• Member Since 31st Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen Jan 18th, 2017

Szulu


To be honest I'm not really a Brony in the sense that I don't watch the show avidly, I do however see potential for interesting stories in this fandom, and will strive to keep my work cannon.

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Have you ever woken up in a place you don’t recognize? Like when your neighbor kidnaps you during the night only to leave you on their couch? No? Me neither. I would however, have to say that if you multiplied that feeling ten fold then you would have a rough approximation of how I felt waking up on the moon.

Longer description in the works - Szulu

Character Tags will be updated as needed

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 48 )

What did just happen?
Ok, was that Nightmare Moon, and is he now imprisoned in Luna or what? Or is it not Luna but a pony that looks roughly like her?
Find out in the next chapter of:
Waking up on the moon

5467888 More is on the way I am currently working on the next chapter, hoping to have it up within the week, if not tonight.


5467716 All of your questions should be answered soon, I am actually in the process of writing the answer to at least one of those.

My interest has been piqued.
Will keep an eye out for the next update. :raritywink: Keep up the good work~

this is really good please update again soon. you've done an amazing job so far.

5471300 I will be done with the second chapter soon, I am actually working on it right now, it should be out today, though it may be shorter then I want it to be.

Nice, looking forward for more!

What...
That's what I call a fine piece of art.
Not a masterpiece?
You are always too quick to call things a masterpiece.
Yeah, I guess I am.
So, what we wanted to tell you:
Nice work. I had a bit of a worry that it wouldn't be a good story, after all the beginning had created a close field for you to work in with many ways to fail completely, so nice getting out of that maze.
I'll be watching you >>>
And me too <<<
GET OUT! This is my comment.
You mean it was. Anyways, I hope you're not too confused, it's been going on for a while now, this little bitchfight. I hope you all enjoyed the story so far and had a great time.
...it's not even your story.
Who cares? Nobody besides us.
...besides us. I think we should leave now.
{Solar Stone Dark Rose and Solarkness go off the stage}

The cover needs a bit of an update, it really makes this story seem less than it is Keep it up!

5472628 Yeah its just a place holder for now. Working on something better.

Go post this on the royal guard or something like that, this is a good fic bro, keep up the good work!

5481125 Thanks for the support, exams are coming up so I have been slowing down on the writing. Thats not to say I have stopped though, expect a new chapter soon.

5483895 Yeah... thankfully I just found out that I managed to get high enough scores to exempt me from two of them. Hopefully that will give me some time to write more.

Huh, apparently he was on the 999th year, and the 12th month...and 29th or 30th day.

5500809 Yeah... Pretty much.

good, damn good.
will he end up and a miniature luna?
or a moon-core colored alicorn.
whatever you do i'm sure it'll be great

5528676 You would be surprised by both how close to the plot and yet, at the same time, how far from the plot your questions/guesses are getting... Mwahhahaha, being mysterious is fun!

Im just wondering how he got in Lunas mind... did Nightmare Moon eat him or something? :rainbowhuh:

This is a very good story so far, and I can't wait to read more of it. :pinkiehappy:

Just re-read this.... Needs some edits and, some more elaboration at some parts. This was a bit of a rush post seeing as it took so long to get out.

5677894 Well thanks XD *Blushes* It feels really rushed to me, though I'm probably just self conscious.

5677939 I thought it pased itself well. Everyone is like that about there own art. Trust me...

I still found the story to be good thus far, I'd like to see more of it, and yes this chapter does neeed a few edits because of some words either wrong or ect ect... Other then that I like the storyline, and thats mainly what I like to read myself, so long as it is 90% readable and understandable I'll read the story for the storyline...

But thats just me? Anyway its readable and understandable even with a few errors. Keep it up.

5677961 Yeah I plan to thanks XD! I noticed all the spelling errors and trust me I will be fixing those when I have time. Hopefully the story will keep you interested.

5677977 It has thus far, just keep it coming :pinkiehappy:

really lIked It but was hopIng for at least a chapter of hIm gettIng acclImated before danger, be aware of havIng too much happen too fast. It.Is one of the bIggest.problems fanIcs have.

5680119 Yeah I get that. And originally that was the plan. But then I decided he needed to understand the danger of the place he was living in... and this kinda just happened. It was one of the things I was most unsure about with this chapter...

Huh. How the hay did this trend of timberwolves attacking HiE protagonists at the beginning of their exposure to Equis get started?

