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I've always wanted to raise my own child, but the means behind receiving one have always been beyond my reach. One particular morning, I found a filly in a box and brought her home. The only problem was that the filly was Diamond Tiara. I immediately regret my decision.
Featured on 3/31/2015. Why.
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Oh my god, where are the tags? Where are the comments? This is the best fucking story and you did it better than me!
Seriously, this is the funniest fucking thing I've read in months. Holy shit, Vic, just holy shit.
5768390
It's not published, that's why. There's literally no middle because I ran out of time, but I might reboot it and post it later.
5770567
FUCK
Every day that passes in which you don't publish this, another spark of light goes out of my life.
WHY IS THIS NOT PUBLISHED YET YOU COMPLETE AND TOTAL BUTT
5798118 IT IS NOW
I think...
Cracking read, even if most of the Portland jokes went over my head. If anything, it made me kinda want to move there. Can't beat the odd bit of weirdness.
5798772
Nope, I can't add it to my group. :B
5799055
Now you can.
~Skeeter The Lurker
That was oddly enjoyable.
Incredibly amusing the whole way through. And even has a story worth giving a fuck about for the surprisingly sane train of events. I mean, holy shit, a character that evolved abit, a conflict that was resolved resolutely, comprehensible writing, this story's got it all!
No shit, bro, this was my first round pic for winner. I laughed my ass off the entire way through.
the feels on diamond tiara is amazing,
awesome story bro.
At last! :V
The dream is alive!
Two character's dialogue in one paragraph.
The dream of the nineties is alive in Portland! I just kept imagining the Portland of Portlandia while reading this. With Fred Aminsen as Diamond's human "dad" and Carrie Brownstein as the woman to whom he handed Diamond. And the bookstore he was in as Women and Women First.
This was weird. But that is a good thing since they want to keep Portland weird. I liked this odd piece of strangeness, it made me laugh. You have earned a favorite and a like.
~KBO.
When I was in college many years ago, I knew a girl from Portland. She was a strict vegan (yet kinda overweight – not the last time I'd meet someone like that) and always walked around campus barefoot. The only time she wore shoes was in the cafeteria because they refused to let her in otherwise, so she used a pair of flip-flops even in the dead of winter. She explained veganism to me, and in hindsight is probably the only decent one I ever met.
She was also very opinionated and sure of herself. I recall one time she decided to hold an antiwar protest with the justification that someone needed to. It was her and a few of our friends. I politely declined, not because I disagreed with her (though we butted heads on other topics), but because I have absolutely no confidence and didn't want hundreds of redneck passers-by to look at me with their disapproving glares.
Although it wasn't your intention, I appreciate you reminding me of a happier time in my life (or at least a time when I had more friends). Also, this story was a riot; you earned a fave from me.
5804059
Portlandia was literally the show I thought of when I wrote this, since I couldn't justify DT being on Earth unless she was literally in Portlandia. Glad to know you caught the reference <3
5804118
Thank you very much! There's always people that you wish you still knew. I have a few myself...
5803109
My Nigga <3
5802848
5803038
Every now and then I get a good one ^_^
With my older sister living in Portland at the moment, along with the story itself, I honestly can't stop laughing. Thank you, ABagOfVicodin, you have made my night.
Its not bad. Barebone, kinda like "my litttle dashie" but better because the month scale work better than skimming over X decades.
The randomness and utter lack of reactions to DT of the people was weird. Maybe its comedy and not to be taken seriously, but the world they are in is too weird to relate to/believe.
It wasnt really apparent the guy had a psychology degree and child-dev- class. If you are going to mention that (and he's apparently good at it) i woudnt mind being shown his skill and how he apply it to DT.
I'D say more, but really, its barebone. We don'T get to see much interactions between them (we are Told about it) so i wasnt really invested in the characters.
-edit typo
5804059 Aha! I've caught you cheating on my stories! But... But I thought what we had was special!
I cried at the end of this.
I don't know why I just happen to like Diamond because she is a brat.
Oh god, I can't stop laughing at the Portland jokes. I'm from Oregon and have been to Portland many times. So true. Loved the story. i'm with PresentPerfect on this. This is story is hilarious.
This was really sweet
I haven't read this yet, I guess it is akin to My Little Dashie?
5806538
Kind of, but better.
5805820
it was the only city that made this story work. xD
Now I have read it. Why did you redeem Diamond, WHY!!!
I can see why this was featured. Truly.
5805282 Aww, do not be mad. If I read a story, pointing out flaws is compulsory. I am, admittedly, a proofreading whore. Well, a slut. Whores get paid for what they do, sluts are just having a good time. It does not mean that what we have is not special. It is just when I am not doing it for you, I am doing it for other people. Sometimes more than one at a time. But I will always be there for you, too, Lulu.
5807295 Hah.
Because God hates you.
It was featured because either Moderators or Interviewers liked it, not because it's any good. (Even though it probably is quite good) The Featured box is sixty-eight layers of unbalanced and fucked up. At least you got featured brother. Don't question it, just enjoy it.
Don't do that, please; that's what Author Notes are for.
Hitler = Rarity
I loved the shots at Portland, the "shame and vocational school" joke, and just about everything else in this fun, charming little story. Great work.
It didn't make me burst out laughing, but it was a pretty fun(ny) read.
Is there a joke here? If there is I don't see it...
I just love that scene. We need more flailing on the show. It's just cute when they do that.
The Rarity bit got mentioned already but that was gold.
This fic was just fun and yeah... so true. Here's hoping to have my own annoying brat one, too.
XD made me laugh.
5770567 you sir are a comedy genius.
If this was me and I took care of Diamond Tiara and I saw the note and what she did---
I would break down and cry, and that's what your character should've done, broke down and cried as he held the phone and hoped someday to see Diamond Tiara again.