Dazzle glowered, her eyes framed by her orange eyebrows and yellowish skin like two jewels shining brightly amidst a smoldering fire. “So, it’s come to this then?”
Staring right back at her with magenta orbs of determination, Aria Blaze held her ground. “Don’t act surprised. You always knew this was coming.”
Adagio smirked. “I suppose I can’t say this is altogether unexpected.” Her smile dropped. “Where is he?” she asked in a serious tone.
Aria’s lips twitched ever so slightly. “Somewhere you’ll never get to on your own.”
Grimacing for a moment, Adagio slowly coaxed her smirk back onto her face. A smirk that let Aria know that Adagio was far from beaten. “Oh, really?” she purred. “Well, you’ll never get close enough to your target without my help.” Adagio licked her lips. “Not without paying a price.”
Aria glanced behind Adagio. “Oh, you bitch,” she growled.
Adagio’s smile grew. “An exchange then… Your hostage for mine.”
Aria clamped down on her teeth and sneered. “Fine…” she hissed out.
Adagio reached her right hand across her body and thrust it into the mess of curls behind her. “I just have one question for you…” Adagio produced a flat, rectangular box that read ‘Arkham Knight’ on it. “Have you even heard of headphones?!”
With a roll of her eyes, Aria took a few steps to get behind Adagio, placed a hand in Adagio’s hair, and removed a flat, square-shaped box labeled ‘Born in the U.S.A.’ “Have you?!” she countered as she stepped back in front of Adagio.
Adagio’s face crinkled as she attempted to reach behind her. She pursed her lips in annoyance as she realized she couldn’t reach the spot Aria had produced the CD from. Letting out a sigh, she slowly extended the game.
Aria followed suit and both women snatched their respective items from the other’s hands and clutched them to their chests protectively.
Aria shook her head. “I can’t believe you listen to such garbage music.”
Adagio rolled her eyes so hard her head bobbed along with the roll. “Right, because playing video games from a popular franchise makes you soooooo cool,” she said sarcastically.
“Hey! Leave Batman out of this!” Aria cried.
Adagio smirked. “Oh, you mean that overrated ‘superhero’ whose power is ‘being rich and moody’?” she intoned. Adagio shook her head. “I don’t even need to make fun of him when he hasn’t been in a good movie in almost a decade!”
“You shut your whore mouth!” Aria snapped. “He’s also a detective and really good at martial arts, too! And… and… there were good scenes in Dawn of Justice!”
“I’m kind of amazed I have to say this to you, but maybe you should watch some real martial arts movies? You know, like ‘Enter the Dragon’? But speaking of that train wreck of a comic book movie…” Adagio leaned in and whispered, “Dream sequences,” with a smirk.
Aria shuttered and instinctively pulled the game away as if she was shielding it. “Okay well… The Lego Batman Movie is good!” she insisted.
“Hah. Maybe if you’re five… or Sonata,” Adagio quipped.
“Grrrrr… Well, the animated DC movies are really cool! I mean…” Aria’s scrunched up her lips. “Justice League Dark also had Zatanna… and… and… Constantine! And Swamp Thing!”
“Oh, like those count…” A demonic smile gleaming on her face, Adagio leaned in close to Aria. “You know… unlike Suicide Squad…” she murmured.
Aria recoiled and clutched her game tightly. “You… you… you shut up!” Aria’s eyes began to water. “Batman is cool! He’s… he’s cool… He’s just been mishandled… sniff… like me…” she sobbed.
Adagio stared at Aria for a moment. “Is… is this some attempt to lure me into a false sense of security before you deck me? Because let me tell you, it’s working.”
Aria cradled her game, tears streaming down her eyes as she shook her head. “I’m not going to punch you, Adagio,” she said softly.
“Uh… Why?”
Aria pulled the game away from her face and stared at the cover art, then ran a hand over it lovingly. “Because Batman wouldn’t want me to,” she murmured.
“Oh… okay… I uh…” Adagio scratched the back of her head then frowned as she pulled out a black eyepatch. Staring at the rogue item for a second, she mouthed ‘Okay, but why, though?’ to herself then looked back up at Aria, tossing the item behind her. “Look, erm… I apparently took this too far, and well… ‘Batman Begins’ and ‘The Dark Knight’ were pretty good so… uh…”
Aria immediately threw her arms around Adagio and hugged her tightly.
Confused, Adagio patted Aria’s back a few times. “Er... There, there?”
“Uh, Dagi…?” Aria said. She patted Adagio’s hair a few times. “You’ve got a lot more stuff back here.”
“Hey! Stay out of my stash!” Sonata’s voice commanded as she stomped up to the pair.
Adagio and Aria parted, Adagio sighing heavily. “Did you stick tacos in my hair again?”
Sonata blew out a dismissive gust of air. “Implying I ever stopped…” she said matter of factually as she reached into Adagio’s curls and produced two wrapped tacos.
Aria raised an eyebrow.
Adagio shook her head. “I really need to establish some ground rules regarding my hair.”
“Oh!” Sonata said excitedly. She thrust her hand into Adagio’s hair again and pulled out a Blu-ray case labeled ‘Die Hard’. “And I have something to get me in the mood for the season.”
Adagio and Aria exchanged glances.
“Sonata,” Aria began, “Die Hard is a Christmas movie… I mean… I know you’re brain cell deficient, but even you should know that.”
