Living with ponies? Defeating villains? I could get used to this.

by The Batmane of equestria

Beginning of a nightmare

The dark brown earth pony guard dressed in full gold armour and a sword attached to his barrel nervously trotted ahead of me, leading me to the room where I would be staying. I had found him just outside the side exit of the throne room, and had quickly asked him to take me to the room where I would be staying. He looked in the room to see if all was well and came across the two unconscious guards, which had unnerved him a bit, but I informed him of the situation. I’m still not sure how he knew where I would be staying nor how he didn’t hear the ruckus in the first place, but I try not to dwell on it.

As we walked through the halls, a strangely familiar voice popped into my head.

You’re capable of so much more than what you did to those two guards, yet you show respect to these pitiful cartoon horses?

I recognised the voice. Quite well, in fact.

Seriously? I’ve got Sombra in my head as well as preparing to fight him?

I am far from Sombra. We used to share the same body, but no longer. I am one they call Dark Star!

Hasn’t that been used before?

NO!

Because I’m pretty sure that…

I said, NO!

Sheesh, calm down “Dark Star”. ThoughI’mprettysurethat’sthenameofanOC

GRAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

I stopped winding him up when we arrived at the bedroom. The guard gestured towards the door before quickly trotting off to… well, do whatever the guards do except fail to defend a city.

The room was quite spacious. On my right was an en suite bathroom complete with what I hoped was a working shower, and in front of me was a large poster bed with white sheets and two attached bedside tables, one on each side. Opposite the bed was an oak wardrobe and at the far side of the room was a glass door leading to a balcony with what I must admit was a good view of Canterlot. And to top it all off, a God of Chaos was floating in the centre of it all.

Wait.

What?

“Discord, why are you here?” I asked the smirking Draconequus.

“Well your arrival here caused quite the disturbance,” he said, snapping his talons and making a glass of chocolate milk appear, before drinking the glass and throwing away the chocolate milk, which shattered on impact with the floor, like only Discord could do. “And when I heard what you did in the throne room, angering Sunbutt like that, I simply had to see you in person.”

“You could at least be original.” I commented, glancing at the shattered chocolate milk.

“Whatever do you mean?” Wow. Discord actually seemed confused.

“The whole ‘drink the glass and throw away the milk’ routine. You’ve done it before.”

“What? But how did you know?”

“I come from a dimension where you’re all TV characters.” I said simply, sitting on the bed.

“Rather abrupt, don’t you think?”

“Well, imagine how Twilight and the girls reacted?”

Discord suddenly summoned a directors outfit and an old-fashioned camera. “Oh, how I would have paid to have seen that. I could have recorded it all and watched it over and over again!”

“Is that all or is there more?”

Fuel to the chaotic fire.

I found myself in a tuxedo standing in a navy blue astral plane with Discord, who sported a suit of his own whilst standing next to a spinning wheel. “LET’S PLAY ‘WHAT SHOULD WE TALK ABOUT NOW’ WITH YOUR HOST, THE GOD OF CHAOS, CREATOR OF MISCHIEF, YOU KNOW HIM, YOU LOVE HIM, IT’S DISCORD!”

“Thanks Scott.” Discord said before turning to me. “Tonight mares and gentlecolts, we have a special guest, Ryan! Here’s how to play. You just spin the wheel and whatever it lands on is our topic of discussion!”

I rolled my eyes and spun the wheel, which landed on ‘Future plans’. Why do I get an ominous feeling?

“Good spin! Oh have I plans for you!”

“With all due respect, Discord, I’d rather not know.” We disappeared from the astral plane, only to reappear in the room in Canterlot.

“Harumph. Fine then.”

“But I was wondering if you would like to hang out and cause chaos some time?” Fun fact: as much as I like order in some things, chaos is always fun to bring into the mix. And this may be just the way to keep some semblance of sanity, by releasing it every so often.

“Hubba-whu?”

“Yeah. Why don’t we meet up sometime and cause chaos? It could be fun for the both of us.”

“Wait, really? So, what you’re asking is if I want to be your friend so we can hang out and bring chaos to unsuspecting victims?” I nodded. “YIPEE! This will be so much fun!” As soon as he said it, an alarm popped out of nowhere and rang.

“Oh, that’s my cue. Ta-ta!” With that, Discord abruptly left.

Well, that was random.

You can say that again.

As soon as ‘Dark’ said that, the entire room shook with tremendous force. The windows shattered, drawing my attention to them, and giving me a view of what happened outside.

Outside, I could see a main city wall crumbling apart as a dark shadow enveloped the remnants. I grabbed the telescope that was conveniently placed on the balcony and looked through it, immediately identifying the floating red eyes with purple and black smoke emanating from them.

There was no doubt about it.

Sombra had arrived.

And he was not happy.

Author's Note:

Again, major thanks to Luna-tic for editing! I'm still in the market for one more editor, so PM me if you're interested.

So, Sombra is here! So how did he get here so fast? What does he want exactly (aside from taking over Equestria)? WHAT CAN OUR HERO DO!?

All this and more in our next spectacular instalment.

tBoE signing off for now!

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[The Batmane of equestria]

5519710 But it's so much fun to write!