Facing the Truth
It had been about a week since Tirek was defeated and the Friendship Kingdom was established. The ponies of Ponyville were ecstatic to be apart of Princess Twilight Sparkle's newfound domain. They had known the studious alicorn before she had become a princess. She had played a vital role in keeping the town safe, organized, and in control. Now, she could help them in even larger ways by settling their disputes and resolving any conflict that might tear apart Ponyville's harmony.
The newly-appointed Princess of Friendship had also gained the interest of a certain mischievous spirit. Discord had betrayed all of ponykind by siding with Tirek and helping to drain all of Equestria's magic. He had every right to stay in that bubble. To suffer any fate that would have befallen him. But, she didn't allow it. She would not relent until he was released.
That moment, Discord saw Twilight in a different light. No pony had ever sacrificed something for him before. Not even Fluttershy. Ever since that fateful day, Discord didn't see Twilight as just a friend. He saw her as something more.
Discord was sitting in his thinking tree, doing exactly that. In his claw was a picture of Princess Twilight Sparkle, the mare who had outwitted him time and time again. He gripped the picture tightly, glaring angrily down at it.
"Twilight, why must you make me feel like this? I can't look at you for five seconds without that sickly feeling showing up in my lower abdomen. I don't understand it," He put the photograph down and placed his head in his paw.
Discord snapped his fingers, hoping that a little bit of chaos would take his mind off of things. A bowl of chocolate pudding appeared.
Discord looked at it curiously. "Well, that's not very chaotic, is it? Let's try this again."
He snapped his fingers once more. The branch he was sitting on turned into a cheese stick, still strong enough to support him.
Discord looked at the cheese branch with dissatisfaction. "Not feeling it. Ugh! This isn't working."
His eyes turned back to the picture of Twilight. In the past, now would be a good a time as any to get that mare's mane in a knot. He would have had no second thoughts about it. But, now, after the event, it didn't seem right anymore.
Discord got up and loudly exhaled. "Come on, Discord. This is just a phase. I'll get over it. These feelings are just come convoluted thoughts that popped into my head and have no inclination of leaving me right now. They'll go away, I'm sure." He glanced back at the picture of Twilight. She certainly had some fascinating qualities about her. The way she freaked out over small things. The perfect pony she was seen as everyday was just a façade, hiding a disaster waiting to happen. She had a habit of creating chaos without sometimes even realizing it.
Plus, she wasn't that bad to look at. The way her mane sparkled in the sun, her horn glowing in a beautiful magenta aura, her--He shook his head and turned away. He silently cursed himself.
"Get it out of your head, Discord! These thoughts will dissipate in a matter of days. Besides, it would never work out. She is far too organized for me. I wouldn't last one minute without her yelling at me for placing a quill in the wrong place," Discord conjured up one of his signature cotton confections.
"Yup, like I said before, this is just a phase. It is springtime, anyway. I'm sure every male is going through it. I have nothing to worry about." Discord calmly took a bite out of the cloud, settling down for a nap. And yet, the purple pony remained in the forefront of his mind.
Twilight and her friends were salvaging everything they could from the remnants of her old library. Seeing the burned-up stump brought some tears to the young alicorn.
Twilight took in the sight of her precious library burnt to a crisp. "Hard to believe that just last week I was sitting on that balcony reading a book. Can't do that now, can I?" She chuckled sadly.
Spike came over to her and patted her side. "I'm sad, too, Twi. I mean, we spent two years living there. Why wouldn't we get attached to it?"
Twilight gave a sad smile. "That's the bad part about getting attached to something. You don't know what you have until it's gone."
Applejack came over and put a hoof around Twilight. "I know this is hard for ya, Twi. But, everythang happens fer a reason. If the library was still around, ya wouldn't have that there fancy palace." Applejack pointed a hoof at the Friendship Palace.
"Applejack is right, darling," Rarity said, coming over to join them. "It may take awhile for you to get over the fact that you can no longer visit the library, but I'm sure in time, you'll grow to appreciate your new abode. I know I will."
Twilight gave them a smile. "Thanks, girls. Though, it's going to take me more than awhile to get over this." She looked back up at the burned down stump with solemn eyes.
"We know, dear. We know. Oh, by the way, I found a stack of flash cards," Rarity levitated them over to Twilight. "They are surprisingly well-preserved."
