Jake and his friends are sent to equestria but not the normal one. No, this one has been corrupted. Jake is taken as a blood slave only for all his friends to change for the worse. not a clopfic just sexual refrences
Chapters (3)
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Go here please: School for New Writers
Thank you.
Ever heard of the anime Hellsing Ultimate? Because I'm getting the strangest feeling that you have. For those who don't know, the plot of HU is that a young police girl named Saras is turned into a vampire by Alucard, and with the Hellsing Organization, must take down the vampire-Nazis. The problem here is that it feels like you took the anime, subbed in a few names, and turned everyone ponies, while turning the point of view to the vampire-apprentice. Oh, right, and the vampires have no sense of morality because it's more fun that way.
Now, I'm aware that isn't a perfect comparison. But, I'm sorry, can I make a suggestion? Focus the story on some interesting characters, not this personality-less self-insert. To be honest, I'm more interested in the mane 6 than Jake.
This story really is one big mess, and I have a feeling that it only got 6 upvotes because of the plot itself. Being a vampire is something a lot of people want, because, come on, who doesn't want this:
2.bp.blogspot.com/-zkWU34pvQrQ/UMd61FoJffI/AAAAAAAAAM8/NACDC8uIuJc/s1600/alucard-hellsing-15786-1366x768.jpg
My suggestion would be to take a break from writing and listen to some of the lectures at the School for New Authors.
And yes, I am aware that there was a Hellsing before Hellsing Ultimate. I just used the latter because I've never seen the original.
5514674
Dude I've heard of that anime but never seen it. The next chapter focus' more on Jake though. I also have no sense of morality.
The next chapter forces what you would never think that would happen to happen. Looks like fluttershy wants a main part in this story.
Interesting.