• Member Since 1st Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Baal Bunny


Part of the AugieDog family of companies


E

Our Heroines gather at Applejack's for some winter afternoon apple pie baking, and Dash can't help but hope a certain apple-based beverage might be included in the festivities as well. And while it's not hard cider, getting a mug of it from AJ might prove harder than Dash expected.

The original version of this story was written for the January 2015 Writeoff Association's minific contest, "All In."

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 30 )

I like the expanded version a lot! I think adding all the characters in makes the whole teasing dynamic work more naturally.

Even if some of the voicing rubs me weird. (Mainly 'Dashie', which is used very very rarely in the show itself, and never by AJ, if I recall correctly)

Short, simple, and delicious like a well-earned mug of cider. :ajsmug:

5512778
Pinkie uses it occasionally.

Also the cider we see them make is hard cider.

5513008
Yes. I want to say twice, spread across four seasons now.

It's not a problem, it's just that reading it so often in such a short space clashes with how I hear the characters in my head.

5513048
But it's not the first or last time we've done this. Ponies calling Applejack AJ (has happened like once or twice) 20% cooler/ten seconds flat (once each until a reference in Castle Mane-ia and outright saying 20% cooler a couple times in Rainbow Rocks) etc etc etc.
But it's fitting. We're not often given them interacting on their own. Dash probably doesn't like it / thinks it's embarrassing, and Ponka only usually says it in private.

...

Doesn`t seem right. Meshes fairly well with what the canon says, but... does not feel right at all.

You know what would have made an even sweeter winter afternoon? Spike NOT missing out on more fun with all his friends.

Just as cute! I went ahead and added it to the AppleDash group Non-Romance folder, because folks there will probably like it even if you didn't take the expert advice and make it shipping. :ajsmug:

5512778
5513008

In my mind:

Fluttershy calls her "Dashie," and Dash puts up with it because they've known each other for so long together. Then Pinkie started doing it, and, well, there's not much you can do about Pinkie, is there? But, yeah, I slipped with Applejack--she should call her "RD," and I'll be changing that in the story once I get done typing this comment. :twilightblush:

Also, I was under the impression that hard cider needs time to ferment, so it couldn't be hard cider they make in the show 'cause they're drinking it right away.

5512786

Now I'm craving some Martinelli's... :pinkiehappy:

5513269

It kinda nudges up against a line or two, doesn't it? :eeyup:

5513580

I figured Spike would rather be home hibernating on days like this. :scootangel:

Mike

5513838
Ya but hard cider foams.
And it's implied that Dash doesn't even really particularly like Fluttershy / they don't hang out like her and Pinkie until the events of the show. There's nothing to imply she even /knew/ Fluttershy, she just saw someone being bullied. And S1 Rainbow wasn't very accommodating of her BAS FREN's scaredyness.

Almost makes for a totally different story with the expansion. Nicely done!

5513838
It isn't hard cider for precisely the reason you noted.

The cider in the show shows no real indication of being hard cider; it was likely just shown that way because foamy liquids are more interesting to animate, and a lot of children are likely familiar with fountain soda machines, which (obviously) dispense foaming liquid.

I wrote a review of this story. You can find it here.

5513838
If you ask me, they're using some Earth pony magic to speed-ferment their cider, because you can totally tell it's the hard stuff, even though the show can't admit it. :raritywink:

5513838

I can`t speak in full confidence, as we saw Rainbow Dash willing to debase herself pretty far to get the cider... but, well.

Personally, I`d imagine that upon receiving such an ultimatum, she`d look on the mug, set it down on the table and go with "...Yeah, no. Thanks, Applejack, I`m not thirsty anymore."

5513807

I always feel:

Uncertain when it comes to writing romance. I mean, I find it pretty easy to write convincingly about things that I've never seen or done if most of the audience hasn't seen or done them either, but when it comes to something like romance, something they've likely done while I most definitely haven't, I start getting a little shaky. :twilightoops:

I've got a trilogy of AppleShy/FlutterJack stories amongst my AugieDoggery where I experiment with both shipping and clop--it all starts with "Biology: A Romance," goes on to History: A Romance Continued, and wraps up with Philosophy: A Romance Expanded. And while I like the parts of the second where I'm actually telling a story about these two characters, large swaths of the first and the third made me decide that I should keep romance firmly in the background of my stores as much as possible.

