It's Just Anatomy!
Rainbow thought that after all the awkward horrors she’d been put through in the Sparkle household, it couldn’t get any worse.
She was wrong.
Her eyes strayed up from the safety of her dinner plate, bringing the sight of the four members of the Sparkle family into her vision. Every one of them were dressed in nothing but a bathrobe. When Rainbow had asked Velvet to stay clothed… loose-fitting, thin, and breezy pieces of cloth was not what she had in mind. And they all match, too! Like, is this some kind of club?
“Is the food alright, dear?” Velvet asked, snapping Rainbow out of her thoughts.
“Uh, yeah! It’s great. I love…” She glanced at the squishy, moist chunk of goddesses-know-what on her plate. “…Meat.”
“That’s good to hear. You just looked a bit distant there.”
“Uh-huh.” Rainbow knew exactly why that was, but her lips were sealed. She was just glad she could pull a “not that hungry” excuse since she and Twilight had already snacked earlier. Agreeing to dinner with everyone was more out of politeness.
At a nudge from her side, Rainbow turned to see Cadence offering a sympathetic smile. “Relax,” she mouthed.
The athlete only nodded in reply. If it was any comfort, at least one other person at the dinner table was fully clothed… not that Rainbow herself had much on. Damp clothes under a blanket with sleeves… Ugh, I might as well be in the bathrobe club. No one said anything about wearing a blanket to dinner, but she had caught a few knowing glances from Twilight’s brother that never failed to paint her cheeks red.
“Anything new happening with any of you? School’s alright?” Twilight’s father, Night Light, asked.
A chorus of mumbled yes’s and yup’s answered him.
“Actually,” Shining said, “I started looking into another college.”
“Yes? Which one?”
“Crystal University. It’s about a two days’ drive from here.”
“Mmhm,” he replied, stuffing a dripping mash of mystery meat into his mouth. “What’s got you interested over there?”
Cadence winked at Shining before she answered, “I told him I was looking into it.”
“Aw, isn’t that sweet?” Velvet cooed, “Reminds me of us, right, honey?”
“Just without the rock ‘n roll and a few other things.”
Velvet rolled her eyes. Glancing around at the younger members of the dinner table, she whispered, “Don’t listen to him. Especially you, Twilight.”
“Mom,” she moaned, burying her head in her hands.
All that was missing from Velvet’s innocent smile was a halo above her head.
Rainbow stared in silence as she watched the friendly banter being thrown across the table. They were laughing and playing with each other just as casually as any other family, she saw. …Everyone’s half naked and no one’s said a word about it.
The sound of conversation died down as every set of eyes turned toward Rainbow, each of them boring into her with a blend of surprise. It only took the girl a second to realize what had happened.
Her mouth went dry.
Her pupils dilated to pinpricks.
Her words failed her, coming out as a helpless squeak.
I said that out loud! she shrieked inwardly, Oh my gosh, I said that out loud! With unadulterated horror etched across her features, her eyes darted through the faces that were watching her. Other than taken aback, she couldn’t read their expressions, but that didn’t send her any relief; she had no idea how they’d react. Cadence was no help as she kept glancing between Rainbow and the Sparkles.
Well, it was nice knowing them while it lasted. I’ve made a complete idiot of myself and made things super awk—
“I prefer the term ‘half clothed,’” Night Light chuckled, drawing a groan from both of his children.
“Please pardon my husband’s attempt at humor,” Velvet said, “But yes, no one’s said anything. We’re usually wearing less than this, after all.”
Rainbow blinked. “You… you’re not upset? Or mad? Or awkward? Or… anything?! None of you?”
“Why would we be?” she said with a shrug, “That’s just the truth. Though, maybe it’s just a little awkward.” A giggle escaped her lips at the last word.
Part of Rainbow wanted to jump up and prance in relief at realizing she hadn’t screwed herself over in front of everyone, but another part of her shot words from her mouth first. “But… but I…” She shook her head. “I just don’t get it!”
“Get what, dear?”
“How are you all so casual being naked with each other? How is it not awkward? I keep hearing how you’re all okay with it, but I just don’t get it.”
All eyes turned toward Rainbow once again, but this time they shown with comprehension rather than surprise. Twilight spoke up first, saying, “Well, we were brought up that way. It’s never been a problem.”
“Yeah, you’ve said that…”
“Rainbow?” Cadence said, planting her hand on the other girl’s shoulder, “I understand where you’re coming from. As I said, I went through those exact emotions you’re feeling. Though, I wasn’t as… blunt about it. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m guessing you’ve got your mind set that nudity is meant to be a purely private thing.”
“Uh, yeah?”
“Well, that’s just because of how you were brought up, unlike them. Things that seem wrong to one person is perfectly normal to another.”
“Like grades, for instance,” Twilight piped in, “I consider no less than an A acceptable, but a lot of students seem content to just pass at all.”
Like me? Rainbow almost said aloud. Pushing the jab at herself aside, she said, “Yeah, but… how did you actually get to that point?” Looking at Twilight and Shining, she continued, “I know you two were brought up with it, but is everything really that simple? I know I’d feel mortified to be naked with my folks.”
“Why don’t you ask them yourself?” Cadence said, gesturing around the table. At the suggestion, the members of the family all nodded in agreement.
“Uh, you’re all okay with that?” Rainbow asked.
“Of course!” Velvet said, “Anything to make you feel comfortable.”
Rainbow took a moment to peer at each of their faces, seeing nothing but an eagerness to please. “Well okay. Um… why? Can I ask why you’re nudists?”
As Twilight and Shining looked to their parents, Velvet spoke up first. “I can answer that.” Clapping her hands together, she said, “Story time. Neither Night nor I were brought up as nudists, but we were introduced to the lifestyle about a year after we married when we went to a resort. Little did we realize that it was actually clothing optional! It was awkward for us too, but at one point, we got into a conversation with another guest who straightened everything out.”
