• Member Since 14th Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen Last Wednesday

Wayward Sun


Back from a very long hiatus.

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We were lost in the woods. It was cold, and dark, and we had little hope of getting home. That's when we saw a shooting star. We didn't know what else to do, so we wished.

Oh, how I wish we had died that night.

((A different take on the Sirens and the Dazzlings))

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 18 )

you took a seed of darkness and made it blossom into something beautiful....

Also, 'friend'? I wonder who that may be.

Edit: seriously, I can't believe how much I like this. Maybe its because I've read way too many fics where they just keep on plotting, hating, fight among themselves, break up, or stuff like that.

but its refreshing to see them happy.

5467653 Why thank ya.

XD The world may never know, mwahahaha! (Didn't know if you'd want your name on this monstrosity!)

My body ached, but throat burned, my eyes watered...

my?

It was possible the happiest moment of my life.

possibly?

Aria's whoop for joy

of?

I love this. The idea of them being possessed gives them a sympathetic light and yet fits into reason as well. Favorite time! :twilightsmile:

That was pretty interesting though I don't like the idea that they was possessed

Wow. Surprising idea.
I am intrigued.:pinkiehappy:

Takes the idea of the sirens possesing the dazzlings as human girls (an idea I was never too fond of) and makes something interesting. The middle part made me feel slightly confused, but in a watching a weirdass movie by some crazyass director sort of way. While some parts just felt unecesary, since they seemed to do nothing but point out 'we're possesed and drag on a bit too long, the story itself felt the right length.

6/10

Good enough to earn a like, but could definately do better.

5542061 I wouldn't really call this a 'story' so much as me just writing down ideas/dialogue. But, of course, Fimfic has the "No story under 1000 words rule" and atm I'm not uploading my stories to any other sites right now. Originally, without fluffing it out, it was 6-700-ish words and actually had Adagio say more, but it wrapped up too quickly. Of course, expanding the story meant getting rid of some of her less-redundant dialogue and adding in some events from the movie (this was originally them up until the movie.)

Long story short: 1000 word limit is my enemy, and I can't set my priorities straight.

5542153
Ah, I see.

5542220 Thank you for your criticism of it. There were parts that I know are kinda junky, but hearing it from someone else tells me I'm not just paranoid!

It took until the last scene for it to make sense, but once I read it again, I loved the idea and how you attempted to write it. I think the reason most people don't really understand what is going on for the majority of the plot is because the story is really distanced (which in this case isn't necessarily a bad thing) and has no context before to make it work. If you added a scene at the beginning where you tell how the Dazzlings were possessed, it would make more sense when we are thrown into Adagio's mind and it is nothing but her internal voice (that is what you were doing, right?).

I like the idea a lot, though. I might try to do something similar to this at some point. I have a lot of ideas on how to make it in a different style.

5715421 Yeah, I think adding a prologue of some sort would be the best thing to do here. I'll get to doing that eventually.

And I would love to see what you have in mind for this kind of style! Maybe I could learn a thing or two from you.

5723434

I honestly don't know if I am a decent writer or not yet, but I'll see what I can do. Maybe we could do a collab of some kind.

While a bit confusing for the first few segments, this was really awesome to read! You did a great job taking the reader through the shifting mindsets of Adagio during her possession, and at times it was positively chilling. But the ending was beautifully positive in a way I very rarely see with the Sirens. Wonderful work!

So the sirens were in total control of the Dazzlings, right? That seems to be the case but Adagio keeps talking as if she has a degree of control. A small degree, but still.

I really liked this

An intriguing idea for sure.

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