Requiem17
Joined 4th Nov, 2013 ·
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Prepare thy butthole for the downvotes because of the trigger.
5545828 Eh, it's whatever.
Not bad. Not bad at all. And you shouldn't get too many downvote bombs, since it appears to not have a bad ending. I personally enjoyed it.
5545906 Thanks, that means a lot. I didn't fail in my ending goal!
Nice, good pacing.
*in terrible british accent* Ale is not amused.
5546013 I thought the comic was appropriate XD
5546020 it is, so much. And since you are still alive, is their any chance I could give ale a shotgun? It might be fun.
5546049 ... I'm the ghost of Req~ You can't see me.........
And do you mean for RotG?
5546053 no for that I was wondering if I can punch someone because its fun to piss off super soldiers.
5546061 You want to punch a Spartan? My Spartan in particular? I don't think Ryan could handle the strength of the armor, he'd break his fist in Ale's visor.
5546068 not Ryan. Me. The all powerful reader. Mostly for being cluelessly blind to Luna's presence.
5546107 ... Um, okay? I don;t understand you XD Sorry, must be too late for me. I don't think Ale would appreciate you punching Luna. He'll break the fourth wall to get your ass, I'll even write about it XD
5546149 I'll be waiting with a halo 1 magnum and a halo 2 energy sword.
5546171 ... We are talking about a Spartan that survived a MAC round to the face here...
Very exciting chase scenes.
5546205 Thanks!
5546212 I really liked this. I need more. With the same quality and care you gave both chapters. Just keep doing good man, or woman.
5547127 thanks, but you won't be seeing many clop fics from me. I wrote this due to a lost bet. Plus my other work generally keeps me very busy. Glad you enjoyed the story!
5546179 were talking about a pistol that can one-shot a super carrier.
*Cracking the joints* Alright, let's see. The story is well written, it gives us a good display of the characters and of the situations they are in. The scene of the chase in the storm is pure adrenaline, as we would expect from a situation like that, while the dramatic past of Swift is well described. The last part gave me a 'd'aww moment'. Well done, I hope to see more stories like this and of this quality.
To Ale: U mad big boy?
37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5b1l9gF7m1r3k1m8o1_500.png
I'm considering the idea to make you make a brief appearance in my story... if Req gives me his approval, of course.
5547670 go for it, and thanks!
5547714 Yay! Now Ale...
halofanspage.weebly.com/uploads/1/8/5/4/18544110/1596387_orig.jpg
5547726 XD what have I done!
If I survive from this...
Uh, I'll write more 'fun' times *wink wink* with you and Luna!
... What's the catch?
There will be a very dramatic moment sometime before in which she slaps you.
... How bad?
You're ass will be knocked to the ground.
...Wait, when would we have time for this!? There's a whole squad nearby!
Not if you're in a supply closet.
... You drive a hard bargain. Deal.
5547742
Excellent, now it's time for the introductions. Ale, this is Zhar Vadam.
Wait, Vadam? You mean as-
Yes. Thel is his kaidon as well his combat instructor.
Oh. Is there something in particular that I have to know about him?
Nah, I don't think. He's a quiet guy, who likes to lurk in the shadow and kill Brutes with his bare hands.
... you owe me one, Req.
5547804 *snirks*
5547742
5547804 Uhhh... Role-playing is banned. It has been. For a while now.
5548518 Thanks for the info! Did not realize. I didn't think this was role playing as it was short and it was not an entire story.
5548518 Oops. I missed that post. Thank you for the notice.
5548525
5548536 Wow, I didn't expect people to react calmly to that. Last people I sent that to insulted me multiple times then went to the post to complain. Thanks.
5548598 Really? Well, sorry that happened to you. I don't understand why it's so difficult for people to do something as simple as respect one another. Oh well. Stop by anytime.
5548598 You are welcome.
5548617 That's the Internet. A dangerous place full of as-
fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/129/5/4/sweetie_belle_scrunchy_face_by_assualtpony-d64mu90.png
... asocial meanies, yeah. The behaviour of some people makes me lose my faith in humanity sometimes.
5548669 true, true
well..........................................................................that was........................................................................interesting.
i err...........gotta go do something..........................cheery............... for a while.
*faint*
5549002 Well, I did give it a happy ending.
Well, I don't have much to say other than it was a well written and enjoyable story. I think the best thing imo was that it did have a happy ending.
5549889 thank you!
More, I must have more!
6003957 Glad you liked it
Personally, I found this to be a very touching story. I don't know about anyone else, but I did.
I'm torn between asking for asking for a sequel, and asking for this to be all there is to it. Because, you know, I found the story to be quite good, but I don't see how you can expand on it.
...unless he goes back to search for the rouge he 'asserted dominance over'...
7317140 I've actually had a lot of requests for a sequel. And uh, mainly incest requests. No matter how you feel about that subject, the bottom line for me is that I personally felt satisfied with the ending of this story and see no need to expand upon it.
As for spinoffs? Eh.... unlikely. Maybe. I've got a lot on my plate already. I don't need to be planning anything else.
7317764
I agree. This isn't a cliffhanger or anything unreasonable and you should leave the story here.
Although another part of me does want a sequel where he tells Dawn that he's her father, I think it would be better to leave the story here as much as it goes against my desire to say.
7354170 Sometimes it is better to let the readers find their own endings as many, many real life fictions do. They'll find their own ending, their own message, and their own satisfaction.
I don't care if I'm late to comment, but fucking BRAVO. This is easily the most unique, original, and frankly; well-written story I've read since Past Sins.
Thanks for making my night with this; I should be asleep, I've got work tomorrow, but sleep can fuck right off if I get to read this!
7523946 Well, thank you :) Hope work goes ok lol
7524463 good story bro. Haven't seen too many good thestral stories on fimfic. Kinda sad.
7722182 Thanks :)
7722709 np
OK, I really like this story and would like to see more from you.
A little constructive criticism. There is no doubt in my mind what the name of the OC is. In two chapters you use the word Swift, 306 times. Thats not a joke or an exaggeration, the application that reads me these stories can be asked to give me word counts as well.
This story very much reads like this. "Swift grabbed the pan, then Swift placed the pan on the stove, When Swift was done, Swift then grabbed the basket of eggs. Swift cracked the eggs. "
This isn't unusual for new authors. Its common to think that you have to lead readers by the nose from one point to the next in your story. However readers are better than you think at making connections. Once you indicate an action is done by a character, you can go for pages, without making mention of who is doing the action again, without loosing the reader. This is a very common mistake, don't take it personally.
Again I do love this story, and I really do want to see more from you.'
The Monk
“To say that Twilight Sparkle went bugfuck would be like saying the Incredible Hulk had some mild anger management issues.” -DustTraveller
But they already have four legs