“He was nice about it,” Night Light added, “Think his name was Sidcord or something…”
Brow furrowing, Rainbow glanced to Twilight who was wearing an equally befuddled expression. She mouthed, “Isn’t our school janitor named Discord?” Twilight only shrugged in reply.
“After that,” Velvet said, “We were still reluctant to try it ourselves, but hey, we’re married. We’ve already—” She cleared her throat, “Er, we’ve already married. Yes, that’s it. In any case, we tried it and found it… interesting? Refreshing? Exciting? Take your pick. I think I found appeal in how freeing it is.”
“So you became nudists after that?” Rainbow asked.
She shook her head. “Not right away. But I remembered the feeling and proposed trying it at home to Night Light sometime later.”
“I thought it was a great idea,” he said.
“Mmhm. Well, we tried it, and the rest is history.”
Rainbow nodded slowly after a moment. “Okay… that makes sense.”
“Anything else you’d like to know? I’d be happy to oblige.”
After thinking for a moment, a weasly smile found its way onto the girl’s lips. “Actually, I was thinking about something you said earlier.”
“What would that be?”
“You said you all have dinner in the nude, right?”
Velvet nodded.
Twiddling her thumbs, she said, “Well, what happens if you… ya know… spill food? Like if it’s a scalding bowl of soup?”
Instantly, both of the males at the table burst into laughter. Through his cackling, Shining managed to say, “You better hope that bowl don’t land on your bowels!”
Their wave of laughter only needed a moment to wash over the rest of the table as everyone else joined in. Rainbow even found herself letting out some hearty chuckles. “Okay, okay,” she said once the noise receded, “I should’ve figured that, but can I ask something else?”
“Of course.”
Rainbow nodded, taking a moment to think. “Okay, what if…?”
It was about an hour after dinner when Rainbow found herself lying across the couch, a recent question and answer session still running through her head. She had to admit, she was feeling noticeably less awkward than earlier. “Just glad everything’s been laid bare,” she said with a completely straight face.
“Arf!”
Rainbow glanced to her side at the sudden sound, coming face to nose with the canine of the household. “Oh hey, Spike. Where have you been all evening?”
“Arf!”
“Good to hear.” She glanced away for a moment, intending to board her train of thoughts once again, but she couldn’t help but feel the pleading stare on her. “…Ugh alright,” she said, bending down to lift the pooch onto her lap.
“Arf!”
“Uh-huh, what else is new?” she replied, stroking the soft hair behind his ears. “You know what, Spike? Your family’s crazy. But in a good way.”
“Arf!”
“I don’t think I’ll be pulling a Cadence, but I think I’m starting to see things their way. Heh, did you have to go through what I did when they adopted you?”
“Arf!”
“Figures you wouldn’t. You’ve always been too laid back for your own good.”
“Having a conversation with the dog?” a voice asked from behind Rainbow.
“Arf!”
Craning her neck to see Cadence, Rainbow grinned. “What can I say? He’s a great conversationalist.”
“Don’t worry about it. We all talk to him,” Cadence chuckled, “If I didn’t know better, I’d say that he was meant to be human, but some silly person went and turned him into a dog instead.” She shrugged. “In any case, I just wanted to say bye before I head out. You’re staying the night?”
“Yup.”
“Cool. That should be fun.”
“Heh, maybe. After all this trigo-torture Twilight’s put me through, I might just head to bed soon. It’s getting late anyway.”
“Uh-huh. Well, good meeting you, Rainbow.”
“You too, Cadence. See ya.”
“Goodbye!” The older girl readjusted her raincoat as she grabbed her umbrella beside the doorway. As she grasped the door handle, she looked over her shoulder at Rainbow. “Oh, and Rainbow? Glad we all had that discussion. Not just for you, but I found it interesting as well. Bye!”
“Bye,” she replied, watching Cadence disappear out the door. …I like her. She’s nice.
“Arf!”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll pet you now. Geez, no need to get fussy.”
Falling into a rhythm, Rainbow was able to let her mind wander again.
…At least until Twilight interrupted her a few minutes later.
“Sorry to disappoint you, Rainbow,” she said, “But I’m not up for anymore studying tonight. I’m kind of tired.”
Making an exaggerated gasp, she replied, “Oh, Twi! I was looking forward to it oh-so much too! Whatever will I do?”
“Why don’t you fall asleep with a textbook on your face? Maybe then you’ll have dreams of trig problems to do.”
“Pssh. I dream of awesome stuff! Like… what if humans had batteries? That way we could plug into an outlet instead of needing to sleep.”
Twilight’s eyebrow shot up at a speed just shy of the speed of sound.
“Speaking of sleep,” Rainbow said, “I was thinking of turning in soon, myself. Sorry we didn’t get to do anything fun.”
“You say it as if math isn’t fun. But don’t worry about it.”
“Mmhm. Hey, would it be cool if I took a shower first?”
She nodded. “Go right on ahead. You can use the one you used earlier.”
“Yup, I know exactly where that one is. Thanks,” she said, pushing herself up and causing Spike to jump off her lap. “I’ll take care of it now, if it’s no hassle.”
“Not at all. Oh, but before you go, let me get you a towel.” Returning in a moment, she tossed the fabric to Rainbow.
“Thanks, Twi.” She turned to go, but Twilight cut her off.
“Oh, wait. Want to borrow some pajamas? I doubt you’d want to stay in those as you sleep, especially after taking a shower.”
Rainbow stared at her for a long moment, silent from her words to the unreadable expression across her face. “...Yeah. I’d like that.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow, but she continued. “I’ll get them for you. You go to the bathroom, and I’ll drop them off.”
“Sounds good.”
A minute of waiting later, Rainbow was in the bathroom after taking a somewhat lengthy moment to decide which door to go in. After thanking Twilight for the t-shirt and pajama bottoms she brought, the athlete heaved out a sigh as she hung the balled up clothing on the towel rack along with the towel she already had.
