Heritage

MerlosTheMad #1 · Jan 9th, 2015 · · ·

Well written and interesting. I'm not a fan of the dragon's name being Spyro, though. I find it a bit silly and it takes out a lot of the seriousness of the story. Still, I tried to think of it in a good light even with that hindrance toward my opinion of it, and found I still liked it. The idea of dragons and ponies being very far detached from one another, and that this dragon really was going to just die alone with his unhatched son, until a random pony walks in... It was good. ^^

ultraokami

ultraokami #2 · Jan 9th, 2015 · · ·

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Not sure about the Spyro cross over But, i do like the your idea for the origin of Spike's egg. After every ep with dragons i have wondered why Celestia had a dragon egg. As well as why was Twilight's first test was to hatch a dragon of all creatures. To me Spike has been gradually climbing the ranks on my favorite character list. I think the reason why is like Luna not a lot is known about him. So I can wonder and imagine his origin and possible future. In fact my personal favorite fics are usually to do with him. Like For the Ones we Love, Subconscious Desire and, A Dragon's Pride and a Mare's kindness, to name a few.

IceDragonKing

IceDragonKing #3 · Jan 9th, 2015 · · ·

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Will Spike face Malefor and the Grublins and resurrect everything that the Dragon Realms (Equestria now) had lost?

FaelaArts

FaelaArts #4 · Jan 9th, 2015 · · ·

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5483827 Story's a one shot, forgot to mark it complete ^^'

Zerodius

Zerodius #5 · Jan 10th, 2015 · 6 · ·

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Very unfortunate that this is an one-shot because I recognized the crossover and frankly, this is a GARGANTUAN butterfly.

Spike being not only the descendant of Spyro but being purple like him means he inherited his curse ; this means he is the destined Dark Master of the generation, infused with the ability to control all forms of magic and, above all else, black magic. It also means he is destined to destroy the world and will struggle with growing madness, increasingly becoming violent and insane until he become a puppet for the Dark Realm's prophecy unless he can find a way to break it.

... which speaking of and judging from the scene Spike's egg was discovered in, something Spyro failed to (the implication being that he snapped and killed Cynder in his madness and that he's willingly letting himself die as to avoid becoming completely consumed by the curse, like Malefor was).

I do think it would be a major butterfly if Spike was pretty much packing enough black magic to make Sombra look like a puppy and had a destiny that would horrify Tirek and Nightmare Moon alike. He's pretty much, cosmically, saddled with the role of being the very opposite to the Elements of Harmony and the Princess of Friendship...

TyrakatheDragonFan

TyrakatheDragonFan #6 · Oct 3rd, 2016 · · ·

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A cool little story. As a Spyro fan I appreciate it.

Muggonny

Muggonny #7 · Feb 4th, 2017 · · ·

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Not a bad story. Fairly well-written for a padded one-shot. My only issue was the first paragraph.

Celestia shook below the towering form of the oldest Dragon in history, wondering why she had let her sister put her up to this. While they were Alicorns, and stronger than regular ponies, Celestia seriously doubted even she could defend herself against such a monster. It breathed out, a gust of wind that nearly blew her away, and two golden eyes slowly opened.

That last sentence felt inappropriately placed. The first paragraph is the most important because it tells the reader what the story is going to be like. I thought there were going to be errors all around, but that was the only one I found that bothered me.

FaelaArts

FaelaArts #8 · Feb 4th, 2017 · · ·

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7921739 It does? I must be blind, I'm not seeing it sorry It seems fine to me ^^

Muggonny

Muggonny #9 · Feb 5th, 2017 · · ·

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7922311 The first two sentences talk about how Celestia's afraid that she can't defend herself, then it shifts to the dragon waking up. Now, if you're going to do something like this to make the scene horrid, you have to be specific on the wording choice. It would have been more effective if you said something like

She jumped as it blew a gust of wind that nearly blew her away.

Even if you don't like that example, it makes the scene more suspending according to the protagonist, Celestia.

It breathed out, a gust of wind that nearly blew her away, and two golden eyes slowly opened.

I read this over and over to make sure; the comma after 'out' is inappropriately placed. If you don't see it, try pausing after every comma. If the pause feels good, it's a well-placed comma. If the pause feels inappropriate, you might want to take it, out (see what I did there? :D).

I'd say the second part of the sentence

two golden eyes slowly opened

can be fitted in a simple second paraph. Usually, the introduction should at least be more than two paragraghs. Too long makes the story undesirable, too little might be a sign of a story that doesn't care where it goes.

Just trying to be helpful. Forgive me if I come off as rubbish in the muck.

Muggonny