Chapter Five - The Waste
Cadance fell to her knees before struggling back up to her hooves. She was making her way along the edge of a long canyon that she did not remember existing before. She did not know if the planet had changed since she had left the others or if she was simply lost. Looking both ways, the gouge in the earth stretched in each direction as far as she could see through the great walls of dust.
If she kept walking along it, she could at least keep her bearings.
It was important that she kept going away. Simply living in the wasteland by herself was no longer enough.
She did not need food or water, and she did not think her body really needed sleep. Instead she was filled with a gnawing hunger for something else. She needed to feel love. To love, or be loved, it did not matter. The mutual love between two ponies would be even better.
Her head turned around as if drawn by a beacon. It was like a great light shone through the dust. Aunt Celestia loved Twilight so very much. Cadance licked her lips. Just being near the two of them could sate her.
But then she would be near Twilight.
Cadance wiped away the tear that began to run down her cheek, but only dust was on her face.
If she spent even another hour around the pony who was more of a sister than anything else, she was not sure what she would do. Aunt Celestia loved Twilight, and Cadance could sense that, despite everything that happened, Twilight was still able to love the eldest alicorn back. It would be a feast of emotion, if not for the subtle poison tainting it all.
At first Cadance had thought Twilight was empty. On the surface the former unicorn seemed like nothing more than a shell. For months Cadance sensed only stillness from Twilight, but eventually when she pushed deeper, she was repulsed by what she had found.
Cadance could not understand how one pony could hurt so much.
She thought she would kill Twilight if she ever saw her again. It was the only merciful thing to do. Twilight’s suffering was too great to do anything else.
There were certain things that could destroy even an immortal body.
If she returned to Celestia and Twilight they could be one big family again, much like they had been in those first few months. There would be sisterly love between Aunt Celestia and Luna, and the love Aunt Celestia had for Twilight. Cadance just did not think it would be enough, not with all of Twilight’s pain.
She had always loved to see ponies in love. Spreading love and basking in love had brought her a great warmth even as a filly. It was only after everypony else was gone that she realized that she needed love. With nopony around sharing their hearts, it was like there was a great emptiness inside that she could not fill.
The world used to be filled with so much love.
The chasm spread deep into her soul and grew wider with each passing day. Cadance was not certain if it had a bottom anymore. She did not think she would ever be able to fill it, and would be surprised if it did not run all the way through her. Any warmth that she absorbed would simply fall out on the other side.
The love from the others would simply dull the ache while making her all the more aware of the gaping hole in her being.
That was no way to live her life. It was no way for Twilight to live hers.
There was a simple solution. Cadance kept coming back to it, time and time again. The plan was elegant in its simplicity, and everypony would get what they wanted. Everypony would be happy, and everypony would be loved.
That was all that she wanted.
Cadance would disappear into the waste, never to be heard from again. She had just enough magic left to alter her coat and mane, and reshape her voice. The cutie mark would be the hardest part. She would probably need a mirror to make sure she got all of the details right. Luckily her body shape would not need to be altered too much, and lavender was not that far from pink.
Cadance had just enough magic for one fantastic gift. Twilight would make a miraculous recovery, and Twilight’s trauma would explain any inconsistencies in her memory or behavior. Cadance knew enough about the youngest alicorn’s life to pull it off.
Aunt Celestia would love her the way she needed to be loved, and she could learn to love her back. Without Twilight’s pain, the last of the barriers between Aunt Celestia and Luna would crumble.
Everypony would be happy. There would be nopony in pain. She would be able to fill the hole.
Cadance just did not know where she would hide Twilight’s body when she replaced her.
She shook her head, wishing that she had the moisture left in her body to shed tears. Twilight was like a sister to her. It did not matter if everpony would be better off, she could not let herself give into the temptation. She had to stay away from the others.
Cadance had blocked Aunt Luna out of her dreams when she had first gone into the waste. She was not a skilled lucid dreamer and was not confident that she would be able to keep her secrets. It was not a great loss, as she did not think Aunt Luna had ever been particularly fond of her. She had always just been “that other alicorn.”
It was a necessity. She could not let the others know what she had been dreaming, but Aunt Celestia’s love shone so brightly. Whenever she had looked towards the Canterhorn mountain or the valley below it, she would remember the little filly she had left behind.
Cadance could not stop dreaming about the only thing she could do for Twilight.
The last few nights had been particularly tough. A few times she had found herself wandering towards where she knew she would find the others without even thinking.