The girl wasted no time in stripping off her blanket with sleeves and the wrinkled garments underneath. Tossing them aside, she stepped into the bathtub as she turned on the water, setting it to “hot”—just as she liked it. “…Ah,” she sighed, “That’s nice…”
Rainbow would’ve been content to simply stand there and let the soothing droplets run down her skin, but there was bound to be at least one of the Sparkle siblings waiting for their turn, so she grabbed for the hair wash and ran the soapy mess through her—
“Agh! Darn soap!” she hissed as her eyes slammed shut, trying to prevent any more of the stinging solution from attacking. She shot the traitorous bottle a truly horrendous glare (through closed eyes, no less) before reaching her hand past the shower curtain to grab for her towel. “Stupid…” she muttered as she rubbed the irritation out of her eyes, only to freeze as something registered.
It was not a good something.
Blinking her eyes into focus, she gaped at the sight of the damp and soaked clothes in her hands. “…I grabbed the clothes,” she monotoned, “I just grabbed the clothes.”
Now, Rainbow considered herself a levelheaded girl. Sure, she had her occasional temper flare, or she would let her pride get the better of her, but she believed she was sensible. In this moment, however, the girl had only one thing to say in response to her predicament.
“…Fothermucker.”
She wrapped up the rest of her thankfully uneventful shower in an anxious daze. Water turned off, Rainbow knew she couldn’t put off deciding what to do any longer. Eyes glued to the soaked clothes, she couldn’t help but wonder if all her clothes were cursed to end up as damp, useless messes. I could… ask Twilight for new ones, she thought, Ugh, but then I’d have to tell her how badly I messed up. She didn’t even consider using her old clothes, and she couldn’t just prance about in her towel either.
Just as she was about to suck it up and call for her friend, the sight of her ever-loyal sleeved blanket caught her eye. As she stared at it, an idea formed in her head. What if I… just wore that?
“Yeah, go for it!” a tiny voice said from her shoulder, belonging to a miniature ghostly version of Rainbow that so happened to be buck nude.
“Wha—”
“Don’t listen to her! Ask for new clothes!” the same voice said, this time from the other shoulder. This version of Rainbow was dressed head to toe in jackets and snow pants, leaving only her face visible.
The full sized Rainbow glanced between them as they continued to bicker at each other. “Wait a minute,” she said, “Aren’t you two supposed to be good and evil?”
Both girls looked in surprise to her, but the nude one whipped up a smirk as she said, “Yeah! And I’m the good one!”
“What?! No, I’m the good one!” the clothed one yelled back.
“Nuh-uh!”
“Yeah-huh!”
“Loser!”
“Ugly!”
“Ugly?! We look the—”
“Enough!” the real Rainbow scolded, “Both of you, go away. I can handle my own decisions.”
As if practiced, both apparitions gave a “hmph” before crossing their arms and disappearing in a show of rainbow sparkles.
“…It’s official. This house and everyone in it have driven me insane.” Shaking her head, she took one last look at her trusty blanket before yanking it toward her and putting her arms through the sleeves. I’ll keep it wrapped tight, she thought, And besides, they don’t care… Huh.
She couldn’t pin down the feeling that sent butterflies through her system.
“Finally out?” Twilight said, watching her friend reenter the living room.
“Oh, were you waiting on me? Heh, sorry about that,” Rainbow said as her hands clutched the folds of her blanket, not daring to slip. By some twist, her friend was also wrapped up in a blanket but without sleeves. Was she wearing anything underneath? Rainbow had a feeling she knew the answer, much to her uneasiness.
She shook her head. “No, I just took one in the other bathroom. I was just saying that since you went in first and came out last.”
“Oh, okay,” she replied, breaking into a yawn at the last word. She stifled a laugh as she saw it caused her friend to yawn as well. “Hey, uh, what do you want me to do with all my wet clothes? Got somewhere to hang them?”
“Don’t worry about it. Just get them all together and you can give them a quick wash tomorrow morning. Worst case scenario, you can just borrow some of my clothes for school.”
“Radical,” she replied, leaving for a minute to throw her’s—and Twilight’s—into a clump in her friend’s room. She’d already wringed out Twilight’s the best she could, so she wasn’t too concerned about them dripping.
As Rainbow returned to the living room and plopped herself down onto the couch, she felt herself freeze up as her friend spoke up.
“You sure do love that blanket, huh? Funny after all that you gave me about it.”
Rainbow forced out a few giggles, saying, “Heh… yeah. Hey, would it be cool if I head to bed now? I’m pretty tired.”
“I was going to ask you the same thing,” Twilight chuckled, “Sure thing. You can sleep in my bed. I’ve already set it up for you.”
Of all the things that could’ve gone through Rainbow’s mind, She sleeps naked in those sheets, and she’s expecting me to use them was the very first. “Uh, I don’t want to push you out of your own bed. I’ll just take the couch or something.”
“Nonsense. As your host, I insist that you have the bed. I’m perfectly fine on the couch.”
“And as your guest with a right to refuse, I insist you have the bed.”
Twilight raised her eyebrow. “Really Rainbow, it’s no problem.”
Oh, it is, Twi, it is. With a smirk, Rainbow threw her legs across the length of the couch, forcing Twilight to scoot back lest she get pushed back. Doing her trademarked Rarity impression, she said, “I would, Twi. However, I’m already in such a comfortable position, and I’m far too tired to be asked to move. I’m sure you understand.”
For her efforts, Rainbow was rewarded with a long, hard stare. Suddenly, Twilight’s lips curled into a smirk of her own, causing the athlete’s confidence to falter with surprise. “Fine, Rainbow. Two of us can play at that game.”
Before she could come up with a comeback, Twilight laid herself down across the couch, pushing a surprised Rainbow into the back cushions. Their faces mere inches apart, Twilight flashed a sinister smile. “Since neither of us will move, I guess we’ll just have to share. Unless, of course, someone happens to change their mind.”
