.
•
More than all the world, I want you to be happy, Ditzy Do. Five fingers salute your courage.
•
Our love is not an illusion. Six angels could not call me away from you.
•
Imagine if we rode together on ponies. Seven and so on commands for horses, did you know?
•
My love for you is so very real. I hope I can prove it by speaking to you for the first time.
•
What kind of cad is one such as I? Watching you from the shadows, afraid you won’t be the angel I see.
•
I had no idea you were with Brad. You care for him? Perhaps I should just fade into the shadows.
•
I don’t know what our future holds. One thing is for sure, I’m totally sweet for you.
•
When I saw you kiss that boy, I thought I lost you, but now that he snubs you, maybe I stand a chance.
•
Oh for the love of—I tried to leave you, but I’m stuck with these heartfelt feelings for you.
•
Sorry for last week. I never know what to write. When I go outside, maybe I can find inspiration.
•
I should have confessed to you by now, but hopefully love can surpass this barrier. We were meant for each other, you and I.
•
I’m working up the courage every single day. You won’t have to hold out much longer.
•
This week you were so clever, I thought the world of you! The cookies are tastier than I imagined.
•
Dinky needs you.
•
I’m not Dinky, you ninny!
Twilight only peered at them a short while before murmuring, “Hm...? Oh, huh. Interesting.”
“What is it?” Dinky asked curiously.
“The first seven letters all have the letter’s number starting the second sentence,” Twilight said. “See? ‘Five fingers’ on the fifth letter?”
“Do you know what is a five finger salute?” Ditzy asked confusedly. “I could never figure that one out.”
“I think these messages are in some sort of code,” Twilight said, “It might just be to indicate that it’s the fifth love letter, and something about it... hmm...”
She looked through the letters again, muttering quietly to herself.
“Wh—” Dinky said, right as Twilight shouted,
“Aha!”
The golden-eyed kids both blinked.
“Look at message number 3,” Twilight said, holding it up and pointing for them, “Others are loop in the head to ignore you.”
“Yeah, loopy,” Ditzy said with a smile, “He’s not always the best speller.”
“No, he is,” Twilight replied, pointing to the letter again. “Which word in this letter is the word ‘loop’?”
“The... third,” Dinky said, leaning forward to look closer at the letters laid out in order on the table.
“It’s a simple code,” Twilight explained eagerly, “Take the first word from the first letter, the second from the second, and so on, and they form a secret message!”
“What message is it?” Ditzy asked in an engrossed tone.
Both looked toward Twilight eagerly, as she flipped through the letters again, saying the words, “year time loop outside world illusion ponies real I care for you stuck outside barrier longer than”
“...well?” Ditzy asked with an expectant grin, “What’s the secret message?”
Twilight blinked, looking at the two of them, saying, “Year time loop—oh.”
“Right,” Twilight grumbled disgustedly, glaring at nothing in particular.
“What’s wrong?” Dinky asked, puzzled. “Something you can’t tell us?”
“Yes, literally yes,” Twilight said with a sigh. “I’m afraid these letters are a dead end. I clearly found no secret message in them.”
“Yes, that’s what you said, right?” Dinky replied unsurely. “They’re just some silly love letters, but from who?”
“That, I’d really like to know,” Twilight said darkly.
“Hi!” said the white blonde boy from earlier, startling the darkly glowering Twilight so much that she flailed right off the desk, landing hard on the floor.
He continued in rapidfire alarm, “Oh no, I’m so sorry! It’s just Firey saw you and said you were Dinky’s friend and I thought that meant you might be okay to say hi to even though you’re a big important guest speaker and I’m sorry I always—” until Twilight held up a hand from her splayed out position on the floor.
“No problem!” she yelped, picking herself up with his assist, and brushing herself off, “I’m fine. It’s no problem, uh...” She looked at him questioningly.
“I’m the Dizzitron!” the boy announced excitedly, “But you can call me Surprise!”
Oh no.
Jan 12, 1395
No events have occured as of late. It seems too quiet. Ponies all around the kingdom are bunkered down and dealing with their own internal cases of Anathema. Our natural resistance seems to be our only saving grace. The surviving Wonderbolt is in stable condition, thanks to the brilliant physicians of Canterlot, and of course our dear Princess Twilight. Stable physically perhaps, but mentally... the nightmares she faces are beyond compare. If only we had gotten to her, before... but this is not a record of our failures, but a diary of our hopes for the future.
There have never been this many princesses in the world, and with two to bring the day and night, that leaves two to find a solution to this damnable problem. Surely they can find one. I only wish they were more experienced. Though Twilight is swift as a swallow to learn what I know, she is too inexperienced to watch over the dreams of ponies, especially in these troubled times. Would that I had a moment to... but even this journal must fall short. A princess’s duties only grow heavier as her kingdom comes at risk.
Princess Luna
“It’s funny,” Professor Berry told the dream princess, “You aren’t the only one of your sisters with memory loss. Vice Principal Luna and Principal Celestia are both princesses in this journal, and they have nothing but good to say about you.”
“Uh huh?” Princess Twilight asked, enraptured along with Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, who sat with Cherry on the carpet in a dream version of her apartment flat.
“The difference is they have memories instead, ” Berry said in an intrigued tone, “Whereas you have just... nothing.”
“I have some things,” Twilight said, hurt by the implications of that. “It’s just been so long!”
“Well you know, the forensics guys were saying that the fading in the ink and the dust accumulation were between 40 and 50 years of aging,” Berry said, “And that was in the time stopped room, where one year was like a hundred!”
“Okay,” the princess said awkwardly. There was a pause.
“Tell me more about Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom,” Princess Twilight said hopefully.
“There actually aren’t many entries matching them,” Berry replied, “Are you sure you don’t remember the names Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow Dash?”
“They sound familiar, but it’s been a while, so...” Twilight inwardly cringed, feeling guilty for not even remembering what marks went with those names.
“Well, these three remember them,” Cherry said a bit smugly, gesturing a hoof at the fillies sitting beside them, “See, your sister Sunset made friends with them, and introduced you. But Apple Bloom had—has a big sister called Applejack—”
“I’m related to Rainbow Dash?! ” Scootaloo asked, buzzing up giddily into the air.
“Well—yes, I guess?” Berry replied in confusion, “Sunset left an entry saying how she was impressed Rainbow Dash wanted Scootaloo as a sister, considering that she—er—you couldn’t fly.”
“I couldn’t?” Scootaloo asked, wide-eyed.
“She said Rainbow Dash was working with getting you flying, and doing that made her an incredibly dedicated friend to all,” Berry said, rolling her eyes. “The journal’s Sunset was a bit of an exaggerator though, so I think it just meant Princess Sunset thought really highly of Rainbow Dash.”
