Just your run-of-the-mill changeling, trying to get some love for my stories. I like redeemed villains, and I can't stand depressing stuff, my sanity is far too fragile already.
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A mare in Canterlot awakens with a splitting headache and a strange note stuck to her horn. Oh, right, and she's stuffed into a broom closet.
Notifications: Updates will be few and far between, but requests have convinced me to continue this as a multi-part story. I'll try to write as often as I can, but I can't promise anything.
I improve as a writer based on feedback, so please leave a comment with opinions/criticisms/potatoes, whatever suits you.
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changelings.
I knew it.
Very good job. Hope to see a sequel some day but it works just fine as a one-shot as well.
But just a oneshot ?
Need a sequel where Raindance and Phylum Glow meet
5483163
5483468
5483103
I'll see what I can do, but no promises. i write one shots because my attempts at chaptered stories have never gotten completed. I have to finish with the same inspiration I started with, otherwise I just can't continue.
But for a sequel, the answer is a definite maybe.
5483584 Agreed. You also gave everyone a chance and that's good.
5483614
Well, I almost always prefer redemption for my villains. There's just so much more potential for story.
(Except Grant Ward from Agents of Shield, he needs three rounds through the forehead)
Good stuff.
5483644 Well just make sure you give her more reason to be evil. Just saying.
5483701
Oh, she's got more. She's not really evil right now, though, just really unstable. She needs counseling and therapy to start to see that, and she won't get it unless she has to, like what Celestia would do for her while she was captured.
5484403 Indeed. That sounds great!
5483644 Grant Ward of S.H.I.E.L.D is pretty much a jerk no matter how you look at it. Then again he's actually HYDRA. *shouts to other readers* yes we are talking about a different show, just watch it okay?
i.ytimg.com/vi/9JcfTrWu2bo/maxresdefault.jpg
Nice little story! Bit of a head-canon dump, but it made sense in context, so that lessens it a bit.
And don't worry; it's perfectly alright if you're better with short stories than long ones. Just know your strengths, keep leading to improve what you can, and stick with it. That alone will get you more respect than any long, meticulously-planned story. Trust me, I know.
Hoo boy, do I know.
On a side note, do you read clop? I'd rather like a pre-reader for something I'm writing.
5490939
Why, yes, I do indeed. I have a few caveats, though; PM me to continue this line of thought, as I'd rather not describe M-rated stuff in the comments of this story.
5485306 I watched Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., too. There's one scene that stands out that makes me still think Grant Ward is still one of the "good guys"
After Garrett was revealed to be "the Clairivoyant", Coulson and Grant have a conversation that is clearly pissing Grant off. Immediately after, Grant relays that Coulson asked that he accompany Victoria Hand to ensure Garrett is put away. Instead, Grant kills Hand & helps Garrett escape. As Season 1 ends, Coulson is really ticked about Grant & the feeling is evidently mutual.
But that conversation they had STILL sticks out as something that doesn't belong for one very important reason--if Grant were truly HYDRA, he would've voulenteered, even begged, to go with Hand & be happy to do so after talking with Coulson. Instead, Grant is thoroughly and clearly pissed.
As a result, the ONLY thing that makes sense from that one scene is that Coulson gave him such specific orders that Grant is to pretend to be HYDRA and NOT stop--whether Grant is captured by SHIELD or not--for him to kill whoever he has to in order to make it look like he's HYDRA--until Coulson, and Coulson alone, tells him to stop, since no one knows just how deep HYDRA had penetrated S.H.I.E.L.D.
That is the sort of story that Marvel Comics had done in some of their comics in the past.
5559363
No way. He would've thrown a bone to Fitz and Simmons, or not PSYCHOPATHICALLY MURDERED HIS OWN BROTHER.
Ward is a HYDRA bad apple, straight to the core.
... Good idea, I think I may just write my own adaptation of this in a longer chaptered story. Or I could write this into my current story when I get to the invasion.
5559382 We'll see. Not trying to argue, but what you said got me to thinking:
Anyone want to do a "Ward = Bab Seed" crossover? It'd be awesome! LOL
5560364
Actually... if you want, I might like to collab a little bit. Phylum is actually a really intricate character, I just couldn't write in any development here. I have plans for the next chapter, but i'm dealing with finals week and college applications and scholarships, etc. I'd like to get in touch, though.
....please find a way to continue this....
