~ ??? ~ A Long Wait ~ End of Book I ~
Carousel Boutique had never looked emptier and, in fact, it had never been emptier. Most of her things had already been carted away, taken to the train that would lead her to a new life away from Ponyville. Away from her family. Away from the Everfree Forest, and away from… her.
“Rarity… I don’t want you to go…”
Trotting out of Carousel Boutique, Rarity stopped and embraced the little filly trailing behind her, whose hot tears stained her elder sister’s coat. Pinkie Pie was outside already, suitcases littered beside her, containing the rest of Rarity’s entire life.
Well. Not her entire life. The most important part of it was still in the Everfree Forest, but…
Anyway.
“Aww, it’s okay, Sweetie,” Pinkie said sympathetically, her ears lowering. “Rarity will still visit lots! And we’re coming back next Friday to do all the drawings for Princess Twilight, remember?! We’ll fill the tunnel with so many of them, she’ll have to come out!”
Sweetie Belle sniffled, burying her face in Rarity’s coat. “I don’t care.”
“Sweetheart, you know I must. Princess Luna needs help,” Rarity murmured, finally, every word weighing down on her heart. She held the filly closer and rubbed her back in soothing motions. “And Pinkie’s right! I shan’t be away for too long! What would I do without my precious baby sister?”
“What if…” Sweetie sniffled, clutching her sister with as much strength as she could. “What if you… What if you don’t come back, like Princess Twilight?”
Rarity’s answer caught in her throat, and heavens, she thought she was over it, but there were the tears, stinging at her eyes. Six months now, six months of not allowing herself to think of Princess Twilight Sparkle, and still her heart cracked with a simple sentence.
“I’m not leaving forever, Sweetie,” she whispered, picking up her little sister and nuzzling her because oh, she wished somepony had been there to nuzzle her as she sat by a black barrier months ago. “You have my word on that.”
After a minute, she put the filly down and let out a long sigh, looking over her suitcases. “I believe this is all, isn’t it?” she thought aloud, running through her mental checklist of things to take to Hollow Shades.
“Yep! I got aaaaaall your suitcases from aaaaaall your rooms,” Pinkie said, getting up and hopping in place. “We can take them to the train station now, though, and wait there until everypony comes to say goodbye!”
Rarity swallowed. Goodbye.
A word she’d come to loathe. A word that wounded her constantly. A word she never got to say to…
“Splendid!” she said, cutting off her poisonous thoughts and forcing a smile. She couldn’t allow herself to fall back. She’d held strong for six months now, and she had to continue now more than ever.
“Hoo!”
She looked up, and a warm smile spread across her lips at the sight of a black owl flying toward her and landing on her outstretched hoof.
“Well, well, if it isn’t Themis! I was wondering where you were, you silly thing!” she exclaimed, raising an eyebrow at the bird. After everything was said and done, he was her pet as much as he was… She cleared her throat and continued, “I’d have been quite sad to leave without saying goodbye!”
The owl hooted, adjusting his wings against his body.
“Though, I notice somepony else is missing,” she said, looking around, toward the top of the boutique and the nearby trees. “Wherever is Elara? I’d like to say goodbye to her, too.”
“You know where she is,” Sweetie Belle murmured, sniffling and pawing at the ground. “She’s always there.”
Again, Rarity’s heart fell.
“Ah, yes,” she said, and after she’d coaxed Themis into the air, her hoof landed on the necklace hanging on her chest. A silly pink necklace that had not glowed brightly for a long, long time. “I…” She paused, licking her lips and looking toward the distant forest. “I… I should go and say goodbye, then.”
“To both of them, right?” Pinkie asked with a sad smile, and it felt to Rarity as if the wounds in her heart had been opened anew.
She looked toward a nearby suitcase and levitated the folded cloak resting on it.
“To both of them.”
She knew the forest like the back of her hoof now, if only because she travelled it every three days. Or had, at least. She wouldn’t anymore.
She knew every path, every corner, every trail that led to a place—or pony—she once thought of as home. She’d once heard or read, she didn’t quite remember, that ponies went through certain stages of grief after the death of a loved one.
And that was, essentially, what she’d gone through, hadn’t she?
And now she had to face the last stage.
