980- Saw
Big Bucks walked into the studio just as I brought the ax down and split the fake pony head in half, spraying myself with red syrup and food coloring.
"Yep, works like a charm." I said with a smile. I looked to the side to see Big Bucks staring with me with a dropped jaw. His cigar had fallen out of his mouth. "Uh... yeah this is exactly what it looks like."
"You just killed that pony!"
"Relax, it's just oobleck and wax." I yanked the ax out of the fake brain matter and set it on the ground. "I'm just making sure the special effects for my next movie aren't half-assed."
Big Bucks gave a nervous gulp. "Well, okay then. You had me going there for a second. This is for that Saw movie you're making, right?"
"Uh huh, we start filming next week. We should have it done in a couple months just in time for Nightmare Night."
"You really think you can get this done by then?"
I picked up a towel from a table and started wiping the fake blood off my face. "Oh yeah, definitely. This movie's super cheap, the budget's only one million, and the final running time should only be a little over an hour. An hour and twenty minutes tops."
"Aren't you also working on another movie about dragons? Doing two movies at once is hard work, especially for a guy new to the business such as yourself."
"Oh I've already got the script and miniature cities finished for that. All we have to do is hire a cast and start filming. That should be done around, oh... next year summer."
"That's a tight deadline. You better be able to handle it."
Opening day for Saw was one week before Nightmare Night. By the time the movie was over, one-fourth of the audience had run out of the theater screaming, one-fourth had fainted, one-fourth was trying to recover from violently puking, and the last fourth was sitting rigid in their seats with clenched teeth and wide eyes.
Meanwhile I was just sitting back in my seat with my front hooves behind my head and one leg crossed over the other, humming a tune.
"Most ponies are so ungrateful to be alive. But not you, not anymore."
"AAAAAHHH!!!"
"Game over!" Jigsaw closed the door.
"AAAAAHHH!!!"
The end credits started playing so I got up and stretched. "Well that was fun. Who's up for dinner? I'm paying."
Big Bucks, who had been sitting next to me, threw up on the floor. "HURAAAAGH!"
"I'll take that as a no then."
Saw didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped. It only made 20 million at the box office and reviews were mixed with a leaning towards the negative. Turns out that little ponies really don't like gorefest snuff films and downer endings. Oh sure Mare Do Well also had a downer ending, but there was still some hope. Saw on the other hand had a straight up hopeless ending and the villain won.
Maybe I shouldn't be too dark and edgy with the movies I'll be making. I'll become predictable and the ponies will be apathetic towards any of my projects. Well, I guess that means no Saw sequel, not that I was gonna do one anyways. Not to say I won't do other horror stories...
A few days later I was sitting in front of Big Buck's desk. Big Bucks himself was there in front of me, head facing downwards and with his hooves in his face. "Please don't do anything like Saw again." He said in a tired tone.
"Okay." I said.
Big Buck's head snapped up towards me with a hopeful expression. "Really?"
"Well, I definitely plan on doing other horror films in the future with plenty of blood and guts, but I'm gonna make it a point to make sure they all have a happy ending, or at least a bittersweet ending. In hindsight Saw's ending was a bit of a downer."
"A bit of a downer?! That was the most depressing ending ever! Even worse than Mare Do Well! No wonder the box office tanked!"
"We made twenty million out of a one million budget. I call that a success."
"The critics hated your movie."
"...Okay now that was uncalled for."
"John, this is just my way of saying be careful. Sure Mare Do Well made a billion, and that made you and I really happy. But you wanna know what that really was? Beginner's luck. I can tell you're very creative with your ideas, I mean, just look at Love on Wings!"
"I really don't want to talk about that movie."
"Regardless, you took what should have been a failure and managed to make a decent profit out of it. I've put a lot of faith in you John, but someday you're gonna make a movie that will alienate the audience, and it's gonna flop."
"And then what? You and every other executive are just gonna drop me like a hot potato?"
"... Not exactly, but it's gonna be a black mark on your permanent film record. Look at it this way: that twenty million you made off of Saw? Oh sure we can count that as a success, but only because the budget was a measly one million. What if it was one hundred million, hm?"