"Oh, good. These were in my emergency kit. They probably survived because of the magic ward I placed on it." Twilight took them in her own magical aura and placed them in her saddlebags.
"Wait a sec," Rainbow dusted off her hooves then moved over to Twilight. "You're telling me you put a stack of notecards in an emergency kit? What else did you have in there? Safety 101?" Rainbow broke into little chuckles, eliciting an annoyed grunt from Twilight.
"Your jokes are getting old fast, you know that," Twilight turned around and went back to work.
The girls worked for a good half hour. Finding some items that were salvageable. They found some photographs of Twilight and themselves. They weren't in the best condition, some burnt around the edges, but considering the devastating blow that Tirek had given the library, they were pretty well-preserved.
Spike's basket had taken a few hits, but Spike didn't care. As long as it wasn't ashes, it was good enough for him.
Pinkie Pie was sorting through a pile of books, or at least, parts of books. Mostly pages and ripped bindings, nothing too important. She managed to find a few books that could be salvaged.
None of the books were entirely important, but Pinkie knew that Twilight would want to save every single book possible.
She threw some other books into a pile and picked up another one. She was about to put it aside, when the title caught her eye.
"Ooh, this looks interesting! HEY, GIRLS! I FOUND SOMETHING" Pinkie held a book out in the air.
"PINKIE! For Celestia's sake, we're all right here. You don't need to blow out our eardrums!" Applejack clutched her ears with her hooves.
"Oh, sorry! But, look. I found this book about Discord." She trotted over to the others, balancing the book on her head.
"About Discord?" Fluttershy perked up at the mention of her friend.
"That's strange. I don't remember reading this one." Twilight looked curiously at the book. She took it in her magic, wiping off the dust with her hooves. The corners were a bit burnt, but it appeared readable.
"I don't know if I'd be all that intrigued to read a story about him," Rarity said in an aloof manner.
"Now, Rarity, I don't think Discord would be happy to hear that. He's been trying really hard to gain back everypony's trust after...well, you know." Fluttershy gently scolded the white mare.
"Yah, well, he's not trying very hard. That's for sure," Rainbow crossed her forelegs.
"You guys are being a bunch of mean, judger, judgy pants..es. Discord's a fun guy. I'm sure if you gave him a chance, he'd be an awesome friend. Right, Twilight? Twilight?" Pinkie looked over to the mare in question.
"Huh? Oh, of course. Now, let's see," She opened up the book with her magic. "Discord: The Untold Story, I wonder what it's about." Her friends gathered around her, and she began to read.
Many know of the creature known as Discord. The living embodiment of Chaos himself. However, what most ponies fail to realize is that underneath that playful exterior, an unknown gold mine of truths and facts make up the interior. Twilight glanced up at her friends, already engrossed. She continued.
Discord was not always the mischievous being he's most commonly referred to. In fact, he used to be a very benevolent ruler. He was not even born a draconeques. Twilight's eyes widened as she read. He used to be a very wise and loving king named Accordance, treating his subjects with fairness.
However, he still had that playful spirit that invigorates him to this day. He would plan week-long celebrations for sometimes no reason. He would entertain his court with his clever jokes and vivid sense of humor. Life in the kingdom was truly wonderful. Until one day.
"Uh oh, you know what that means." Pinkie leaned in, both eager and anxious to hear the rest of it.
King Accord was in the royal archives when he stumbled across an old tome. It looked like it had been untouched for decades. It was about reaching the next level of magic. The king was quite intrigued by it. He was one of the most powerful unicorns at the point in time. As a recreational activity, the king would study every spell he could get his hooves on. If he could reach the next level of magic, who knows what her could do for his subjects. Unfortunately, the king failed to read the repercussions of achieving the next level. He carefully read and took in the information. Feeling he was ready, the king began the ritual.
He reached down into the deepest depths of his font, focusing on expanding it. A mental image formed in his mind. He pictured a giant hole and a shovel. As he pushed farther, the shovel would dig deeper. He could feel it. He would achieve the next level of magic. But, something went wrong. A new form of magic emerged itself into the "dirt" if that's what you would like to call it.