The tree appeared in the distance, a symbol that had once stood for hope and love but now stood for… for the mistake she’d made. Six months seemed short in the grand scheme of things, but six months was long enough for a pony to think, and think, and think, and think.
What she could have said.
What she should have said.
All the things she could have done that might have prevented the attack.
All the things she could have said that might have saved Twilight from… from whatever fate she was currently experiencing.
Was she in pain? Was she hurting? Was she still alive? The necklace was still glowing, but that last thought consumed Rarity. Clawed away at her sanity until she’d forced herself to block it out lest she fall into the same pitch-black depression she’d had to fight off when she was cursed.
She understood, now, what it was to blame oneself for something.
She made her way toward the trapdoor, lighting up her horn, and when she descended, her heart shrank at the distant tapping sound. Oh, Elara, she thought, and so too did her ears fall when she found a small white owl pecking away at the barrier, several inkwells beside her.
“Elara?”
Elara turned around, blinking at Rarity before helplessly hooting twice and looking back and forth between Rarity and the barrier. She walked to one of the nearby inkwells and pushed it with her wings, trying to make it go through the barrier.
Goodness, it was hard.
“Elara, dearest, she’s go…” She faltered, because it hurt. It hurt to say it, to think it, to accept it, but accept it she must. Was that not the last stage of grief? “Waiting here isn’t good for you,” she continued, and in the back of her mind, she knew the owl wasn’t the only one who needed to hear that.
But Elara protested, hooting loudly and pressing the inkwell against the barrier again.
Tears burned at Rarity’s eyes, and so she stepped forward, watching as the owl moved away and gave her a clear path to the barrier. It was like a wall, black and crackling, and to think that Twilight was on the other side… So close, so painfully close, and as far away as she’d ever be, but now…
Now, Rarity could wait no longer. She needed to help the others. She needed to help, or her own thoughts would consume her like they did Princess Twilight Sparkle.
After putting the cloak on the floor, she pressed her forehead against the barrier, and though it crackled at her touch, it did not reject her. She breathed, in and out, in and out, and with all the pain in the world, spoke up.
“Twilight?” she said, defeated, pleading. “Twilight, darling, I don’t know if you can hear me, but…” A pain shot through her. “I’m leaving. I can’t stay here anymore.”
She kept talking, and as she spoke, as she tried to justify her departure, she wondered if her actions were having any consequence or effect, because now it felt like she’d only made things worse. Now, standing there, a part of her echoed Twilight’s words in a reluctant whisper.
Maybe it would have been better if they never met.
When she finished talking, she held her breath and swallowed, tears streaming down her face. One day, she hoped, they would stop. Her horn lit up, and the necklace brightened, but when no pony replied, she breathed out and spoke up.
“Goodbye, my darling.” Another pause. “I miss you.”
And then, finally, she leaned back, getting up and stepping away from the barrier. She took the cloak and neatly placed it next to the inkwells, brushing her hoof over the note pinned to it. She would never wear it again.
After a moment, she took a deep breath, trying to steady her thoughts, and looked down at Elara, who now sat by the barrier.
“Elara? Will you come with me?” she asked.
Though the owl hooted softly, she did not move.
A tired smile swept across Rarity’s face. “Are you sure?” she asked, and when the owl hooted again, held in place, she took another deep breath. “You know…” She looked toward the stairs in the distance. “My train isn’t due to leave for a few hours yet.”
She moved back toward the barrier and sat opposite the owl.
“Would you mind if I wait with you for a while?”
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I KNOW IT'S NOT CHAPTER 37, but I do have news on that, which is that the tentative release date for it is SEPTEMBER 18TH. Maybe August. Maybe.
Anyway yes.
I didn't add this originally because of silly insecurity reasons, EVEN THOUGH I HAD THIS PLANNED AND VISUALIZED FOR SO LONG, SO LONG, THE ELARA SCENE WAS IN MY HEAD FOR YEARS, but my insecurities got to me, and the story suffered for it (in my opinion) but EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES AND what is this but a lesson in trusting your instincts.
Elara is best owl.
8231508
omg
That's so unfair of you.
This didn't make me cry outright, but the pain's there.
I have to say, though, that it was more effective to read 36 first. I'd recommend putting this after it.
8231508
I agree. That was so bittersweet.
Overtime I read one of these interludes, I am compelled to slice up an onion.
