• Member Since 16th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen 40 minutes ago

MysteriousStranger


TwiShy, AppleDash and Rarixie lover and writer. Also a gamer. Something else you need to know is that I'm strongly against Alicorn Twilight.

Sequels1

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Source

Twilight Sparkle visits a hospital for handicapped children as part of her royal duties. There, she mets a young colt whose body is disabled from the waist down. Twilight won't rest until she helps the poor colt to have a better life.

This story was inspired by a comic I read a long while ago, I was able to find it thanks to someone in Fanfiction. The link has been moved to the Author's Note to avoid mayor spoilers :raritywink:

Cover can be found here.

This story has now a sequel! Check it out here! :pinkiehappy:

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 46 )

It would have been better if it were longer, like more build up and what not. :derpyderp1:
Grammar errors were there, but it wasn't unreadable. :derpyderp2:
I did like the moral of the story though. :twilightsmile:

5535998 As I said, I didn't want it to be too long, forcing me to split it in two :applejackunsure:
I apologize about grammar. At least it doesn't makes your eyes bleed, right...? :rainbowderp:
Anyway, I hope to see you in my other fics... if you like the shippings I do :rainbowlaugh:

Second time reading this (first was on Fan Fiction this morning) and i think you did a good job.
Now as you know i'm not very much warming up to this idea but you have manged to change my mind before (tho not on this matter i'm afraid) But i'm very open minded and adept to new idea's. and for what it it worth i'll give this fic a 8/10 :moustache:

Now i have to ask. Is Tirek defeated in this time line? cause if not well Equestria is very much doomed.
But for now i have to go to my fic and start the writing on that one.
~Tobben

5536400 Of course he is. There should be another way to defeat him. I mean, Twilight just gave up her wings, not much happened.

When I saw the title i was like :pinkiehappy:.
After i read the story, i was like :rainbowkiss:

5537443 When I saw that you commented, I was like :pinkiehappy:

Interesting story.
Does this mean twilight is still a princess? Or back to a regular unicorn?

5537848 Actually... I don't know. I mean, I despise the fact that she also has wings, but, I really don't know much about Princesshood... although, sometimes people decide to resign their crown for an X situation... I mean, Twilight being royalty means more work and less time for her friends, so... yeah, you can think what you like, but I'm leaning more to back to regular Unicorn :rainbowlaugh:

5537891
she can still be a princess.
Look at *shutters* blueblood. hes a disgusting prince who is a unicorn.

5537901 But he's a Stallion. The creators probably make Alicorns to mares only. I mean, Shining Armor is married to Princess Cadence and he's still a Unicorn. And he achieved a lot.
Besides, it seems that ponies ascend when they achieve something really important, so, I think that that's why Blueblood is still a Unicorn. He does nothing :trixieshiftleft:

5537910
Iv always had a head canon that shining will ascend into princehood, like giving up his life to save the empire and waking up where twilight went to become a princess.

5537917 Probably. I mean, I really don't know how it works :applejackunsure:
But if that happens, it will be another change I will hate :rainbowlaugh:

5536465
Another somewhat important question that i should have asked when i found out about this is: Why?
I mean i guess you have you'r reasons for not liking her but any particular reason why?
~Tobben

5537891

back to a regular unicorn

:unsuresweetie: I can work with wingless alicorn but a unicorn would not have the magical capacity to vessel three (four) alicorns worth of alicorn magic and if she can not do that she will be at a loss against Tirek. She will not be able to mach him blow for blow and once he corners her she will be lacking the bargaining chip needed to teach discord a lesson as well as learn the final lesson herself meaning they will never earn the final key unlocking the chest and beating Tirek meaning he wins :raritydespair::raritycry::fluttercry::twilightangry2:.
If you nerf her back to how she was I will be forced to say "I can not let you do this" as it will endanger the safety of equestria. As it stands here a wingless alicorn twilight will be able to take the magic and battle Tirek as equals the only difference between the two fights is execution.
(and you will be forced to replace the golden oak with a castle we know nothing about. Should be able to work with it better after the season five episode focusing on dealing with the loss of the library till then ...:applejackconfused:)
as long as the wing is the only thing you removed we should be fine.:twilightsmile:

Oh and undoing princess twilight will mean everything that happened until now would have been for naught.

