"One must do all they can depending on the situation."
That's what I always say to myself, at least. Me? I'm just a trainer who aim to defeat every single champion and become the strongest. That's the goal that I carry with me until the end of time. One day, a massive world changing event occured. Of all the thing I expected to happen, this isn't one of them. A new world where peace rules with iron fist, diverse inhabitants, even meeting a new friend. Because of that, a lot of things happen to me.
My name is Eric Angelo, this is my story....no...our story. Our legend where everything begins anew.
I would like to thank you zeusdemigod121, for inspiring me to write my own side story. And for pre-reading
I would like to thank you tdnpony, evowizard25, berry tenebre, kingofsouls for proof-reading and editing as well.
Keep in mind that this is a revamped version of the original. I felt I should write a better, more refined version.
It's probably no excuse, but I'm not a native English speaker. I'm not perfect with grammar.
Cover art is by yours truly, again. Background is not mine, I picked it up from google.
Extra
O'Mega Artwork :
Eric with Mega Sally, the Dreaded Dragon (Artwork is by yours truly, background is still not mine, I picked it from google. I just added a little bit of things into the original background such as the flaring light)
[img]http://th07.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2015/055/a/4/a4c28b87776813c26f9b4394f1412271-d8imlre.jpg[/img]
Sylvia with Mega Kenneth, the Unseen Dragon
[img]http://pre00.deviantart.net/e5a6/th/pre/f/2015/189/0/5/054be867ddaf7ebeff876a06d1c24549-d8jjusi.jpg[/img]
![http://th07.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2015/055/a/4/a4c28b87776813c26f9b4394f1412271-d8imlre.jpg[/img]](http://th07.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2015/055/a/4/a4c28b87776813c26f9b4394f1412271-d8imlre.jpg[/img]){kind=link}
![http://pre00.deviantart.net/e5a6/th/pre/f/2015/189/0/5/054be867ddaf7ebeff876a06d1c24549-d8jjusi.jpg[/img]](http://pre00.deviantart.net/e5a6/th/pre/f/2015/189/0/5/054be867ddaf7ebeff876a06d1c24549-d8jjusi.jpg[/img]){kind=link}
lots of promise.
keep up the good work
That's better than the last version. Glad I was able to help you.
definitely looks good cant wait to read more
Definitely want to see more.
...Sally the Salamence...
great chapter as always
keep up the good work
amazing chapter as always
keep up the good work
5578002
Thank you for your repeated comment. I seriously appreciate it.
great chapter as always
well worth the wait.
so...the truth comes out....
keep up the good work as always
So this is the original story that Alice and her merry gang of theives ran into in Vanhoover. I just stumbled across it while going through the New World story folders.
5643545
Yeah, been planning some more crossovers as well
And the God Speech
poor Sally..
And all of the foals now have a new toy!
thestral!
Shut up brain! no nit-picking!
kinda already knew what happened cuz i read tdn's comic as well, but it's still nice to see the story these guys' points of view
5830909
Thanks, I appreciate your comments so far.
You need an editor.
Check tense and phrasing, they go wacky on regular basis and it's really a shame with the good qualities this story possess.
5830982
I know, but it's kinda hard finding good editors these days
dawwww
Does anyone else think Eric is just a little bit of a PSYCO!!!
I like it!
still angry at you for using the term bat pony...
But I like it!!!
I'm starting to see a pattern, yet, I'm still missing some vital pieces here, like why Eric and co. would react so violently, towards a thief, okay, an infamous one, but still just a thief none the less. (what was stolen from Sally?) To the author, no need to tell, that would be spoiling.
Also, is it just me or isn't his methods rather blunt and a tad over the top? When it comes to method, he could learn a thing or two from Fox. Which sounds odd considering she treats it all like a giant magic show.
5852045
Eric seems to have a somewhat war like mentality and has apparently completely forgotten that "Taking the law into ones own hands" is considered illegal for good reasons. He's almost out there where 'when all means is permitted to fight an evil, one becomes indistinguishable from the evil one set out to destroy.'
Side note; why the flying buck doesn't English have a word for 'Selvtægt' why does it need a whole sentence?
I'm sorta hoping that someone, fittingly perhaps Jonathan, though that seems unlikely, will at some point knock him up and set him down, to have a good long talk about what exactly it is he thinks he's doing.
Eric's going to get it when the law gets him.
Assault, Property damage, brainwash and 'selvtægt.'
5856224
Don't worry Zilverfloss, oh, Eric will have a long-talk alright. If a little bit later.
Also, to explain a little, Eric is a pragmatist, a realist if you will. He does what he thinks is right, no matter if anyone likes it or not.
Pragmatist Hero trope. While he certainly has morals, he is impulsive, not caring if anyone likes his method or not because of it, he knows despite his heroic tendencies, he is far from being called a hero
great chapter as usual
You're getting better writing wise
Though, you still have some odd tense and phrasing at times. Like when Eric recalls the museum encounter and suddenly starts using present tense.
Erm, was this intentional?
A word of advice, check for redundant and skipped information helps the story flow.
For example.