Perhaps for the better, perhaps for the worst, Rainbow’s competitive side took control. “Not happening,” she declared.
“Fine,” Twilight answered as if it was the simplest thing in the world.
“Fine.”
Rainbow glared at her for a moment longer before shifting so she faced toward the ceiling. Twilight seemed content to stay in her position.
Hmph! Rainbow thought, As if that’s going to stop me. It’s going to take a lot more than being forced to share a bed with my friend… my naked best friend… when I’m naked too… and we’re being pushed awfully close to each other by the small couch…
“Oh, dear goddesses.”
“What was that?”
“Nothing.”
With a shudder, Rainbow shut her eyes, trying to fall into the welcome embrace of slumber.
Rainbow walked with a stride as she approached Canterlot High School. Although the final wasn’t actually today, she felt more confident than a sharpshooter at a laser tag competition.
Her confidence was borne of two parts: the hours of studying yesterday and the fact that she’d survived a night at the house of the nude. She had no doubt that her sheer awesomeness had pulled through.
Kicking the front door open, she bounded down the hall without a care in the world. She felt great. Powerful. Unstoppable! Nothing could bring her down. All around, students fell into a whispered hush as she walked by, humbled by her presence. She only smirked at them. “I know, I know.”
At picking out the cotton candy hair of her friend in the crowd, Rainbow called out as she jogged over. “Hey, Pinkie!”
“Oh! Hey, Dash—”
She froze, her eyes widened in shock. To Rainbow, however, it was just another person amazed by her awesomeness. “Heh, might want to close your mouth before a fly comes by.”
Pinkie shook her head. “Dashie! You’re naked!”
Rainbow’s brow furrowed. “Come again?”
Pushing Rainbow’s head down, she said, “Look! You aren’t wearing anything!”
“What are you… Ack!” In a rush of shock and embarrassment, Rainbow saw not her clothes, but her naked form on display for everyone in school to gawk at. Panic exploding inside of her, she quickly slapped her hands across her privates as her back slammed against the wall. “Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!” What the hay is going on?! How did I not notice I was nude?!
“Whoa, calm down,” Pinkie said, placing her hands on Rainbow’s shoulders, “It’s alright.”
“What?! How can this possibly alright?!”
Pinkie actually giggled, much to Rainbow’s nervous shock. “’Cause, silly, everyone else is naked too!”
“What are you… talking… about…?” Rainbow’s words trailed off as she stared in awe around her. Although she could swear that everyone was clothed mere moments ago, literally everyone was nude. Girls, boys. Teachers, students. Even Pinkie had joined the fray! Rainbow was silent, her mouth hanging agape.
“Um… Is something wrong, Rainbow?” came a familiar soft voice.
Glancing to her left, Rainbow gasped at the sight of not only Fluttershy, but Applejack and Rarity all missing their usual attire. “I… I… What’s happening?” she mumbled, her voice a mere squeak.
“Girl, we should be askin’ ya that,” Applejack said, “You’re the only person in the whole school who would wear clothes.”
Rarity nodded. “Yes, I believe we are all wondering what caused the sudden change of heart.”
Rainbow glanced between her friends (trying to keep her eyes pointed at their faces) before shaking her head in a daze. “I am so confused…” Everyone’s naked, and now I’m naked, but no one cares about that. They’re just curious as to why. She sighed. “I…”
“That’s right, Rainbow! Tell us why!”
The athlete nearly jumped at the voice that spoke up on the other side of her. She knew that voice… “Janitor Discord.”
“The one and only,” he replied, his voice dripping with mischievousness.
Her hands clenched in fists of anxiety, Rainbow made the mistake of turning toward him.
Then she saw him. Legs spread, hands at his hips, and his old wrinkly, sweaty, dangly di—
Rainbow’s scream echoed through the halls. Legend says it can still be heard to this day.
The athlete’s eyes fluttered open, darting around in a frantic daze as they came into focus. “Ung..?” she muttered, still groggy from her sudden awakening, “Uh… bad dream? Something about… something… ugh.”
In her half-rational state-of-mind, the memory of whatever she was dreaming about eluded her, save for some random tidbits. Like seeing her friends naked, for instance. That was definitely the part she wanted to remember.
Rainbow tried rolling onto her side to get to a more comfortable position, but she frowned when something held her in place. Glancing left, she saw the familiar face of her friend asleep next to her. Funnily enough, she was snuggled against Rainbow, her arm even pulling them together into an embrace.
“Heh…” Rainbow muttered, “Silly Twi…”
Feeling a wave of drowsiness pull down on her eyelids, Rainbow had no qualms to the idea of going back to the warmth of sleep. With a content smile, she shut her eyes once again.
Hope I didn’t wake up Twi… She looks comfortable, heh…
…
“Twilight!” Rainbow shrieked, her eyes rocketing open. What the hay is she doing?!
The lavender girl let out a shriek of her own as she was yanked out of her slumber. Instinctively, her body pushed itself away from Rainbow, sending her and the blankets sprawling onto the floor. Through a flail of limbs, Twilight managed to right herself as she got onto her knees.
The girls’ eyes locked with each other. For a second, there was silence, only interrupted by the sound of each of them taking quick, heavy breaths. Then the silence was slaughtered.
“You’re naked!” they both cried, jabbing their pointer fingers at each other. Both pairs of eyes darted down to look at themselves, but only one of the girls made any attempt to cover themselves.
“Ah! Twi, don’t look at me!”
“I-I what?”
“Don’t look!”
“Uh, right!” she said, throwing her forearm across her face.
Rainbow winced as a fiery blush flared across her cheek, looking away even though she knew Twilight didn’t care. Rainbow let out the breath that had caught in her throat, coming out as a squeak rather than an exhale. “Oh, goddesses…” she moaned, “I can’t believe this just happened.”
