Chapter 11: The Beauty of Bureaucracy
“There she is!” The first Celestia—the one without the banana suit— screamed. She came running down the passage as quickly as her hooves could carry her, with Celestia trailing shortly behind.
“Wait for me!” Celestia screamed after herself, wobbling and skipping along as she struggled to move her legs in the restrictive suit. They swerved around the corner and skidded to a halt upon seeing the scene.
Luna was sitting back against her flanks, seething from under her fruit hat. She had her forelegs crossed and was clicking her tongue whilst waiting for her guard to return.
Meanwhile, beside her and across the corridor, Celestia spotted the broken window and scattered shards of glass. She immediately skidded to a halt and flashed Luna a glare, “What in Tartarus happened here!?”
“Hmph,” Luna huffed. “I have simply taught myself a valuable lesson, one about pushing one’s boundaries, and never befouling the royal visage.”
The other Celestia then waddled around the corner, now with the banana suit half removed. The top of it hung limply over Celestia’s horn obscuring her view. “What’s this about lessons?” She asked excitedly, flashing a grin and hopping in place, all the while clapping her hooves and looking around blindly.
The first Princess Celestia rolled her eyes. She lit her horn, and pulled the suit down, restoring her self’s vision.
Celestia blinked, her eyes adjusting to the light, and then they grew wide as the broken window came into view. “... Oh, wow.” she nodded, “Yeah, mom always said we shouldn’t be playing buckball inside the castle.”
“What?” Luna guffawed. Snapping her jaw shut, she shook her head and pointed—one hoof out the window, and other at her own face. “No! I punched myself!”
Both Celestias looked to Luna with raised eyebrows. “You punched... yourself?” the first asked.
“In the face.” Luna confirmed.
“You punched...” The first Celestia repeated.
“...Yourself.” The second one finished.
“Yes,” Luna nodded, adamant, and repeated her earlier motion, pointing out the window. “And she went right out the window.” She then paused, and brought her hoof in front of her admiring it. “I’m actually quite impressed. And here I was thinking I’d gotten soft.”
After a long pause, something clicked in Celestia’s head and a light came on. “...Oh.” She rolled her eyes, nodding in understanding now. “You punched your self.”
“Oh,” Princess Celestia mirrored. She slapped a hoof over her forehead, and echoed, “She punched her self.”
“Yeah...” Luna frowned, less sure, of herself. She silently started to wonder if either of her sisters had knocked themselves upon the head one too many times. She glanced to the side, and then looked up the passage, tapping her hoof impatiently awaiting her guard’s return. There was nothing to the east and, looking the other way, nothing to the west as well. With a sigh, she resolved herself to trying to deal with her sisters. “...What did you think I meant?”
“Oh”— Celestia rolled a hoof in the air – “N—“
Princess Celestia stepped forwards in front of herself and butted butting in. “You do realise that we’re on the third floor, right?”
Her expression unchanging, Luna blinked. “Yes.” She slowly nodded. “Of course, and your point is...?”
She facehoofed, Celestia and Luna watching as she groaned, long and hard, into her hooves and shook her head..
At length, when it seemed like it was never going to end, she took a deep breath and recomposed herself, muttering under her breath about Cadance never having to put up with this. “... Okay, come on”— she stepped forwards, grabbing Luna’s ear in her magic as she passed— “let’s go find her,” and set off down the hall dragging Luna behind her like a scorned filly.
“Sister, I—Ow, ow, ow-ow—” Luna cut herself off, crying all the way down the hall as she hurried after her sister, leaving Celestia to her own devices.
She stood alone, glancing around, and then to the broken window. Something clicked in her mind, and her eyes sparkled as a wonderful new idea dawned on her. “Oh, wait!” she shouted, waving after her sisters as she set off at a canter. “Does anypony want to play Buckball?”
With the princesses gone, the passage turned deathly quiet. Luna’s voice, and the stomping of hooves drew far, fading into obscurity—like so many other things.
After but a few seconds of calm, the silence was broken by the clatter oh hooves, and clanking of a cart, approaching. The Changeling from earlier, still disguised as a Lunar Guard, rushed around a corner pushing a trolley, with a coffee pot, a comb, and several brushes in front of him like his life depended upon it. “Princess, I have returned with the—” He stopped cold upon seeing the vacant lot and lapsed into silence.
He stood there, looking around him for a long while, until realisation dawned on him. “...oh.”
Meanwhile, on the other side of Canterlot and holed up inside their very own make-shift shelter consisting entirely of scrolls, books, and toppled bookshelves, Princess Luna fought to the death, dealing in a battle of wits against the greatest, most nefarious foe she had ever encountered. Worse than King Sombra, more heartless and cruel than King Grover, and a musical rhythm that would put even Doctor Sombrero to shame. She was darker than any night she feared, and cuter than any button she dreaded to conceive.
“SWEETIE BELLE!!!” Princess Luna hollered, belting out the full, destructive force of the Canterlot Voice, and shaking the building to its very foundations.
