Revenge Is a Dish Best Served When the Target Just Wants to Nap
“Goooood morning, girls!”
“Ugggggghhhhh…” Adagio groaned a response to the chipper greeting as her eyelids slowly opened, both slowly twitching as if deciding if it was a good idea to let any light in or to simply keep shut without figuring out the source of the noise. Though a cheerful ‘good morning’ was pretty common in the house, that Adagio was almost certain the voice belonged to…
Aira chuckled. “Or afternoon, should I say?” Aria asked with an uncharacteristic upbeat tone and an even more uncharacteristic smile. “Sleep well?”
Adagio found her eyes only seemed to open half-way. “A-Aria? Wha… oww…” Adagio moaned as the throbbing pain from her head made itself known. On top of that, her mouth was bone dry and she could still taste… well… lots of things… but mostly last night’s beers.
“Owchies…”
Adagio glanced over to the purple easy chair which Sonata was currently slumped in. The hand Sonata held up to her forehead let her know that the blue haired girl probably wasn’t feeling any better than she was, and the disheveled mess both Sonata’s hair and clothes were in gave Adagio a pretty good idea of what she herself probably looked like.
“Awwww…” Aria uttered, though it’s flat tone and look her face showed she wasn’t exactly being genuine. “Are the two party animals suffering from some post-drinking problems?”
Sonata gave Aria a pained look. “I think a goblin snuck into my head and is now playing the bongos!”
Adagio moaned again. “Ughh… Aria, what are you doing up? I thought you said you were going to sleep through the year?”
Aria shrugged. “You guys were unusually quiet during the hours I like to sleep! I feel great!”
Adagio pursed her lips as she continued to wrinkle her brow. The pain in her head and protest from her eyes kept her face in a near perpetual scowl. “‘Hours you like to sleep?’ You’d sleep until well past noon, if given the chance.”
Aria ginned wide.
“Hey, girls?” Sonata said in a tentative tone. “I forgot what it means when the little hand on the clock is pointed up and the big hand is pointed down…”
Adagio sighed. “Sonata, you don’t even know what it means when the hands are pointed anywhere!”
“Yes I do!” Sonata insisted angrily as she flung her hands to her sides. “Owie…” she uttered as she returned her hand to her head.
“‘Owie’ is right,” Adagio said as she rubbed her own head. “Let’s use our ‘indoor voice’ for moronic outbursts, shall we?”
Sonata wrinkled her nose and puffed out her lips. “I know the more the big hands leans over, the faster the time machine goes!”
Adagio and Aria shot eachother confused glances.
“Sonata,” Aria said, “what the heck are you talking about?!”
“Pinkie has clocks on her time machine!” Sonata said. “The more the big hand leans to the right, the faster we get to the future!”
Adagio thought about this for a moment. “Does… Does Pinkie’s machine have four wheels and requires a key to start?” she asked.
Sonata gasped. “You’ve seen it too?!”
Adagio rolled her eyes. “No, just a lucky guess…” She turned to Aria. “If it’s past noon, then why the heck do I still feel tired?!”
Aria smirked. “You two kept screaming at the TV for quite some time. At one point you got mad at it for ‘ooo’ing at you and both started getting angry at the colors cyan and magenta for ‘not committing to one color or the other’.
Sonata sighed. “Yeah, that rainbow show wasn’t very fun.”
Adagio scrunched her lips up to one side of her face. “We got angry at a test pattern!?”
Aria nodded. “Must of… That would explain why you said you ‘missed the chief’ and ‘wanted to have sloppy make-outs with his disembodied head.’”
“Bleh,” Sonata said, “that old black and white Indian circle show was boring anyways! I can’t believe how many seasons it lasted!”
Adagio swallowed. “Please tell me you didn’t record any of what happened last night.”
Aria smiled and shook her head. “Oh, Adagio. What kind of petty vengeance seeker do you take me for?”
Adagio breathed a sigh of relief.
Aria suddenly wiped out a cylindrical item with a cone on the end of it, pointing it up into the air. “Hey! You two want to hear my new air horn?!”
