• Published 15th Jan 2015
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Equestria Was Merely a Setback! - Thunderscourge



Trixie, stranded from Equestria and in a mysterious land named Azeroth, tries to get by day by day...but it'd be easier if there weren't so many Crack Elves, zombies, and pesky gnomes getting in her way! Comedy/satire crossover with World of Warcraft

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Levels 28-29: The Crusade Strikes Back

A/N: Special thanks to Amethyst Blade, ShadeTail, the other sans, Housecarl of Clan Drops, and Redwolf777sg for your comments last time, and I hope to hear from you again! Was kind of hoping to hear from more of you all, since only three of you actually commented on the chapter itself...well, anyways, the more I hear from you all, the sooner I can finish the next chapter! It really does help me out, since the more I interact with the story the more I think about it and can write for it, so do know your thoughts are greatly appreciated.

I hope you all will enjoy, and that I will hear from you in the comments below!


The courtyard by the chapel had two levels, each of which were similar in size and were what some may even call a field. Stairs to the right and left led up to it, while a stream of water in the middle caused a light waterfall from the immense height difference of the two levels. Surrounding the fields were the Monastery’s walls, and this was only one piece of one-fourth the entire structure, showing just how massive the fortress was.

Trixie still intended to take it with as close to zero fatalities as possible, despite everything that could possibly stand in her way.

Taking a look out at the fields, Trixie could see that the forces that had previously been training there were all focused on her. She smiled to herself as she was suddenly the center of attention.

Now it was time to put on the show.

“It was so nice of you all to wait outside for us,” Trixie mocked, taking note of how these fools had seemingly assumed their commander was going to mop the floor with them and did not intervene like the troops Kacricon brought in. Some of those had come from those stationed outside, and Trixie could see that the Scarlet Crusade’s base forces were truly stretching thin now: she counted only two dozen people in sight from her position at the cathedral.

“Did…did that horse just talk?”

Trixie snickered as Kael climbed up on her back and took hold of the purple cape covering her back. The Crusaders had no idea what they were in for.

“Where did that boastful woman go?”

“I heard her voice come out of the horse’s mouth!”

Trixie gave them no more time to voice their confusion as she raced forward, Kael gripping tightly to her as he began muttering something under his breath. A group of what appeared to be bare fisted soldiers, monks possibly, found themselves trampled by the sudden arrival of a horse, and those who threw themselves out of Trixie’s path were instead introduced to searing pain.

One of the soldiers on the field scoffed at the sight of Kael flinging fire at the Crusaders trying to flee from Trixie’s charge, “Spellcasting on a mount? Unheard of! Coward!”

Trixie changed her path so that she could run over another group of Crusaders, lowering her head to bare her horn at them: if they knew what was best for them, they would see it and get out of the way, leaving them vulnerable to Kael. The fact that those stationed on the field were melee combatants left them vulnerable to the rapid speed Trixie was running at: They could not catch her, and they could not accurately aim at her. Despite her large size their weapons would swing right by her instead of making contact, and so a second grouping of Crusaders fell to Trixie and Kael’s combination attack.

By the time they began to engage a third grouping of soldiers, the Crusaders were wising up. Suicidally charging forward instead of away, they forced Trixie to avert her path so as to not be impaled by the weapons this group had been training with. Her sudden change in path nearly threw Kael off her, making his next fireball go astray and harmlessly impact a wall of the monastery instead of their enemies.

“Aim better!” Trixie chastised as she ran past the Crusaders and prepared to loop around to try again.

“Well quit moving so much and I will!” Kael complained as he prepared another spell. When he was next to Trixie he felt empowered, and when she was in this equine form he felt the effect increase significantly.

Trixie noticed the power she possessed in this body was greater as well, and it reminded her of something from her dream. Trying her best to focus on the horn atop her head, Trixie called out to her rider.

“I’mma try something!”

Pointing her horn down towards the feet of the Crusaders, Trixie let out some of the magic energy she felt flowing through her. The result was an explosion that sent them all careening into the air in different directions.

Realizing the power she had, Trixie smirked to herself as she began turning so as to not collide into a wall. Knowing she could do that meant she could practice it later and actually utilize her powers to a more precise extent.

The remaining soldiers on that level spaced out to not fall victim to another devastating attack like that, and Trixie could see them beginning to summon glowing auras that she instinctively felt would shield them should she try to strike them.

