• Member Since 18th Nov, 2014
  • offline last seen Feb 14th, 2015

GMSK758


Just a nerd who loves ponies, Gravity Falls, Steven Universe, and Legend of Korra. Uhhh Derpy is best pony. Mabel is best Pines twin. Pearl is best gem. Korra is best avatar.

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The first story in the the head-canon chronicles. This is a tale of Princess Cadance's unhealthy obsession of adrenaline, and what happens when she breaks a law.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 35 )

Wait a minute isn't shining armor royalty now? Doesn't he have to follow the rules too?

He used it to make his reagin over the empire much more miserable for him, increasing his dark magic."

Reign.

5527406 Uhhh thanks. Though that is the point.

It's magic. It's as random as the wether.

I think you meant weather, also...you do remember that it's the pegasi's job to CONTROL THE WEATHER?

I just don't even.

Why would they follow a law made by a tyrant they overthrew, especially one that they defeated through fun and high spirits? This plothole makes it pointless for something such as fun to be illegal for royalty. Now if you said Celestia made it up after a particularily horrid day dealing with other royalty... well this would be a totally different story

And as far as I know, Cadance has more authority than her husband, with him being a consort of hers, not a prince.

5527763 Wethers are unpredictable.

Wether- castrated sheep

I know that's not what he meant.

Is this supposed to be a parody or something?

5527928 Hm, Today I learned...

head-cannon? Cadence has a skull-mounted artillery piece now?

5528121 Not angry, just pointing out a typo.

5528122 Uhh no. A head cannon is something you think belongs in the show's continuity.

Like: "My head cannon is that Twilight has OCD"

Unless you know what it is. And are just trolling me.

5528310 Thanks for pointing that out rage pants. (I kid I kid)

5528670
Canon is a type of dogma. Church canon says...
Cannon is a piece of artillery. The warship has five 106mm cannons.

So now that Cadance has broken the rules, I guess Shining Armor's gonna break it, too. This should be interesting....

Also, your story has a ton of errors that needs fixing, including spelling and commas. Here are the mistakes I found:

I took off right after. Easily cathcing up the larger pony. She flew beside me with a grin on her face, both of her eyes were glued open, and she didn't even look at me.

I took off afterwards, easily catching up to the larger pony. She flew beside me with a grin on her face and with both of her eyes wide open. She didn't even look at me.

I ignored her face, and focused on the race. I shifted my view to ahed of me; there was nothing in front of my but air.

I ignored her face and focused on the race. I turned my head forwards; there was nothing in front of me but air. (You seem to be having trouble placing commas where it isn't necessary or vice versa.)

And again I was knocked by, letting her get ahed of me. I tired to pull myself together, but then, something interesting happened.

Again, I was knocked away, allowing her to get ahead of me. I tried to pull myself together, but then, something interesting happened.

But instead of an array of rainbows filling the air. There was a wave of pink light blasting around me that blew me back.

...filling the air, there was a wave of pink light blasting in front of me...

I lay uncomfortable on my bed.

I laid uncomfortably on my bed. (Don't shift tenses. "Lay" is a present tense.)

"Well well well. Look who decied to wake up. Cheater,"

"Well, well, well. Look who decided to wake up, cheater,"

"Well don't have fun ever again," he said harshly. He walked out of the room.

This part sounds awkward. I suggest changing it to this:

"Then don't have fun ever again," he said harshly. "You just hurt yourself after trying to have 'fun' out there." He walked out of the room with a frown on his face.

5528792 Thanks for pointing out the typos and errors.

(cont'd from previous post)

I turned to face Rainbow Dash. I smiled sheeply. She crossed her arms.

I smiled sheepishly.

"Umm I want know how I got into a full body cast," I asked curious.
"Easy. You crashed into the shield spell your husband had up. How else do you think he found out?"

"Um, I want to know how this happened," I asked curiously.
"You crashed into the shield spell your husband had up. How else do you think he found out?" (Changing the quote completely is not necessary. It's just my suggestion, though.)

I smiled in reilf.

I smiled in relief.

"Though. I did see your husband buying some stuff at the store."

"There's something you need to know," said Rainbow Dash. "I saw your husband buying some stuff at the store when he heard that you broke the rules on royalty." (This is just my version of how the story should come to an end, with Cadance being the first royalty to break the rules, causing other royalties to join in the fun. Since you're writing the series, however, you should decide with whatever quote best fits the ending scene.)

"Whoopee cushions, feathers, pies, rubber chickens, and a cannon. I think he's going to prank you."

"Whoopee cushions, feathers, pies, rubber chickens, and a cannon. I think he's going to try and pull a prank on you."

That's all of the errors I found. With that said, good luck on your future works.

Head-cannon Chronicles: Cadence the adrenaline junkie and rule breaker

The first story in the the head-cannon chronicals.

Let's see. We have:

- Misspelled character name (it's Cadance; but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt on this one, as a LOT of people misspell her name)
- Ignorance of the difference between cannon and canon
- Misspelled "chronicles" in the story description
- Title has severe capitalization failure (unless that's intentional, which is permissible on a case-by-case basis)

Yyyyyeah not touching this.

5529588 Uhhh ok? You didn't have to say you wouldn't read it. Just, don't read it. :rainbowhuh:

5529608 This was me pointing out that if you want people to read your story, you need to at least proofread the title and description. :facehoof:

5529652 Oh. Well I feel stupid :twilightoops:.
Anyway I fixed it now. So thank you, Mr.Moth. upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/5/5c/TT_killer_moth.jpg

5529588
Which is what I pointed out...

5530964 To be fair he was out right specific. I just thought you were poking fun at the word "head-canon".

5536561
I fail to see how you could draw that conclusion.

5536610 .............was that sarcasm?

5537787 Yeah, I think I win the comment section.

I shifted my view forward; there was nothing ahed but air.
mispelled, its ahead.

5538603 thanks for pointing that out.

VGI

Nicely written, short, light-hearted story with two perspectives.


Interesting take. I may try it one day.

Possible errors to correct:
1. Followed by it was an array of light colored by the colors of a rainbow.

2. Use of the words "preform" and "ahed". There are more than one instance. Perhaps you meant "perform" and "ahead"?

3. "Why would Tia approve such a stupid decision?" - forgot to press TAB?

4. "Well well well. Look who deiced to wake up. Cheater," Rainbow Dash insulted.
- decided

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