She would kill Twilight if she saw her again.
So instead she had lied to Aunt Luna.
She did not want Luna to know know why she was leaving. Her aunt would likely have tried to stop her. Luna and Celestia would try to come up with a way to help her.
Cadance shook her head. There was nothing anypony could do for her. Even if Luna tried acting out Cadance's fantasies it would not be real.
The meeting with Aunt Luna was hard. She knew Luna was always only a few miles away, keeping an eye on little Cadance. However, at that distance she did not need to worry about the older alicorn seeing or hearing anything. Talking to her in pony however, had been different.
It had taken too much magic to weave the illusion to hide how bad she was. Even worse, pretending to still be normal had drained her. When Luna had mentioned Twilight, it had taken everything Cadance had to conceal how much she hated that pony.
She pressed a hoof against her face and pushed against her eye until it hurt. She loved Twilight. It was the pain that she hated. It was what Twilight made her think of doing that she hated.
She loved Twilight.
Cadance needed to get away. It did not matter where.
Dropping her dream barrier was a concession that she had been forced to make. Cadance was confident that, despite everything, Aunt Luna would have insisted on coming with had she not agreed to that demand.
Even though she risked spilling her secrets in her dreams, Cadance was confident, that if Luna had come with, that she would not have been able to maintain the charade of normality. This way, at least, she had a chance.
Cadance squinted at the distance.
The story she had told Aunt Luna had been a lie. There was no possibility of other ponies having survived. Yet, now she felt something.
Cadance had decided that her fate would be to waste away in the waste when she had finally sensed it. Just beyond the horizon were ponies that loved one another. There were happy ponies out there. She was not sure how long she had been walking, but they always seemed just outside of her reach.
If she could find the elusive ponies, her problems would disappear. There was love in the distance that could fill the hole. They would be strangers that she would not need to worry about hurting. If only they were not so far away.
Cadance looked down at her cracked and bleeding hooves. Perhaps she would find a rock and lie down behind it. She did not need sleep, but a nap would be nice. In a few days she would be far enough away that she could probably put the dream barrier back up without having to risk Luna hunting her down.
Only, she was not sure if she wanted to completely cut herself off. The isolation was already bad enough. Emotions did not carry well across dreams, but when Luna visited she could feel something at least. There was hope there in her dreams. All Cadance had to do was craft the right dreamscape to provoke Luna. Certainly her aunt was not as icy as she seemed.
Cadance stumbled again and did not get up. Instead she reached forward and grabbed two small stones with her hooves. Slowly she began pushing them across the ground towards one another. She wiggled the smaller of the two stones.
“Oh, Princess Celestia.” Her voice cracked as tried to adjust to talking again. “Somehow I’ve always known how you’ve felt.”
She tried to lick her cracked lips, and for a moment thought she tasted a hint of copper.
“My most faithful student.” Cadance moved the larger rock. “Of course I have always loved you.”
There was a third rock off to the side. She flicked it away with her magic. She would need to hide the body.
Slowly Cadance started tapping the stones against one another, and then shifted to smashing the two stones together until they ground themselves to dust. She was forced to close her eyes as the wind shifted and bits of stone began pelting her face. She had to keep moving. Cadance had to stay away from the others, and she needed to find the love that she felt.
With great force of will she pushed herself up to her hooves and stepped forward again. Half blind, she carefully felt out each step, using the warm sensation over the horizon to guide her.
Rocks clattered over the edge of the cliff and down into the canyon as she stumbled again. She did not hear them hit the bottom. Something was wrong with her hoof. Cadance held it up before her face trying to inspect it through the maelstrom of dirt whirling around her. It looked like she might have frostbite. The limb was beginning to turn black at the extremities, and it even looked like part of the flesh had decayed. If she squinted her eyes it almost looked like a hole had formed in her leg.
She was so hungry.
Cadance just wanted to be loved.
+++
Economic Downturn Worsens
After negotiations to secure mineral rights in the Budenny Expanse fell apart six months ago, the nation has a sharp rise in unemployment.
Many new industries relying on cheap access to high grade crystals have been forced to close their doors. With each business that has gone under, more ponies find themselves on the streets. Investor confidence is reported to be at an all time low.
The situation has been exacerbated by the recent news from the Crystal Empire. An in depth magical survey on, as of yet, untapped crystal fields has shown them to be unsuitable for harvesting. What is being dubbed the “Shadow Report,” indicates that a large number of the crystals in the Empire’s northernmost regions have been tainted by residual dark magic and could not be made suitable for use without great expense.