Accordance didn't pay any attention to it. It actually made him feel good. He welcomed the new magic, allowing it to consume him. This new magic affected the king in a very significant way. It corrupted his mind, getting rid of all his memories and replacing them with those of evil intentions. Not only that, his body began to transmogrify.
The king didn't try to stop it because it made him feel good. This new magic provided him with an unexplored field of arcane magic and a vastly enlarged amount of power. The king took in the feeling, not realizing the outcome, until it was too late.
Finally, the magic dissipated. But, King Accordance was no longer. In the once kind unicorn's place, a creature of chaos was born. A being with no intention of keeping harmony in its land. At that moment, the Era of Discord had begun. And the rest is history as we know it.
Twilight closed the book, her mind racing with thought after thought. She took a look at her friends and saw that their faces were grim. This was a lot to take in. Who could've guessed that Discord was a result of a spell gone wrong. She knew that this book spoke truth because of the author, Genuine Fact. She was a very reliable author in Equestria, known for her dedication to finding out the genuine truth, hence the name.
Still, this was all very hard to believe.
Rarity broke the long silence. "Oh my, what a back story."
"Yah," Rainbow rubbed her neck sheepishly. "Kind of makes you feel sorry for the guy. Almost."
"I find it hard to believe," Applejack looked up, staring into space. "But, I reckon there are some thangs out there that we might never grasp."
Twilight got up and began walking towards her castle. Her friends quickly followed suit.
"What are you doing, Twilight?" Pinkie asked, bouncing along side her.
"Well, this information about Discord is truly amazing. It's gotten me thinking that maybe there's more to history than what we know from books. Our world has been around for many millennia. Do we really have all there is to know about the past? I have to wonder if even Celestia knows about this. If she did, I would think she would have told me this." Twilight speculated as she ascended the steps of her castle.
"So, what are you doing now?" Spike asked.
"I need some alone time with my books. I'll be in my study. You're all welcome to stay longer, but I need some time to think." She trotted down the hall to her study, preparing for a few hours of research.
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Discolight? Quix approves!
In mine I went with 'Cordial'.
'Accordance' ? Dang! I never thought of that.
Despite a predisposition to Fluttercord, I'm looking forward to more.
Cul. :3
You know Discolight isn't my favorite shipping, but this is pretty good.
I prefer Twillypie over all other ships... but Discorlight (Twicord is my preference) is a close second. Not bad, but
is still best ship!
nice
these it makes sense but i do hope you dont pull a he turns into a pony thing since idk i like the idea of a himself being a crazy creature is more fun for him and his mates. XD
5555380 Not at all. I personally am not a fan of turning Discord into a pony. It kind of ruins the point. So, don't worry. Discord will stay a draconeques.
5555840
YAY :D
ether way i cant wait for the next chapter X3
A good idea. The realisation though...
There are a few things that I personally am not okay with.
First of all both your chapters were basically one big wall of text. Although you had a few indentions the overall clearness was lacking.
It would be more pleasant to read if there were more 'breaks' to distinguish things more clearly.
Secondly you have a pretty obvious typo in the first to lines where you wrote apart instead of a part.
The idea of using Twilights actions during the Tirek incident to initiate an interest towards her in Discord is a good starting point.
Giving him more background is a good idea.
Doing so so fast however leads to me getting the impression that it's rushed quite a bit.
Also it's a giant plot-hole having this book about his story spawn in the ashes of Golden Oaks. There are not few problems with that.
First of all: How come, that they haven't found it earlier? Twilight's Library is probably better organised than anything else in the world.
Who wrote it? And if it exists why isn't it public knowledge, or in other words: If there's a book saying that he's technically innocent, then why has he been portrayed as the big bad guy all these centuries?
(Aside from that I don't like this book appearing at all as it -sorry for the hard words- seems to me like a cheap excuse for Twilight to see him differently and the other characters to not oppose him as much as one would expect them to.)
Giving him his own room in the castle on the other hand was a good idea, especially since you banned normal magic there which you could use to give Twilight the motivation to learn chaos magic.
Finally Discord acting unsure or not being perfectly aware of what it is that he's feeling, seems -at least in my eyes- unlikely for his character, as we got to know him as the big manipulator, the guy who sees the whole picture and also as somewhat wise. In other words: It's OOC to my head-canon (and possibly canon) of Discord.