“Rainbow Dash deserves it,” Scootaloo said confidently, settling to the ground again. “Even if this time she learned to fly after I did.”
“What about me?” Sweetie Belle asked, leaning forward eagerly.
Rubbing a bright pink hoof under her chin, Cherry said, “Nothing so dramatic. But Twilight did once say how much she wished she and Sunset could be as good of sisters as you and Rarity. Which was silly since Sunset and Twilight seem to get along great, in the journal at least. So I guess you two were extra specially good sisters.”
“And still are,” Sweetie replied smugly, tilting her head with what she thought was graceful pride.
“So what did the journal say about our sisters?” Apple Bloom asked, “An’ Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie ah guess. What kinda friends were they to th’ princesses?”
“Oh, let me tell you about one of the entries Twilight left about an adventure between her and Fluttershy...” Cherry responded eagerly.
It was a good dream.
Dinky was extremely confused. First Twilight just ignored the fact that the mysterious letters predicted that Ditzy and he were connected, and now she stared silently at Dinky’s new friend as if she’d seen a ghost. No, it was as if Twilight was seeing a ghost, right now, right in front of her. Could she see Surprise’s friends?
“Uh... sorry?” Surprise said uncertainly, “You didn’t hit your head did you?” He gasped, “Oh no, you did! Now I—”
“I’m fine!” Twilight barked loudly. She looked around frantically a moment, before saying more evenly with an unsteady smile, “I’m... fine. So you’re... Surprise, huh?”
“Yup, and this is Madame Fire,” Surprise said, gesturing to the air to his right. “She was really curious about you, because you looked important, and kinda familiar.”
“Madame... Fire?” Twilight asked weakly.
“Yep, and Captain Clipper,” Surprise said seriously, “He thinks you’re important, and it’s not even pie related!”
“Pie?” Twilight squeaked.
“Jeez, she’s even less talkative than Slowpoke,” Surprise said critically to thin air on his left. “Why do you ponies all think she’s so special?”
“Ponies?” Twilight barely audiblated.
“What about ponies?” Surprise replied abruptly, blushing heavily like a cat with a canary, “I mean people, come on, because ponies haha who ever heard of talking pony people eheheh...”
“Don’t you have television privileges?” Dinky asked Surprise thoughtfully.
“Yeah,” he said distractedly, “And boy those talking pony people have been all over the news lately oh my GOSH it’s true!” his purple eyes went wide, “It was true all along! Captain Clipper, you’re a pony!” Smiling from ear to ear, he then wrapped Captain Clipper up in a bear hug. Which is to say, Surprise wrapped his arms around empty air and went hurtling forward, face-first on the ground.
“I’m... okay,” he coughed unconvincingly.
“Alright, what are you all doing in here making such a racket?” a woman in a nurse’s uniform said, striding in the room, “The presentation doesn’t start until the end of day hour. You’re not giving the miss Twilight here any trouble, are ya?”
“No trouble!” Twilight declared, with a tight lipped smile, “They were just... helping me set up. No problems here, whatsoever!”
“You’re not touchin’ any of the equipment, are ya?” the minder said, giving Surprise the evil eye. “An’ not any of your friends neither?”
“Please, my friends can’t touch anything,” Surprise said casually, waving a dismissive hand, “I said they were ponies, not that they were alive. ”
“Po—oh lordy, not this again,” the minder said with disgust, “Didn’t you finally agree that your old friends were human? I hope we don’t have to up your medication again.”
“That won’t be necessary,” Twilight stated loudly, “I was just talking with him about what he used to believe, and he’s much better now, with no need for anything like additional medication or anything additional.”
The minder was eyeing Twilight now, saying, “Listen miss, I know what you’re thinking, but these are very sick kids here.”
“I’m not sick,” Dinky declared offended, “I’m not even supposed to be here! And Surprise sees dead people, so what? Neither of us are going to kill ourselves anymore, and both of us are gonna—live.”
“Both of us are gonna live,” he repeated in surprise. It was easier to say that than... any of the other dozens of assurances he’d given counselors since coming here, about himself alone. Dinky was going to live, because... someone wanted him to.
Diamond just got mad at him for dying. The city sent him from the orphanage to here to help him, so he wouldn’t kill himself. Apple Bloom tried to save him, to talk him out of... jumping. Everyone seemed to want to stop Dinky from dying, but Surprise was the first person Dinky could remember who wanted Dinky to live. Actually really wanted him to live. They were going to live.
“Everybody out!” the flustered minder shouted, herding Surprise and Dinky out of the room, “Leave the lady girl alone, the presentation’s in an hour, an’ stop wandering off out of sight!”
The presentation went... poorly. It started out well enough, as far as Dinky could tell. It wasn’t anything Twilight hadn’t already personally told Dinky, though. A few of the patients made a fuss, but the minders were close by to remove anyone who started acting out, or freaking out. Unfortunately, they weren’t perfect at doing so, and they certainly weren’t minding the presenter.
“One final note,” Twilight had said at the end, “As I explained, I know all this because I come from a parallel universe to your own, where you all have counterparts who are already naturally ponies. Since I know many ponies from my own world, I can identify many of you here by your resemblance to them, and give you some idea of what pony you might become. I can’t promise I’ll know any of you. I don’t know everyone in the world after all, but I’ll be happy to tell whomever I can what kind of pony you’re going to turn out to be. Surprise here, for instance,” she gestured at Surprise, “Is a pegasus pony in my world, an adult mare, and a very strong flyer. If anyone else is interested, I’ll call your names out, and you can talk to me after the presen...tation...”
Twilight trailed off, staring above Dinky’s head. Then she shouted in increasing agitation, “Never mind. Presentation over. This presentation is over!” grabbing her easel with a clatter, hooking an arm in her bag, and striding hastily towards the door.
That was when some lady in the back started screaming, “No! Don’t go! Come back!” and lunged for Twilight. She was quickly wrestled to the floor as other patients scrambled out of the way and chairs went toppling around the floor.
“This presentation is over!” Twilight repeated in a frightened tone, staring at the lady who kept fighting the minders, screaming out for her while one of them fumbled for a sedative. Twilight staggered out of the room then and slammed the door behind her. And now other people were starting to panic because of the berserk lady, various cries of confusion and alarm as everyone lost their wits. It was chaos.
Dinky wanted to run out the door too, but Surprise grabbed him by the arm and dragged him into the crowd, shoving him face to face with a screaming woman he had never even talked to before. Dinky had an idea what Surprise wanted him to do, so he just shouted, “Calm down! What’s wrong?”
“They’re coming for us!” the dark grey lady shouted with unfocused pupils, “She was one of them, she’s going to get us all they’re going to get us all!”