I narrowed my eyes. "I'm not gonna screw up that badly."
Big Bucks regarded me for a moment as he puffed his cigar. "I don't want to be that bad guy here John, but in this business, anyone can fall. Countless directors have started their careers with a series of hits, only to make that one dud that completely ruins them. Very few actually have a lengthy career."
I felt like a school kid getting lectured. I splayed my ears down and looked to the floor.
"Oh hey c'mon don't be like that," Big Bucks said, "I'm just trying to give you some pointers so you can survive. Let's just look back on this as an example of what not to do: making movies like Saw."
I nodded my head a few times. "Yeah, okay. But I'm still gonna do more scary movies!"
"As long as they don't end like Saw, I'm A-OK with that. Say, I just remembered, how's that dragon movie you're making coming along? Gojyra, was it called?"
"You mean Gojira, and we actually just started pre-production right now. I'm looking for ponies to play the Equestrian part of the cast so we can film their scenes, and we're in the middle of building accurate replicas of real life cities."
"Hold up. What do you mean 'the Equestrian part of the cast'?"
"Only a few of the main characters are actually going to be ponies. I'm also looking for foreign dragon and kirin actors."
"And how do you plan on doing that?"
"By flying to Neighpon with my crew, of course."
Two months later I was at the airport with most of the cast and crew for Gojira. We were going to fly over to Neighpon, find the actors for the kaiju, film any scenes that took place in Neighpon, and then fly back to Equestria to finish filming.
So we all got molested by the TSA (Some shit never changes, no matter what universe), boarded the plane (Yeah turns out Equestria has had airliners for almost a decade) and we took flight.
Back on Earth, I've flown about five times (ten if you count the return flights) so I was used to the sensation of taking off. Apparently it was going to be a ten hour flight to Neighpon, so I brought a couple of books along and a small pillow for sleeping. Although, if I am to assume that Earth and this world are roughly equivalent, with Equestria being America and Neighpon being Japan, then this world must be smaller in size. On Earth a flight from California to Japan takes about twelve hours, while here it's only ten, and I could tell just from looking that pony planes are WAY more primitive and slower than modern human planes.
Besides myself, the pegasi seemed at ease, for obvious reasons. The earth ponies and other unicorns seemed really nervous, though. One of our new guys on the camera crew, an earth pony named Film Reel, was sitting right next to me. He looked super jittery.
"First time flying?" I asked him.
Film Reel looked at me and nodded. "Y- yeah. Just a little scared."
"You'll get used to it. First you'll feel tingly in your stomach, then your ears will hurt from the air pressure, then you'll be bored out of your mind. It's not that bad."
"You speak like you have a lot of experience flying."
"That's because I do. I've actually been to Neighpon before, while filming Mare Do Well."
"Oh yeah the scene where she trains in that temple!"
"Exactly."
"So what's Neighpon like?"
"Beautiful scenery, great food and hilarious anime."
"What's anime?"
"Anime is basically animation, like cartoons, but not like cartoons."
"What do you mean?"
"It's hard to precisely explain. I like to look at it like this: Cartoons are typically more child friendly and play it safe, while Anime, while also willing to be child friendly, is perfectly willing to take risks and tell more mature stories. Another thing-"
The plane started moving.
"Hold that thought, we're taking off." I had the window seat. You always stop what you're doing to look out the window if you have the window seat.
Neighpon, here we come!
Stats
Page generated in 0.033 seconds
Total duration
826 users online
1,308,893 hits today, 2,814,898 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
"Ha ha!" - My entire reaction to ... well almost every part of this story. With various lilts in tone. None so negative however.
6033949
Oh. Oh yes, that would fit quite nicely.
OK, I'll admit, I'm liking this a lot more than I thought I would. Keep up the great work!
Gattaca
The Dirty Dozen, or The Big Red One
Children of Men
6005503
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/590/195/bc0.png
What if he got to do an inception movie with luna's dreamwalking?
Great chapter. Look's like Saw was just to much for Ponies. How about the movie Rat Race.
I'm curious will you just be using movies that actually exist, or have him do some movies of his own creation?
Like maybe turning cartoons and anime from his world into movies on Equestria.
