the dobermans
Joined 19th Oct, 2011 ·
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Well, Rainbow. Sometimes these things happen.
This is the penultimate Cupcakes inspired story. It is absolutely sublime and works on several levels. At the forefront, it is a devilishly beautiful story of horror. Once you flay the skin back, you discover how moist the meat of the story is. And finally, in the deepest, most vital reaches, you find all those delicious organs necessary for what makes a story good.
Look at the subtleties of the story, the little nuances that can only be crafted with care and intelligence: Pinkie's madness, Rainbow's descent into fear-insanity, and Luna's self-loathing.
Pinkie's speech tells everything you need to know about her mental stability. She knows it's wrong somewhere deep inside of her but it's only in little moments where her caged conscience rattles its tin cup against the bars in a fit while howling for the warden that she seems to pause in her actions.
Rainbow gives up and her mind begins taking her away from the awful truth of her situation. She's grasping for any escape and the only one she can find is the one in her mind. She knows that there can be no escape and yet she finds a way to free herself for a few moments at a time. I get a little tingle when I think about how far she would have gone by the end of her time with Pinkie. She may have very well been cheering.
Luna is gorgeous in this story. She obviously hates herself for the attempted sororicide when she tried to reign in the rule of night. She has lost touch with her subjects and the isolation has broken her confidence. Worse yet, the few words of dialogue she has in the end details how she feels about herself. Guilt-ridden and with a death wish, she does not fight her coming demise because she has "crumbled like a cookie" to put it in Pinkie's words. She wants the torment and death as punishment for her previous megalomania.
This story's lifeblood is deep within it. It's not just a "Pinkie decides to kill everyone" story, it's so much more than that. We have flawed characters being reduced to their roots because of their flaws. It's an ingeniously deep story about concepts of love and the self-degradation that plagues us all at one time or another.
This is by far the best story in the Cupcakes line of inspirations. If this was a race, Life is a Party would have finished, had a good lunch, and taken a nap before the 2nd place runner crossed the finish line.
4 upvotes and 5 downvotes is a sin, Dobermans. Your use of literary technique and using themes is superior in this story. It's like John Updike's A and P, Melville's usage of the white whale, or Bierce's exploration of the mind in "An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge". The downvotes are from cynics, children, or those who don't understand what literature is besides simple sentences that ultimately mean nothing.
The original Cupcakes was far from a masterpiece; it was an exploration of horror in Ponyville and nothing else. It collided the extreme negative of what MLP is and was written well, but it left out any heart or soul for pleasant aesthetics. Like lipstick on a pig, it chose to look pretty instead of delving into the deep. This story digs in like a maggot and feasts on the unseen, rich meat at the heart of the original.
This is a work of art.
5551862
I love you.
5553852
5553852
5553875
He is pretty awesome.
5553892 lol. My comment got scorn from someone. Clearly it went over their head.
5553892
people downvote comments all the time which is why that feature is dumb.
jmj cares about pinkamena most grimdark authors dont care about her they just want to destroy her. Yeah he's a pretty awesome guy.
5553974 lol. Dobermans wrote this masterpiece. I'm just giving it the praise it deserves. His Pinkie is pretty wicked. She's screwed up and tragic all at once. Poor thing.
5554034
Yeah I know you already wrote yours which was changes. His pinkie is nuts and i mean that in a good way she's laughter if it had no empathy at all. We have a character here who is suppose to be all happy but is actually insane but at the same time its kinda tragic like you said. I love it will he do more pinkamena stories in the future? He really does a good job with her here.
5554066 Dono. He's a cool guy. Ask him.
5554066
Pinkamena D. Pie? Can't say it's totally out of the question.
I will say though, that if you're into jmj, and like my stuff, there may be an extra special treat for you coming sometime in the not too terribly distant future
5554160
Sounds cool.
I'm so sick of cupcakes... it sucked when it first came out, now it still sucks and it's WAAAAAAAAAAAY overdone. I can't go a day without hearing someone reference it. God I wish this site had filters.
5554254
Sorry bro! You might want to take that up with some of the site mods. Though be warned, a few of them just ran a contest asking for Cupcakes rewrites, Cupcakes parodies, Cupcakes "re-vamps", Cupcakes pastiches ... pretty much all Cupcakes all the time!
Not really. Well, maybe a little really.
For the record, I enjoyed reading this.
Don't let the like to dislike ratio get you down.
It happens.
I'm willing to bet my left hand that most of the people who disliked it didn't even really read it.
Probably just stared at it, saw it was cupcakes related, and downvoted for that reason alone.
5551862
The original Cupcakes was not well written. You might be slightly crazy.
This is a great reimagining. If it had been first, it would have earned its fame.
It seems to support materialist monism while at the same time demonizing it as nihilistic.
5556235 Slightly? SLIGHTLY? We will go the full ten strokes of the daffodil cambersergs or we will lay the egg! Mescapan, good sir! Mescapan to you!
5556399
Never mind. Not crazy at all.
5556337
It certainly is a pickle, isn't it? Too much for poor little ponies to handle.
Overall I thought that you did a good job on this story and I was a little bit surprised that Luna would've been overpowered that easy! This was an interesting take to the whole cupcakes she-bang and it was good to read something that wasn't the usual copied clones out there of these supposed "Sequels, Prequels or My OC in Cupcakes".
Anyways well done in creating this literary delight for us (I love dark and horror) and it is a shame that you have these down votes (you don't deserve a single down vote, instead you deserve more upvotes)
-Frost
5575863
Wow, thanks for the kind words! I'm glad that you enjoyed it. I've always secretly wanted to rework Cupcakes and give it the darkness I thought it was lacking, so when the contest came around, I just couldn't resist.
Deserved to win the contest. Best entry. Best entry. 10/10.
This is awesome. And what point did Luna die at?
8704619
Glad you liked it! I guess it's open to interpretation, but in my view she was alive at the end.
I like this version. Sad ending but still good. My only question is why add Luna? Just curious.
9055320
Great question! The decision to add her was based on what the characters represent. In the original, it's just Pinkie and RD - one friend betraying another. With Luna involved, it becomes the failure of a guardian to protect herself and her subject as well. There are other things going on, but that's one of the main themes.
9056361
That's cool. It makes more sense.
IS there going to be more?
10193206
More of this story in particular? I can't say I planned a direct sequel to this. It has been said, however, that My Final Confession: Vengeance could well exist in this universe (can't link to it). It's long and somewhat dense, but chock full of Cupcakes.
Glad you liked it, though, and thanks for watching!!
Maybe a short second chapter to wrap it up?
10853158
Hm. Maybe. Never really planned one. If anything comes to me I'll see what I can do.
Although, some have posed the possibility that another story, My Final Confession: Vengeance could be a sequel in some respects.
I think there's a very clear 'lesson' of sorts here, that I don't think anyone mentioned? The 'lesson' as I read it is:
Morality comes from vitalism. If you believe in materialism, there is nothing stopping you from becoming like hedonistic and without empathy like Pinkie.
Which I really don't agree with, but it's still really clever how you used pinkie and the general concept of 'cupcakes' to portray these attributes.
11278118
You're a perceptive reader!
Thanks for giving it a chance.
good story, but it ended way too abruptly. would've liked to see some sort of aftermath with her actually selling the cupcakes accompanied by another look into her psyche compared to the ignorant customers.