Yep.
That's why my face is always wet after reading them.
All because of onions.
8231533
I actually can't decide whether it would fit after 36. I feel like putting it there would be a bit useless, since we already know how it ends? And this is sort of to ease the pacing between 35 and 36 because that was a complaint. Thoughts?
8231536
Phyco, I trust u and ur judgement, can you weigh in on the above discussion pls
Elara is definitely best owl. This does a lot to help the transition, I agree, and I'm glad it's out there!
i need to hug Elara
But I can't
Why u do dis to me.
Tell me; where is an Elara plushie? For I much desire to hug her.
Do not go quietly into the night, Rarity. Burn the dark away with righteousness and zeal. Your Princess awaits you.
Wow that was good.
8231538
While the pacing is a little bit odd between the chapters, I think this does work better after 36. I think this is for a couple reasons.
First, any timeskip is going to have a bit of a bump if you don't somehow warn the readers. This isn't always a bad thing. Honestly, I think it works pretty well here because the reader gets to find out just how much time has passed at the same time Twilight does. Adding the interlude between the chapters robs the reader of this experience. Adding it after the chapter preserves the experience while still providing that all-important kick right in my feels.
Second, I think it closes the first book much nicer than the end of Chapter 36. The end of 36 neatly closes off the tale of freeing Twilight and (rightfully) closes with her as the focus. Unfortunately, the book is part of a much larger world and closing with the Interlude serves both to smooth the timeskip and remind the reader of the larger world that the crew is going out to save.
That said, I do have a couple thoughts on the story as a whole. Keep in mind that I read the whole thing, which means I enjoyed it enough to do so. These are my feedback and not meant as an attack or requirement to change things.
First, I'm afraid I'm not a fan of ships between main characters. They pull me out of the story. Personally, I feel that leaving Twilight and Rarity at Heterosexual Life Partners would have worked out just as well without pushing my willing suspension of disbelief. The romance did nothing to advance the plot that an exceptionally strong friendship couldn't also have achieved.
Second, on the execution side of the romance, while generally handled quite well (ignoring my shipping complaint), I did have one issue. Rarity is initially established as straight, but flips preferences within weeks upon meeting Twilight. As a straight guy, I'm capable of recognizing when another guy is attractive. I may even be good friends with them. I've never wanted to tongue wrestle with any. Preference doesn't change like that. The closest you can get is someone who is bisexual, and even then preference isn't changing, simply your current focus. The romance would be much more believable if Rarity was established to at least be interested in mares.
Lastly, breaking the curse felt forced. Main character gets back in town: breaks curse that night. While AJ and the girls are established as having made a navigational breakthrough, the timing felt rushed and a little too coincidental. Granted, focusing on cracking the curse could (and likely would) bog the story down. I would suggest moving elements of it forwards through a few chapters, even if Rarity isn't directly involved. Even then, taking more than a single night would be advisable. On that note, however, Pinkie remarks, "wow, that was fast!" leading me to wonder if this was actually intentional on your part and will become a future plot point.
In closing, I look forward to more in this story. All those little dangly clues and (intentional) inconsistencies really have me quite hooked. I seriously want to know what Discord's game is because I don't buy for a moment that his motivations are as shallow as "beat the princesses and fade to obscurity".
8231639
I agree.
I think that this works quite well as an interlude after 36, but I suppose it's ultimately hard to judge the best impact of it having already read chapter 36. Personally, I enjoyed the emotions of this one while knowing that the characters' heartbreak would end (more than just having faith that it would.). As such, it kept the overall manipulative feeling of it down... the reader wasn't a fish dangling on a hook for this painful moment. With the outcome already resolved for us, the scene is less about the drama and more about the devotion being displayed, and that's a nice note to reflect upon.
Either way, I'm glad that it was included, especially if we will be switching from Rarity's voice for future chapters. It feels right for Act One to end on her thoughts.
As many already (three) has said, this works better than having it between the chapters. The stinger that is Rarity's pain is even more effective when we know the solution if you ask me.
8231639
I am not going to argue about it but "I have not experienced this, therefore it doesn't exist" is not really a valid argument.