All in all I'd say your story has potential but could need some serious reworking. The pacing is much too fast for my tastes and I think you shouldn't reveal too much too fast. Take that book for example. Even though I couldn't like that move less it would have been much better -narratively speaking- if you had them find it after Discord hat already started making amends
--or--
after he is shown to remember everything but has been keeping quiet. In that case you would have gotten a completely different situation in which the book wouldn't just be a cheap excuse to change the characters behaviour towards him but rather would fundamentally change already established character-dynamics as opposed to not letting them develop on their own in the first place.
I will follow this story nevertheless. I'd like to see how this will progress and how you'll get around doing it.
Addendum:
5553856 I prefer Cordial over Accordance.
This is a Bluegrass Review. Nothing official, but occasionally I like to review a story or two. It's entirely my opinion, and I'll preface it by saying that this is by no means a bad story, I just saw a lot of room for improvement.
Hmmmm. The premise is okay, and I'm glad to see another Twicord story, but I can't say I'm happy with the execution. The characterization is very off-putting, and the pacing is much too fast. You seem to be hot and ready to "get to the good part" and aren't taking the time that the characters need to develop on their own. I don't mind fast paced stories, but this is more of a "jump paced" story. You literally throw your readers into a mood without setting up any reason for why they should feel that way. This is not only hard to read, but completely chews up your characterization which was not the strongest to begin with. For instance, this bit,
Now, I really can't see Discord saying this, in my headcanon or in any headcanon for that matter! The explanation before this bit was (as I understood it) that because Twilight freed him from Tirek. Now, this is a noble act, but I can't picture Discord completely falling head over heals just like that. It's OOC and corny as I'll get out. Now, a reaction like this would be more believable,
That would be more in character. He's not the type to fall head over heels after one incident. At least that's my personal opinion. My advice to you would be to try and really get into the mindset of the characters. Really stop and think about why they act the way they do, what experiences influence their thoughts, words, actions, and how those reactions might change depending on the situation. At the moment, I don't think you really have a grasp on the characters as a whole.
A side note, your formatting is really off-putting. I would strongly suggest doing away with the indents (keeping everything left aligned) and putting a space between each line of dialogue and paragraph. For instance this,
Could be re-formatted to this,
It reads a heck of a lot better, and doesn't break the flow or bored the reader. Another thing, add a horizontal rule with the code hr in brackets after each section. That allows for a physical representation of the section break instead of an implied break. Like this.
Moving on. You're doing a heck of a lot of telling/exposition and precious little showing. For instance,
Don't just tell us that! Use thoughts, descriptions, observations to highlight this fact rather than shoving it together in the beginning of the section. For example,
That's showing, not telling. More of that would go a long way for this story.
Anywho, the last thing I wanted to mention was that I was not keen on your exposition dump (ie the book). Backstory should NEVER be handed to the readers in one big chunk like that. That's referred to as exposition, and is frowned upon in the literary community for good reason. By dumping all the information at once, you're not keeping the reader's interest, removing any motivation to read more of the story, and removing any mystery for your readers. What I strongly, STRONGLY suggest is dishing out your backstory/headcanon gradually over time, not through an exposition contrivance like the book. Maybe have Discord slowly divulge the story over the course of the fic, or drop little hints along the way.
Imagine if I just dumped my draconequus headcanon on my readers of TCARW. Good golly, that headcanon of mine is HUGE! I've been purposely dropping hints throughout that story not only to keep the reader curious, but to allow for a gradual acclimatization of the ideas (some are a little out there). It's woven naturally into the story, not given in one big chunk. That's the way headcanon and backstory ought to be shown.
Then there's this line.
And that's it from me. Cute idea, and I'm super happy to see another Twicord story. Keep writing, you can only get better!
5690182 Thanks a bunch for the advice. I worked on a couple of things that you touched upon. There have been a few rewrites to this chapter. Hopefully, this is a little better. Then again, I'm not the best writer out there. But, criticism is always appreciated.
If you read any other chapter and have anything to say about them, please let me know.
Again, thanks!
I hate when people say "Discord used to be a pony but he was converted by a horrible spell" like
said, it makes you feel bad for him.whatever, it´s a nitpick, I like the fic
cs618128.vk.me/v618128306/223c0/6NFqNcw5Z14.jpg
What books?
What Study?