Like make movies out of the shows Avatar Last Airbender, Jackie Chan Adventures, or Storm Hawks.
I know their was a Avatar Last Airbender movie. But let's be honest compared to the cartoon it sucked.
6081999
I can imagine her yelling at him for twisting the dreams of ponies when they start having nested dreams after seeing it.
They would be a bitch to curate
Oh-ho-ho, this is gold. Can't wait to see all their reactions to when Godzilla himself appears on the screen for the first time:
Movies that might be fun; Red, Die Hard, Tombstone, True Grit, Star Wars, Star Trek. Hmmm maybe 6th sense?
other movie suggestions
A Nightmare on Elm St. (original)
Alien
Akira
Predator
Les Miserables
(some film about the French Revolution)
Platoon
All Quiet on the Western Front
6082227
So we should avoid using a pun based on one of the native Japanese terms for their country and instead use one based both on foreign translations of foreign translations and a breed of horse from northern Spain?
If you can explain how any of that makes sense I would love to hear it.
Holy crap, this is amazing.
Would it be cheesy to say that I feel like those times whenever you exit the theater and want a squeal?
Or is it just me?
can i make a suggestion? Ghost in the shell plz.
Hmm, I expected as much.
The Mare do Well one was all very well and good, you adapted it to a pony culture, worked out a number of details, and so on, it was a very new concept, and despite how, well, mature it was compared to pony standards, it is a good movie overall, it draws you in with it's edgy atmosphere, and who can seriously saw that the Joker wasn't a special kind of character on screen?
But Saw... when you have a movie that most people flinch at, did he honestly think it would strike well with these ponies? Maybe it has a cult following, but in peace filled Equestria, showing stuff like this is the equivalent of the first movie, simply a train moving towards the camera, it SHOCKS ponies by how realistic it is.
Yeah... I mean, I would have suggested such a piece myself, but more in the period of time where he has adjusted ponies minds to the idea.
Saw to Equestria... is literally giving a sideshow of every bloody, scary and violent scene in the world to a toddler and asking 'How was that?'
Sorry dude, your going to have to play smarter with your movies, ease them into this serious style you have going, or... well, I'd say that it WAS a profit... but again, like Big Bucks said, you have to think the 'what ifs'
Just because you make a bunch of money off a movie does not mean it's a good movies for the world, heck, THIS place doesn't even have a restricted rating in place! Think a little here.
... So yeah, I just gave advice to a fictional character in a fictional universe, weird.
I'm thinking a nice comedy after Gojira, I know, I know, you want to be dark and serious, you want to be gritty and all, but please, you wrote a sappy love comedy, PLEASE make a good one from this world?
TAKE MY MONEY! ALL OF IT!
6081999 This was set before Luna returned, so doing a movie with her might raise some awkward questions with Celestia.
OK, I've said it before and I will say it again, do Soylent Green. The ponies would completely flip their lids. I also wonder how they would react to a movie version of Fallout Equestria?
Here is my request for movies:
Saving Private Ryan - It's very emotional.
Olympus has Fallen - You can literally destroy Canterlot Castle, and have Celestia as a guest to the film.
Edge of Tomorrow - Live! DIE! REPEAT! The whole emotional thing between the main character and the main female character was very heart warming, espeshal since he has to see her die over and over, before he can save the day.
Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels.
Crime comedy with a funny yet ambiguous ending.
Make the entire Star Wars saga, but make the prequels better than the ones we have here.
6083312 Hmm. How would groundhog day work as a movie in equestria? That'd probably be hilarious.
I vote to make either Deadpool, Ghost Rider, The Hulk, Iron Man, or the Insergent series into some of the pony movies that you could do.
I'd like to see The Usual Suspects or Groundhog Day.
I would actually like to see John Carter, mostly because A- I've been a huge Edgar Rice Burroughs fan since I was a kid, and B- It's been the source and inspiration for many Hollywood writers and directors over the years. Especially Tarzan, and the Mars and Pellucidar series.