Maybe hundreds of humans show up in each Equestria and the Timber Wolves just eat all of them, and the fics come from the one(s) who survive.

5699626 Now that I think about it, your totally right XD. Though it's probably because they are the most threatening thing that won't outright destroy a normal person which lives in the Everfree.

The first thing he should have looked for was water then.

Food will do no good if you're choking too.

You need water first before everything else then now.

Then/than problems all over the place.

So, he will fuse with Luna then?

I am disappointed he didn't turn into Luna or at least a pony. It makes no sense to have him fuse with Nightmare moon and then with Luna just for him to wake back as a human,

In fact this whole story has the perfect setting for the human to become Luna or Nightmare Moon... unless the Everfree part is just a dream? As in, he is now Luna, but he dreams about being human?

5761002 And an editor apparantly.

much to small to

much too small to

to uncomfortable not to.

too uncomfortable not to.

smaller then humans

smaller than humans

Not to long into

Not too long into

quicker then starving will.”

quicker than starving will.”

my ears went numb, and I felt a warm liquid seeping down the side of my neck, probably my damaged eardrums.
I stubbled a bit, the loss of bits of my eardrums throwing me off balance, despite that I staggered forward,

this guy has incredibly little reaction to his eardrums bursting, something that's generally a cause for alarm for most people. And then he goes on to actually hear things later, something that you can't do with burst eardrums. As seen here

“No!” it screamed in fear.

here,

I could hear the guttural noise in its throat as it tried to hold its screams back,

here,

“No!” it yelled again,

and here

“I don’t know what you are but,” it paused here to groan,”you need to get out of here its not safe!”
‘Huh it sounds female.”

(addtionally 'Huh, it sounds female', keep punctuation consistant) and finally

maniacal laughter,

So screaming space, equines was,

So screaming space equines were,/ screaming space-equines were

Sorry for the large number of quotes, I don't normally use this many but I thought it would be easier to correct if I gave you all of the incidents where something happening earlier would have made it impossible.

much shorter then I was hoping

much shorter than I was hoping

no sensory input, its terrifying.

no sensory input, it's terrifying.

nothing to see nothing to observe,

nothing to see, nothing to observe,

Not fricken, high thats for sure.

Not fricken high thats for sure. Do you just randomly press the comma key whenever you feel like it?:rainbowhuh:

your being a nuisance

you're being a nuisance

I felt a innocence and purity.

I felt an innocence and purity.

way I could feel it’s.

way I could feel its.

How do you know your not?

This thought needs to be seperated from the general narrative in some way, italics or quotation marks like you did before. Also "You're not Your"

thats my goal

that's my goal

If I could still breath,

If I could still breathe,

Much better this time, keep it up!

5699626
5700571 It actually used to be that a Human would come to Equestria and be attacked by, then kill, a Manticore. A freaking Manticore! Eventually people used this to the point that people found it cliche'd and Authors had to look for a new threat for their Human Protagonists.
Unfortunately, our knowledge of creatures canonically living in the Everfree is limited best, we only know of three creatures that live in the everfreeforest(not counting those that live nearby): Manticore, Cockatrices and Timberwolves.
Due to the unique abilities of Cockatrices , they would be both rather improbable to fight without getting *Sunglasses* "stoned" *YEAAAHHH* and because of their rather unthreatening visage readers likely wouldn't find killing a cockatrice to be very impressive (unless you were a particularly good writer for that sort of fight scene).
So it was by a sort of De-facto ruling that Timberwolves became the go-to monster for our Human protagonists to fight/kill and overcome. This info-dump brought to you by "get-a-life", here for all those who just don't wanna':twilightsmile:.
I hope that you have enjoyed this presentation, please give feedback on how informative it was for you, how relative the information was and if you enjoyed it actually give a shit

5769160

This story is even listed as "Also Liked" when I read stories with transformation in it, so the fact the guy has not been transformed into not Luna is really confusing.

5786750 Yea that really seemed like the kinda direction it was heading in to me as well. But still, props to the author for subverting expectations.

5787216

Well, I wanted a human transforms into Luna story, since most of the time the human turns into Nightmare Moon, not Luna.

So if you ever get this, please continue this story:fluttercry:

5768910

“No!” it screamed in fear.

here,

I think it would be fear in this case...
"'No!' it screamed in here" Makes no sense.
Edit:
Whoops, I missed something in your comment. Forget I said something.

6851530 It's fine, it's good to see someone willing to correct a mistake, even if there's no mistake to correct:trollestia:

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