Bah, it’ll be worth the wait. It always is. And for my two cents, I do feel that the transition between 35 & 36 felt a bit quick – not that I’m at all complaining, since that meant we got to the events of 36 faster! But I do feel that this interlude would have fit perfectly well between the two of them. After the events of 35, it would have helped to … solidify the new state of things in the reader’s mind, help them digest the end of 35 and segue smoothly into 36, especially since that takes place over a year later. Of course, that’s just my view, and as I said, abrupt as the transition may have been, it still worked and I have no complaints from either a writing or enjoyment standpoint.
I’m just so damn happy she’s out, I wanna see Twi get her nerd on about everything as she explores the modern world, please don’t deprive me of this Mono
This was beautiful, Mono
Elara!
hugs my cat as the best substitute within arm's reach
After Bronycon... a long wait...
I'm certain that the wait will be well worth it.
I think there are benefits to both having it here versus between 35 and 36! They both work for different reasons. In any case, it's nice to see Rarity's thought process behind leaving, and the scene with Elara? T_T
I love that Rarity is so dedicated to helping the princesses here, even when it doesn't directly help her free Twilight specifically. Maybe she feels that if she frees Luna, she'll have a better chance of freeing Twilight, but I like to think that Rarity is mostly working to free Luna just because it's a kind thing to do, and not for personal gain (well, at least less than 10% personal gain
). And I'd have to think that is the case. I mean, her wanting to free Twilight is certainly not entirely selfish either, so it would only make sense that she's helping Luna out of the goodness of her heart. Anyways, I'm rambling. Loved the chapter!
🎶Generositttttyyy I'm here to show all that I can doooooo...🎶
8231829 Rarity is going to end up having a ménage a trois with Twi and Giant Spike. Kinky!
Remember now, you can't say it won't exist!
8231639 Discord doesn't really know what to do with 'motivations'. Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, remember? His past in this story proves his general callousness with the evidence that he sat back and permitted the changelings to kill ponies. He cares only about himself, and while he can understand that others feel for each other and prey upon their emotional states, he doesn't empathize in the least. He forms no genuine emotional connections, and those that appear to be genuine are generally grounded in his fear of being defeated and are rather warped and still possessed of an air of thinly-veiled cruelty.
He's a vindictive sociopathic god child who just enjoys tormenting things smaller than him.
I believe it should be between 35 and 36. It deepens the hurt, drives home the separation after so much suffering, how much closer it becomes to a Tragedy. It will make chapter 36 that much more powerful.
8231639
This is a Fairy Tale, an story of how live surpasses all. To make it without that love would be removing its very soul. The story would lose its reason to be.
It could be readable? It could. But it would not be The Enchanted Library. It would not be a Fairy Tale. It would be just another friendship story.
And I don't know about you, but I want the Fairy Tale, thank you very much
Eh, I think this works very well, but I think you should have gone with your instincts and published this before.
While the emotions would have killed me, it would have seemed more natural of a skip, and the resolution would be less rushed (although it was fine as is, it would have been slightly better, I think.)
At least, I'm pretty sure. I'm usually good at selective memory for the purpose of things like this.
8231997
I think it already does. Well, not here, but I think I read that story in 2015.
8231829
A valid point. A good argument shouldn't rely on a single datum. I should have better stated that this isnt just my experience but the collective experiences of many people from many different orientations. Not only have I never experienced it, nobody I know of has experienced it either. Ultimately that means my statement is true to the best of my knowledge. That qualifier is surprisingly important to any proper discussion.
doesn't help completely, but it does ease the issue of 'sudden freedom' a little bit.
8231538
That's really tricky to answer, I'm sorry to say, but after careful deliberation, I have determined that the most effective place to have it is...
Before.
The interlude itself does not contain the full text of what Rarity says at the tree, which would leave us to wonder what she was saying, but giving us the impression that her heart just can't take it anymore. That she sits with Elara for a bit after then impresses on us further that her heart can't take it any longer, but that she's not quite able to let go just yet.
Then we see everything that she said and can feel how it gives Twilight the drive to find a way out.
But that's just what I think.
8231508
honestly I like this scene, but I think it works better here, because the moments when we're approaching the tree and we hear all the things approaching the tree imply things, but don't tell us precisely what happened, and it leaves us as much in the lurch as Twilight, and knowing what happened beforehand would detract from that. In particular, the dusty inkwells and paintings on the walls imply a level of despair and a passage of time, but until Elara appears, we don't know how much time, which matches with Twilight's own experience excellently.