5513878

Thanks!

This is the story I had in mind when the prompt was unveiled, but I couldn't include most of it due to the length restrictions. :eeyup:

5514587

This is:

My second "Conditionally Not Recommended," isn't it? If this keeps up, I'll need my own category. :raritywink:

Rainbow may have a cider problem

5516084

Or maybe:

The rest of the world just doesn't appreciate the finer things in life. :rainbowwild:

Mike

Ha, when I started into this I was thinking it was that other story from the writeoff where everyone gets stuck in Aj's cellar, because it also involves cider. When it didn't start off the same way, I had to go back to the actual results, find Dignity, and open it; so many stories I had gotten it mixed up xD

Anyway, I enjoyed this, obviously; hard to say if I prefer one version over the other; the first one worked very well as a minific, but this one works nicely too. I always enjoy the mane six together.

5518565

Thanks!:

Yeah, 92 stories was wacky to keep straight. I'm hoping the length requirements next round will make things more manageable. :twilightsmile:

Mike

5519989
Watch, we'll get fifty 2000+ word stories :pinkiecrazy:

A nice little story, making light of both RD's cider addiction and the fact that Applejack could pinch-hit for almost all of her friends if the need arose. I would object to AJ extorting compliments like that, but she is quite proud.

But didn't Trenderhoof end up being nice at the end of the episode?

Gah, this was a hard read :rainbowlaugh:
I was cringing for poor Rainbow's dignity, and I could positively feel the hole she dug for herself at the beginning.

Good story though, but I still don't think the ordeal was worth just one mug of cider. Unless it's a realllllly big tankard or something.

5520732
5566983

Pride is a weird thing:

I've never understood it, so trying to write a story about it might not have been the best idea I've ever had... :pinkiehappy:

5546704

My take on that episode was : Trenderhoof thinks that he's the most interesting pony in Equestria, but he isn't. He decides that he'd enjoy being uninteresting like the simple ponies of Ponyville, and Rarity and Applejack both tell him in the nicest possible way that they don't want him around. So he goes back to his first delusion, and everypony lives happily ever after. :scootangel:

Mike

The wide-eyed innocence on AJ's face would've given a kitten a run for its money. "I'm just trying to be helpful, ain't I? I mean, how many chances does RD have to practice being polite?"
Planting her hooves on the floor again, Dash tightened her glare into a scowl. "That's blackmail!"
Twilight cleared her throat. "Actually, Rainbow, it's more like extortion."
AJ shrugged. "Half of one, six dozen of the other." She nodded toward the sink. "Grab my mug, will you, Pinkie? And bring one on over for yourself."

I love this.

"Well?" Torn this time between wanting to smack her mouth and give it a high-hoof, Dash somehow managed to keep from grinning. "That's what happened, isn't it?"

She's, not wrong.

"There now!" AJ filled the mug to the brim and slid it toward her. "Wasn't so hard, was it?"

Troll.

Comment posted by superfun deleted March 29th

Upon further examination, I have decided that I had to give it a downvote.
Mainly because of how AJ got RD to give her the compliments.
Had AJ given RD the first cup of cider for free, and THEN had RD compliment her more in exchange for extra cups, I feel it would have worked a bit better.

Or, had RD said something to unintentionally insult AJ and then try to deny it, AJ extorting her for compliments in exchange for the first cup of cider would have worked.

As is, however, I can kind of see why others would find it amusing, but I just can't feel the same way.

8059055

To be:

Applejack-honest with you, I hadn't so much as looked at this story in over two years, and reading through it yesterday after you left your first comment, I found myself unable to imagine what I was thinking when I wrote it... :twilightoops:

Mike

8059891 There actually is an entertaining story here.
It just needed a rewrite to give AJ a better reason to extort RD.

Login or register to comment