“Rainbow…?” Twilight said, a cautiousness standing up her words.
“I-I’m so embarrassed…”
“Rainbow.”
“I…”
“Rainbow Dash.”
The girl’s eyes widened at the shift in tone from her friend. All hesitation was replaced with a simple sternness. “Yeah… Twi?”
Twilight moved her hand away, but she still kept her eyes closed. “Rainbow, look at me.”
“That’s the problem!”
She facepalmed. “Okay, poor choice of words. But I want you to listen to me, alright?”
“…Okay.”
Twilight took in a deep breath before saying, “It’s alright.”
“What?”
“It’s alright,” she repeated, “You don’t need to stress yourself about this. Or anything that’s happened, really.”
“But—”
“Exactly. A butt is not a big deal.”
Despite her whirlwind of emotion, Rainbow found it in herself to groan. “You all have been saying that this whole time.”
“I know… What I should’ve done is sit down and talk to you. I didn’t realize it was actually this big of a deal to you. Since I’ve been like this my whole life, I never assumed it could be so hard for someone else. So… sorry. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through this wild ride.”
Rainbow blinked. She’s apologizing? But… it’s not… “No,” Rainbow said, “Don’t apologize. This is just who you are, and I can’t blame you for it…” Heaving a sigh, she continued, “I… probably overacted, anyway. When you say it’s not a big deal, it really isn’t, huh?”
“I—”
“No, really,” she said, cutting Twilight off, “I’ve been acting so mortified whenever it comes up… and comes off… but I haven’t even given this a chance.”
“Give it a chance? If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were planning on joining us,” Twilight commented.
Rainbow didn’t share in the laughter.
The lavender girl’s eyebrows shot up. “Wait, are you actually considering it?”
“…Ya know, I had a lot of time to think over all that I heard at dinner and from Cadence. Then I had these visions of me in the bathroom, and I think I had some weird dream about school.” Whipping up a hesitant smile, she said, “As they say, ‘Don’t knock it ‘till you try it.’”
“Oh, uh… okay. Sorry, but I have to say I’m quite surprised.”
“Uh-huh. Eh, that’s not a problem, is it?”
She shook her head. “Shouldn’t be. We’re already used to Cadence jumping in randomly, so you should be fine.”
“Cool.”
A hush fell over the room, neither girl having anything to say for a few seconds. Finally, Twilight spoke up, “Can I… open my eyes now?”
Rainbow’s immediate reaction would’ve been to say no, but she held her tongue. No going back now. Gulping back her anxiety, she answered. “Sure.”
Her friend’s eyes blinked open before focusing on her. To her credit, they never strayed away from Rainbow’s blushing face. “Okay. You can look too if you want.”
Without a word, the athlete did so. Although her own eyes twitched down her friend’s nude form a few times, she forced herself to maintain eye contact. “Heh,” she chuckled, “Is this what it’s like to be a kid playing doctor?”
Twilight roller her eyes. “I wouldn’t know. However, I’d prefer if we didn’t get that intimate.”
“Haha, yeah.” Her smile drooped. “Wait a minute… intimate… That was why I yelled! Twilight, why were you cuddling me?!”
“What? What are you talking about?”
Glaring daggers, she shot back, “You totally were. Your arm was wrapped around me and you were all leaning against me—practically on me.”
“No way. I went to sleep minding each other’s personal space. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Rainbow narrowed her eyes. She could recognize when someone was being too stubborn to listen. Being friends with a farmer would do that. “Fine,” she said, “Deny it all you like, but I know what happened. You’re sleeping in the bed for the rest of the night.”
Twilight sent her a “really?” stare, but she pushed herself to her feet. “Fine, but I… Oh wait, look at that.”
“Huh?”
Pointing toward the rays of light streaming in from cracks in the window’s drapes, she said, “It’s morning.”
“Huh.”
She glanced at the clock on the wall. “Mm… it’s about twenty minutes earlier than I usually get up, but that’s close enough. Early bird gets the worm.” Taking a moment to kick the blankets off of her feet, she said, “Want breakfast?”
“Sounds great,” Rainbow replied, prompting her friend to set off toward the kitchen. Straightening herself into a proper sitting position, the girl couldn’t help but glance down at herself. “Aaaand… yup. I really am naked. I’m actually doing this… I just wish I had time to shave,” she muttered, her ever-present blush in full force.
“Hey, Rainbow,” Twilight called, “What do you want? I can whip up some French toast or pancakes or hotcakes…”
“What’s the difference between those last two?”
“Temperature.”
“Oh, shut up!” Rainbow laughed, “You set me up for that.”
“Maybe, maybe not.”
“Ah, whatever,” she said, getting up and heading for the kitchen, “Let’s see what ya got.”
Stop staring… Stop Staring… Stop—Why can’t I stop staring?! With a grimace, Rainbow stuffed another clump of pancake into her mouth, but she paid little attention to it. The sight of her friend cooking up more for herself proved to be a tad bit distracting.
Humming a merry tune to herself, Twilight slid her spatula under another sizzling mass of pancake batter before flipping it over. “All in the wrist,” she said, smirking at the perfection, “You watching, Rainbow?”
“How could I not?”
She glanced at her friend. “Heh, you must really… Are you staring at me or the food?”
Rainbow’s face took on a blank expression. “Uh… I can tell you that I’m definitely staring at a pair of hotcakes.” She received a suspicious glare in return that Rainbow promptly looked away from. “Aheh, sorry. But this is just so surreal. It’s like watching a car accident.”
Twilight smirked, her eyes going half-lidded. Putting a hand on her hip, she asked, “Do I really look that bad?”
Rainbow stared at her for a long moment until a giggle escaped her lips. “Between your cuddling and this, I’d say you’re trying to seduce me.”
“Haha.” After taking a second to check on the pancakes, she added, “I still don’t see why you keep saying that. I specifically remember falling asleep in my own space.”
