• Member Since 10th Jul, 2013
  • offline last seen Feb 25th, 2018

The Pree Sphee


Moved to Wattpad under @PreeSpunky due to lack of motivation and reevaluation of low fanfiction standards. Also got a YouTube if that's your kink.

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Sixteen years since Nightmare Moon's shocking victory over the Elements of Harmony, most of Equus is transformed into the nocturnal dystopia she's dreamed of. Mutated by the parasitic Everfree Swamp, a fanatic-ridden mudland, the merging of magic and technology, and oppressive Night Guard rule, "post-Renaissance" Equestria is unrecognizable from its former self.
However, when a reclusive and haunted assassin takes an unhinged group of pariahs under his care, he is suddenly pulled along in an arduous journey against impossible odds and worldwide travels. Fueled by an unquenchable drive and Equestria's mysterious past, they are determined to return Celestia's Sun to the dark sky.


Cover art commissioned by Verbose Mode

Rated Teen for brutal violence throughout, language, sexuality, and copious amounts of horse puns. :fluttershysad:

***Cancelled due to lack of motivation and publicity. Longer explanation and alternate continuation available.***

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 9 )

Jesus Christmas Lord Almighty.

Well, the writing itself is certainly solid. I haven't heard too many fanfics that have a strong prose in it of itself that easily wiggles itself into the readers ear and makes itself and the reader nice and comfortable. It sounds crisp and polished, well practiced and well intentioned.

But the lore and the story that it brings to life? They are very confusing.

But of course, that is to be expected given this is an alternate universe story. So gaps in lore compared to the show is to be expected.

For future reference, I'd advise that with every new paragraph, you leave an extra space between it, such as the type shown here. That will make the text much more pleasing to read on the browser. Additionally, you've got several huge walls of text that make reading less-than-thrilling. I'd advise you to try and break them up so as not to have so many sentences in four to five inches of my computer's display.

All in all, I do like what you have written here so far. I'll be sure to check out the other chapters, too.

8166074 Thanks for the feedback! I usually try to stray away from intimidating walls of text, but I guess this story is probably one of the hardest to do that with - at least for me, certainly. There's a minor quality bump from the first prologue to the end of the first chapter in writing; this fic took over the course of a few years to write, rewrite, and edit, so that particular flaw won't be a problem from the first chapter out, when my writing will certainly become consistent. :raritystarry:

As for the confusion, an element of psychological whiplash in the prologue is fitting, considering the situation the narrator is in and all. It all blends in to the rest of the story, though. :twilightsmile:

You really should (unless this is the fault of the site's new formatting) break up the text in the very beginning.

8368861

8324127

Not sure if you guys would care (or even remember this story existing :rainbowderp:), but I posted the overview of everything I had planned for this story as a third chapter. Hopefully that oughtta count as some form of closure.

If this story was cancelled, then why isn't it labeled as such?

There is one thing just cause Luna is free dose not mean the other ponies in equestria will accept her for she has done to equestria how would you explain that part cause not all will forgive Luna.

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