Us...? “We’ll stop them!” Dinky lied as firmly as he could, “They won’t hurt you because we won’t let them do anything to you! She can’t do anything, you’re safe now. You’re safe with us.”
“You can’t stop them,” she replied shrilly, but at least focusing on Dinky, “You’re just a kid! Soon as they take one look into your eyes—”
“So don’t let them!” Dinky replied angrily, “Cover your eyes, calm down. They can’t get you if they can’t see you. Come on, cover your eyes, hurry!”
For some reason the lady did, covering her eyes and sobbing in fear. At least she wouldn’t be triggered by the chaos around them that way, but she seemed truly terrified! You weren’t supposed to touch the other patients, but it just... seemed like she was most frightened about being alone. So he gave her a cautious hug. She didn’t stiffen, which was a good sign, and he kept saying, “It’s okay, we’re gonna get them, you’re safe. It’s okay.”
The uh... minder was looking down at them cooly, from where they were sitting there on the floor. Dinky glanced up briefly and said to the huddled lady, “Okay now, a friend of mine is going to help you up. I know he looks like a hospital employee, but he’s a friend, and he’s going to help you.”
The minder did, and she didn’t protest being led away, and the chaos in the room was beginning to die down anyway. Diamond Tiara’s mom was still piriouetting around the center, but it looked like her attendants were gonna catch her any second now. Otherwise, dutiful application of calming techniques and sedatives had returned the place to its artificial and careful sense of serenity.
Twilight Sparkle utterly bungled everything. She was basically totally aware now, that someone like her coming to the asylum was a terrible idea, and she should have never done it. She thought nothing could be worse than seeing Surprise, and knowing that every time he talked about dead ponies, he was telling the truth.
But Surprise had been easy to deal with. He was so well adjusted given what Twilight read about him in that journal, and Twilight had never been close to Surprise in her own world. Twilight only knew of the pony in Rainbow Dash’s (her Rainbow Dash’s) curiously exhaustive knowledge of Wonderbolt facts. Twilight had only really seen Surprise in passing at certain perfunctory gatherings.
So, in witnessing Surprise still suffering from the horrible... loss of her entire team, even after all this time... it was terrible, but Twilight could deal with it. It didn’t make her completely lose her cool and freak out. The day had been going well. She got to look at the letters, and figured out their secret message. She got invaluable information that Sunset Shimmer would be eager to learn. Twilight comported herself relatively professionally for the course of her presentation, but then...
“Surprise here, for instance, is a pegasus pony in my world, an adult, and a very strong flyer,” Twilight Sparkle concluded, scanning the crowd for any other faces she might recognize, however humanized they may be. “If anyone else is interested, I’ll call your names out, and you can talk to me after the presen...tation...”
Twilight then noticed a lady in the back staring at her intently. The resident outfit did not conceal the lady’s eggshell white skin tone. The flat stripes of purple and white in her hair were very distinctive, and one could not mistake the color of her piercing blue eyes.
Mom...?
Oh yeah, Twilight... definitely could have handled that better. It wasn’t her mother, of course, and that made it even worse. What was Twilight going to tell her, that her daughter was (at best) trapped in an unknown location in an enchanted sleep? Twilight still hadn’t finished going through that awful journal, so she didn’t know the ultimate fate of the princesses... Celestia and Luna were accounted for of course, but of the other Twilight, only a dream remained, and of Sunset’s counterpart, there was no sign at all.
It was so hard for Twilight to read through that journal. It was so hard seeing people she knew as ponies, and having an idea of what they went through. It was so hard not seeing the ponies, not seeing so many missing ponies who should have been with their friends and by their side. There was no Shining Armor in the police force. No Night Light had appeared in any form around the city. Twilight had thought her family was just... gone, and then she ran into her mother, all alone at an insane asylum.
Twilight could understand why she was in there.
And the worst part about it was, Twilight Velvet didn’t remember her. Her mother’s mind was so... distorted? Erased? It was hard to say. But all that was left of her mother’s deep love for them all was this confused, paralyzed wanting for something she didn’t know, a desire that had never seemed more attainable than when the doppleganger of her daughter mistakenly stumbled into her life. The best Twilight could have told this Twilight Velvet was that she had a daughter, who resembled Twilight, and that they were searching for her, but had not yet found her.
She... wasn’t sure if it was healthy for Velvet to know that.
Mar 27, 1395
I think Applejack might be the element of Honesty! She’s certainly the most honest pony I know. I could wager that she can tell a lie, even if she didn’t know it. The world tree crystal reacted to her, so she must be something! But it didn’t transsubstantiate. I can’t figure out if it needs to be activated somehow, or if she needs to be especially honest, or what.
I wonder how many Element bearers could be hiding under my nose? I suspect Pinkie Pie might be Kindness, because with all she’s been through, she still smiles for other ponies, and only wishes well of us all. Sometimes I wish I could help her forget what happened in Nickerlite. I wonder what kind of pony she would be, if it wasn’t tragedy that brought us together? I’m thinking Twilight for Loyalty, for all she does for everypony under her rule, though I don’t know if a princess can wield them. Clover’s notes just say they give ponies the power without end, and combined they would be unstoppable. If only she had found them. It sure is a puzzle! Maybe that’s what the sixth Element is. Mystery!
Maybe I’m the Element of Laughter hahaPrincess Shimmer
“So, what do you wanna do?”
“Ah dunno, what do you wanna do?”
“...well don’t look at me. I’m just the dream princess.”
Sweetie Belle was off with something on her own, while Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and the dream princess found themselves kicking it in the sun on a grassy meadow underneath some sort of fanciful cloud city. Apple Bloom was on her back staring up at nothing, trying to understand how sleeping could feel so boring. Scootaloo was on her belly, her wings relaxed to her sides. And the dream princess, Twilight Sparkle was laying on her side like a horse might, looking torn between contentment and nervousness as she looked between the two fillies.
“You wanna go swimming somewhere?” Scootaloo asked thoughtfully.
“Not really,” Apple Bloom shrugged. “You two could go flying, if you wanna,”
“Hey, why don’t you come fly with us?” Scootaloo suggested brightly.
Apple Bloom lifted her head and raised an eyebrow, saying, “You remember I ain’t got no wings, right?”
“Apple Bloom, did you forget already?” Scootaloo said in a chiding tone. “This is a dream! ”
“Oh right!” Apple Bloom realized. “Yeah, let’s all go flyin’ then! You two use your wings, and I’ll just uh, dream mahself up there or however it works. Unless ah could dream that I was a pegasus?”
“I’m fairly sure that is a thing you can do, maybe, probably,” the princess responded uncertainly, “But maybe you should just... fly.”
“Well you could just... fly I guess?” Scootaloo said disappointedly. “But now I wanna see you as a pegasus! Go ahead, try it Apple Bloom!”