“Whatever you say, Twi.”
“Really!”
Rainbow rolled her eyes, but her grin dropped as the sound of approaching footsteps suddenly registered. Her hands made a few erratic gestures, caught somewhere between covering herself and not, but she planted them onto the table. I can do this, she thought, I’m Rainbow Dash! Something as silly as this isn’t going stop me!
The sound of the steps reaching their climax, Shining appeared from around the corner, the robe from last night wrapped around him. Instantly, his eyes widened as they locked onto Rainbow.
Oh goddesses, this is going to stop me! she cried as she leaned back in her chair, trying to sink into it.
Just a second shy of traversing into levels of awkward never before reached, Shining shrugged and turned toward Twilight. “Too tired for this. Don’t care… Pancakes?”
Watching him as he began to chat with his sister, Rainbow heaved out the breath she’d been holding in. A relieved laugh almost escaped her throat as she grasped for her fork again. Flip-flopping back into her “invincible Rainbow Dash” mindset, the girl couldn’t help the smirk that dawned across her lips. Just so long as nothing crazy happens—
“Hey, Rainbow?” Shining said, tossing a glance toward her, “Would it be cool if I drop the robe since you’ve dropped the blanket?”
The smirk that dawned across her lips died within a second. Me and my big mouth… She would be lying if she said she hadn’t been expecting this moment to arrive, but that didn’t make it any less… cringey? Awkward? All of the above? With a gulp, Rainbow responded with a slow nod.
“Thanks,” he said, reaching for the hem of the robe.
Wait, he’s not going to just strip in the kitchen, is he?
He pulled at the knot holding the bathrobe in place, causing the entire thing to sag.
Oh goddesses, he is! Rainbow’s heart skipped a beat as Shining threw off his only coverage and hung it off his chair. Plate of pancakes in hand, he thanked his sister before sitting down. “Mmf… Good stuff… So what you two doing up early?”
Since Rainbow’s only reply was an incomprehensible squeak, Twilight answered. “Rainbow woke up because of a dream she had. Her loud mouth woke me up.”
“At least you two got a full night’s sleep.” Swallowing another bite, he said, “Can I ask you a few things, Rainbow?”
“Uh-huh?” she replied, suddenly finding her breakfast quite interesting.
“Can I ask why you decided to forgo clothes? Even Cadence wasn’t that quick.”
“Um… After last night’s dinner and talking to Cadence, I had time to think? Then some weird stuff happened, I had a moment with Twilight, and my clothes were gone.”
Shining nodded as his eyes shone with complete incomprehension. “Okay then. So how long have you been dating my sister?”
Two sets of eyes shot open followed by their owners sharing a mortified stare. “We’re not dating!” they both rushed out.
Shining chuckled at the display. “Oh, come on. It’s so obvious! Yesterday, you were stripping down in front of Twilight when I walked in, then you two slept together, and now it seems she’s convinced you to join us. Don’t tell me that none of that meant anything.”
“But-but it didn’t!” Rainbow defended.
Twilight nodded with enough vigor to transform her hair into tangled mop. “We’re just friends. Always have been and still are.”
He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms. “Mmhm.”
“Ugh! Just don’t go blabbing off to Mom. I don’t need her breathing down my neck about getting into a relationship. Remember when you told her about Cadence?”
Shining shuddered.
“Exactly.”
“Don’t go blabbing about what?” Velvet asked, poking her head around the corner.
“Nothing!” they all chimed except for Shining, who said it a second too late.
Velvet shot each of them a suspicious look, but her eyes went wide as she spotted Rainbow. Unlike Shining, she didn’t question; instead, she just flashed a knowing smile.
“Want some pancakes?” Twilight asked.
“Oh, no thank you. I’ll just be getting my usual before heading off to work.”
“Suit yourself.”
As Velvet fully came around the corner, a blanket wrapped loosely around her (and doing nothing to cover her), Twilight loaded a plate with her own batch of pancakes before taking a seat. She wasted no time in digging into the stack. In a few moments, her mother took her own seat with a simple breakfast bagel in hand.
“How are you feeling about the test?” Twilight asked, snapping Rainbow to attention.
“Uh, a lot better than I was yesterday.”
Getting up from the table as he headed for the coffee maker, Shining asked, “What test are you studying for?”
“Trigonometry.”
“Oh goddesses, I remember that class too much. Miss Cheerilee?” At her nod, he added, “At least she’s a fun teacher. Want some coffee? Anyone?”
“Sure, thanks,” Rainbow replied along with everyone else.
“Anyway,” Twilight said, “Do you feel ready for it? We still have a few days before the test, so we have more time to study beforehand. Hay, you might want to study more just to be safe.”
Rainbow shrugged. “I’m feeling more confident, but we’ll see how I do on whatever review we’re going to be put through today.”
“Mmhm. Well if you want to study more, I’d be glad to help.”
“Thanks, Twi,” she answered before a thought occurred to her. “I think I promised Pinkie we’d study sometime, though… Mm, maybe we could all study together.”
“Looking to get her involved too?”
“Sure, why not—” Rainbow’s eyes shot open, but they promptly turned into a glare at Twilight’s giggling face. “Oh, haha,” she said, dripping with sarcasm.
A mug of coffee was set down in front of her, but she didn’t pay it much attention; she absentmindedly grasped it in her hand as her thoughts—and eyes— were elsewhere.
Rainbow blinked. I think I’ve already said this, but wow. This is happening. As she let the sight of the nude Sparkle family sink in, she found herself surprised by the emotions coursing through her. Small sparks of mortification aside, she felt… disappointed. But in a good way, if that made any sense. The girl had been downright terrified of exposing herself, but was this all there was to it?
“How’s the coffee?” Shining asked.
“…It’s alright,” she said, sipping her coffee, “Not bad at all.”