Adagio grit her teeth.
Sonata gave Aria a confused look. “Wait, wha—”
‘AWHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…’
“AHHHH!”
“EEEAAAAK!”
The two suffering girls covered their ears as Aria released an eardrum shattering wail into the living room courtesy of her air horn.
‘…OOOOOOOOO!’
Adagio shot Aria a pleading look once the offending noise which seemed to continue to reverberate in her skull subsided. “Okay, you’re mad… I get it… But please tell me you’re not going to continue this one woman attack on our heads all day.”
Aria shook her head. “Of course not! I invited someone over to teach me the drums!”
Adagio cocked an eyebrow. “Invited someone over…? Drums?!”
‘Knock, knock knock knock knock… knock knock!’
Sonata’s pupils suddenly shrunk as if being submerged in a sea of lavender. “Oh no…”
Aria smiled wide. “And there she is now!” Aria walked out of the living room and into the entrance area of the house.
“Aria!” Adagio called out. “Please tell me that isn’t…”
“Hello!” A bubbly feminine voice called out followed by a giggle. “Did someone order a package full of fun?!”
“… Pinkie Pie…” Adagio finished with a sad sigh.
Aria’s voice responded from the other room, “I know two girls who could use a whole crate full of fun!”
Adagio and Sonata watched with expressions one might reserve for when a relative visits who perpetually smells of cigar smoke and had a knack for telling inappropriately racist jokes. However, in this case, the ‘relative’ was a ‘friend’ of sorts who always smelled of cake batter and kept a healthy supply of noisemakers in her hair.
Soon the hyperactive girl was bounding into the living room, her light-blue boots stomping on the ground as she sprung up and down and her curly pink hair bouncing along with each skip. “Have no fear, Pinkie Pie is here!” Pinkie announced as she brought a colorful green and pink noise maker up to her lips and blew into it.
‘Pheeeewoooo!’
“… Yaaaaaaaaaaay…” Sonata replied with a sort of empty hollowness to her voice as she simply stared directly at Pinkie.
Adagio simply stared on with her mouth agape as one of her eyes twitched.
Aria walked back into the living room, her lips spread to the far corners of her mouth into an icepick smile.
“I heard you two weren’t feeling well!” Pinkie said with a concerned look.
Sonata frowned. “My tummy is angry at me and I think my brain is trying to tunnel its way out of my skull!”
“My body is a roadmap of pain!” Adagio chimed in. “And all exits get off onto my forehead!”
Pinkie smiled wide. “Well don’t worry! Nurse Pinkie Pie has just the thing to turn those frowns upside down and get you two feeling super-de-duper again!”
Adagio gulped. “Rest and quiet?” she asked, even though she knew that wasn’t the answer.
“No, silly-billy!” Pinkie replied. She pulled out flat, square-shaped item with a trio of cats on it all wearing Christmas hats. “This CD always makes me feel better when I’m feeling down.”
Adagio stared at the cover art as terror gripped her features. “Pulleeease tell me that’s just the sound of cats purring quietly to help the healing process.”
“Haha! Noper!” Pinkie replied. “I mean… booooring! This is a bunch of cats singing Christmas songs!”
Sonata swallowed as she forced a hopeful smile despite the obvious dread that wrote volumes over her face. “I like Christmas…”
Pinkie’s face lit up. “Then you’re going to love this!”
Aria quickly rushed towards the TV, bent down, and began fiddling with a few devices. “Here, Pinkie!” She said as she held out a hand. “I got the surround sound working for you!”
Pinkie grinned and hopped over to Aria, retrieving the CD from the case and handing it to her.
“A-Aria?” Adagio stammered. “La-look, I’m really sorry about leaving you alone with Sonata last night! Please don’t—”
“MEOW MEOW MEOW! MEOW MEOW MEOW! MEOW MEOW MEOW, MEEEEOW!”
