This is a story about Luna breaking her nose.
Rated T for bloody gauze and imagery.
Editorial assistance by Mountain Bell.
For the record, if anyone is curious as to the conversations involving blood in the comments, a topic concerning blood in E rated stories was brought up before this story was published. I tried to submit it as an E rated story, but it was rejected by an unnamed mod who thought that the use of blood in this story was too excessive for the rating. Please feel free to add your own input as well.
Link to topic
Chapters (1)
Ouch. Doorknobs can be real assholes sometimes.
It seems like it could kinda use a little editing:
That second sentence doesn't really sound right to me. I'd remove the 'but', but the whole shellshock thing just seems a little off, too. You'll want to fix 'earthquake', but the sentence seems like too much is trying to be fit into it. If the bit in green was removed, it'd be fine.
Maybe:
When the trio reached the doorway, the guards broke away from their charge, blocked the oak doors, and said, “Your Majesty, I would wait just to make sure it’s safe. We don’t know what happened yet.”
There's a double space in there, too.
There were a few more spots, but I think you get the idea. Since you said you had a general lack of sleep, it probably just needs another pass after getting some sleep...
--Sweetie Belle
Needs some grammar work, but I think SweetAI Belle covered most of that.
I like it in its concept as a cute little one-shot comedy, though.
Still can't believe this needed to be T-rated.
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All depends on the Mod I suppose, The first individual found that it was too objectable to be E, so I changed it. Still, it basically spent 24 hours in the queue to be approved. I think that if we wanted to this could be a prime example for having blood in E stories.
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I never really understood what it felt like to write a one joke blunder hours after first conception until now, so now I can say I did.
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I'll look though it some more when I get some time. All in all from the first word to the last I think this took a maximum of 3 hours to write, 2 of which were done before 5 AM local time.
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I think part of this was thought of when playing Halo: MCC in the remastered Halo 3 campaign. I forgot the doors on crow's nest didn't open automatically, so I ran into one and I started to laugh at the idea that the MC would break his nose on the inside of his helmet after running into a door.
To everyone who commented so far:
latimesblogs.latimes.com/.a/6a00d8341c630a53ef0128759fd303970c-600wi
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Aww, how nice of her. After teasing her younger sister a bit, she decides to have her younger sister take a break instead of having her show up on a meeting with a broken nose.
This was cute. Defiantly not teen material. It's an E story. Silly mods.
I don't understand why it's needed to be rated teen but, I think it's because some mods are way to sensitive about stuff.
Great story, and I can tell the castle maintenance pony is gonna get a call in the morning about fixing Luna's door.
5547466 Reading over it, I can guesstimate it's not really the blood usage, but the mention of "That time of the month" which is definitely not a kid-friendly joke, or insinuation.
5547806 that is what I thought, but when I pressed my reviewer they cited the section where Luna gets her nise reset.
5547818 Well when she's getting her nose reset Celestia makes a joke about periods... or that's what I can tell.
5547923 they copied and pasted the section where the nose is reset, not after.
5547818 Hm... That's ... not really blood... if anyone has had their nose reset, there isn't that much blood. It just hurts. A lot. But it shouldn't linger too long after it.
5549000 I personally didn't have it happen, but i read about it on the web as well as have many bloody noses because of septum issues. What i thought would happen after the nise was reset was the clot would be comming out, but since this was just a lightning round fic I just called it blood.
Cute little slice of life and sisterly love. Of this I approve.
Good, silly but good none-the-less.
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It would have meant something was terribly wrong if it wasn't silly. Stupid, definately. funny, maybe. But silly was the goal.
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latimesblogs.latimes.com/.a/6a00d8341c630a53ef0128759fd303970c-600wi
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This makes me wonder.Why didn't Luna warn Celestia? That would have been nice. Or. Why didn't the just use... Imagination. Seriously, if i had a choice between licking a constantly licked door or using magic what do you think I'd use.
Just saying, not complaining. This was entertaining all in all.
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The first one is that Luna was too embarassed to say she got her ass whooped by a door. As for using her mouth, I have a perfectly logical and 100% genuine reason:
Plot convenience.
5585547 Oh yeah. Most plots have conveniance. Like this one time!, no wait, this is a T rated story. That was just me not picking.
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latimesblogs.latimes.com/.a/6a00d8341c630a53ef0128759fd303970c-600wi
thinkingrightblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/obama-bows.jpg
5587050 Wait. Your Not supposed to bow to Burger King!
I... want to comment. I really do... but all I can say is...
"What."
5600461 I am surprised that you are able to say that much.
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All of it.
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latimesblogs.latimes.com/.a/6a00d8341c630a53ef0128759fd303970c-600wi
thinkingrightblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/obama-bows.jpg
5626665 I... Er... Is there some joke being made at my expense here? 'Cause I don't get it.
5626671 its my way of thanking commenters.
5626676 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nECzNN3fovI&feature=youtu.be
Fimfiction Reading - Luna Breaks Her Nose
i hope its better then the last one,
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latimesblogs.latimes.com/.a/6a00d8341c630a53ef0128759fd303970c-600wi
thinkingrightblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/obama-bows.jpg
Welp.Now we know how Luna broke her nose.
Why is anyone reading this piece of shit?
The have a mom and dad?