Then the ranged attacks began: some Priests had been out in the field as well, and Trixie jolted to the side as she saw an incoming bolt of holy energy. With the shielded soldiers standing in front of their Priest companions, Trixie realized that they were now trying to pick at her from afar. Their movements were such that they would surround her if she did not do something, so Trixie decided to try something.

She took towards one staircase and leapt onto the stone that sloped down with it instead of the steps themselves. To her left was a long drop to the bottom of the pool/waterfall, and to her right the steps, but Trixie ignored the height she was at to instead begin racing down.

The soldiers now behind her began to give chase and run down the steps as she rushed down the smooth stone. At the bottom more Crusaders were already waiting for her, but Trixie was prepared for that.

Kael had to grab on to Trixie’s neck with both arms at the moment they reached the bottom of the staircase, for Trixie leapt high into the air so as to sail straight over the forces waiting to corner her.

Once they landed, Trixie wasted no time to then run across the open field, given that every single soldier on the bottom floor had been waiting by the stairs for her. With a suggestion from the winded Kael, Trixie took towards the other staircase and wanted to laugh as the soldiers angrily gave chase after her.

By the time she reached the top, the soldiers from the bottom level were just reaching the bottom of the steps. The soldiers who had been running down after her from the top level were just reaching the bottom of those steps…and thus her strategy was brought to bare.

Able to outpace the soldiers by a great deal, Trixie began to run around again and again, gaining more of a lead on them as they grew slower and slower with exertion, their armor weighing more heavily on them than Kael’s wore down on Trixie.

The true reason for Trixie’s seemingly cowardly action of running away was not that she was escaping: she was trying to catch up to their rear, where the Priests were. They were wearing dresses like she mocked Kael for wearing, robes if she were to be honest, and so they were not able to run nearly as fast as the men trained to run in armor. The cloth entangled with their legs as they ran, and so they were left behind in a cluster as their Paladin and Warrior cohorts tried to catch Trixie ahead of them.

When Trixie managed to spring her plan into action, the Priests were a hundred yards away from their comrades, tiredly standing by one staircase as they tried to catch their breath. Using her equine mobility Trixie closed the distance on them in a burst of speed, and the Priests found themselves being fired at by both Trixie and Kael in tandem, with Trixie pausing her charge a few yards away from them so they could accurately aim.

By the time the Paladins and Warriors returned to help their comrades, the Priests were all in no state to fight anymore. As they had charged Trixie had picked off with her magic a few of the Paladins, and Kael had lit some of the Warriors on fire, melting away their armor and making them cast it aside before passing out from their wounds, leaving only a handful left to actually fight.

Due to all of the exertions she had made in the past hour, Trixie could not fire anymore at them without first taking a break, and she did not have the time for that. Kael too was beginning to grow tired again and could not spark another fire to fling at them, so Trixie decided to throw her remaining energy into one last charge.

“Hold on!”

Kael did as he was told as Trixie threw them both into a curving trajectory, aiming to sweep into the arc of soldiers approaching them. The soldiers had lost the glowing shield they had been protecting themselves with earlier, likely due to a strain of keeping it up so long, and so Trixie plowed through them as well, each of them too exhausted to get out of her way.

The last in the group was by far the most tired of them though, and he fell down as Trixie aimed to tackle him. His dulled blade collided with one of her front legs and Trixie was thrown off balance due to her attempt to leap into him.

She would have had time to recover if she had been running towards an open field, but her curved movement had taken her in the path of the pool. Trixie nearly gasped by the time she continued her trip into the edge of it, her hooves catching on it and causing her to flip over it as she tried to suddenly halt herself as she stumbled. Kael continued to grip onto Trixie for death life while Trixie flipped into the pool.

Trixie shook her head and tried getting up in the pool only to realize that she was not on four legs anymore. Looking down, Trixie saw that she had reverted back to her Elven form, and her purple cape was now drenched around her, clinging to her skin.

Also quite drenched by his own tumble into the pool, Kael emerged from underneath the large purple fabric Trixie had been wearing to hand her one of their bags. He was blushing as Trixie took the bag, refusing to meet her eyes.

“Your clothes,” he explained, and Trixie nodded in understanding. She quickly went about fixing her clothing problem underneath her large cape, and when she finally emerged she saw that Lavitz and Vanessa were waiting by the edge of the pool. Trixie tossed her drenched cape to Kael, who went about wringing it of water and putting it away.

Vanessa cocked an eyebrow at the soaking duo. They had let Trixie handle things since it would have been difficult to interfere in the unique scenario, so they had not seen how Trixie managed to crash, “How did you two end up in the pool?”