With a nod, the boy sat back down as he broke into some conversation with his sister. Rainbow didn’t pay much attention, content to watch from the sidelines. Yep, she thought, Not bad at all. Bringing the mug to her lips for another sip, she—
“Good morning, everyone!” Night Light called as he marched into the kitchen.
“Mmph!” Rainbow nearly choked on her drink as she saw him in his shameless glory.
Night Light’s eyes went wide as he saw the girl. Taking a hesitant step back, he said, “Oh, sorry! I forgot you were… here?” Velvet nudged her husband, sending him a look that said not to question it. He just shrugged after a moment.
Twilight looked back at her friend. “Hey Rainbow, I… what’s wrong?” she asked, seeing the lip-biting wince that plagued her friend’s face. Within seconds, the athlete was the center of attention.
A helpless squeak being forced from her throat, the only response Rainbow could muster was holding up her noticeably emptier mug for all to see.
It took only a second for the four family members to glance from Rainbow, to the mug, then back to Rainbow. Instantly, their hands shot to their mouths as each tried to hold back a snicker.
“Oh… forget you all,” Rainbow hissed through clenched teeth. Snatching up all the napkins within reach, she wasted no time in attacking the coffee scorching across her lap.
“Sorry, Rainbow,” Twilight said, “But we’ve all gone through that. It’s practically tradition.”
Rainbow tried glaring at each of their four smiling faces, but she was helpless to stop the grin that graced her lips. Letting out a sigh that jumped into a few chuckles, she shook her head.
“Everyone in this house is crazy.”
The next Monday…
Rainbow tapped her fingers in anxiousness as she watched Cheerilee go from desk to desk passing out papers. For this girl, however, she it was more than just another test. Pass or fail, the verdict was. Having spent the rest of the week reviewing with Twilight, she was sure she did well enough, but doubt kept her in a sort of grade-induced limbo.
Her eyes were almost reluctant to look as Cheerilee set down her test, but she forced herself to push onward. She zeroed in on the circled number written in red.
“…Yes!”
Twilight let out an “eep!” as Rainbow threw her arm around her, laughing in giddiness. “Rainbow?!”
“Twi! I passed!” she cheered.
She gasped. “Oh, that’s wonderful! You got an A?”
“Hay no! I got a B- and it was all thanks to you!” she said with a grin that would put Pinkie to shame.
Twilight’s eye twitched. “Uh… Congratulations.”
Rainbow belted out a few more eager cackles. “Really, thanks a lot. I actually managed a passing grade for the semester. You know what we should do? We should celebrate, my treat.”
“Oh?”
“Uh-huh. Here, I’ll text everyone. Tonight, there will be no sleeping.”
“It’s a school night, Rainbow.”
She rolled her eyes. “Hasn’t stopped me before.” After fiddling with her phone for a few minutes, she looked back up at her lavender friend. With a sheepish smile, she said, “Actually, it was great hanging out with you this past week. Studying aside, it was pretty fun.”
Twilight stared back, surprise shining in her eyes, but she returned the smile after a moment. “Oh…” she said, letting out a few small laughs, “I had fun too. It was a pleasure having you around.”
“Haha. I’ll admit that it was… awkward at first, but… yeah, it was cool.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
Rubbing the back of her head, she said, “Hey, do you think we could maybe…”
“Yes?” Twilight asked, her eyes widening.
“You know… study again sometime?”
Twilight nodded. “I’d like that.”
The two girls were silent for a pause, each of them gazing into each other’s eyes, cerise meeting lavender. “Twilight…?”
“Yes, Rainbow?”
Rainbow smirked. “You’re a great friend. The best that anyone could ask for.”
She laughed. “Aw, right back at you! Don’t tell the others this, but you’re my best friend. Always have been. Always will be.”
“Heh, I like the sound of that.” Glancing around for a moment, she said, “Well, I guess I’ll see you later?”
Twilight shrugged. “See you later… unless…”
“Huh?”
Twiddling her thumbs, she said, “Unless you would happen to have anything else you need to study for.”
Rainbow smirked. “Well… I might have a physics final this Friday.”
“Oh! Well, we’ll just have to take care of that, won’t we?”
“Haha!” Nudging her friend, she said, “Race you there?”
“What? Hey, wait up! Where are we even going?”
Glancing back over her shoulder, Rainbow grinned.
“Who knows? Let’s just see where we end up!”
They're just good friends! Take off your shipping goggles! 
I kind of went insane when writing this last chapter. Ah well, that was fun. Thanks for reading!
Hm, what should I write next...? Who's next to star in a nudist story? *looks at list of names* Well, I'm open for suggestions. 
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Nope. I refuse to sink that ship.
This was funny, so. thanks for writing a hilarious, fun, and mortifying story.
HOLY SHIT THE DAZZLINGS SHOULD BE NUDISTS.
Adorable!
I feel like Pinkie would be very open to the idea. Though I'm curious to see what Rarity would think of it.
I refuse to remove my shipping goggles.
Twilight, Rainbow dash, and now lets pull in RARITY AND AJ!
fuck friendship! bring on the shipping!
Applejack. She seems like the sort who could be easily coerced into nudity and might adapt to it quicker than most.
Also, my shipping goggles are firmly affixed, thank you. Now capitalize on it!
Aw, I was hoping for some romance at the end, but this is just as good.
Also, I'd like to see Applejack next.
Definitely Rarity next......
fun read and the shipping goggles may come off, but they're never far away.
sorry but i no longer have the ability to remove the all powerful ship goggles i think they have fused with my eyes send help
*Tries to*
I'm sorry! They're stuck on there!
5650971
Same. I can't. Especially not when Ell put that deliberate ship tease in there.
So does this mean pony Twilight's family members always wear clothes around the house?
Hang on, people are STILL upset about that?
Heh, that's a new one.