Also and this is just a personal thing but I like the ever increasing evidence that Discord feels regret, but doesn't want to outright admit to it
8231508
Damn it mono I wished you would have posted this in between the 35th and 36th chapters. Reading the two back to back made me feel like something was missing, it felt rushed, especially since we learn that two years have passed. Two years that Twi was trapped in her body overtaken by chaos. The impact the interlude would have in between the two chapters would have been nearly soul crushing to the readers but then the ending would have a greater impact as well. Hope you might consider placing the interlude in between the two chapters for future readers.
Anyway great job on the interlude. Loved the PoV of Rarity.
8231639
I agree 100% with these points.
I like that we got a short glimpse at what happened in the time skip, and at Rarity's motivations. Especially if we are leaving her POV o.O
I think it's perfect after chapter 36.
As I said before, I was very happy that the story immediately skipped to the fight after 35, because the prospect of having them separated again for at least a whole chapter made me go "not again". That is, I think it would have lessened the emotional impact instead of torturing me even more because it would have been over the top tragic. I also like that the action continues immediately.
It also has the symmetry/swapped roles theme of 36, though, which might be a reason for putting it before. On the other hand, we have no insight into Rarity's emotional state in 36, which nicely mirrors how it always was with Twilight before.
That said, I didn't read 35 and 36 back to back, but with several days in between.
8231903
I feel your pain. I'm also currently hugging my cat.
Dammit Mono, why must you write this well... ;-;
EDIT: And about the whole before/after discussion, I'm personally in favour of after. Both work well, but I really liked how sudden the timeskip was. Really made you feel what Twilight was feeling. Just, BAM, suddenly, it's been a few years. With the interlude before chapter 36, it kind of softens that skip. You already know that it's going to be some time.
I just loved how at the beginning of 36, Twilight had no idea how long it had been. Weeks? Months? Years? Decades? Who knows?
Mono, I will say that after worked best. There are some who don't appreciate art after all, and what you did to us between 35-36 was (twisted and painful) art. The shock of finding things out WITH Twilight, moving at the pace SHE was moving at, worked perfectly and created a great deal of immersion. Not the sort of immersion where one gently lowers themselves into the bath, either, more tossed into the deep end with a blindfold on and told to swim to safety - which was absolutely perfect for Twilight's mindset, lending a very strong urgency to the situation and sudden perspective shift (goodness knows it got my adrenaline flowing and I was just sitting in a chair at the time!). Seeing things from Rarity's point of view like this again almost felt like it was going to bring extra closure, but you stabbed us in our little abused hearts again with Elara trying to make her ink delivery through the barrier stubbornly.
Additionally I might suggest ignoring those who decry the very essence of this story, they need to understand not everything is written to be judged by their personal interests and foibles alone. You've created an amazing story and plenty of us are at hand to give feedback and criticism who aren't getting personal issues mixed up in the process.
I like this interlude right where it is, and think it flows best here.
8232080 There are probably several dozen of them.
So sad! @.@
Nooooooo. It huuuuuurts. The despair is palpable. Oh well, at least i know it turned out for the better. Raritwi snuggle times are a-coming.
Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness! I JUST finished reading the entire thing, and Monochromatic, I truly hope someone you know kisses you or at least gives you the biggest, warmest hug for this! I put off reading it for so very long because I knew, I just knew this was going to be one of those stories where it would have been agony waiting for the next chapter once I got deep enough, and I was right. Once I got to the curse, and you know very well what I mean, I couldn't stop, not for any substantial period of time. I simply couldn't help myself, I had to see the curse broken and then...oh, that terrible bit before the end. You cruel, heartless, wonderful, sweet author made me cry, and you simply do not know how much I want to hug them and then hurry them off to someplace sunnier than the library like the bedroom of the Carousel Boutique and surround them with pillows and blankets and chocolates and a new copy of the entire set of Daring Do novels!