P.s. I take all blame for opinions aired in this comment
the second comma shouldn't be there
it confused me for a second
other than that, it was cool to have a backstory chapter
great chapter as usual
6001869
Thanks
great chapter as always
I keep reading Reynard in Alfred voices
6173466
You're not the only on. Lol
she never finishes her sentence
it just ends at although
In the Everfree Forrest, Arceus Sneezed.
" "sigh" I Arceus hereby bless this this being with good luck yadda yada yadda"
what Arceus Didnt know however, is that Mew used his Brief distraction to sneak a look at his cards.
Arceus, God of the Pokemon World, would not be victorious that night.
coincidentally, Mew would later be seen with a large bag of sweets that seemed to mysteriously stay full...when asked about the origins of such a miraculous Bag, she only grinned
My theory on why they are doing vigilante "justice":
After Sally grew into a salamence, she pressured the team into hunting down the people that killed her mother. Only, the hunters were arrested years before or the cops came when they were trying to take them out, which wasn't enough for Sally. So she start encouraging more of these attacks on large criminals until it became routine, each time trying to get a kill but kept getting held back by her team. My theory is that Sally isn't causing this routine for justice, but to satisfy her bloodlust.
6181272
Well, not exactly, but it was more than that.
As for Eric's motive, see chapter 18 I just posted. Questions are answered there.
As for Sally's motive, she is doing it because.....yeah, you kinda guessed right
, so I won't say anything to justify it, but please don't get me wrong. She does hate them, but her loyalty to Eric wins over it, hence why she stops herself when he gave the command to stand down, Eric never condone anything that involves taking the lives of another, and definitely not by his or any of his team's hands.
Listen to the ending while looking at the 'photo'. It goes surprisingly well
That explains why the description felt a bit... I want to say "stilted" for some reason... um... "forced"? "Blocky"? "less flowy"? I don't know. It just felt... a tiny bit... off. Like the voice I was reading it in didn't have much emotion in it... Probably the emotion took a wrong turn during the translation process (even if said translation was in your head).
I don't really know. I'm just rambling at this point.
Second "ran" should be "run"
"ran" is the past tense of "run", "run" is the present tense and future tense (will run, running, trying to run, ran away, etc.).
I would either take that out or re-word it, I'm not an English major (Computer Science is my major), but I know that that sentence is missing something...
Maybe have it:
"Talking to someone on the Xtranseiver (Xtrainseiver? I don't know which is the correct spelling) while walking undeterred into the night, the assailant (maybe "figure" would work better here?) heard the distant sound of police sirens rolling into the villa."
Other than those... grammar flops? I guess? The premise of the story so far is great!
Don't worry to much about my criticism regarding sentence structure and such, English was my least favorite class in school because of the rules that seemed to keep on changing to me. (This way is the correct way except on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Holidays don't count, same goes for days of the month who's number is prime)
"Was the stone embedded within"?
"there's" is "there is" not "there was"
"Custom"
Second "fell" should either be "fall" or the whole second sentence should be more like "When did I fall asleep?" as "Since when" implies that he NEVER fell asleep before in his life...
Also, please put spaces separating " and anything other than the sentence they're around? For example,
should be
*Occurred
Either the mistakes are decreasing or I'm just getting used to them, like how people adapt to understanding different accents.
The only issue I noticed in this chapter was a few missing spaces...
*Start understatement* Not bad *End understatement*
... putting your mind into your work?
I've heard of putting your heart into your work but your mind?
Guess I shouldn't be surprised by this. Different languages and all... I mean have you seen "Let it Go according to Google Translate"? So many mis-translations!
Yes, avians do have wings that let them fly. That is the correct definition of the word "avian" 10 points.
Seriously though, avian means flying, so you basically wrote "a flying Pokémon with wings that lets them fly"
I... huh? That's a new one... although, yes, you do need a life to fulfill your needs...
If you meant that being fried wasn't one of the things he wanted to do or that he still had things he wanted to do in his life then that makes sense... YAY DIFFERENT CULTURAL WORDING THINGS!!!
Sorry, dealing with Grammar problems always frustrates me...
Did you pre-read this before you hit submit, or did you turn off spell check and grammar check and just type stream of conscious style? Because if you didn't do the former but did do the latter, it shows. So very many errors, mistakes, and grammar bad enough you actually managed to make me notice it enough to speak up about it. I don't notice grammar, and this was almost painful to read. Please get an editor to look at this, for the sake of people getting past the first chapter.
6474601 Well....uhm, I have no dedicated editor exactly. I have Zeus and tdnpony helping me, but they can overlook things as they are by any means a dedicated editor and it's hard to find one. So...I have no excuses for this. I'll try to improve on the grammar and spelling checks though, no worries.
But I make no promises. It's kinda my quirk, I always tend to overlook things when I'm focused on something.
. Sorry about that.
Didn't it say in the pokedex this thing can wreck cities? Those ponies are lucky only to be unconscious
So sally thinks that a 5 minute run in with fox makes her more prepaired for her than the people that have been facing her for years.
Eric and most of his party belong in a mental asylum
So eric can not understand that the cop was trying to stop the criminal that was willing to torch a whole building along with anyone inside of it in order to get what he wants.
If he is stronger than he looks than he must be hulk level becuase he looks like the pseudo legendary hydrogein