• Published 31st May 2012
  • 1,772 Views, 24 Comments

One of those Days... - Crimson Valor



Ever had one of those days where you can't explain what happened...yeah try a lifetime.

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Chapter 5 (Edited)

(Thanks to LordGremlin for Pre-reading this chapter)

Chapter 5

One of those Days

I woke up the next day to Ruby nudging me with her nose; I sat up and rubbed my eyes to clear my vision. I looked towards the clock, noticing that I slept through the whole morning.
"Wow, I haven’t slept that well in ages," I muttered to myself. The clock read 1 o’clock in the afternoon. I got out of bed and realized more casual clothes had been laid out for me. 'Rarity must've made some more for me. I must thank her properly when I get the chance'.

After getting dressed, I opened my door and began walking downstairs, Ruby following behind me sniffing at the air. She started walking ahead of me when we reached the bottom of the stairs. She sniffed the floor as though she was following a familiar scent. Her tail then started to wag as she approached the door, but stopped when she reached it. Ruby then lay on the floor next to the door. Instantly recognizing what she was planning, a small smile appeared on my face. I went and sat on the sofa facing the door and waited for the poor pony about to be jumped.

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Twilight

Walking towards Cadence's house, Twilight shifted the weight of her saddle bags a little, full to the brim with books of Equestrian history.
"I hope this isn't too much for him to read," Twilight said to herself as she approached the door. As she got closer, her horn sparked to life as she grasped the handle in her telekinetic grip and pushed the door open.
Twilight noticed Simon sitting on the sofa staring at the door with a smile on his face.
"Hello, Simon. You seem rather happy today; I presume you had a good night’s sleep?" Twilight said as she walked in and closed the door, unaware of the golden stalker to her left crawling toward her. Simon just sat there trying not to laugh at what approached. Twilight took note of this.
"What's so fun....ARGH!"

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Simon

The door opened to reveal Twilight entering with her bag filled to the brim with books. She looked up at me with a smile.
"Hello, Simon. You seem rather happy today; I presume you had a good night’s sleep?" she said as she shut the door with her magic. My eyes quickly flicked over to Ruby, who was sneaking up to Twilight. I tried valiantly to hold back a laugh, but all that did was leave a weird expression on my face. Twilight picked up on this.

"What's so fun...ARGH!" Twilight didn't get to finish her sentence as Ruby pounced on Twilight’s side and knocked her over. Failing to control my mirth, I burst out laughing as Ruby assaulted Twilight’s face with licks. I struggled to breathe as Twilight tried to breathe through the onslaught of licks she was receiving. Recovering from the laughing, I whistled to Ruby to stop and come to me. She did so and sat down in front of me as I head a gasp of breath coming from the pony on the floor. I petted Ruby and walked over to Twilight to help her up.

Twilight sat on the sofa wiping her face dry from the recent lick assault. She didn't seem too impressed with my laughter. I decided to speak up "Sorry about that, Twilight. She used to do that to me when I got back from late night studying. I couldn't help myself," I said to her. Twilight looked up towards me with a blank expression. I looked toward Ruby who was sensing Twilight’s look and had her ears down flat against her head.

"Ruby, what do you say to Miss Twilight?" I said to her. Ruby looked towards me, and then to the pony opposite, and began to walk slowly to her. She gave her an apologetic look and whined as she put her head on the edge on the sofa.
Twilight looked at Ruby and then to me with a confused face. I shrugged to her as she looked down to Ruby, a small smile teasing at her lips. She raised a hoof and stroked Ruby's head. Ruby acknowledged the friendly gesture and started to brighten up, waging her tail and giving the hoof a small lick before lying down next to the sofa Twilight sat upon. I then stared at the books that were lying in an organized pile on the table.

"Hey Twilight, what's with all these books?" I said as I picked one up. ‘Equestrian History 101’.
"Oh, well, when I was questioning you about Humans and Earth, I remembered that I didn't really tell you much about Equestria, so I went to the library and took out some books for you to read," she stated as she levitated the books out onto the table so I could look at all the titles.

There were 6 in total, including the one in my hand. The titles were ‘Magic Explained’, ‘The Griffon Kingdom and its inhabitants’, ‘The Dragon Kingdom and its Inhabitants’, Pegasi, Unicorns and Earth Ponies’ and ‘The Royal Sisters’.
I looked at each of the books and saw how much Twilight expected me to read. 'Holy hell, this is at least two months’ worth of reading at my speed. I'll never finish all of this’. I looked up to Twilight, who was busy rubbing Ruby's stomach as the dog’s rear leg kicked out of control. I grabbed her attention.

"Erm...Twilight… you don't expect me to read ALL of these, do you?" I questioned Twilight. She looked at me with a face that said it all.

