It's been a good ten years since the defeat of the Dazzlings. Sunset Shimmer retired from her spot in the band and now acts as The Rainbooms manager. While an after concert autograph signing takes place Sunset Shimmer notices someone suspicious in line. What she discovers makes her question many things including her views on the three former sirens.
This is unique. Usually Dazzling stories usually takes place a couple of months to up to a year after their defeat. This one however takes place 10 years after their defeat. This is going to be interesting.
BTW
Hear-perceive with the ear the sound made by (someone or something).
Here-in, at, or to this place or position.
You need a proofreader.
I ALREADY LOVE THIS
The concept is very interesting/original, so have a track. Looking forward to seeing where it goes. I'll second though that the punctuation and such is kinda scattered - but I'm still able to take away the plot and such that you're going for.
Take it from someone who's crappy when it comes to self-editing. You could use a proof reader. Though first, you should read the story yourself to see if you can even do it.
As for the story itself, it's actually, it's actually an idea I haven't seen before when it comes to the sirens. Whatever you're planning on doing with it, you should continue with it.
interesting concept... you're being tracked.
5478825 I know.
Very interesting premise.
I will recommend you to get a proofreader. I had to get one for my stories as well xD
I can only tell that you use the verb "hear" when you should use "here". And it seems you have the "their/they're/there" problem too.
Anyway, I'm ready to read your headcanon!
5502175 thanks, I have/had a proof reader but we are having a communication gap with PMing, can you recommend someone?
I like the headcannon here!
5519246 Thank you
OK I'm faving this
Didn't see that one coming...
Ahem MOAR!
5691752 (clears thought) ALRIGHT!!!!!!! JUST BE PATIENT!!!
And thanks for fav'ing.
5695391 it's hard to be patient when something is so good though!
5695426 I know the feeling...
I am sooo glad I faced this, you get a "like!"
;mustache;
5712433 Faced what? The chapter?
MOAR
5712853 glad to see you enjoyed the new.chapter
5712485 no, I meant faved not faced, I blame my cell's auto correct function
Moar pwease
5740603 were you the first to read this new chapter? You're the first to comment but were you the first to read it?
5740627 don't know don't care
5741805 well anyway thanks for the support
Question are there any bases for those songs so I can get a feel for their rhythm and beat or are they just completely made by you
5741962 honestly when My Little Muse played them out in my head they both had beats but I can't describe them. If you want make some up that would fit them. And yes I made them up, or rather My Little Muse did and made me listen and then write them.
Y'know. It isn't that complicated to separate feelings like that. You just hafta see things from different perspectives, just like Sunset did here!
And, come on, Sunset. Therapy? Really? She was just eating Sonic out. People do that all the time.
5754903... You must have seen some messed up stuff to speak as if finding two people having sex is an everyday thing.
5754980 I wouldn't say it's an "everyday" thing. I just don't find it traumatizing.
And, well, I have seen some... things...
... I don't wanna talk about it...
Say Wat!
5791559 something wrong?
5791559 if you're referring to the Aria and the guards part that was a typo. I finished this chapter on my tablet and the keyboard is kinda glitchy. I fixed it though so now it's correct.
5791593 no it's just one of them chapters that has a good plot twist
Yay
It's getting too weird. Why in the hell they used dark magic if gems could absorb light magic when they were sirens?
5804625 Remember chapter two? Aria explained that the first energy they saw and go into the pendents was when two or more ponies where arguing and after that they left their home when the negative energy the pendents absorbed started to change them. And with each place they went to they sang their songs and caused more negative energy by getting ponies to fight and argue. Basically their was no real way they would have known since they where only causing trouble.
Lol you rhymed night with night,
But other than that it was a pretty good chapter, seems a little too convenient that the pendants can also use positive emotions but it's still ok
5810175 Yeah it was late when I finished this chapter up so I ended up just saying screw it and clicked publish...
5810494 that's fine
wow...i think of pinkamena differently now
Wat
Just some tips for when you do your next chapter because it kinda annoys me but it is spelled 'mind' not 'mined' and it's 'here' not 'hear' due to the way you're using them. By the way thats not hate just tryin' to help!
Did you wrote these song?
5881136 yeah.
5881200 you're awesome...
Yay it's not dead!!!!
5882120 yeah school has been tough with some big tests coming up and I'm working my ass off to keep up. That and my computer has been... glichy to say the least.