The filly in question bounded through the aisle, a smile on her face, and clipboard clenched between her teeth. Her mane and its pages flapped in the wind as she glanced behind her, taking only a moment to stock her pursuer’s progress before flitting around the corners with the elegance and grace bestowed upon her by her sister. She giggled, and shook her head. “Nhm.”
Behind her, several feet away and enclosing quickly, Princess Luna lumbered with not so much grace. The shelves shivered and shook around her, as the deafening *boom* of angry hooves carried through the archives, and Princess Luna carried after, rolling down anything in her way like a freight train on the loose. Her head low, wings raised, and her gaze stern, she shouted once more, “BRING THAT PAGE BACK HERE RIGHT NOW, OR CELESTIA HELP ME I’M GOING TO—“
She cut herself off, a grin spreading across her face as she glanced Sweetie’s tail flit away around a corner. Now she had her, Princess Luna thought. The pink one may think she’s getting away, but little does she know, few know these passages quite like she.
Admittedly, she was the one to get them lost in the first place, but—Luna huffed—That wasn’t her fault. The clip boards were lying to her. Now she was sure where they were, and Luna knew, as an absolute fact, that this particular turn led to a dead end in approximately—
She kicked back, skidding to a near halt, and swung around the corner expecting to see Sweetie Belle run up against the far end of the passage, trapped with nowhere to go. Instead, she was face with a stone wall. “MOTHER—” Princess Luna swore and grit her teeth. She threw up her hooves, averted her face—anything but the face!—and braced for impact.
In those last moments before impact, as the princess glanced to the left, spied her new nemesis—Sweetie Belle crouching around the corner, flaunting the clipboard in one hoof, whilst she stuck out her tiny tongue. She felt the slight ache in her chest and, if she weren’t about to die horribly, Princess Luna was sure she would be dead from heart attack.
She barrelled through the wall, decimating it, and continued for several feet, sliding atop a pile of rubble, until she came to a halt in the middle of the main reading area, and slumped forwards in defeat.
“...Woah.” A filly’s voice sounded directly above her, and Luna, gathering her strength, lifted her head and squinted up at the owner. Sweetie Belle kneeled before her, a look of genuine concern written all over her face. “Princess, are you okay? I didn’t expect it to go like that.”
Princess Luna groaned. She shot up to her haunches, grabbing the filly in both hooves and shaking her as she shouted. “Aha!” A triumphant grin on her face, still shaking the filly and eliciting a jangling from her, she proclaimed, “We have caught thee, now return the clipboard to us so that we might—”
“Ahem,” a third voice coughed, alerting them both to the presence of a third party.
Luna paused, and she turned, Sweetie Belle joining her as they looked to the owner. A greying stallion, with a bleached white coat, a frown so deep it was only challenged by the depth of the wrinkles etched across his face, and a rainbow-coloured fake beard flowing down as far as his ankles.
“Uh, Torn Page!” Luna cried. Putting on a grin and sitting upright, she quickly hid the filly—and clipboard—behind her back. “W-what brings you here?”
By now, several other worker ponies and librarians alike had left their posts, and now stood forming a circle around the princess. Each one had the same, disapproving scowl.
He blinked; his features unchanging. “Princess, with all due respect—”
“Now, now,” Luna interrupted, “This isn’t what it looks like. We were simply trying to find a scroll that my sister filed away in here.”
“You mean...” The stallion reached behind his back, dipping a hoof into his saddlebags, and produced the exact scroll in question. “...like this one?”
“Yes!” Luna’s eyes lit up. “That’s the exact one!” She jumped to her hooves, completely forgetting everything prior, and trotted up to the stallion, reaching forwards with a hoof intent on taking the scroll. “Now, if you would hoof it over to me, we can undo this ridiculous ruling and be on ou—“
“Ah!” Torn Page jerked his hoof away, putting the scroll out of Luna’s reach just before her hooves could clasp down around it. He took a step back, putting a hoof between them and halting her advances to a hoof to the chest. “I’m sorry, Princess, but what dealings do you have in the governance of this country?”
“Wha—” Luna was taken aback. Her jaw almost dropped, and she exchanged glances with Sweetie Belle. “I am a princess!”
“But are you the princess, hm...?” Torn Page leaned in smugly, wobbling his eyebrow. He then snapped back to his own position, waving to the scroll in his hoof to explain. “I’m sorry, but you need the agreement of two princesses in order to do that.”
“I—Ugh—” Princess Luna groaned, facehoofing. She then continued to groan into her hooves as she ran them down her face, and spun around, glancing quickly at the ground as she spoke. “Okay, okay, hold on.” She grabbed a stray scroll from the ground and turned to face Sweetie Belle.
“Sweetie Belle,” Princess Luna began in her most regal voice and the filly perked up. Sweetie’s eyes grew wide as Princess Luna lowered the scroll onto her shoulder, and then the next. “I, Princess Luna of Equestria, hereby dub thee Princess Sweetie Belle, princess of, uh...” She paused, holding the scroll in place. “...marshmallows and hot chocolate.”