Oh, and fiend that you are, you now have me waiting, eager for you to rip my heart out again by continuing this story. I hope you're happy with yourself! Sorry, I'm a bit low on sleep because someone wrote a story so enthralling I was up late into the wee hours of the morning and barely slept at all. I really hope you're happy with yourself because here I am, almost literally itching for you to continue this story, and not only that, I'm urging you on even though I know you're going to torture me again, aren't you, you brute! Well fine then, I shall endure because my OTP is worth it, and that may be the only way I will get to enjoy the wonderful, warm snuggles, the drama (so much drama!) when Twilight meets Cadance not to mention Twilight actually sleeping for the first time in ages and especially when she dreams in Hollow Shades. Oh, and I'm sure you will find ways to make the quest to free the princesses, especially Celestia, so exquisitely painful for poor Twi that I simply don't know what I will do, and it will be your fault, dear author. It's all your fault, and I can't thank you enough for it!
Can I make a suggestion? The chapter titles say it's the end of book 1, but you're going to continue adding chapters afterwards -- so, like, Book 2 and onwards. Would you consider marking this story as complete and starting a new story with the first chapter of book 2?
I only ask because you can't recommend a story to the Royal Canterlot Archives unless it's finished, and this story absolutely deserves to be in the RCA.
Boy, this hits me in the feels hard.
dare i Sk whos POV will be replacing raritys?
8240080
Hi!
That's actually something I'd been hung up on for a while. I wasn't sure whether to have the story as stand-alone or post the sequel within it because I was, to put it lightly, hung up on RLC. In the end, I decided I wanted to keep it all in one story because it feels like it's the proper path, and if I can be truly sincere, I know that marking this story as complete will probably 80% kill Book II because my motivation would be murdered both by the satisfaction of "having completed EL" and the work I'd have to do to put it as a proper sequel.
Thank you so much for the thought, though <3
8240918
It's a good interlude, but if you want opinions, I think the story would have had better flow if it was inserted between chapters 35 and 36... Not knowing how fimfiction works, I don't know if that would be a difficult thing to do. Since you didn't do that, I'll assume that's the reason.
ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh
I loved this, sadly I must now wait after a long 3 days of reading around work... you fine author get a favorite!
8242955
If you haven't gotten far enough to know what he asked for, beware what lies beneath the spoiler:
he wanted to take Spike away as a pet. I'd have said hell no, too.
Whew, I have to say that was an incredible story, certainly one of the top 10 on the site. It started out a bit awkward, not in the story but some of the sentence structure was a bit odd. Although as it kept going it got better to the point of being completely gone after the first ark was over. You did a fantastic job with the characters, the romance and the drama. It never felt forced, everything flowed naturally and had the time needed to happen.
I really hope you decide to continue the story. We still have three princesses who need to be freed and Discord to be dealt with. Speaking of Discord he seemed to do a bit too much to drive the story. Kinda like despite how much of a jerk he was, he actually wanted to free Twilight.
I was also kinda hoping you would do something with Chrysalis, like since we know that princess "Denza" has been seeing traveling I was kinda hoping that it was actually Chrysalis looking like her and they were actually friends. Then again I kinda have a weakness for Chrysalis as the kind of jerk friend for Celestia or Cadance.
8241165
simple keep making post here then when it all said and done split it into 3 books or how ever many books there are going to be.
keep up the great work, this is by far my favor twilightxrairty ship story
8243634
Thanks, Spice! I'm glad you liked it. And yeah, Act I was very much an experimental arc since I had never written a fic like this. Sentence structure is prooooobably because I used to struggle with English. I'm a native spanish speaker, so oftentimes I end up using Spanish sentence stuctures in English and it gives off an awkward effect.
As for Chrysalis, unfortunately she is not set to appear in EL D: She was defeated a thousand years ago or so by the Princesses. As for your other concern: "Speaking of Discord he seemed to do a bit too much to drive the story. Kinda like despite how much of a jerk he was, he actually wanted to free Twilight."
It's no surprise you felt that when that was exactly the way I wrote him. The question is, of course, what are the implications of this.
8243934
Yeah, that makes sense, but as I said, as the story went on it totally went away.
Aww, shame about Chrysalis, she can be quite fun if used right and I think you could use her right.
That really is the question, one reason I really hope you will continue the story, there is just so much missing and left to do.
My love for this fic cannot be expressed in words, not in any language. You have charmed me, broken me, made me cry, and, finally and most damningly of all, you made me hope.
"I laughed, I cried- it moved me, Bob."