5578832
I'm trying, It's not easy.
fair enough...
Well I wish you the best of luck in the sequel because this story is amazing!
5693190
You're too kind. This is a good one, but my work leaves a lot to be desired. I have some ideas for where to go from here, but it's so hard to make them hold still long enough to write them.
At this point, suggestions are quite welcome.
5693305 hmm well I'm still thinking of how a whole story could be made but I know one scene that would be hilarious. The awkwardness of the two of them explaining the story to her husband and then him admitting "oh and also I snuggled with you...yeah" XD
5699792
Hmm... maybe. I like it, but I don't like writing awkward, and I'm not good at it. Hmm.
This is a fantastic start. Don't stop!
5700804 another thing that would be interesting is seeing how Shining reacts to the mercy plan against the species that attacked his wedding and brainwashed him. A lot of really cool things could be done with this concept. Also you could have Radiance meet Phylum during the attack when he is taken prisoner.
You can't just leave it there! This needs more! Seriously! This definitely doesn't read like a one shot. More like the first chapter. Please please please do more.
5874664
I know, and I want to write more! But I need support. Somebody to give suggestions and bounce ideas with. I don't have much time to spare, but I really want to do more for this.
5875750
Okay here's a suggestion. You can start the first chapter in the hive from Phylum Glow's point of view. You know, introduce him (or her). You could shift view points from Phylum to Raindance. There's a big fight that ends in Chrysalis' capture and Celestia welcoming the changelings with open arms. Then near the end Phylum and Raindance get a drink as friends.
5875941
Huh. Something from Phylum's POV could be interesting. I might have enough inspiration to write that! Thanks!
5876052
Your welcome. Glad I could help out. I look forward to what you come up with.
Oh cool. I was beginning to think this story had died.
I look forward to the next chapter! Keep up the good work!
(Also, I didn't notice any obvious errors, but I'm not a Grammar Nazi, so meh.)
5891900
The story will continue... eventually. I just need a lot of feedback to fuel my creative engine.
*Puts on goggles and turns around* "More power, my minions! Stoke the firebox with comments! I need Chapter Three, post-haste!"
5891973
You could probably get a bit more viewership if you submitted your story to a few more groups. Get it out there, ya know?
Higher viewership has statistically been show to be linked to higher numbers of reader comments, after all.
Oh, this wasn't a one-shot? Okay then. Well, I'd like to submit an OC of my own.
http://chat.ponytopia.net/profile/Switch_Lock
5892657
Hmm. Interesting. If I use him, though, I have to warn you he'll be both paranoid and a little unbalanced. Rogue changelings would be cut off from the hive-link, and from the Fora.
It'd be like traumatically losing your sense of empathy: You'd constantly feel like you were misreading someone's emotions, followed by constant fear that they were angry and about to attack you and you didn't notice.
Basically, if I use him, he'll be paranoid, misanthropic, and always on edge. Just letting you know.
5892773 Okay then. You can check out my other OCs by clicking my name on the profile just under the OC's name. See if there's anyone else you'd like to use. My list is open. (Except for the joke chars. They're not for serious stories.)
For the next chapter you could move to Raindance's perspective. I would like to know how Celestia and Luna will react to the note.
Are you looking for the Greek word for "Health"? Because I am Greek.
5936581
Modified Latin, actually, but thank you for noticing. All my changeling names are loosely adjusted Latin.
5938206 Anytime... looking forward to more.
Oh, I like this, I really do. I don't have anything particular to comment on, but have a track and up vote.
5987203
Thank you!
Gonna call it on chapter 2 here, the whole mess in the hive, the threat of invasion. We can blame it all on Blueblood.
Horns are very handy without magic.
Since when can Changelings read minds?
Who do you think you are, calling him a bug?
See? They feed on the passive love you have for each other.
He's giving it away. It doesn't hurt him if he gives you love, so how could that possibly hurt him if he gives it to a 'Ling?
'Lings are ponies. Maybe we should ask why they are not allowed in Equestria? Do you have something to say Celestia?
Like a wedding ring...
I know of a certain white unicorn stallion who could help her out.
I thought 'Lings had more human names; Greg, Tom, Stephanie, Nurse Glee(I really wanted to say Joy, but that's a pony name).
If she really wants Equestria, she should encroach on it. A few 'Lings in every settlement.
Perhaps a coup installing a new queen is in order?