Very loopy

by Sollace

Chapter 6: Happy Beard Day

Princess Luna awoke to find herself in a brightly lit room. She was lying in a bed with a bandage over her head, and she felt a warm lump lying near the base of her bed. Looking down Luna found a filly curled up beside her, fast asleep. She could also feel some kind of white rat hanging from her face, which she immediately removed and banished to the moon without a second thought.

Luna turned to her left to see another bed, with another version of herself sitting in it, looking at her intently with a stupid grin, and similar white rat—or rather a fake beard, hanging from her chin.

To her right was a night stand with a box of moon cakes and a crudely written letter reading 'sorry' in pink crayon. The windows were wide open and a faint breeze blew through the- Luna froze, and turned back to her left.

The other Luna smiled and gave a friendly wave, "AHHHH!!" Princess Luna screamed and leaped out of the bed. She tripped over her own hooves in her panic, sending herself toppling down on the hard tile floor. The filly, which had been sleeping soundly until now, was shook awake and desperately grabbed onto her covers to save herself, but only succeeded in pulling all the sheets off along with her. The two landed in a crumpled heap on the floor, with Luna covering her mouth in an attempt not to laugh.

Moments later a pair of nurses, along with several lunar guards and one of the Celestias burst into the room, alerted by all the commotion. The guards took up strategic positions around the perimeter whilst the nurses attended to the fallen princess.

"What in Equestria happened here?" Celestia stood in the doorway, observing, with a raised eyebrow.

"It's all her fault!" Princess Luna attempted to shoo away the nurses, to keep them from fussing over her, and pointed a hoof at Luna.

"Hey, don't pin this on me; that was all you!" Luna shouted back at herself.

Celestia sighed and rubbed her temples, "No, I mean what were you thinking, Luna. You know Deus Ex spells are forbidden."

"You know that eating my moon cakes is forbidden!" Princess Luna shot back angrily, half to the other Luna and half in response to her sister.

"Will somepony help me get out of this thing?" Sweetie Belle piped from under the tangled mess, only to be completely ignored by everypony else in the room.

"I've had just about enough of this 'moon cake' scenario.” Celestia stomping a hoof angrily as she addressed both Lunas in the room, and glared at them both. “I want you both to make up, and come out to join us for breakfast." As she said this, Celestia had to step aside to allow a Royal Guard through with a trolley carrying two fresh sets of blue regalia on display.

Celestia turned to leave in a huff, calling Sweetie Belle after her as she went. "Come along, let's leave these two alone."

There was a muffled "Coming!" from inside the mound of sheets, followed by a frantic struggling.

Celestia rolled her eyes and levitated the entire bed cover, with the filly inside, and left.

As she stepped out into the passage, Celestia pulled aside one of the guards and whispered into his ear, "Don't be afraid to use force if they resist."

“Aye, Princess.” The guard saluted and took a peek inside the room. He caught glimps of two very angry Lunas glaring at each other like cornered animals. He gulped and turned back, to ask the princess if he could change his mind, but was disappointed to find her already gone.

---

“... and that is why I always have to think about bananas.” Celestia concluded her story and took a bite of her fried eggs. She allowed her fork to return to its place then spat the end of her fake beard out of her mouth, “Bleh”.

Sweetie Belle was sitting opposite her with her own beard. She had been listening intently to Celestia’s story, and upon its completion she simply mouthed a silent, “...wow” And followed up with her question: “and you never broke the curse?”

“Oh, we tried, heavens have we tried.” Celestia shook her head.

“You do get used to it after a while, though.” The other Celestia continued the thought from her side of the table. She, too, had a white beard but had tied it up to keep it out of her food. The way it hang now made it look more like a moustache than a beard and it wobbled slightly every time she moved her head.

“Yes, quite.” Celestia agreed and paused to take a sip of her tea. “As long as we slip it in every couple minutes we’re fine.”

“Ah.” Sweetie Belle nodded, “But what if you can’t do that? Like, during a speech?”

“Most of the Noble Ponies are used to it by now, and we presume the ones that aren’t just don’t mention it.”

“We are the princess after all.” Princess Celestia added.

“But if we can’t, we’ll end up turning into-” Celestia was cut off as the front door swung open with a loud crash. The two Royal Guards that had been stationed at its side jumped in fright and everypony in the room looked up to see Princess Luna trudge into the dining hall, still with her head bandaged.

She pulled up a seat alongside Sweetie Belle. A coffee mug and pot were taken up in her aura and moved to pour Luna a drink.

There was a moment of silence as Luna poured herself some coffee, took a long sip, then grimaced at the bitter taste. She eyed the mug of dark liquid then looked around at the table, with the two bearded Princesses, one looking at her expectantly, the other reclining in her seat sipping a cup or earl grey whilst she read the paper.

Luna snatched the bowl of sugar from the centre of the table and dropped a few cubes into her mug. She began to stir it as she continued to glance around.

Beside her sat a small filly, also with a large white beard. Sweetie Belle was looking up at her, not saying a word as she twirled the end of her beard with a hoof.

At length, Luna sighed and set her mug down. “Fine, I give up”

Celestia raised an eyebrow, “Oh? Give up on what?”

“Why do you all have beards?” Luna deadpanned.

“Oh...” Celestia trailed off as she glanced down to her own. She gave it a light flick, “Well, it is Thursday after all.”

