Chapter 5: Luna Squared
Princess Luna walked into the dungeon with the captain of her lunar guard at her side. She trotted swiftly and made directly for the one cell at the back, the one in which the other Luna lay.
Upon arriving at the cell she cast a cold glare at her prisoner who, after a moment of lying on her back on the bed with her head hanging off the end, noticed Princess Luna glaring at her and looked up. “What?”
Princess Luna’s expression remained stoic, “You know very well what. Now, apologise.”
“Why?”
“Stop playing innocent, you know what you did. Now apologise.”
“I can’t say that I do.” Luna paused for a moment then added, “Is this about the cake?”
“Yes…” Princess Luna seethed.
“Oh.” Luna bluntly stated, and then lapsed back into silence.
Princess Luna began grinding her teeth, “Well?”
Luna shrugged, “Well what?”
“You know what I’m done!” Princess Luna stomped a hoof to punctuate her statement, “I’ve given you your chance. Come along Captain!” She turned and stomped out of the dungeon in a huff with the captain of her guard running to catch up.
Luna simply lay and watched as the two left. Once they were gone she stated, “Sister was correct. I am fun.”
Princess Luna was standing in the library, staring at the row of books on the bookshelf before her.
The captain stepped closer, “Princess, may I ask, what are we looking for?”
“I’m looking for- Aha!” She grabbed one and flipped it open. After paging through it for a moment she stopped and, holding the book lower, she waved the guard over to look.
“This is what I’m looking for. I believe this is what Twilight Sparkle used during the wedding.”
The guard looked closely and skimmed over a few lines, “A spell to reveal Changelings?”
“Yes, don’t you see? She has to be a changeling. It’s the perfect explanation for why I have a perfect double of me.”
“So you’re going to use this to get her to show her true self? But then what do you plan to do?”
Luna slammed the book shut, blowing dust in the guard’s face. He began to sneeze and fell back rubbing his eyes. “Then I can try her for- uh...” She paused to think, “Something. I’ll figure it out later; there must be a law against Changelings eating royal moon cakes.”
Whilst the guard was busy blinking the tears out of his eyes Princess Luna levitated the book to her side and trotted towards the exit, “Now come on, back to the dungeon, let us try this spell-" She pause, "Um, out.”
Luna was still in the same position as before, lying on her back on the bed and staring at the walls through the bars, when Princess Luna came trotting back into view. “Oh” Luna exclaimed in surprise, “Back already?”
“Indeed” Princess Luna gave a firm nod and lifted up the book to show it to her captured self. “And this time I have a plan.”
“You’re going to bore me to death?”
A smile crept across Princess Luna's face began to nod but then, realising what her captor had said, stopped herself and shook her head furiously, “Wha- No! This is a spell book. I’m going to reveal you for the Changeling that you are.”
“I’m a Changeling?” Luna cocked her head but made no move to get up.
“Yes, you are. And I’m going to prove it.” Princess Luna lit her horn and began gathering energy. Whilst the glow in the room grew Luna rolled over to watch.
Upon reaching her peak, Princess Luna spread her wings in a show of her might and let loose a majestic beam of cleansing glory at her foe, and by that I mean she shot Luna. The Lunar guard shielded his eyes from the resulting flash, and once it was all over both stepped forward to inspect the result of their princess’ work. Princess Luna wore a wide grin in enjoyment of her victory
Of course there was no change. Luna waved nonchalantly and rather cheerfully, “Hello.”
Princess Luna's smile faded and she frowned, “Hm, perhaps I need a stronger spell.” She pulled out her book once again and began paging through it. Her brow furrowed as she read the fine text, “Ah, this will do.”
Levitating the book in front of her, the princess spread her wings once again and raised her hooves to proclaim loudly, “I now invoke the power of the Deus Ex, Revealiea Changelina!”
Princess Celestia was helping herself, and Sweetie Belle, with packing the chariot. “That should just about do it” They had just finished squeezing a large cake onto the back.
“Tell me again, why are we doing this?” Sweetie Belle asked from her perch on the other Celestia’s back.
“I figure once we deliver this ca-” Celestia was cut off by a loud boom from somewhere in the distance.
“What was that?”
“Sounds to me like somepony tried to use a Deus Ex spell incorrectly.”