“Ooh!” Sweetie’s face lit up, a smile forming, and stars sparkling in her eyes. “Does that mean I get to learn... chocolate spells?”
“Yeah”— Princess Luna nodded, tossing the scroll away-- “whatever.” She whisked Sweetie Belle off the ground and spun back around to face Torn page with the filly held up in front of the. “There,” she huffed, “She’s a princess. Now do the thing.”
Torn Page frowned and leaned in close, squinting as he looked the filly up and down. “Hm...” His eyes narrowed. “... by whose order?”
Princess Luna guffawed. “Wh—Mine!”
“...” The stallion leaned back, considering this for a moment. He nodded— “I’ll have to consult Princess Celestia on this one.” Then, without another word, he dropped the scroll into his saddlebags and trotted past Luna.
Everypony watched in silence, their eyes following the stallion as he made his way across the room, past the circle of ponies, and left the room in search of Princess Celestia.
“Oh, COME ON!” Princess Luna facehoofed—well, theoretically at least.
“Um...” In the silence that followed, Sweetie Belle began squirming in the Princess’ hold. “Princess?” she squeaked, “Could you, um, put me down, please?”
“No.” Luna replied, matter of fact. She moved Sweetie Belle to under her arm as she turned, with princessly poise, and then broke into a gallop, chasing off after Torn Page.
Stats
Page generated in 0.048 seconds
Total duration
980 users online
46,089 hits today, 2,814,898 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Nice bit with the "punching yourself"!
Typos:
was lying
All two word pony names need both words capitalized.
whose order
a gallop
8114778
All fixed, thank you!
I'm not entirely sure how I ended up not capitalising Sweetie's name. I noticed that at some point, but I guess forgot to check for other instances.
is the "The" supposed to be there?
should be spelled "bureaucracy " Unless it's deliberate? I haven't read this yet. Too much gets abandoned unfinished so I don't usually read stuff until it's either done or 100,000+ words
8114861
Welp. I thought it looked wrong. I use that word so rarely.
And yeah, I know what you mean about abandoned fics.
This has teetered on the edge due to personal problems, but I don't intend on letting it die (especially now that I've gotten a second wind).
8114855
Things get weird with multiple princesses, that was probably meant to be "The first/second Celestia." I'll check.
8114889
I'll tell you a secret. Just use the plus at the top of the screen & start to type in the word. Usually, if you're close enough it will show a list of topics & you can get the right spelling from that
8114900
You mean in Google Docs?
'Cause ah don't use google docs. I use MS Word and keep everything offline. However it can't correct spelling if it can't recognise what you're trying to type.
8114904
No idea on Earth. I'm just using the search engine that came with the computer. Haven't a clue what it is. (There's more than 1? IDK that!) Whichever one Microsoft makes. I click on the blue E, it opens the search engine. I get it to open a window with the site I want (frequently used sites get a colored square with the site name in it)
The window has the site name in a grey bar across the top. There's a plus sign to the right of the name. I click that & it opens a new window with the search engine screen in it.
I'm almost totally computer illiterate. I swear, one of these days I'm going to kidnap a 5 year old. Not for immoral purposes, just to help me with my computer. (Just kidding. But, the Internet is NOT my friend. Hey, it had a rotten attitude towards me first)
8114928
Ah~
The 'blue E' you're talking about is what we call "The Bane of All Internet User's Existance: Microsoft Edge." It's a bare minimum web browser. The plus is just opening a new tab, and they tend to put a search bar on there by default because everyone uses them so much. :T
But yeah, I've done the same. If you're not sure: type it into google.
She immediately skidded a halt and
BTING THAT PAGE BACK HERE RIGHT
Sweetie Belle grouching around the corner
Luna, gathering her strength, listed her head and squinted
That’s exact one
Everypony watched ins silence
1. Skidded to a halt.
2. Bring.
3. Crouching
4. Lifted.
5. That.
6. In.
The trolls are strong in this one
+ imaginary :trolltornpage: + :trolluna:
8116058
All fixed, thanks! I should've edited this one a bit more, but I think I forgot having to move on to writing other things.
And what makes you think he's imaginary?
8116403 Imaginary as in "FimFic doesn't have the actual icon" imaginary.
8116533
Ahhh... Okay.
8122038
Ayyyye~ thanks. I really need to fix up those old chapters. They're in quite a bit of a state.
I went through and fixed those, and maybe a few other things. (I promise the later chapters are less terrible -- as that will be after I 'got gud').
Ahahah XD I love this so much
8141885
Aalso believe hijinks or hijinx is the normal formulation, but "high jinks" is also in there…
a dead end in approximately
insertion of "other" between "my" and "self" tends to break this confusion. Of course, as author you have no interest in doing so, only the characters do…
Sweetie Belle does not actually agree that they're there to look for that scroll, so Torn Page can't provide it anyway.
8157943
Fixed the mistakes~
You're right, that would break the confusion.