Not even looking up at them anymore, Trixie tried to get some of the water out of her clothing as she responded in a deadpan voice, “Kael was riding me and now I’m wet.”

Vanessa blushed, Lavitz burst out in laughter, and Kael just hung his head and began to slowly shake it side to side, “Trixie…”

As she looked to Kael Trixie mimicked Vanessa’s recent expression of one eyebrow raised, “What? All that thrashing around hurts my back you know. You try being on bottom next time.”

Lavitz nearly fell over in laughter as Kael threw his hands up in exasperation. Did Trixie have no self-awareness about how anything she said sounded?

“Oh come on, it's like you're not even trying!”

Ignoring Kael and masking a smirk, Trixie turned to Vanessa and pointed towards the exit to the courtyard.

“Vanessa, get any stragglers. Don’t let them alert other forces, as we don’t want to fight them when they are completely ready for us.”

Vanessa pulled out her daggers and eyed up someone whose legs had not been broken by Trixie’s trampling rampage and who was trying to stumble into the hallway leading to the field.

“On it.”

The teenager left the three others, and after a moment Trixie turned to see Kael still hanging his head in shame.

“What? I got you dripping as well, so we’re even. I’ll make you dry later as an apology if you really want one.”

It would be a little while before they could continue on, as Kael said he needed a moment to calm down, and Lavitz definitely needed one to stop his near choking level of laughter.


Standing over the unconscious bodies of a dozen soldiers and bankers, the thief brothers hired by Trixie were beginning to open the locks to the safes in the building. They had known how to exactly get to this position in as efficient a way as possible, having already been planning on raiding the Crusade themselves, so all these other factors just made it easier for them.

Still, they were only two people, and so going about picking every lock took a long time. Tony sighed as he worked on the one before him, “Vhere are Chains or Dollas vhen you need them? Even Hox would be a welcome addition…”

Karl sighed as he ripped a safe open, “I miss Hans.”

Tony nodded. A friend of theirs, the one who had planned previous heists for them, had passed away recently due to illness. Hans Rickman was a superb mastermind and actor, able to trick their marks like few others, and so the two had been lost for some time after his passing. Now they had a new crew of sorts, one which was not amoral like them but still quite effective at its goals.

“Yes. Rickman was good man…”

Tony’s reminiscence was cut short as he realized Karl had lost his temper with just picking locks, and decided to pull out something from the bag he brought to the Monastery.

That something was a saw, like the Goblins liked using so much in their clear-cutting of forests.

Karl began slashing into the safety deposit boxes and other safes as Tony was finishing the one he was working on.

“Stop! Stop!” he called out to his impatient brother, though he was unsuccessful at stopping him. A saw could draw unwanted attention from any remaining patrols, which was why Tony was aversive to his brother using it.

Thinking quickly, Tony grabbed something from his bag and tossed it at one of the entranceways. The flashbang went off and blinded a group of Crusaders who had reacted to Karl’s noise, and by the time they recovered from the blinding light Karl had shot them dead with some aid from Tony.

Karl smiled down to his younger brother, having intentionally messed with him since they were brothers after all, but Tony gave him an angry look. He was used to pranks and the like, but this was really not the time for that.

They finished breaking open everything and taking the valuables within. They could easily try and leave with them, but they had honor to them despite being thieves and so they decided to help finish the operation. Perhaps they could get some magic artifacts as well to add to their overall haul.

Tony put on his headset again, the brothers having taken theirs off when the sound of a horse began coming over it for some reason, and pointed for his brother to start going on his way. He had heard something about Vanessa hunting stragglers, and since being muscle was Karl’s specialty that was what he should be helping with at the moment.

“I’ll get the gate. Help girl.”

Karl nodded and left his brother behind to finish packing everything. Tony had many storage bags on him with high capacity, so he was able to loot everything and not feel the weight at all due to the magical properties of his bags. With this they would be set for life, able to live off it without ever possibly spending it all.

With his technical knowledge, Tony was to secure the gate and keep anyone else from interfering further. Few if any enemies remained there, so he felt confident that he would be able to handle it on his own.


Karl came across the girl who had joined the team partway through when she was interrogating a man who had escaped from the battle and attempted to take refuge in a room off the main path. She had poisoned him lightly, enough to cause excruciating pain but not kill him, and was lightly dragging her dagger across his body to make him talk.

The mercenary nodded as he watched, announcing his presence with a quiet, “Impressive.”