Ponies were stunned Wednesday when Crystal Consolidated announced that it was declaring bankruptcy. As one of the largest-
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What.
Cadence is perfectly sane, and is in no way shape or form changing. I approve of her course of action hole heartedly. It's better for her to be banished to the wastes where she can't bug Celestia and Twilight. Sure, they might have a fulfilling relationship, but Cadence can survive just by growing a tougher skin. She seems to be allergic to Twilight's hate, it's a good thing she hasn't broken out in hives.
... This raises questions as to Chrysalis' origins.
5520046 I appreciate your excessive use of puns.
5520051 agreed. Let's hope for Cadance's sake Twilight recovers soon
Chilling.
Delightful character study... I really like the notion of alicorns needing to feed on something. Dreams, love... if applicable, what does Celestia 'eat'? Or Twilight, for that matter.
You are good at writing madness.
Think of it as a compliment
Do carry on!
Damn...
5520362
Sometimes I wonder if I should be concerned how much I like writing crazy characters. That's what a lot of my original fiction is.
There is actually a hint of what Celestia needs to survive in an earlier chapter. I will point out that she seems to be doing fine (well, I mean she isn't filled with a gnawing hunger).
5520046
I approve of this comment hole heartedly. I just love getting these types of coments, it gives me the energy to post these things, and for some reason I don't bug anyone by it, sometimes I feel like they are mindless zombies.
5520362
isn't it obvious, Twilight feeds on Friendship; but since the entire pony race is dead from the leylines getting burned out(ESPECIALLY the rest of the Mane 6) it traumatized twilight in such a way that her mind has basically shut down like a Diesel Engine that's run out of Fuel; and if you know a Diesel Engine, they are a Cast Iron B*&^%CH to get running again because you have to Purge ALL of the Air out of the Fuel Injection System.
I see what you did there. I was seeing hints to changelings throughout this chapter, but the end line cinched it.
And I thought Luna had it bad. Eesh. I don't know if it's better for Cadence to be away from the group or with them at this point. It's really quite hopeless for her. I really enjoy the problem of each character and their unique suffering, their hunger - it's something that gives substance to the fic, turns a repetitive and unchanging scenario into a story.
At this point, I think I can rather safely guess that Twilight's malaise is caused by some combination of guilt (she had in some part designed the magical weapon that destroyed the world) and the fact both that friendship and literal magic are nearly dead, and she is some combination of the two.
... I wonder who Chrysalis used to be. Probably not something that will ever arise in this fic, but hm.
*Humming*
I can't remember, what happened in September...
Well. I was definitely thinking along the lines of changelings, but nothing quite that literal.
Only a few nitpicks:
punctuation needed after "loved"—dash, colon, etc.
drawn
shone (or shining)
the "that" should be before, not after, the comma
5520046
>hole heartedly
top kek
ETA: @Sapidus3: the only thing bugging me (no pun intended) is that it took me like 10 minutes to figure out "in pony" was supposed to be Equestrian for "in person". I dunno man, that felt like a pretty big stretch. Otherwise, awesome fic. Faved, thumbed, mustached, all that
Oh, wow.
5521638 uh well... guess my brain was too sleep-addled to see the obvious.
And yes to your engine anology. Also, now I have a picture of a Twilight designed combustion engine in my head... it's interesting.
Ooooo, i love the beginning of the fall here for cadence.
Woah, is Cadence becoming a changeling? Feeding on love, talk of killing and replacing Twilight to get that love, and now she's turning black.
Makes ya wonder if changelings were the result of a previous cataclysm...and moreover...this hurt inside Twilight...it's something that makes any affection Cadence has for Twilight be dwarfed by some kind of disgust or something...just...wow...
Now I REALLY want to know what is going on. So many mysteries, so many secrets. ...I like it!
I hope the lack of a tragedy tag is an indication that this story won't be ending in a, well, tragedy; but have a happy, or at least positive, ending. If not, please let me know somehow so I can stop following, because I really don't like tragedies.
While I don't usually go for such dark stories, I kinda like the way this one is going. I have to assume that by the lack of a "tragedy" tag, this story will have a happy ending somehow (i.e. Twilight will somehow recover, Celestia will confess her love and be accepted, and Cadence will finally find the love she had been searching so long for), though I'm curious as to how you will do it.
And this chapter has upped my enjoyment from a favorite to the second level of favorites I have in my bookshelf. Just, wow. This is how you write suspense and mystery. Perfect.