“I don’t know if this is such a good idea,” the princess cautioned. “Why shouldn’t Apple Bloom be happy with what she is?”
“It’s just for fun, princess!” Scootaloo protested to the purple regent. “Why would we even have dreams, if we can’t do cool stuff in them?”
“Why are you asking me? I don’t know! I don’t remember anything!” the princess said, backing up in agitation, to which Scootaloo groaned,
“It was a rhetorical question.”
“Ah ain’t havin’ any luck, y’all,” Apple Bloom sighed, looking at her bare yellow back. “What would wings even feel like? Ah only got four legs!”
“Well, just use me as an example!” Scootaloo suggested. “I had plenty of time to figure out what wings feel like. They’re like... construction cranes on your sides, with feathers on them.”
“Hmn...” Apple Bloom murmured, concentrating on Scootaloo. Wings like that were... weird, but they sort of made sense, in a Scootaloo sort of way. Construction cranes on your sides? Apple Bloom imagined how Scootaloo would imagine those cranes moving around, and then pulled her focus back to Scootaloo, and something slid into place in her head.
“Woah!” she said, wobbling on her hooves. “I think I... did it?”
Scootaloo was staring at her, smiling uncomfortably though, saying, “Maaaybe you overdid it, a bit.”
“Why? What did—” Scootaloo caught a look at her raised hoof, as pumpkin orange as Scootaloo’s.
“This is fascinating!” the princess, said to an increasingly alarmed Scootaloo, next to a rather weirded out looking Scootaloo. “You mimicked a dream construct, who was a dreamer!”
“How do ah turn it off?!” Scootaloo said querulously, and even her voice sounded like Scootaloo’s, just... more farmy. She turned around on her hooves trying to figure out how weird she felt she—she could feel the wings! They were all coming out of her back and she couldn’t stop them from sticking out and moving!
“Um, um, um,” Scootaloo said desperately, searching around on the forest floor. She picked up an apple she found and kicked it straight at Scootaloo. It filled Scootaloo ’s vision before smacking her in the forehead and knocking her backwards, to land on her back with a whump.
“Good thinking, Scootaloo!” the princess cheered, as Apple Bloom lifted her head groggily, trying not to lose the dream just out of reflex.
“I can’t believe that worked,” Scootaloo said amazed, as Apple Bloom came to realize she was herself again. Yellow and red, with four, and only four limbs accounted for. Oh, five if you count the tail.
“That was too wild!” Apple Bloom whined, rolling to her feet again. Her beautifully familiar yellow hooves. “Thank ya Scootaloo,” she said in her old, familiar voice. “How did y’figure that would work?”
“I uh... I guessed that it had to be my brain doing it, so I had to think you were Apple Bloom again,” Scootaloo offered hesitantly, “So I found an apple, and made you an Apple again.”
Apple Bloom blinked. Then she burst out laughing. It was just so absurd. She laughed until she awoke, chuckling even as she roused in the middle of the night. What even were dreams?
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Found this in my tracking list. just finished the first chapter. I have never read so many words I cared so little about.
Dropping this. you're a good writer, but this isn't...interesting.
8242099
You think you've got it bad? I have to write this thing!
Just the first chapter isn't enough though. At least skim until the 3rd chapter. That'll give you a good idea of the story, and you can drop it then. I'd say read to chapter 5, but eh... that's too much to bother reading, if you don't like it.
I keep telling myself I'll figure out how to just delete that first chapter... it sets up a lot of stuff though. The golden apple, the CMC, their fourth friend, the disgruntlement towards school, Ms. Berry's "history" class... I dunno how to make that sort of setup anything other than boring.
You've cheated by having an mostly-female cast.
I wonder if the time loop was the initial cause of time breaking before it had started to loop. Self-causing continuity breaks are fun!
8242099
The first chapter, as ferret says, is far more about setup than anything else. The style of most of the story is quite different.
I think of the first act as being a transformation fic in kinda the same way as Five Score but with everyone transforming into themselves, while the rest so far is a bit of a mystery fic and a question of how to handle a city that seems to be going 100% pony.
8244107
"Welcome!"
Thanks!
"Yes, I still can't count to four."
:)
"And I know EQG is terrible but that's what was working, so I just kept going. Those of us who write deconstruction always have a hard time, because the only ones who would enjoy it are the ones who don't like the subject material..."
Hm, well, I wouldn't say that; I think one can enjoy both something and a deconstruction of that something (though in some cases, it might need to be done in that order). In this case, though... well, I haven't actually seen any of the Equestria Girls movies, but I don't feel a particular drive to either, yeah. I don't have an automatic aversion to stories with humans in them (though there are, of course, quite a few bad ones), but my secondhand experience with Equestria Girls has just made it seem... off, I guess? With good bits, but also numerous problems. Not sure, particularly since my mind is currently crowded with your portrayal here.
Anyway, glad I finally got around to giving this a try. So far, the worst experiences I've had with this have been when I've had to stop reading. :D
8244315
True, but it's a rare reader who can manage that. Even I've fallen prey to the siren call of butthurt.
Well, I do, if only for the fact that stories without humans were vanishingly rare until FiM started up. But my real problem with EQG is not that they're human. It's that they're high schoolers. They took a lovely, rich fantasy setting, and reduced it to high school drama and totally cool dudes!
8244436
"True, but it's a rare reader who can manage that. Even I've fallen prey to the siren call of butthurt."
I must admit, I'm not having much luck bringing any particular examples to mind at the moment.
"Well, I do, if only for the fact that stories without humans were vanishingly rare until FiM started up."
Ah, so you feel the opportunity cost is quite significant? I suppose I can see that, but, well, look at Returning Home; some stories have to have a human in there somewhere to work. Perhaps I'm not understanding you?
"But my real problem with EQG is not that they're human. It's that they're high schoolers. They took a lovely, rich fantasy setting, and reduced it to high school drama and totally cool dudes!
"
Ah, yes. That. Yes, having been doing something else for a bit, my mind is now less on your story here, in which you have, so far in my reading, been in my opinion quite making it work, and more on the concept in general, which... yeah. Can be used for good things! See this story. But I'd expect pretty much all of those to involve the contrast, the exile's or exiles' emotions on their situation(s), that sort of thing (As an aside, discussing the EQG exiles seems to have a bit of a tendency to set off the Myst III main theme in my head.). Just taking it straight... yeah. What's the point of the pony connection, then? It's just high school drama with weird names and skin colors. Maybe it's good high school drama, I don't know, but it seems like it would probably be better if the pony connection was reduced so it could be more its own thing.
...Not sure if I'm being entirely clear here, sorry. I think I'm a bit hampered by having only second and third hand exposure to the actual films, cluttered up in my head with various stories that use bits and pieces from them in one way or another.