Vanessa looked back at the Human who greatly resembled Kael, “Thanks,” she sighed as she turned back to her prisoner who was being less than cooperative. They needed some more information to carry this out well, and since Trixie wasn’t around to see this brutality Vanessa felt free to act like the criminal she had grown to be over the years, “What do you want to bet he won’t talk?”

Karl took out a gold piece and placed it down on a table in the room, placing his wager, “He’ll talk.”

Not about to go easy to win a bet, Vanessa continued to try and force information out of the screaming Crusader, “Where are the other remaining officers in the base? Where are the keys to the armory and other major facilities?”

If they did not account for a single major figure, if they were caught off guard by some major force, they all could die. Vanessa refused to let herself die here after all she had been through, and she would do everything in her power to not lose anyone else she cared about either…which now meant Trixie, as well as Kael and Lavitz to some degree. Now Karl was also growing to be someone she respected, since he wasn’t judging her for her actions that were born of desperation.

The tortured Crusader whined as Vanessa continued to try and press information out of him, “I don’t know! I don’t know! Please!”

Realizing this would go nowhere, Vanessa knocked the man out to shut up his screaming. Karl cursed under his breath as he handed over the gold piece he bet, which made Vanessa realize he had bet on her winning.

“Why’d you think he would talk?”

Karl shrugged as he leant on the doorway, “I fought your father vunce. SI-7 and Defias do not get along vell, but he vas quite skilled.”

Vanessa nodded in understanding. Because he knew her father, he expected her to be at least capable…and seeing as how he wasn’t sneering, she could tell that he wasn’t disappointed in her.

The mercenary shrugged as Vanessa took another look at the passed out Crusader, “Some just don’t talk, so not your fault.”

“Thanks…” Vanessa sighed, knowing the man was right but also irritated that she had to try this again, “Let’s see if someone else will.”


On their way through the Scarlet Monastery, Trixie made a decision about where to go next. There were still a few areas to clear of hostile forces before the area could be considered “locked down”, and unless they were in control of it they would not have fulfilled the task given to them by Lord Wrynn. Well, the younger Wrynn now that Chromie fixed the timeline a bit.

“Let’s check the graveyard. The armory will be difficult to take I reckon, so we shouldn’t go there while we’re this tired. I doubt many forces will be at the Graveyard at this time, so it’ll be a nice break of sorts,” Trixie paused as she realized something, though she had no idea just how correct she was as she added, “They really were weak at the courtyard…it’s almost as if they wanted this to happen.”

Kael and Lavitz both shrugged, both just grateful that things were going their way. Given that both Trixie and Kael were recovering from the last fight there was not much said as they strode through the dimly lit halls of the Monastery. Whoever was in charge of replacing the torches and lighting things was probably ill, since Trixie had trouble seeing in some parts of it. Irritated by a lack of sight, Trixie decided to focus on something else: playing the role of leader again. She took to using her headset provided by Tony and opened communications with its inventor.

“Tony, how’s it going on your end with the money and gate?”

“Money and Gate have been taken care of. Where should I meet—”

Trixie lurched as she heard a loud crackle in her ear. She could not hear anything from Tony, but heard what sounded like fighting in the background.

The three walking to the Graveyard finally found the location, but before heading into that section of the Monastery Trixie paused to try and regain contact with the tech guy of their operation.

“Tony?” Trixie’s face paled as he continued to not respond, “Tony? Are you alright?”

Her eyes shot open when right after saying this an unfamiliar voice spoke, a sinister smugness dripping from it.

“Sorry about that. Tony won’t be joining you for the few remaining minutes of your lives, as I am afraid he has gone and broken his neck,” the man speaking laughed with clear sadism, “My name is Mograine though, and I must thank you insurgents for the crossbow. I’ll be sure to return it one way or another.”

“Trixie…” Kael whispered, drawing her attention even as she began to process what she just heard.

At the entrance of the Graveyard were not Scarlet Crusaders, but rather a few Scarlet Crusaders fighting off a slew of rotting corpses that were somehow brought to life.

“Undead,” Lavitz cursed, “Not Forsaken, but not quite alive nor dead…”

Kael balled his fists in anger, “Great. So the base we happen to take over has to be infested in one wing with the undead…”

Trixie removed her headset and turned it off, not wanting to let Mograine listen in on their conversation. If he had Tony’s headset, he could easily hunt them down with knowledge like that, and if her memory served her correctly he was one of the leaders of the facility: he would know better about how to traverse it, and he would be a powerful warrior beyond many of the others in fighting capabilities.