“Thursday?”

“Yeah,” The filly next to her nodded, “Magical Beard Day! Every pony in the kingdom has to wear a beard today.”

“Exactly” Celestia agreed, “Though, you really should have been here yesterday. It was Eye Patch Wednesday.”

“Eye Patch Wednesday?” Luna could already feel her twitch coming back, as Celestia continued to explain.

“Yes. Every pony had to wear an eye patch. It’s such a shame you had to miss it though. It was marvellous.”

“Eh.” Sweetie Belle spoke up again, “I wouldn’t say it was that great.”

“Well, in my defence, they really should have limited the number of eye patches to one per pony.”

“Hm” Luna had nothing to say, and so returned to her drink. She’d remembered it being bitter, so she took a few lumps of sugar and dropped them into the cup, and began stirring.

“So, Luna” Celestia exclaimed, breaking her sister’s concentration. Luna looked up again, to find all eyes turned to her once again. “Where is your beard?” The Celestia in front of her questioned.

At this the other Celestia looked up from what she’d been doing, suddenly more interested in the current conversation. “Yeah, everypony needs to have at least one.”

Celestia glared at herself and, remembering the events of the day before, Princess Celestia corrected, “Ok, at most one.”

Attention turned back to Princess Luna, “So, where is it?”

Luna crept back in her seat, and glanced at her mug once more before answering. “Well... Let me just say...” She trailed off slightly as she looked between the Princesses and pink filly looking to her expectantly, “That, it will most likely return for revenge in one-thousand years.” Luna blushed.

Celestia facehoofed, “Luna, I swear, you do this every year.”

“Not every year”— Luna protested, and set the mug down. In hind sight, she may have used more force than was necessary. But on the bright side, the guards were now fully attentive. If not simply because the sound of the cup hitting the table sounded suspiciously like gun fire. – “This is the first time I’ve heard of these strange holidays. Did you two just make them up on the spot?” She turned to accusing the two princesses, and pointed to them with a hoof.

Both Celestia, and herself gasped and sat up in their seats, putting a hoof to their chest. “Well I’d never.” They both exclaimed in unison.

“They are, too, real holidays. They were drafted and signed yesterday morning.”

“Whilst I was in a coma?”

“Yes.” Celestia nodded.

“...and how many signatures did you get signing off on it?”

“Two. The minimum capital requirement.”

“Can I see this paper?”

“Of course, you can find it in record keeping. But first let us finish our breakfast.”

“Agreed.” Luna nodded and returned to her mug. By now the coffee would surely be getting cold, but she didn’t want it to go to waste. She remembered it tasting bitter, so she added a few cubes of sugar and began stirring.

Whilst she was doing this, she felt a small hoof at her side. Luna left her mug and turned to find the filly looking up at her, with wide eyes, from behind a large, white, and very curly beard. “Did you like the moon cakes?” She whispered.

Luna leaned closer, “What moon cakes?”

“The ones I left for you beside the bed.” She whimpered slightly and her voice cracked as she continued, “I felt so bad about you eating all your moon cakes that, when I was in town yesterday and saw them in the window of a bakery, I simply had to get you some as a replacement.”

“...but, if you don’t like them, I’ll understand.” Sweetie Belle looked away.

“Aw...” Luna hugged the filly. “Thank you, that was so nice.” The filly smiled and returned the hug. “So, what was your name, by the way?”

“Oh, you haven’t been told, have you?”

“I can’t say that I have.”

“Well you can call me Sweetie Belle.” She squeaked and hugged Luna tighter. “I guess we have a lot to catch you up on.”

“Indeed.” She nodded, “Nice to meet you, Sweetie Belle” She held Sweetie Belle in the hug with one hoof as she retrieved her mug and took a sip. Luna grimaced at the sweet taste.

Comments

[the other sans]

of two very angry Luna's glaring at
return to its place the spat the end of her fake beard
a seat alongside Sweetie belle
The Sweetie Belle looked away

1. Lunas, no apostrophe in this case.
2. Then.
3. Forgot to capitalise.
4. Then.

[Sollace]

7260038
Fixed! Thanks.

[cheesegal]

the authors alive!

[Greeny3003]

Waaaaaaa. WHAT!!!! IT IS HERE!!!! TIME TO READ!!!

[Sollace]

7262224
*random zombie noises*

Seriously, whenever I would think about this story, and how long it's been, I died a little inside.

[mwclaud]

Very enjoyable, I am glad you wrote another chapter and I am sure there is more to come. There is so much more chaoss that can ensue.

[FaelaArts]

[Sollace]

7318329
Oh, hello there.

[Cursed Quill]

“Two. The minimum capital requirement”

somehow I think they're both Celestia. :D
also, needs a period.

“Agreed”

likewise needs a period.

The nodded,

Nodded isn't a speech tag, should have a period. also, not sure if that should be a "They" or a "She".

[Sollace]

8129735
Alright, thanks!

A big problem with Word though is that it complains about them being fragments if I do include the period. I don't think I encounter that quite as often later on as my writing style develops, but it still comes up on occasion.

[Sailorleo]

8130071
That’s because they are sentence fragments. The first is just a one word subject; and there is no subject or verb in the second, just an object.

Incidentally, MS Word is not very good at correcting grammar, and cannot handle many colloquial speech patterns at all. I wouldn’t recommend trusting it without a second opinion.