Obsolution

by not plu

8: The Boreal Pole

I’d love to come out to Fillydelphia, I really would, but I’m afraid my schedule simply doesn’t allow it. If business ever takes me there I’d be happy to come visit you, but for now, it looks like I’ll be stuck in Canterlot for quite some time...

---

If you’ve ever had a major tragedy happen to you, you’ll know how it feels to wake up the next morning. If you haven’t, here’s what it’s like:

As usual, you slowly drift into consciousness, still clinging to the leftover fragments of your dream-world. But it’s hopeless, so, still curling into the covers, you open your eyes. And everything seems like it’s going to be a normal day.

But then you remember.

And all you want to do is feel that sweet, warm escape of fantasy again, but it’s hopeless, because you’re never going to be able to return to what used to be reality. It’s gone, slipping from your memory every second.

And you want to scream.

But you don’t. You have to get up. You have duties, responsibilities to attend to.

So if you’re anything like Twilight Sparkle, you schedule.

You pencil in ‘Pinkie’s funeral’, in that neat penmanship only unicorns have, right in between ‘Breakfast with Celestia’ and ‘Firepony’s Ball’.

You splash some water on your face to lessen the puffiness around your eyes.

You cast the tear-stopping spell on yourself.

You pretend nothing’s wrong.

Get used to it.

---

Celestia had been very sympathetic. Well, empathetic.

She was the one who told Twilight, even though she first found out about it at night, and it really should have been Luna. But she insisted.

There were tears. There were hugs. It was comforting.

But now Twilight was alone in her room, with no hugs or comfort, but no tears either, at least.

When her emotions were slightly less high, Celestia had told her the story of losing her first close friend. She was a classmate of hers, and was just as obsessed with makeup and colts as she was with ancient runes and legendary unicorns. Top of her class at the only magic school in Equestria, everypony said her name would forever live on in the history books. But shortly after graduating, she fell in love. Celestia approved of the stallion, but once the two were married, the two friends gradually drifted apart, as often is the case. Soon after, she fell pregnant, and the mare was forced to give up her research for motherhood. It wasn't long before she had three or four little foals running around, and nopony had heard from her in years.

Years later, once those foals were surely grown, Celestia was doing some spring cleaning, and happened upon some mementos from her school days, in a dusty old box in the bottom of her closet. Included was a picture of her and this mare, smiling brightly for the camera. Seeing the picture filled the Princess with so much nostalgia that she immediately felt compelled to write to her old friend, just for the contact. To her surprise, she replied. The two mares corresponded for a while, until Celestia finally invited her back to Canterlot to study magic once again. It took some convincing, but she eventually agreed, and took residence in the castle, free to make magic history, as promised. But she was out of practice. And not long after she’d arrived, she was combining two powerful and outdated spells, when it backfired, killing her instantly.

Celestia paused after getting to that point in the story.

“Is that it?” Twilight asked.

Celestia shook her head.

“It was painful, so incredibly painful to me, but the point is, I kept going.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better.”

Celestia smiled slightly at her, as if Twilight was still a filly, and the issue at hand was a bad grade on a test or a lost teddy bear.

“No, but you’ll know you’re not alone.”

Celestia waited while Twilight grabbed a tissue and blew her nose, still runny from the excess tears.

“What was her name?”

“Whose name?”

“Your friend. The one who died.”

Celestia paused for too long, clearly deep in thought.

“I honestly don’t remember. It was a very long time ago. I’m sorry, Twilight.”

“It’s fine.”

Get used to it.

---

Later that day, Celestia, coming to check on her student, found her in the library, surrounded by books.

This wouldn’t have been too strange usually. In fact, it’s where she always checked first. Since she was a filly, if something happened and nopony could find Twilight, Celestia told them to check the library, and there she would be, sitting in a corner in her own little book fort. And it looked like nothing had changed so far.

“What are you reading?” She asked quietly.

Twilight, startled, slammed her book shut and covered it with her hooves.

“Um, nothing. Just- just the usual.”

She wasn’t exactly covering it well enough.

Understanding Depression: How you Can Help

“Well, alright. Would you like to talk any more, Twilight?”

What’s Left: A Collection of Essays on Immortality

She shook her head.

An In-Depth Analysis of the Seven Stages of Grief

“Thank you, Princess.”

Breaking Through Survivor’s Guilt

“You’re welcome.”

Coping Mechanisms and How to Use Them

Celestia paused, as if she had something more to say, but instead turned to leave.

“Celestia, wait.”

She turned back around to face Twilight.

“Uh, Pinkie’s funeral was cancelled. So I’ll be able to go to the press conference.”

Twilight cast her eyes downward to the grayscale ponies on the cover of her book.

“You don’t have to go, Twilight.”

“No, I want to go.” Twilight answered all too quickly.

Celestia nodded and finally left Twilight to be alone with her books again.

Get used to it.

---

Ponies die and that’s understandable.

Death is inevitable.

Well, unless you’re a princess, of course. But that’s irrelevant. Ponies around you will still die, and that’s okay.

Well, unless they committed suicide.

Which is rare enough that the word tastes foreign on most ponies’ tongues.

And you don’t want any to give anypony any ideas, of course. So when you have to speak about the death of an Element, you don’t say “suicide” and you don’t say “poison” and you don’t say “depression”.

You say “accidentally overdosed on a potion prescribed to help her sleep.”

Or you don’t say anything about it.

But if somepony asks, well, that’s what they put on the death certificate.

That’s what it said in the obituary.

It also said “Pinkie Pie’s memory is celebrated how she lived her life: in laughter and in song.”

It also said “She died having lived her life to the fullest.”

So you say "She'll be missed."

And you can say those other things too, standing up there on that podium with the lights in your face and the hushed sound of shuffling papers and squeaky chairs.

Just read your note cards and it’ll be fine.

And whatever you do, don’t let them see you cry.

Get used to it.

Author's Note:

I wanted this chapter to mirror the last one, so they both ended up being pretty heavy. And that's not necessarily going to be the tone of every chapter from now on, but it isn't exactly going to get upbeat any time soon. But anyway, I like this chapter a lot, and hopefully I'll be able to update more frequently.

Comments

[i_am_the_jam]

They had cameras way back then?

[not plu]

5823302 Yes, there are cameras, and photographs in the show.

[i_am_the_jam]

5823336
I mean, at the time Celestia was YOUNG.

[not plu]

5823625 Oh, you're talking about the story celestia tells. Yeah, that's my mistake.

[FloydienSlip]

Deep stuff.

[No one is home]

Dammit but this is heavy. I've really.... enjoyed? I'm gonna go with "enjoyed", this story. Pinkies suicide was kinda a punch in the gut. Are you gonna write more of these? This is a pretty reasonable ending point, but you're note at the end leads me to believe there's gonna be more.

[not plu]

5897475
There's definitely more. We're only about a third of the way through. Glad you like it!

[QueenMoriarty]

And you don’t want any to give anypony any ideas

That first 'any' serves no purpose.

Also, I am very sad, but listening to awesome Disney music, so I'm managing not to cry.