Also, I'm low on time, and I'm hoping to get another chapter of this read before bed. :)
8244519
Opportunity cost? More like a surplus supply that exceeds demand, I think? I'm not good at economics.
It's a red flag, not a deal breaker. In fact my favorite stories have humans in them, but they tend to get buried beneath the mountains of stories that have only humans in them. Besides, can't I have at least one story published here with humans in it? I think that's reasonable.
Yeah I don't... I don't even know how this story happened. It's like the opposite of anything I'd ever write. Well except the part about turning people into ponies.
My theory is that wealthy people think so little of us that they believe we have crippled imaginations, and they have to spoon feed us familiar, easy to imagine concepts like high school. "They're too stupid to appreciate Ghostbusters. Let's sell them Ghostbusters... plus high school!"
8244537
"Opportunity cost? More like a surplus supply that exceeds demand, I think? I'm not good at economics."
Hm, basically, what harm do you perceive the human stories doing that produces an aversion to them?
"It's a red flag, not a deal breaker. In fact my favorite stories have humans in them, but they tend to get buried beneath the mountains of stories that have only humans in them. Besides, can't I have at least one story published here with humans in it? I think that's reasonable."
I think I understand? Still not sure, though, I'm afraid. We might be interpreting "aversion" differently?
"Yeah I don't... I don't even know how this story happened. It's like the opposite of anything I'd ever write. Well except the part about turning people into ponies."
:)
"My theory is that wealthy people think so little of us that they believe we have crippled imaginations, and they have to spoon feed us familiar, easy to imagine concepts like high school. "They're too stupid to appreciate Ghostbusters. Let's sell them Ghostbusters... plus high school!""
Well, I don't think it's that bad. After all, the show's still going, so clearly they only think that about some of their audience.
(...Though, really, "familiar and easy to imagine" kind of falls down for me somewhat with Equestria girls, because they're supposed to be pretty much modern American (I think) humans... in a world with strange skin colors and names. What's the culture behind those names? What's the history? What effect have those skin colors had on history? I mean, good grief, what is racism like in that universe? Does it not exist? That's a major change. Is it based on other traits? How are the colors determined by heredity, if at all? Do the pigments have any special properties? Do people believe they do, whether they do or not? Is this only a setting like modern America on a highly superficial level? How old is the country? How long have they been an industrial civilization? Is a lot of their technology imported? Are they even a democracy, or is there a portrait of Tsar Sombra IV or something hanging in city hall? Hey, buffalo are a different species from ponies; were the native Americans not human? Were there no native Americans? Was this even a colony? How does any of that change things? Yet other animals are very similar to our world! What changed in the evolution of humans? What other species are different? How was early human development affected by being varied and often bright colors? Was that a runaway sexual selection trait? What started the snowball? How did increased predation rates change things? Alternatively, how did humans being stronger, tougher, and/or smarter enough to not have increased predation rates change things? Oh, and is the coloring unique to humans from one area of the world? Are there regional variations? If our world's humans had enough genetic flexibility to change colors to better suit their environments as they spread over the planet, surely these do.
And, of course, what about the connections to Equestria? Do the above questions not matter, because the world doesn't even fully exist? Is it a simulation filled mostly with philosophical zombies and surrounded by invisible walls? If so, does it still have an internally consistent history, or is it an obvious sham to an outsider than only holds together because everyone else is programmed not to question it? Is it all a massive coincidence?
EQG isn't familiar and easy to imagine! It is bursting with implied but unanswered questions going all the way to the fundamental nature of their reality! We are presented with a situation similar to our reality but with multiple observations incompatible with it, which throws so many other things into doubt while still creating some expectation of familiarity and spurring thought into how else that expectation might be incorrect. The people there do not appear to be biologically modern humans (Modern humans come in a variety of colors, certainly, but not, to my knowledge, blue, green, and purple. I suppose that they could all be the result of a widespread fashion for body paint and complex hair dying, but really, that widespread? Followed by pretty much everyone from the jocks to the adults running the school to the elderly? Might clear up the biology issue and thus a lot of historical issues, but we're still not in modern American culture.), yet we're expected to treat them as if they are. From their names, they do not appear to be culturally modern Americans, yet we seem to be expected to assume that that culture prevails.)
(Oh, one thing I like so far is your explanation of the dress code at the school. It strikes me as a rather... um... flawed policy, but far from unbelievable for a modern American high school. And it explains the outfits.)
...Aaaaaanyway, ah, sorry about the little rant there. I'm kind of tired, having been up too late last night reading this, and tonight I've... again stayed up too late reading this. Might well have found something else if it wasn't this, but, well. Even if I wasn't a bit incoherent, I really ought to be getting to bed.
8244713
I suppose it's... taking up more resources, if you consider creativity and writing rate as "resources?" Basically I like something unpopular, so it's frustratingly hard to find at times.
Oh, I didn't mean all wealthy people. Just that there will always be tons of funding for "let's do the same thing except high school" as long as the investors continue to think that it makes more money in return. You can still have awesome stuff, you just can't not have EQG.
Apparently Mexicans are diamond dogs...
That's generally what happens when you try to crowbar your pop culture into an unfitting setting.
Ha, yeah I kinda liked that too. I'm pretty sure that it was commonplace to require girls to wear skirts in school around the 1950's or earlier, though the requirement was that they be knee length.
You realize that if you only read 1 chapter a week, it lasts longer, right?
8245484
"I suppose it's... taking up more resources, if you consider creativity and writing rate as "resources?" Basically I like something unpopular, so it's frustratingly hard to find at times."
Hm. Unless you're just talking about the difficulty of sorting through the things you don't like, it sounds like that would be opportunity cost. The opportunity cost of something is basically what else could be done with the resources used for it instead.
"Oh, I didn't mean all wealthy people. Just that there will always be tons of funding for "let's do the same thing except high school" as long as the investors continue to think that it makes more money in return. You can still have awesome stuff, you just can't not have EQG."
Ah, right.
"Apparently Mexicans are diamond dogs..."
…Huh. I mean… I have admittedly never been to Mexico, but I'm pretty sure that it's not a nation of avid tunnelers?
"That's generally what happens when you try to crowbar your pop culture into an unfitting setting."
Nice way of summing up the action.
"Ha, yeah I kinda liked that too. I'm pretty sure that it was commonplace to require girls to wear skirts in school around the 1950's or earlier, though the requirement was that they be knee length."
I do wonder who came of with the mandate that all female high school upperclassmen must wear short skirts and giant boots.
"You realize that if you only read 1 chapter a week, it lasts longer, right?
"
It would, yes. :)
8256772
"A continuity fault? Me? Don't you know I'm impervious to ever making a mistake?