“Let me help you.”

Trixie, Kael, and Lavitz turned around to see a familiar face behind them: the healer from before, Dirge. He had followed them after tending to the wounded, able to catch up solely because of their slow pace and his own knowledge of the base.

Lavitz leveled his spear at the man, intent on protecting his charges, but Dirge held his hands up in peace, “Healing harms the Undead severely. Please, let me repay you for sparing my allies before.”

Trixie used an arm to lower Lavitz’s spear, trusting the Priest because of his reasoning as well as her experiences thus far with him.

“Okay then. We clear these zombies out as quickly as possible, then we find Mograine.”

Leaving zombies to run wild in the facility would be bad, and Trixie doubted the Crusade members fighting them here could hold them off much longer with how poorly defended the entire facility seemed to be. With their forces diverted to a large offensive campaign, their base’s defense garrison off chasing a phantom opponent, many of those within the walls poisoned, and further forces defeated by Trixie and the others, the Scarlet Crusade was truly in a terrible position.

Kael brandished his sword and Lavitz prepared his spear and both lunged forward into the horde of undead that only just seemed to notice their existence. They began to cut into the first of the zombies when a voice behind the masses of rotting flesh cried out.

“We hunger for vengeance!”

Lavitz threw himself to the side to avoid a pillar of flame that began to burn where he had just stood, and the four fighters all looked to see a larger undead with the features of a black armored Elf standing with glowing hands and eyes, a cape billowing behind them.

Things suddenly were not looking as great as they were mere moments ago, and things had not exactly been rosy then either. However, even the might of the small army of undead paled in comparison to the utterly furious woman standing next to Kael.

Someone working for her had just died, and these creatures were keeping her from avenging that death...

Bloodmage Thalnos, the undead mage, would soon regret attacking these mortals as carelessly as the others.


After tracking down keys and information from various Crusaders, Vanessa and Karl had gone to meet up with the others when they heard a group of Crusaders talking about how surprised they were that they had to be called back to defend the base. Since these ones were not a part of the initial defense, that meant that despite the gate having been closed they still got inside.

Vanessa whispered to Karl as they approached the hallway the reinforcements were in, “They must have snuck in through a hidden entrance. I’ll stall them.”

Karl nodded and left, trusting Vanessa to do as she said. Now alone with a half dozen Crusaders, Vanessa began listening in on them so she could plan her attack.

One of the members had just returned to the group and seemed fearfully excited, “Lieutenant! The Monastery’s forces are nearly all deployed in the field, and many of those here have been defeated by the invading force!”

The Lieutenant, a woman with sandy blonde hair and salmon red armor, snarled as she realized the position her army was in, “What about Lieutenants Jerid and Kacricon?”

“I can answer that!”

Having studied their positions and planned her attack, Vanessa launched herself out of her cover and impaled the messenger in the back before kicking him aside and starting on a nearby member.

The Lieutenant jumped into action and kept Vanessa from taking out another of her soldiers, but the suddenness still caught her off guard, as did the age of the assailant.

“What’s a kid doing here?”

Vanessa snorted as she parried Lila’s counterattack, “I had to kill Kacricon to save someone, but that fool Jerid is one of our hostages.”

Vanessa actually found herself driven back as her foe’s eyes lit up first in surprise and then in anger.

Lila pressed the offensive in the opening Vanessa gave her by backing up, “You’ll pay for that! You may be a kid, but I won’t stand and let you harm my soldiers!”

She would die before she let some arrogant teenager harm anyone else she cared about, and Lila felt a surge of emotion as she felt the danger her student was in. Jerid could die if she didn’t do anything, or at least she thought so, not knowing that her foes were doing their best not to kill anyone.

She did not even notice that her allies who Vanessa had already attacked were still alive, so enraged by the death of a student and friend as well as by the danger the rookie Crusader who had fallen for her was in.

Vanessa’s taunt had had its effect: Lila was not thinking rationally, which meant that even someone a decade younger could fight the veteran on equal ground. Mixed with a slight unwillingness to fight a child, and a leftover disturbed sensation from seeing Mograine act so brutally in the village earlier, the tables went from even to fully in Vanessa’s favor in their one on one combat.

Fortunately, Lila had a few allies with her still to tip things again in her own favor, but a brutal conflict between them was just beginning...and with one side willing to fight it to the death, much hung in the balance.

Author's Note:

Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed and will grace me with your comments below! I could still use them to make it through yet another tough week, and they really do help me keep releasing chapters for you all on a regular basis.

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