Adagio was cut off as cats began to wail in a tone vaguely resembling the holiday classic, Jingle Bells. Both Adagio and Sonata clenched their teeth hard as the slightly off tune cries of cats flooded the room causing the already throbbing pain in their heads to protest further.
“MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW, MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW! MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW! MEOW!”
Pinkie smiled wide. Snapping her fingers and tapping her toes in whatever passed for ‘rhythm’ on the song. “Yeah! Listen to those kittens sing!”
“DO WE HAVE A CHOICE?!” Adagio cried.
Sonata slumped in her chair, as if hoping the furniture would suck her into it and allow her some respite from the ‘music’. “Please… make it stop…”
Pinkie turned to Aria “HEY!” she shouted over the cat croons. “You didn’t specify which type of drum or drums you wanted to learn, so I just packed my car full of them!”
Aria grinned widely. “Well, we’ll just have to try them all, won’t we?!”
“MEOW MEOW MEOW! MEOW MEOW MEOW! MEOW MEOW MEOW, MEEEEOW!”
Pinkie’s smile exploded so wide it seemed her face couldn’t even contain all the joy. “AWESOME-O-POSSUM! Let’s grab some drums!”
Pinkie and Aria rushed out of the living room.
“A-Adagio?” Sonata said in a pained tone.
“… Yeah?”
“MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW,”
“Is God punishing us for our sins?”
“MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW.”
“… Yes. Most definitely, ‘yes’.”
“MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW!”
Sonata whimpered as she sank lower into her chair.
“MEOW!”
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...Ouch...
Aria is evil. This is a wonderful thing.
I am enjoying this far too much!
Poor Adagio and Sonata
not sure if mistake or not...
It should be "Aria's", but it would be better if you replaced it with "her".
grinned widely?
I think you're missing an "and" somewhere in there. And I'm not sure if the comma should stay or remain, btw.
"pulled out a flat, square-shaped..."
"This is a bunch of cats..." also, kudos, first time I ever read those words in the same sentence in that order.
what is that supposed to be?
"as if hoping the..."?
That does describe some of my relatives. My uncles, mostly.
This was really funny. Sonata criticizing the test patterns and such... So in character.
Torture
Deep down, Aira's gotta be loving her revenge.
Another funny chapter, loved it.
5875781 I don't think it's that deep down. More like 'plastered on her face' to be honest.
I love it.
Another enjoyable chapter. Keep up the good work.
Nice chapter, but there's some that no one else has noticed so far that you may want to edit.
That should be "invited".
Ventrilo does!
MEOOOOOOW!!! Hee hee!
5875685
5875972
Fixed! Thanks!
Should be "were".
5876227
Got this one! Thanks!
New headcanon: Pinkie owns the Delorean from Back to the Future.
REPENT: THE END IS NEIGH! PINKIE HAS ALL THE DRUM SETS!!!
5876436
New headcanon: Doc Brown, Pinkie and the Doctor are all Timelords.
Damn...
I can't feel my sides!!
LOL!
That's what they get! (I can't stop laughing!)
I just lost it here
I love it!
But, I know next chapter isn't gonna be pretty.
Well that escalated quickly.
Oh gods this is brilliant. Here's a video of cats singing Jingle Bells if you want the full experience:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyMFd__hUac
Next chapter Sonata gets coffee crazy to get over it, and she drives Aria insane and 3 miles farther.
Hilarity. Sheer hilarity. I took too long to read this story!
LMAO THIS IS HILARIOUS
Aria is the WORST. Now they must play ALL THE DRUMS....
Not being able to give a like per chapter is the WORST. though.
Because reasons.
And tacos.
You evil BITCH! I Approve!
This is hiliarious man, nicely done! XD
Does this count as cruelty to animals...uhh fish...err whatever Sirens are?
7443373
Not if it's their own kind doing it to their own kind.
This chapter was a great deal of wonderful.
7443373
No I think it's just cruelty.
Pretty sure this revenge is actually a subsection of the Geneva Convention, Aria.
Weaponized Sound and Pinkie Pie.
My head hurts just from reading this chapter,good job.