It's not like this 480,000 word story is difficult to search through. I'm sure that there are no errors in the massive reordering of whole scenes, or leftover fragments from earlier drafts, because this is me we're talking abour."
Oh, yes, of course; how silly of me. :)
(Also, um... "about"? :))
"
"
I know! Just, in retrospect, what would one of the leading hypotheses be if we were observing some small herbivores that were very brightly colored? It's complicated a bit by their magical abilities, but many of their potential predators also have magical abilities. I even remember, now, reading an old book (The Gentle Giants of Ganymede, I think it was, though it might have been the one before that in the... duology? It's been a while.) in which some humans exploring a derelict spaceship found a children's area with very brightly colored animals painted on the walls. They concluded that the coloration must be fictional, but, nope, found out later in the story that the coloration was true to life and that those animals were extremely poisonous (at least to the potential predators on their home planet). Not quite the same scenario, since, as I recall, the mutation giving the toxicity had occurred quite early, and with a bit of luck added in, there were no land predators at all on the planet, but still.
This sort of thing is one of the reasons I particularly like your stories. :)
8256819
Well my hypothesis would be that they use bright plumage to attract a mate, because there really are small, brightly colored herbivorous birds living in rainforests. But poisonous defenses is a close second!
Huh, neat. I never read a story like that, but it sounds like the sort of thing i was aiming at.
I strive to provide only the highest quality in weirdo head-canons, fridge brilliance and hindsight hilarity.
8256876
"Well my hypothesis would be that they use bright plumage to attract a mate, because there really are small, brightly colored herbivorous birds living in rainforests. But poisonous defenses is a close second!"
Oh, aye, there could be multiple possible reasons, mate attraction/sexual selection probably at least one of the other most prominent ones.
(I'm still somewhat boggling that this never occurred to me.)
"Huh, neat. I never read a story like that, but it sounds like the sort of thing i was aiming at."
Let's see... Ah, this is the series, I believe. And apparently the first book was written on a bet.
"I strive to provide only the highest quality in weirdo head-canons, fridge brilliance and hindsight hilarity.
"
I think it's working. :)
8276278
You're welcome. :)
8277085
That chapter used to come after this one, I think. Or, parts of it at least. Hm..."
"No, I'm pretty sure you found a total continuity failure.
Ah. Um, sorry, then. (For it being there, not finding it.)
And I wouldn't say total...
"One reason I moved it, if I recall. I hate title drops."
Ah. :)
...Any particular reason you didn't just change the title?
8277886
It's not a good title?
Anyway thanks for finding that. Hopefully someone will come across the story who hasn't read it yet, and it'll help them.
8277931
"
"It's not a good title?
Oh, no, no, it is! Don't be sad, Fluttershy!
...Ah, ahem.
Anyway, um, yes, I think it's a fine title.
Just seemed a bit to me like sending someone the wrong address, realizing it, and, instead of sending a correction, moving, so I was wondering if there was a particular reason you did it that way (Really liking the title counts. :)).
"Anyway thanks for finding that. Hopefully someone will come across the story who hasn't read it yet, and it'll help them."
You're welcome!
8278021
What seems like moving?
Ugh, those chapters are a mess... Dreamseekers is barely even about dreaming anymore. It all got messed up because I forgot about Christmas when writing it the first time, and about how Scootaloo liked video games. And I can't take that boring stuff about Dinky and put it in Ponylike Creatures, because it has nothing to do with ponies!
8278249
"What seems like moving?"
Seeing that you have an undesired title drop and deciding to move the entire section of text containing the title drop rather than changing the title.
"Ugh, those chapters are a mess... Dreamseekers is barely even about dreaming anymore. It all got messed up because I forgot about Christmas when writing it the first time, and about how Scootaloo liked video games."
Sorry; not sure what to do there.
"And I can't take that boring stuff about Dinky and put it in Ponylike Creatures, because it has nothing to do with ponies!"
...Ah... Well, you know, he is... purple. And as related to ponies as any other strange counterpart "human" of the strange world of Canterlot. And his current troubles are caused by some other humans turning into ponies...
8278441
How about cut out all the scenes into individual files, then shuffle them around like jigsaw puzzle pieces, then stitch them together until everything makes sense? It'll only take all day! What could possibly go wrong?
that's racist
As much as I wish that were the case, Sunset knows differently...
8278566
"
"How about cut out all the scenes into individual files, then shuffle them around like jigsaw puzzle pieces, then stitch them together until everything makes sense? It'll only take all day! What could possibly go wrong?
:D
"that's racist"
...And now I'm wondering again about the concept of race in the Equestria Girls universe...
"As much as I wish that were the case, Sunset knows differently..."
Well, gee, that's not teasing at all, is it? :)
8278671
"He's chopping firewood, and then the tree after the new year."
Is the tree after the new year not mentioned now, or moved to a later chapter?
"The exact thing being chopped isn't important, so I went with whatever remained in continuity. Except then it never got changed, because I must have the wrong memories again."
Ah, sorry.
"There was a lot of verdant stuff that got moved... elsewhere in the story."
:)
"Telling Twi about Dinkydrama"
Eh? When does that happen?
Apart from that, I, hm, think the reorganization works. Hope I'm not forgetting something myself.
8280779
Do you think I have too good of a memory? Maybe I should tune down my rememberyness just a *bit*.
8283736
...Huh. Well, that's a thing.
8286499
"Curse you emacs, and your ambiguous state machine!"
:)
"Nope, that was definitely poise this time."
Ah, well, can't be right all the time.
"Thank you!"
You're welcome!
8290148
"
"You are the first person to notice that explanation I thought up for Spike!
Really? Huh.
"Oh, that's a good point, actually. I may have to adjust my figures. You just proved that there's even less of a chance of males being born!
"
Ah. Sorry? :)
"If i recall, the X chromosome actually has a lot of essential non-sex-related DNA on it, and only a teeny bit of it is turned on by the Y chromosome, or not-turned-on by a paired X chromosome (which mostly goes dormant). So to put it mildly, a mammal without at least one X chromosome will lack the genes needed even to survive gestation. Same goes for the Z chromosome in ZW systems."
Doesn't necessarily work the same way for ponies, but it could.
"Taking out the option of YY and WW showing up"
Well, WW wouldn't show up anyway, as far as I can tell; since males are XYZZ and females are XXZW, XYZW, or XXZZ, no male+female pair will have more than one W even available to pick.
"actually makes guys only born 2 out of 7 times (22%), rather than 4 out of 12 (25%)."
...Not sure where you're getting those raw numbers, off the top of my head, but 4/12 is 1/3, not 1/4, and my calculator informs me that 2/7 is about 0.2857, no 0.22.