5538907 Are you really opening that conversation again? I thought that I left everything clear on the PMs.

5539337 Well, giving up her wings doesn't means that she gives up her magic as it is. She's very powerful already and she keeps incrementing her powers. The wings are for fashion, she doesn't really needs them.

Wow...what a simple yet wonderfully emotional story. I thought you did a good job overall and I thought the pacing was good and the characterisations were on par. Would you have ever considered writing a sequel?

-Frost:pinkiesmile:

5580344 Thank you so much! :twilightsmile:
And, not really. I wanted this one to be my only non-romance fic. If I write a sequel, I would surelly ruin in by adding a shipping, and I don't want that, not with this particular fic.
I know that there's more to be done with Twilight and Dusk, like introducing him to her friends, but, I don't think I will ever do it. Sorry :applejackunsure:

It's a good fic mate :twilightsmile:
(see I can comment on fics) :pinkiehappy:

5686464 Yeah, but long after you read it :rainbowlaugh:
Thanks :twilightsmile:

5686482 you should just be happy I commented :raritywink:

This was a nice piece with a great moral. It made me smile.
I you did a good job translating the comic into a story.
I am glad that you took the time to make it.
I will fave it.
Thanks again.

5746642 I thought that the comic was very well done and, since then, it had become my headcanon of how Twilight gives up her wings, if it ever happens :twilightsmile:
It deserved a fic adaptation :pinkiesmile:

Interesting. I would like to see a longer version where there is more build up in their relationship. Still it is nice.

8404266 Thanks!
And about their relationship, someone else also thought the same, so I'll tell you the same. I didn't want the story to be too long, forcing me to split it into two chapters. I'm glad that you liked it anyway! :pinkiesmile:

8404367
Makes sense. There is much to be said for brevity.

8404469 4000 words is the lenght I more or less feel comfortable with. Nowadays I can write 5000 or even 6000 words in a chapter, but back then, I didn't have the experience I have now :duck:

8404933
I write character intros for various d&d games or similar. I tend to find being long winded is more my problem.

8405122 I'll admit describing characters isn't my fort, which is why I mostly work with canon characters :twilightsmile:

8405151
By intros I meant short stories that have an initial adventure or something that takes place before the campaign. I find it helps me to settle into the character and also helps the GM to have a bit of background to pull from.

I liked the story, why don’t you make a sequel.

8405241 I never intended this story to have a sequel :ajsmug:

8405420
Well, you should. I think this storie deserves a sequel.

8407270 Maybe one day. But I'm not making promises.

This was a great story! And also, I'm not a fan to Alicorn Twilight either. Heck I don't even like that ugly tree castle she has. (it doesn't even look like a castle!)

9131278 She should never have gotten it nor have changed. You're going to love the sequel :pinkiesmile:

9131281
Exactly!
And I did read the sequel, and I loved it too! That was so much better than using the roots of the tree to make a chandelier.
Plus I admit, I wish they could've done with Golden Oaks Library what they did to Spongebob's house in "Home Sweet Pineapple"

9131288 True, but nope! Twilight just got over her loss and forgot all about her real home... :ajbemused:
I really appreciate your comment. Knowing that there's still more people out there who feel like me really brings a smile to my face :pinkiesmile:

9131316
Good to hear!
And I will share that one universe I made Twilight was turned into an alicorn and got that ugly Tree Castle, but then later she quit being a princess and got turned back into a unicorn. And her home, her real home was restored as if Tirek never destroyed it, as for the Castle, it got blown up by a Sith Lord's superweapon. (which is kinda like the Death Star)

9131318 A happy ending. Thanks for sharing! :pinkiehappy:

9131322
Thanks. And I do admit Twilight was a little annoyed with how the Castle was blown up. (not because of it being blown up, but that the very Sith Lord who did would have the gall to) However Twilight didn't even try to go ballistic on the Sith Lord as she once engaged her but lost.

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