Living with ponies? Defeating villains? I could get used to this.

by The Batmane of equestria

I ship it

Author's Note:

Special thanks yet again to Luna-tic. If you haven't already, drop her a watch!

Let's kick this new arc with shipping and a slight bit of background. A slight bit.

Warning: DisLestia shipping ahead. Proceed at your own risk.

TBoe signing off for now! (To do some work on a new story idea)

"So, you're sure you're okay with this? I'm not imposing or anything, am I?" I said, lugging behind me a large bag containing the god-sword (which I have to pay Twilight back on somehow), my military kit (which I convinced Discord to give back), and a selection of cupcakes left over from the impromptu celebration that everypony was somehow celebrating as soon as Tirek was defeated. I swear I will never understand this place.

"No, not at all Darling. It's no bother, really. You need someplace to stay and it's the least I can offer after all you've done." Rarity insisted.

Rarity had allowed me to stay with her until I get a place of my own, which is surprising as she'd already offered to make me some clothing, for free, might I add. I felt as if I was taking advantage of her generosity.

"Well, I still feel as if I'm taking advantage of you here."

"Oh, perish the thought!"

We arrived at Carousel Boutique quickly, allowing me to drop the extraordinarily heavy bag.

"Sweetie!" Rarity called in a sing-song voice. "I'm home!" The pitter-patter of tiny hooves came from the stairs behind the counter.

"Rarity!" Squeaked an adorable little voice as a white and pink-purple ball of fuzz latched itself to Rarity's chest. "You've been gone for days!"

"Well, I did say I'd be gone a while." Rarity replied, patting Sweetie Belle on the back as she nuzzled into her chest. "I'm honestly quite surprised that the Boutique is still standing and not a pile of rubble. However did you manage to do that?"

"Oh, that's easy." She beamed. "Discord helped me!"

Rarity's eye twitched. "D-Discord?"

"Yep! He repaired most of the damage himself!" Sweetie continued obliviously.

I placed a calming hand on her shoulder. "It's okay Rarity. Discord probably hasn't altered anything and if he did you can make him change it back, alright?"

"O-Okay." She stammered. Sweetie Belle finally took the time to realise there was another pon- erm, person in the room.

"aaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-mmph!" Rarity stopped the scream by placing a hoof in Sweetie's mouth.

"Calm down, Sweetie. This is Ryan. He'll be staying with us for a while. He was the one who *ahem* defeated Tirek." Sweetie seemed to stop her muffled screaming at this point. "Do you promise not to scream when I remove my hoof?" Sweetie nodded. "Okay." And thus, the hoof was removed.

"So, uh," Sweetie started. "Where do you come from? The Everfree?"

"No, I'm from a different plane of existence. Another world, maybe even another dimension." I replied as non-cryptically as possible when being vague about where you come from.

"But really, where about?" She prompted curiously.

"A planet called Earth. More spec-"

Sweetie cut me off. "Earth? What kind of name is Earth for a planet? Is it just covered in soil?"

"No, nothing like that. To be honest, I don't know why it's called that either. Anyway, I come from a city called Liverpool in a country called England. Not the best place to live but it has it's moments." I continued.

"Why is it bad?" She asked.

"Well, I'll answer that a bit later after I'm settled in a bit. Maybe after dinner." I responded, before picking up my bag. "So," I said, addressing Rarity. "Where will I be staying?"

"Er, well there's room in the attic, as long as you don't mind staying there."

"Of course not!" I smiled. I proceeded to walk up the stairs, Rarity keeping pace behind me. I carried on along the wide curved corridor as I reached the top of the stairs until I came to a door marked 'Attic'. I heard the distinctive sparkly sound of magic and the door unlocked with a light *chunk*.

I pushed open the door and was faced with a dark staircase, which I sprinted up as a force of habit (What? I like climbing stairs!). The attic was dark and barren, the only light seeping in through the small square window. In one corner sat a bed. I immediately placed my bag on the floor and moved to sit on the bed.

"I do hope it's not too, well, drab for you." Rarity spoke up behind me.

"It's perfect!" I smiled. "It's dark, it's bare, and it will give a good view of the stars at night! Thank you, Rares!"

"N-no problem, dear." She smiled sheepishly. "Erm, dinner will be ready in about 10 minutes. I hope you don't mind a light salad? I'm afraid I'll be quite busy this evening and I simply won't have the time to prepare something else."

"Oh, it's no bother at all!" I reassured as she left the room.

I looked around the room to get a better feel for the place. The room was made of a dark wood, most likely tinted oak, with a small lamp fixture on the wall about a metre away from where I sat. The bed was a basic wooden-framed piece with white sheets and a blue blanket. The mattress was soft enough to be comfortable but hard enough to avoid me sinking in. Absolutely perfect.

I was caught up in observing when I heard my name being called from downstairs. "Coming!" I replied, standing up and leaving the room. I navigated to where I assumed the kitchen was and opened the door. I was correct in my assumption and deftly moved over to where Rarity was levitating three bowls. Within said bowls was something which I knew would cause an issue: a daisy salad.

"I hope you don't mind opening the dining room door, dear . I have my hooves full at the moment." Rarity... Asked? I don't know, this grammatical conundrum always stumped me. It was spoken as a statement yet posed as a question.