"Gene pools. I'm talking about gene pools, not organisms. Every gene pool for every mammalian species has 1 chromosome in it that's an X, and 1 that's a Y, even if they're different X/Y chromosomes in another species' pool"
Ah, so only one pattern for an X and one pattern for a Y, but variable numbers of copies of those patterns?
"and the only reason for this is pointless inertia, not because it increases survivability"
To misquote Peter Watts (because by the time I caught the misquote it had gotten embedded in my memory, and I think it sounds a bit better), evolution is the survival of the least inadequate.
"Oh. Uh... I forgot to count Red Jim.
"
Sorry. :)
"Eh, probably. I don't understand statistics very well."
Pretty sure it ought to be the total sample size (10 now, yes?).
"Did you know it's a completely unanswered question, how to estimate the probability of something happening, given you know someone else's estimation, and your own measurement of how close their estimations have come in the past?"
...Huh. I didn't, no.
Hm. At first it seemed like a simple multiplication of probabilities would do it, but say they gave a very small chance of something happening, and there was a very small chance they were right. Then a simple multiplication gives an even smaller chance, but if they said it probably wouldn't happen and were probably wrong, one would expect it would be more likely to happen. And that's just a simple attempt to estimate... huh.
"A stable population will have more youths than adults, with an exponential decay as more and more people reach the end of their lives for one reason or another. Compare that with dying populations, where the adults outnumber the children since kids die easier, or with baby booms, which bulge their way down the graph from young to old, as those of us unlucky enough to be born in the wake of the baby boomers live our whole lives marginalized as the world constantly caters to an older demographic due to a massive majority"
If it starts decaying immediately, though, rather than having a flatter section, doesn't that imply significant infant and child mortality?
"but I'm not bitter."
Sorry.
8305732
"Are you insinuating something about the mayor's giant rainbow clown wig?"
...So possibly the favor from Jim was already called in. :)
"Anyway thanks for typoes, and for reading.
"
You're quite welcome! Thanks for writing. :)
8308077
"Thanks..."
You're welcome, and sorry.
(Not sure if I'm misinterpreting that ellipsis.)
"It's a cliffhanger in the same sense as Maud Pie in Ghastly Gorge, or the CMC going mountain climbing in season 1.
"
Eh? Not sure I'm following you. In one direction, I don't recall any literal cliffs here, and in the other, I'm pretty sure that the show has not yet had a crazy Twilight Sparkle potentially stealing ponies' souls. :)
8308112
It's a huge fakeout.
8309123
Ah. :D
8309130
Ah, looks good; thanks, and you're welcome. :)
I hadn't been here in awhile. I wonder what made so many mares men. I'm still wondering what happened. Did virtually their entire population of stallions die off or get forgotten? Sounds to me like an out of the frying pan, into the fire situation. Measure taken to avoid a situation, then having it immediately (not so immediate) come undone. And they are back to square one. It doesn't sound like many of them managed to get in. I still think most of the real ones are like Macintosh and were at or near the city limits at the time.
Madness isn't something I want anyone to endure. Delusions are their own form of hell in and of their own right. Much better to live in the real world. I for one am wondering just how mad they actually are. Or if they are getting glimpses of RL the rest sorely lack, but they being the majority are living in this fantasy world the poor patients have temporarily escaped from. Back to reality. At last.
Whatever is going on, it sounds like it would drive mare kind to extinction, and almost did. Is whatever did so still at large, or has it whittled itself away? Was it sentient, and self regulating, or of the repopulating type, or did it fall into disrepair, fade away? Like a machine left to its own devices, yet it cannot use polish, wax, nor oil independently, or one that cannot think for itself. Or is it more like one that is sentient, has its own limbs, and can thus make repairs on itself, and thus function totally without bio beings? Or are ponies like toons, and they are about to be bathed in bleach?
For every Jacob, there are a dozen Alex-es, and dozens of Chances. And dozens and dozens of children for each adult. Sounds to me there's no way to keep this population stable under any circumstances. Even though stable populations are ideal almost always. Favored male births, favored less than three children via couple. I do not envy anyone who has ever conceived. Doing that certainly does not make you rich, and could never make me wealthy. Unless of course pregnancies are scarce, and demand for offspring is high. Then of course, there's the matter that they all permanently cheated death, and none of it matters at all. Effectively being bitten by the same bug Alex and Jacob did, then continuing to cheat death time after time. That's even worse. It means overpopulation is inevitable should they remain fertile regardless of how often they breed. Does longevity, barring immortality compensate for the demographic? Living for centuries on average rather than decades, therefore giving them all the time they need? Yet more simultaneous pregnancies means not needing to have one year by year to make the same amount, yet it also means numbers can explode faster to the detriment of all else. (Boy, do I get deep into this).
8316186
Were you still wondering that, after it was explained that with ponies, 3 mares are born for every stallion?
I think the real question is, can I get through this stupid scene I'm working on here at faster than a snail's pace.
8318336
No. Even considering, it's still a rather large gap. You have even suggested yourself it's even bigger than originally anticipated. I was wondering what made so many mares so man prone, that is what I was curious about. Totally different situation altogether. Did the Equestrians lose so many of their existing ones, who were sparse enough, they needed to compensate? At this point, it's clear they are going back to reality after centuries, possibly millennia of living in a fantasy world, possibly a delusion. Reality is revealing countless mares got stuck men. I would imagine that implies very few stallions got in here to begin with. And there are way more foals than needed, suggesting it was imperative to get as many mares and foals to safety as possible, mature guys being an afterthought. And the illusion is compensating their losses. Overcompensating, maybe?
It sounds to me Surprise is aware on some level that he is a chick. All the loonies seem to be more aware of reality as it actually is than the allegedly sane. Whatever awaits, it seems some artificiality is responsible, to blame for the disappearance of many ponies, who weren't even remembered. It seems to me all of them, Including SS and TS were made to forget. Did they impose this on themselves, or did it happen as a result of coming here, or conjuring this illusion, or being in contact with those toon equine erasing nightmares?
I am not at all impatient with you. Go at your own pace, save writer's block. I presume this not to be the case. You want slow? I'll give you slow. I can well supplement it, as I am the slowness factory. Take forever to churn out even semi decent content.
8321416
"She corrected herself just a little earlier."
Then she makes it again here, though (though, looking at your reply, I think I may also have misread that bit as being Apple Bloom). Eh, probably fine anyway, though.
"Maaaaybe? I'll take a look. ...I don't think so? Applejack just had that meeting with the principal where she kept calling her princess, and then she drove the fillies and Granny Smith home, and then she said that line, all in this chapter as a matter of fact."
Yes. That's the point: it just now happened, so why say it again?
Bob walked in the door. "Hello," said Bob, who'd just walked in the door.