I'm trying get these...damn goggles off...but...I SHIPPED IT LIKE THE QE 2's MAIDEN VOYAGE!!!!
derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTMvMDMvMDYvMTZfMTBfMjJfMTQzXzI2NDIwMF9fVU5PUFRfX3NhZmVfYW5pbWF0ZWRfc2hpcHBpbmdfdHdpZGFzaF9naWZfdGFuZ2xlZC5naWYuZ2lmIl1d/264200__safe_twilight%2Bsparkle_rainbow%2Bdash_animated_shipping_pegasus_unicorn_twidash_disney_shipper%2Bon%2Bdeck_now%2Bkiss_tangled_vladimir.gif
That being said, I wouldn't mind a story about the "Nudie Mark Crusaders". Maybe have Dash and Twi introduce them to it during a vacation or something.
Wow, this was a very entertaining and fun, made my night just fine, and now I'm going to sleep with a happy face :), for next fic, include maud and pinkie, I'm shure they wouldn't mind nudism.
Fluttershy aaaaand-randomely picks name-Scootaloo
You know, I knew from the start there wasn't going to be shipping in this, and I thought it was great. This story is really beautiful, I'd like to see a swquel. In said sequel I think it'd be cool if the others girls were introduced to this idea as well, and eventually they all have a massive sleepover (probably at Twilight's). A naked sleepover where lesbian sex DOESN'T break out. Just six naked friends having an innocent good time. I think that would be beautiful.
Aww, story ended? Wait...
Rarity.
Amazing ending to a hilarious story! Loved it, loved every minute of reading this. Well done!
Sorry, no. That's not good friends, that's denial of true feelings right there.
I guess it's not just a river in egypt.
TWIDASHFOREVER!
If I had one issue, it's that the story seemed to go out of it's way to not ship them. Almost like you were contorting it so it wouldn't happen.
might just be me though.
4.bp.blogspot.com/-JBrJTQSmoZk/U3VxgJtvLFI/AAAAAAAACAQ/3cd6LkyC2qg/s1600/hallelujah-gif.gif
Thank you for a fic that has friendship, conflict resolution and no romance for the sake of romance.
5650984
I can forgive them for the entire EQ Girls universe because of Rainbow Rocks and Sunset Shimmer...But Spike as a dog still grinds my gears to this day.
Does this mean that you are continuing this universe?
I suggest Fluttershy and Sunset Shimmer.
Well, if you're gonna do it again... FLUTTERSHY
Though I suppose that's kinda mean of me to ask for a miracle like that. Maybe just Rarity!
haha... I've always thought that Zecora would make a good nudist, on the keeping-in-character side.
I come home from a hard day of work, I'm tired, I'm grumpy, and I can't think properly. And what do I find when I log on? I get a notice about one of the stories on my favorites list being updated. And to my surprise it was this one. You just made my Friday night.
The story has definitely been an interesting read, and I'm definitely sorry to see it coming to a close. But it was closed in a way that seems entirely proper and decent, so it's all good. And the possibility of a sequel, I'm really looking forward to that. Do we see more of Rainbow Dash settling into this newfound interest of hers, while another friend of their group learns about it?
5651149
Your username is surprisingly relevant.
SHIPPING!
Fluttershy
Oh dang! If only this Twilight was the Princess of Friendship, then that would mean Rainbow would be the equivalent of a Duchess or something!
Shipping goggles? Hah! I've never even gone as far as getting shipping postage stamps!
I really, really enjoyed this story. It is one of my most favorite so far! As someone who's a solo nudist, I can't help but love the care you put into this subject. Once again, twas an awesome read!
ouch.
Also, I was convinced Spike had jumped onto the couch with RD and Twi, and that was what Rainbow felt.
as for who could be next... Rarity...
Pinkie would be amusing. Great story Ellen. Definitely worth the read. It's also refreshing to see the lifestyle portrayed accurately. Cheeres!
T
Applause for tact and discretion in a well presented if socially awkward slice of life. Take a bow.
Discord as the custodian, ... why could I see that as actually ending up in EqG III?
As for next tale ... Cadance's prequel might prove interesting ... the whole no support plus a little more romantic pressure and awkwardness. Rarity might also prove an interesting candidate: the fashionista stripped of fashion, or the clothes horse sans clothes. I'm sure the most prim and proper might be an interesting challenge in a piece like this.
On the other hoof I'm almost surprised Rainbow didn't make a reference to a locker room or to post PE showers in the whole story. You'd think with the number of school sports she's played she might have made the comparison or reference once. Or maybe I'm just too tired to recall if she did.
5650924
Why do you think it's called freindSHIP
5651367 Actually yes. The ultimate textile who literally designs clothing. That would be hilarious.
T
Okay, let me just take them off-- *Sees two people* AH! THE NON SHIPPING! IT BURNS!
Okay, got an idea for your next nudist story. Sunset Shimmer invites the girls over to her place (Wherever it may be) for a sleepover/slumber party/ whatever. Turns out she's a nudist too (Well, duh! She is a pony after all and used to being naked all the time). Rainbow and Twilight are fine with it and join in, while everybody else is going through exactly what Rainbow went through.
Or just write something with Maud in it. Everybody loves Maud.
5651082
Seconded.
And then the rest find out they're nudists.
Yep.
The shipping never stops...
Lyra next?
I'd hit it with a ship stick, but it has been swatted out of my hand.
Perhaps Rarity will try to give Twilight some form of clothing that's meant to be worn around the house...
What Shining and Cadence are not a ship if they already are shipped in canon. Or did you mean Twilight and Rainbow with YOUR shipping words coming out of Shining's mouth and YOUR playful banter over them being nude in front of each other at the end? I think you are the one with the shipping goggles, my fabulous writing friend.
I think having Rarity undergo the same experience would be a laugh riot.
Shipping goggles? Sorry, I invested in contacts years ago.
the goggles shall remain very firmly on, tyvm
I saw a few "hay" puns here. This is EG, not going to have that as much....
Keep going! ;)
An excellent story to read! You should do one with Pinkie and Fluttershy, methinks.