Shaking my head clear of the puzzle, I replied "but of course, m'lady." Before opening the door I assumed was to the living room, only to come face-to-face with a storage closet. Rarity giggled behind me. " I, erm, assumed that-"

"To assume is to make an ass out of you and me." Rarity lectured.

I mock-gasped. "My my, Rarity! Such language!" I half-shouted in mock horror.

"Oh, because you've been completely civil since you arrived." She rolled her eyes. I turned around and opened the actual right door, which lead to a colourful room with paintings on the walls and in the middle resided a white table at knee-height.

Ah. Another problem.

If I hadn't already explained, ponies barely come up to my waist in height, making me quite gangly compared to them. Strangely, all of the doors here were about the right size to let a human through. I'll have to ask Twilight about that one.

I kneeled at the table as Rarity places the three bowls in front of me, herself, and Sweetie Belle, who was sat at the table beforehand. Rarity took her seat, and by seat, I mean cushion, and by doing so freed Sweetie and I of the social convention of not eating before all diners were seated.

We ate in relative silence, the general thrum of the evening punctuating the air like... Uh.... Something that punctuates? Whatever. The silence was only broken about halfway through our meal by Sweetie Belle.

"So why was that place that you come from bad?" She asked.

"Sweetie!" Rarity gasped, probably because Sweetie bringing up a topic that may hold bad memories is against some sort of pony social convention or something.

"Oh, it's quite alright." I assured. I then addressed Sweetie Belle. "Well, the city I lived in was infested with crime in a lot of places. There were always reports of shootings, muggings, robberies, assaults, etcetera. This gave the city a bad reputation, and, as a result, a lot of the more honest people there decided to leave to avoid the crime. This left more criminals behind, meaning that there weren't many good role models for young children. This growth of crime was supplemented by many exaggerated claims from media, like newspapers, who took advantage of one situation to make the others seem bad." I lectured.

"But, why would they do that?" Sweetie asked.

"Because the people in charge of newspapers were often vindictive bullies who would do anything to make more money, and drama and rumour attracts crowds."

"That... That's awful!" She half-shouted.

"I know. That's why when I saw the opportunity to join the military and leave any bad misgivings about me behind, I took it."

"Forgive me darling, but how exactly does that help? Surely you would still be insulted from being from... Litterpool, was it?" Rarity interjected.

"Liverpool." I corrected. "Whilst I am unsure as to how military personnel are seen here, where I come from, thousands, if not millions, of people could die in a single war, and it is considered extremely disrespectful to talk about people who freely give their lives for their country in a negative way."

"Wait," Sweetie said. "Why couldn't you have taken a different job, like a geologist? Maybe you could have stayed away from Liverpool then?"

"True, but I had nothing against the city, only it's reputation. And it's reputation would only have followed me."

"Oh. Alright." We continued to eat in silence for another minute before we finished.

"Okay, I shall take everypony's bowls." Rarity said, telekinetically lifting the bowls. She suddenly froze as she saw my bowl. "Ryan, you haven't eaten your daisies. Were they bad?" She pouted.

"No, not exactly. It's just that, well, humans don't actually eat flowers. We don't find them palatable."

"Oh Celestia, darling! And you let me serve it to you! I am so sorry! Please forgive me!" I swear, if she wasn't the Element of Generosity, she would be the Element of Drama.

"Oh, calm down. I neglected to tell you so the fault is all mine. Don't beat yourself up over it."

"I-I'm sorry. It's just you're a guest in our home and if you're not happy, then I'm not happy."

I smiled reassuringly at her. "I'm perfectly happy. You've given me a room to stay in after only knowing me a few days, which is more than most people back home would give. Not only that, you actually provided me with food. Good food, might I add. You've given more than enough. There's no need to be upset."

"I-if you insist, but please allow me to give you some form of apology!" She pleaded.

"A roof over my head is more than enough, Rarity. You needn't stretch yourself."

"Alright." She said reluctantly. She carried the bowls into the kitchen, and I watched her as she left.

"I ship it." Said two voices behind me. I spun around and saw Discord and Sweetie smirking at me.

"Oh knock it off. Discord, I know you have a crush on Celestia," which set him off into embarrassed stuttering. Nailed it. "And Sweetie, remember what happened last time you tried to force two ponies into a relationship?" Which made her look down sadly. "Exactly."

"You don't have proof." Discord harrumphed, crossing his arms and turning away dramatically.

"Really? Because where I come from, everything here is a TV show, which has so far been accurate up until I arrived, but you and I both know a crush at your level must have lasted longer than a few days. Plus, your reaction was more than enough proof." I smirked triumphantly.

"Well, I... And what if I do? It's not like she would like me back or anything." He lamely attempted to hide his sadness behind more sass. Because that always works.

"Sweetie, you and the crusaders meet me at Sugarcube Corner tomorrow at 4pm. Discord, I also expect you there. I have a plan to set you up with Celestia." I smiled. Honestly, I don't have a plan, but I thought I could at least come up with one by tomorrow.

"W-w-w-WHAT!?" Discord shouted in shock.

"You can leave now, if you wish, but you will be meeting us there." I asserted.

"Fine then!" He snapped his fingers and teleported away.

"Do you really have a plan?" Sweetie asked.

"Oh yes. But that can wait until tomorrow." I rubbed my hands in a way that greatly suggested malicious intent, chuckling darkly.

"You are weird," Sweetie stated.

"I thought I established that already."

Comments

[deathcombo99]

Sorry to say this but I never liked discord x celestia shipings I don't know why