• Member Since 27th Jun, 2014
  • offline last seen 11 hours ago

LegionofPony


I write commissions and sometimes write stuff I come up with too. Nuff said.

Comments ( 35 )

This is a one-shot for now, but I intend to update it sometime in the future. I finally decided to post it, as it has been on my FIMFic account just sitting stagnant for a couple months now...so may as well put it out and see how it does. If you happen to notice any errors, feel free to comment and tell me about it - I always like to improve my work. Or just feel free to comment about it at all. I love seeing discussions or any comments on my stories.

5850898 Well, thank you. Glad I'm not the only one with this...liking. :twilightsmile:

This story contains/will contain some pretty fetishistic content, including but not limited to: tentacle sex (consensual and N/C), cervical/uterine penetration, impregnation/oviposition cum inflation, and finally birthing.

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I'd suggest cleaning up your summary a bit, so people could tell at a first glance what's an actual plot summary and what's an author's note. Also, delete the "Needless to say: if you don't like the content, DO NOT READ THIS STORY." part; it makes you come off as a bit presumptuous and generally does the opposite of what you want to achieve with it.

That aside, I liked the story itself. Please continue; there's not enough stories on the site with tentacle induced pregnancy :twilightblush:

Please continue. I'd hate to see such a fantastic story without some sort of ending. That was super hot, though I found the first two chapters a bit dry. Maybe add a bit more detail?

5851838 Your advice was taken and done, thanks. Also, glad you enjoyed.

5852213 I probably will. I mainly just wanted to set some sort of background without just jumping into the good stuff, as this is going to be more of a fleshed-out story in the future.

5852439 In time. Working on 2 (now 3) stories, playing shit-tons of games with friends, and living life in general ain't easy.

Damn this is wonderful, full of kinky awesome win.

Ha! I've seen my share of tentacle stuff, but I think this is the first time I see a story where the monster thanks its victim. Such a gentletacle!

You asked for criticism, so...
The only complaint I would have with this story is that the introduction was kinda bland. Everything up to the point where Twilight is lost in the cave is pretty much pointless. Personally, I don't enjoy reading 4000 words that basically boil down to "Twilight is caught by a storm in the Everfree and goes into a cave for shelter" before I get to the juicy part. The really interesting parts (aside from the sex) are what's gonna happen with those eggs, what this creature really is, etc, not that Twilight went to pick up some tea.
With that being said, the smut was well written and the premise is interesting, so I hope you'll write some more!

5904671 Thank you for the review! I was planning on revamping the intro...eventually, and already have slightly. Of course, this story isn't going to be strictly sex all throughout, but will have a fair amount throughout. That's why I didn't add anything sexual to the first 2 chapters: so the suddenness of the act in the third chapter would have more of an impact on the reader.

I'm not sure what happened here:
> until it entered what must have been one of the horns of her womb
What it did to her... eggs?
> tentacle's tip pull back to the main body of her womb and start to get big. Really big.
And why it starts to get big?

6109545 it did nothing to Twilight's ovaries or eggs. It was exploring her reproductive tract.

As for why the tip expanded, it's because it was an ovipositer. It was expanding to keep itself within her womb and to allow the eggs thorough.

6109890
I was hoping it's nothing dark. Thanks.

More "Super Weird" fetish, pls. :rainbowlaugh:

It was interesting how thought-out the process here was. Also, polite tentacle monster. I'm surprised it didn't give her flowers. :twilightsmile:

6192323 Thank you, I put a lot of thought and detail into my stories. Don't want them to just be some crap, now do I? As for polite tentacles, I really do think there should be more of them. All the rapists give all the poor tentacles a bad name I say, even the nice ones! As for giving her flowers....do the eggs count? :twilightblush:


And finally for the request for 'more'... all I can say in return is 'eventually'. This story is a mare (heh) of an idea for me to flesh out properly, and actually mentally drains me a lot when I work on its future chapters (yes, they're in very slow progress). Plus I'm working on another two stories now, so...eventually.

6193054 I do hope Twi gets a chance to give 'Mel' a firm talking-to about the concept of 'informed consent' later. Not that Twi wouldn't have been happy to help, most likely, anyway, even without considering the incentive... :rainbowlaugh: Desperation, I suppose, makes tentacle-aliens make rash choices. :pinkiecrazy:

I'm kinda curious how it was communicating with her; it almost sounded like it made a physical connection to her brain, but I'm guessing it was actually just 'surface-contact telepathy' or something? :twilightsmile:

6193761

I do hope Twi gets a chance to give 'Mel' a firm talking-to about the concept of 'informed consent' later. Not that Twi wouldn't have been happy to help, most likely, anyway, even without considering the incentive...

I'll discuss why 'Mel' acted the way it did when I get around to finishing the next chapter.

I'm kinda curious how it was communicating with her; it almost sounded like it made a physical connection to her brain, but I'm guessing it was actually just 'surface-contact telepathy' or something?

I'll reveal that in the next chapter too...whenever it's done. :(

6193910

I'll reveal that in the next chapter too...whenever it's done. :(

I look forward to it, whenever it comes. :twilightsmile:

Second time I've read this. It is truly amazing! You need to make more chapters of this!!!!! :pinkiehappy::raritystarry:

6565025 I'm glad you liked it enough for a re-read. I've been working on it passively, along with a few other stories I've been fleshing out. This one's particularly hard to write for and make decent in my opinion though.

I hope to see this story continue. Certainly it could be interesting to see Twilight study this very unusual creature and its various aspects.

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