“Shut up!” Sonata cried. “December is too far away! Don’t tell me how to live my life! You’re not my real parents!” With that, Sonata reached both her hands into Adagio’s tangle of orange curls, pulled out a Santa hat, some candy canes, and a copy of ‘Army of Darkness’. Running off, she quickly put the Santa hat on, unwrapped a candy cane, and stuffed it in her mouth to muffle her sobs.
Adagio and Aria watched her go with twin moderately confused expressions on their faces.
Aria turned towards Adagio. “So… How long has it been since your hair was brushed?”
Adagio chuckled nervously. “You know, the last time that happened, you did it.”
“Right…” Aria walked off. “Okay, I’m going to get the brush set… and a machete.”
“Hey!” Adagio protested. “It’s not that bad!”
“Not for your hair!” Aria called back. “It’s in case there’s something that’s made a nest inside your hair!”
Adagio felt her teeth clench. “It was ONE time!”
"On the last day of Christmas, my sibling gave to me:
Twelve dead dryers,
Eleven muttered curses,
Ten water rinses,
Nine tears shed,
Eight threats made,
Seven pounds of tangles,
Six coffee breaks,
FIVE BROKEN COMBS! ("Seriously, what the HELL 'Dagi?!")
Four mocking words,
Three shredded throws,
Two snapped brushes,
And a tangle finally undone!"
Has anyone done a fic yet that's set entirely within the pocket dimensions of either Adagio's or Pinkie's hair?
I sense a story.
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She likes Batman... but she only remembers to do this if she's actively thinking about Batman, or, you know... has a picture of him or something.
This was a great one! 'Bout time we had another clean chapter, too. The sexual humor was starting to get stale; it was time to start mixing things up again.
Well, sounds like this is an epic battle. Yes, it will go down in...
(Wait for it...)
... hairstory!
I have to mostly agree with Adagio on Batman not being a crap superhero.
... That said Lego Batman was amazing, and Dagi was wrong about that. Aria shoulda punched her for that. :|
I sometimes wonder if Adagio is related to Cousin Itt.
Dark Knight was amazing if you ask me.
I really hope she remembers the towel.
Because shes going to need it if she reaches in too far and pops out of Pinkies hair while she is in the shower.
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Not that I know of, but I do remember something showing that Fluffle Puff had the Land of Ooo from Adventure Time under all her fluff. (Link) I wonder if she's related to Lion from Steven Universe.
I liked that movie.
Safety Manual for Adagio Grooming:
If hair appears to be going white and/or black, know that this cannot be true, as Adagio's hair is eternal. In this case her hair has been replaced by a tiger, shoot it with tranquillisers and return it to India.
If hair is giving off unusual smell and Adagio is leaving a trail of banana skins wherever she goes, an orangutan has taken up residence. Use more bananas to lure it out.
For all this and more, send for the full 300 page volume at "behind the water pipes, the women's washroom, platform 3, Waterloo Station".
At least Batman didnt make a deal with the devil.
#stillbitter
Okay who else wanted to give Aria and Sonata a hug, dressed as Batman or Santa. Or Santa Batman.
I had... reservations coming into this story. I thought 'Oh great, some mindless comedy story. Will read for lulz'
...
This was the most beautiful thing I have ever read. I think I reached a new stage of enlightenment afterwards. I can't wait for more.
(You know, I wonder if their school has teacher home visits?)
Dark Knight trilogy is awesome, Suicide Squad is okay, and Dawn of Justice was trash.
That said, this chapter was hilarious. Especially with Sonata
Either the hair forms a waterproof shield around its contents, or she never showers.
What would happen if Adagio's hair and Pinkie's hair got in a fight? Or worse, mated?
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I can't help but see this as another version of SMG4.
I hear vampires are popular these days. They should make a Batman & Dracula movie trilogy.
Red Rain has Batman killing Dracula, but getting turned in the end. Bruce Wayne is gone, but the Batman lives on, with vampire powers.
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Bloodstorm has the Joker take command of Dracula's surviving minions. They begin turning a bunch of Gotham's criminals, and Batman teams up with Catwoman (turned into a werecat) and Gordon to save the day. Catwoman dies, Batman drains the Joker, stakes his corpse, and gets Alfred and Gordon to stake him.
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Crimson Mist has Alfred reviving Batman to save Gotham from a crime wave. Batman goes on a killing spree, murdering his way through a large portion of his rogues gallery (and every inmate in Arkham). Two Face and Killer Croc ally with Gordon and Alfred to kill Batman, and all four eventually die in the final confrontation.
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Hahahaha, oooo lawdy... that was good, that was very good.
One can only wonder as what lay in the depths of Dagi's hair xD
I wish I could upvote this story for every chapter.
And after a brief search of the rats nest of hair they found Flash Sentry whose last memory was being at Camp Everfree in the bushes with Derpy.
Aria puts on her headphones to listen to a ditty that normally she wouldn't but....entering a scary environment, such as Dagi's hair, qualifies as needing something cheery.
Aria, "Hey Dagi, I found a woman in here who says she's been lost for 5 years since start of something called season 2, I don't know. Says her name is Lauren!?!"
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Whoa! You do NOT insult Bruce Springsteen! He is... The Boss!
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David Hasselhof is the Boss.
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But Springsteen is pretty cool. Not quite as cool as Simon and Garfunkle, but cool.
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So Batman is one of the Silence?
Muay Thai Warrior and House of Flying Daggers were better.
One time too many...