After reading Rainbow Factory Condemned, by LordCarn, I felt that the ending wasn't sufficient enough, so here is my extra bit that I felt was needed to do the ending some justice.
This is ultimately my own creation, although it picks of where RFC left off and is a much happier ending than the original. I do not intend to carry this on in second person as it would ruin the whole perspective of the story.
So I give to you, the people of FIMFiction, my ending to Rainbow Factory Condemned by LordCarn.
Chapters (1)
Filly means girl. Please stop using filly for male children. The word you want is either foal, which is baby or child, or colt, which is boy.
Basically saying, "I DONT LIEK DAT RFC STOREE! TIME TO FUCK UP THE ENDING!!1!1!1" Don't go Myaki on that.
Oh and the description is for the actual story synopsis. Save your backstory for the authors notes.
5532808 I corrected myself. Sorry
5532812 Wat da fuq dude? I like the story, it's just that the ending wasn't solid enough. I get that it's trying to get some mystery in the ending, but I felt that it just wasn't enough.
Deadreaderz>> If you post a comment that accuses me of writing bad stuff and saying bad/rude things about me, your comment will be deleted was I don't like people who do that.
Constructive criticism is still welcome though.
5535143
Don't delete comments. Unless he says to kill yourself, you have no right to censor people.
5535928 soz mate. I'll take that into consideration
5535143
Wait did I?
*looks at deleted comment *
Oh, my brother did it. I'm not joking, my bro accidentally comment on my account.
So forgive me if my bro being bad to you.
5536683 I forgive you dude, but relating to the comment, what did your brother say? If it is rude and has swear words, bleep them out or reduce the rudeness.
5536696
IDK.
He never tell me anything about it. I didn't know he comment this until when I find your fanfic.
However, I read your story before I look at the comments.
Now I Read the rainbow factory condemned before and I read the ending again before I read this.
Anyway, on to the story.
Now here's one problem about this, at least to me. Discord's death
Here's my reaction.
"Uhhh, you know, you should be aware that you're fighting Spirit of Chaos that can do things like
This
This
And This (Well he's ill but hey, that sneeze.)
................................................
quickmeme.com/img/0c/0cdf47a3156f74695d9d4750ce2f65a288c79c1528a94ab0269188a6ba2955ae.jpg
Reaction end.
See those are like my reaction to that part, and I find it, well, Bullshit
How can you kill Spirit of Chaos by stabbing him in the chest?
In reality, he could dodge something like this img0.derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/5/10/622828__safe_animated_screencap_discord_magic_hub+logo_twilight%27s+kingdom_spoiler-colon-s04e25_lord+tirek_denied.gif
Unless if you gonna revive Discord on the later chapters like he survive the stab and plans a revenge on him, that will be fair.
If not, then, I'm disappointed.
But that doesn't mean I fully hated the story all because this happens, I'm gonna continue reading to see what happens next until it completed. Then I'll express if I either like or hate it. Or love-hate it. Keep on to your story.
P.S Hope we can see some back story for that Organic-vampire guy.
5537070 I'll think about reviving him much later on, but no promises. As for the back-story, it will be explained in the next chapter. Hope you enjoy it.
5537070 And its techno-organic, as in Sari from TF animated in the episodes where Sondwave puts the Autobots into a dream world and turns them into humans. The vampire was inspired by the main character in Techno Illogic.
NEW CHARACTER! Vinyl Scratch (DJ PON-3) will now be in this story. For reasons that I cannot tell as there will be big spoilers if I do.