It's not wrong, but it seems odd to me, and made me wonder what meaning there might be to it.
"I got tired of someone projecting their fantasy onto my story, about a population crash due to catastrophically low amounts of males like in that one Sliders episode, and was snarking about how silly it is to insist that equal gender ratios have to happen with colorful magic ponies, since it happened to randomly end up that way on Earth."
Ah, okay; sounds like I was failing to grasp the internal logic because there deliberately wasn't a lot of it.
"I'm sure if you asked the writers whether they were intentionally implying Pinkie Pie was in a polyamorous relationship with the Cakes, they would say it was a mistake, and probably that you are a mistake. But they'd say that whether it was a mistake or not, so I guess we'll never know..."
Ah. :)
8321416
At no point did I ever say that. I said the whole thing was highly misleading, that's what I said in clear, explicit terms. I furthermore claimed the theory does not follow the facts as far as the tale is concerned. What's actually happening does not confirm the hypothesis, if you get what I mean.
I legitimately am curious what made so many mares so prone to that. What made the illusion work that way? How does it benefit mares to get stuck in men's bodies? Wouldn't it be just as easy to give them a woman's shape to begin with?
8335746
"Thanks for catching some tricky spots!"
You're welcome!
"I still have no idea why I wrote the word "Applejack" in there."
Eh, these things happen.
"Yeah, it's funny though. Of almost everyone who draws MLP unicorns "the correct" way with cloven hooves and a long, ropy tail, they draw all the other ponies as having horse hooves and horse tails. It's almost impossible to find a pegasus, or heaven forbid an earth pony drawn in the style of a classical unicorn. It just goes to show that "correct" is in the eye of the beholder, since they'd be just as weirded out and consider it "wrong" if someone drew an earth pony in that style, for no reason other than their arbitrary personal preference."
I do remember seeing one artist who had classical unicorns, "conventional pony" earth ponies, and pegasi with... I think coats of furlike feathers. Don't remember their name, though, I'm afraid.
8335775
There's more than one artist like that. What there aren't are artists who draw classical unicorns, and earth ponies that don't look like conventional horses, but match with the unicorns more.
8336812
"There's more than one artist like that."
Ah, interesting.
"What there aren't are artists who draw classical unicorns, and earth ponies that don't look like conventional horses, but match with the unicorns more."
Hm. I suppose it is a bit of a leap to make. Now I would like to see that, though.
8352862
Thanks for fixes! And yeah, I was waiting to get to this chapter forever.
8354695
You're welcome. And I can see why. :)
8359165
(Disclaimer: I am writing this while tired after getting back from Bronycon. Coherence is not guaranteed, but I need to wait for my hair to dry before going to bed and want to start getting the things that built up while I was gone taken care of.)
"I'm not sure if the "rest" in "rest assured" is rest like "sleeping," or rest like "everything else". "You can be rest assured" might have once been an way to say "you can be assured of the rest.""
Huh. Interesting.
"But more likely it's just "you can rest assured" and I threw a "be" in there because I'm an idiot."
Eh, we all make mistakes like that sometimes. :)
"You've figured it out! Diamond's therapist is the evil force behind it all!!
"
:D
"Huh, yeah that was kind of... oddly abrupt. Therapy places lock their office space, so the raving lunatics can't barge in and demand that the therapist "Auuuer ruh eeerue ruuue ruuu!" so they're just going to get Twilight from the waiting room."
Ah, thanks.
"Hey, her problems are real and serious, and not silly at all!
"
Well, they are causing her real distress, yes, however they may look from outside.
"It was nothing compared to the Noodle Incident!"
:)
"In the previous chapter's author's notes..."
Ah, thanks. Don't know how I missed that...
"Anyway thanks for help.
"
You're welcome!
8385497
"Yeah, strange error there... stuff was just missing."
I've seen that sort of thing before.
"Pfff well horses are summer breeders, so I think she's got some time yet."
Ah, okay; I was misremembering. :D
"I mostly gloss over that stuff though."
Ah. Bit surprised, given what the story's already covered.
8385876
What, that thing with DT and Dinky? That was all about angsting and self discovery and stuff. The actual acts went on totally behind the scenes except in Applejack's imagination...
8386043
"What, that thing with DT and Dinky? That was all about angsting and self discovery and stuff. The actual acts went on totally behind the scenes"
Oh, sure, I wasn't expecting the story to suddenly get explicit. I read "gloss over" as "not pay much attention to it in any aspect", not just "not include the explicit acts".
"except in Applejack's imagination..."
Wasn't what we got of that also pretty non-explicit? Though I suppose that that would still count as not being totally behind the scenes.
8397236
You're welcome. :)
8404146
"
"Oh come on now, would I lie to you?
Yes. :)
8405223
"Yeah, that wasn't very clear, so I'll just... wait no that doesn't work because of this, so I need to... wow that whole section is messed up."
Oh?
"Why were they even speculating on whether the time loop came down here or not?"
That speculation doesn't seem that unreasonable to me. Am I missing something?
""maps, pins, and Twilight covered in Spike." wait, what? Twilight was pinned up on the wall?
"
With Spike on top of her. Strong pins. :)
re the story:
Huh, neat; thanks.
[looks up more about Irene of Athens]
I'm not sure if having an empress instead of an emperor there would alone have been enough to tip the balance on male dominance in Europe, but it's an interesting idea.
"Anyway, thanks for corrections.
"
You're welcome. :)
8405407
Velcro dog!
Pff, no, but imagine if the Pope declared her the Emperor of Rome. The butthurt would have been glorious.
tbh, I fear that "rich men manipulating women into oppressing poor men" is way too effective for anything else to surpass it. You can't play a game if only one person is allowed to cheat at it. Patriarchy only weakens when the gap shrinks between the rich and the poor, because it's a scam that works, and people who play fair get screwed.
8406439
"Velcro dog!"
Oh, yes, that makes much more sense. :)
"Pff, no, but imagine if the Pope declared her the Emperor of Rome. The butthurt would have been glorious."
From the admittedly little I know of that period, aye. Unless that fizzled out quickly, I imagine it would have led to a pretty different world now.
"tbh, I fear that "rich men manipulating women into oppressing poor men" is way too effective for anything else to surpass it."
It does seem to be a pretty resilient system, at least.
"You can't play a game if only one person is allowed to cheat at it."
The casino industry would probably beg to differ there. And they're right! Just, you know, only one of the players (Guess which one!) is walking away with enough money to build a big fancy building and a few giant fountains in the middle of a desert.
"Patriarchy only weakens when the gap shrinks between the rich and the poor, because it's a scam that works, and people who play fair get screwed."
I'm skeptical of the "only weakens when" absolute, but then, I also am not really thinking of any really good counterexamples.