A thick layer of smoke blanketed the insides of the dungeon. Princess Luna lay with her back against the wall, her once beautiful mane now singed and permanently blown back into some kind of new age hair style. She gave a slight cough, expelling a small puff of smoke from her muzzle.
In the far corner the voice of Luna’s captain sounded through the smoke, “Princess, are you ok?”
"Yeah," Princess Luna wearily responded not noticing the slight underlying buzz in the captain’s voice, “just a little shook up.”
“Well that was impressive” Luna commented from inside her cell, safely separated from the smoke by a magical barrier.
As the smoke began to clear, Princess Luna’s surroundings came back into view. In the hazy fog a figure stepped forward, and as the princess looked he was revealed to be a changeling. She gasped, “Changeling! Guards!”
The changeling was suddenly alert, looking around at its surroundings before sprinting forward towards Princess Luna. “Ah! Guards, it’s a Changeling!”
The Changeling was soon at her side, “Princess, it’s ok” He said with the voice of her captain.
“He’s got the captain’s voice, he’s got the captain!” Luna was now panicking and flailing wildly.
The Changeling suddenly caught on and looked at his hooves, then promptly started hyperventilating. “I’m a Changeling!”
“Princess wait, I can-” He ducked as Princess Luna took a swing at him, “-explain.”
“Make it quick Changeling, before the guards get here” Princess Luna said through her teeth.
“I’m your captain, Golden Hoof. I’ve always been a Changeling!”
Luna paused and grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, “How do I know you are not lying to me?”
As she said that several more Changelings came rushing into the dungeon clad in blue Lunar armour and wielding spears. The one at their head spoke, “Princess, we’re here. What is the commotion?”
Princess Luna’s ears drooped as she turned from the contingent of Changelings before her, and the one in her grasp. The captain turned Changeling offered a warm smile and said in the calmest tone he could muster, “We’re all Changelings. Where do you think Bat Ponies come from? They’re only a myth.”
“Bu- but-” Princess Luna stammered something out before her eyes rolled back and she fainted.
The guards looked between themselves as Luna, still comfortable in her cell but now standing with her muzzle squeezed against the bars to get the best view, stated. “Well that was... something.”
“Uh, yes...” The captain replied, “So I take it you really are Luna then?”
Luna nodded.
“And you’re not surprised by the whole Changeling thing?”
“Actually yes I am, in fact” THUD
And with that the Lunar Changeling guard now had two fainted Princesses on their hooves.
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And then a million bat-pony OC's cried out in horror, and became changelings.
You know, I am sure there are plenty of bat-sonas out there that include secret changeling sex bloodline history nonsense.
I love bat-ponies, really. Lol.
This is a much better chapter than that Dai-cuticus nonsense (not even the fun kind of nonsense).
The idea that Sweetie was the heartache inducing cute demon was so much more funny.
Uhm, this may a silly question - but can I take the lack of a "dark" tag as to mean this story isn't as dark as its spiritual "parent"?
I stopped reading the original story after Sweetie Belle invited her friends over for a sleepover, which ended with the CMC dying of rapid aging and their quickly decaying corpses turning into dust. That was a complete mood-killer.
5843648
Yeah this is meant to be more fun. There won't be any dying or dust in this version.
Also the original isn't actually all that dark after you get past the first thing with the CMC. It's pretty mellow most of the way up to loop 100.
--Sollace
cannot wait for more
Now come one, back to the dungeon
1. On.
I chuckled. At the authors notes.
That was quite good. Will there be more?
5968854
Of course, eventually.
--Sollace
5968925
Yaay.
I am disappointed by the lack of chocolate.
[quote]“You know what[b][,][/b] I’m done!” Princess Luna stomped a hoof to punctuate her statement,[/quote]
[b][size=1.5em]ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY LORD OF GRAMMAR, THE COMMA![/size][/b]
5843648 But it was [i]FUNNY[/i]...:pinkiecrazy:
6034198
I intend for there to be a pause there but if you have a better idea for what to use there I am open to suggestions.
6034182
"Ok" and "O.K" are technically correct. "Okay" does look better though so I might switch to that for future writings.
--Sollace
6282907
Fixed~
Thanks.
--Sollace