"Well...not really. I don't think anyone apart from me could read all of these. I just thought you'd look at some of these just to get the basics of our world," she stated. That's understandable. I opened up the book in my hand at a random page and saw the title "Cutie Marks".

Reading the name again, I looked up and viewed the mark on Twilights hind leg. 'Hmmm, I wonder..." Twilight, that mark on your hind leg, that wouldn't be what this book calls a 'Cutie Mark', would it?" I asked.
Twilight looked at her mark, then at me with a smile on her face.

"It is. It represents my talent in magic. I got it when Princess Celestia asked me to be her personal student," she said, happy that she could teach something to someone. Looking back at the book, I thought of something that might make a certain unicorn happy.

"Hey Twilight, I've just had an idea," I announced whilst closing the book. I return it to the table. "Instead of reading about certain topics, why not just get the information straight from the horse’s mouth....if you forgive the pun," I added on the last part to notify Twilight of the use of the phrase. Twilight’s mouth stretched further then it should have, when a smile graced her face.

"That's a wonderful idea. I could tell you anything you want to know about Equestria like the way I asked you about Earth," she replied.

I nodded in agreement. "Sounds good. When you want to start?" I asked.
"Well. I'm not busy now, and Cadence will be a while, sorting some stuff at the Palace. So, how about now?" Twilight asked. I could sense that she would enjoy the prospect of teaching another species about her own world and culture. I catch her shifting around her seat, eager to get started as soon as possible.

"Sure, now seems go-" I was interrupted by my growling stomach, reminding me that I had yet to eat at all today, as small blush appeared on my face.

"Erm...maybe we should eat first. I kinda skipped on breakfast," I chuckled sheepishly. Twilight giggled into her hoof and nodded her head. She started heading towards the kitchen to prepare us a meal.

Author's Note:

Long time no see, I know I haven't been updating this story...at all and really have no excuse. I just keep forgetting I have ever written a story until I get a Notification stating someone is following the story. But looking at the ratings, I see people enjoy reading it. So I will try my hardest to type up chapters and publish them for you viewing pleasure.

If I again don't write for a long time, Bug me until I do. PM me or harass the hell out of my user page. Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter.

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Comments ( 2 )

2805545 I know this is not 'Great' by any means, I'll use the excuse "Not writing for a long time" yada yada yada. I apologize for that.

As for the "Accepting", who said anything about him accepting what has happened? Maybe he still...Hmmm what's the best word... 'Digesting' the position he's in.

Boring story, similar to the thousands of HiE cluttering this site.

Why it's boring ?

- The MC don't give a fuck about being in a new world, he don't give a fuck about talking mythical creatures, he don't give a fuck about is life on earth.
- The MC don't struggle at all. From the start everything is handed to him on a silver platter, he's welcomed by the Princess and the whole gang ( minus RD, yet ). Rarity make him cloth, he's housed for free in Cadence's house ( shouldn't Cadence live in the Crystal empire when Twilight got coronated ? ).
- The author don't describe anything allowing me to think that the world or the characters are alive or différents than the thousands others story like this.

There is no surprise, discovery or awe sentiment from the MC in this story. He don't really seems alive to me, because he don't react to what happen to him or what he see over the course of the current story.
Maybe you should describe things more, like the similarities or differences between his world and Equestria.

As I was hyperventilating the door opens to revels 'a...pony? no wait a pink Pony with a horn and wings with a...what I presume is her mane which is split into 3 colour Purple, Pink and cream' Both our eyes met and silence was heard throughout the room

Here, you should describe things more. A real Pony have a long muzzle, slender but shorts legs and eyes a little larger than a human.
While Equestrian Pony have short muzzle, rounded head, BIG eyes and chubby legs for exemple.
Describe the differences, describe how alien it is for the MC to see Pony-shaped creatures bending their limbs with human-like fashion when a real Pony cannot do it. A real pony cannot scratch the back of his head with his foreleg, while Equestrian Pony can do it.

In chapter 3 you could describe the furnitures and interior buildings more. Are the doorways high enough for the MC ? Are the chairs comfortable or build to accomodate other thing than a pony posterior ?
Also, the MC don't take any shower or bath ? Didn't read anything relevant to this, why not ? It's always a good way to allow the MC to learn more about this new world and how everything work.


Adding these kind of détails add to the quality of the story and allow the story to be different than any other story.


So far this story is not original at all compared to the various HiE I've read. It's above average true, and the fact that the author edit and correct things is a good point.
But it's still really bland and already done, it's the classical " Human die, goes to Equestria, make friends with the main cast right away, learn he cannot leave, build a new life and fuck ponies ".
And I don't find that appealing at all, read too many story exactly like this.

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