Hmm, actually *any* of those night be good...
shit long movie list
the godfather series
pulp fiction
star wars
back to the future
apocalypse now
psycho
Schindler's list
fight club
no country for old men
the hurt locker
the ternimator
interstellar
2000: A Space Odesy
the shining
zero dark thirty
gravity
inception
the sixth sense
rescue dawn
platoon
the usual suspects
memento
jacobs ladder
sorry for the long movie list ;(
Shutter Island
'Stoker
Marnie
The Silence of the Lambs
No Country for Old Men
Dirty Harry
Trapped
Back to the Future
Blade Runner
Alien
all films of Studio Ghibli
I just discovered this out of nowhere, but I am totally following this!
But also, in terms of this:
I think you should totally do The Sixth Sense and Unbreakable!
Sunshine!
Celestia's ill, the sun is darkening, and a team of ponies go on a space voyage to the sun in order to "reignite" it (with super nuclear bombs or some magic stuff or whatever).
I think that the hype for this is kind of misplaced. You obviously have a great talent for comedy, how more times than not I'm laughing out loud, but a little more exposition would only help. Do a bit of scenes during the filming where something funny happens, like an actor throws a fit, or a cameraman falls off a chair or SOMETHING, to gain a little more popularity and KEEP IT as well. Other than the less than lengthy chapters and some other things, I think you're doing a wonderful job. Keep it up.
Terminator
Jackass
Fury
Borat
Total Recall
Knocked up
Mix up some comedies with some of the more gritty movies.
Do these movies
Transformers
Jurassic Park or World, don't matter.
Star Wars
The Matrix
Alien
Silence of The Lambs
Friday the 13th
and, Terminator.
I've really enjoyed reading this so far! Can't wait for the next chapter.
The Thing - The John Carpenter version. It can be about a changeling, and could be called "The 'Ling"
A Nightmare on Elm St. - This can be about Nightmare Moon
Jurassic Park - It can be about dragons also
Les Miserables - surprise me?
A Christmas Carol - Of course this would be more later, and would be just the same but with ponies.
If you're looking for a masterful horror movie that has a bittersweet ending that I think even the ponies could handle, I suggest Halloween. That movie is a thriller masterpiece.
soooooo... more?
also, national treasure. i would like to see what celestia does about a movie that has to do with stealing a priceless artifact so that you can steal more priceless artifacts.
Beyond the reaction to the movie, it'd actually be interesting to see the production of the films. I mean, I'd imagine the process would be a lot different for them than it would be for us, it'd be cool to see how he adapts human methods to their methods. Plus they'd probably be farther behind in regards to production value.
So, this is more of a suggestion, not a movie idea.
Now if you, after your Avengers/Justice League movie, decide to make a Phase 2 of your MCU, then you should make the original X-Men movie, one of the films. Then you could have the CA;WS post credit scene in there, only you could go all out and call Quicksilver and Scarlet Witch Mutants and Magneto's kids, now that the whole copyright BS doesn't exist in this world. Just saying :) .
Also if you decide, to do Age of Ultron, you should totally still do the Godzilla vs Mare-Do-Well fight…but have this world's hulk buster, be Mecha-Godzilla :D
hmm for another nightmare night movie, maybe have a nightmare at elm street but include luna as a character trying to corner and fight back against him
I'm somewhat more interested in the meta story of the main character. We're set about twenty years before the show canon, are we going to be following him though those twenty years? At the rate he's making movies he might have 25 to 30 films made by then. Would he take a break from applewood and "retire" to Ponyville in order to catch up with the mane six and their lives, or would he want to stay away to messing with future history?
Please come back to life.
I miss you
6448412 One of the most saddest moments in cartoon history.
This is brilliant, and I want more.
Probably not going to happen for a while though, based on when the last chapter was posted...
Ku fu panda any body?
A movie adaptation of Mass Effect. That is all.
Star wars, with earth ponies.
STAR WARS
STAR TREK
Cowboys and Aliens
I would like to see their reaction with these three movies
I can't WAIT for the next chapter it will be AWESOME
6948199 Dont... he has not made one in over 9 months...
I was thinking of making my own spin off of this, but I can't pull myself to do it, since I am already doing other things.
6948786 Dammit!
Are they anywhere Neighpon yet?!!
No!??
Okay...