Pony's Island

by No One and Nobody

Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Two Oddballs, a Muffin and a Coconut-Cream Pie

As Pinkie trotted down Main Street pointing out all the sights to her new friends and handing out invitations to the party Skipper marveled at all the different ponies, some with wings, others with horns.

Passing by Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie stopped and got a coconut-cream pie for Gilligan ignoring his vehement protests.

“You’ll love it, trust me,” said Pinkie, grinning from ear to ear.

With pie in hand, Gilligan began to depart from the bakery. As he approached the door Pinkie said something about “twitchy face” and then yelled “LOOK OUT!”

Gilligan turned around to see what she was yelling, promptly lost his balance and accidentally sent the pie flying right into the face of a pony entering Sugarcube Corner.

“Sorry,” said Gilligan, trying desperately to wipe the pie off the face of the confused pony. But he only managed to smear it over a larger portion of the mare’s face.

The pony wiped pie out of her eyes and stared at Gilligan.

“HUMAN… HANDS… PIE! TODAY CANNOT GET ANY BETTER!!!” Screamed the mint colored pony.

Her tongue extended out of her mouth and rotated clockwise collecting all of the pie like a set of windshield wipers. With a clean coat and a huge smile the mare latched onto Gilligan’s right hand and began examining it.

“Fingers… Thumbs… Hands are So Awesome!”

“Pinkie… HELP!” Yelled Gilligan, trying to escape from the pony who had such a strong grip despite her lack of said appendage.

“Don’t worry, I’m coming Gilligan,” said Pinkie, grabbing another pie and heading for the door.

Halfway there she began to scrunch her face left and right, “Wow, Pinkie sense again I wonder what- Huh, Twitchy-fa-”

Pinkie wasn’t even able to finish her sentence as she stepped on the empty pie tin and went careening towards Gilligan.

“Aaaahhhhhhhhhh – here you go,” said the Pink mare, quickly passing Gilligan the pie as she shot by out the door, “-Aaaahhhhhhhhh.”

Gilligan grabbed at the second pie as it flew towards him. With one hand immobilized by the first pie victim the normally clumsy Gilligan was completely unable to halt the coconut-cream missile from its inevitable trajectory.

SPLAT!

Gilligan turned as best he could with one hand still being examined and winced when he saw he had once again pied another pony.

This pony slowly wiped the cream off her face with one hoof and looked up at Gilligan with two big, misaligned, golden eyes.

The pony and Gilligan said in perfect unison, unintentionally of course, “Oh I’m so sorry!”

“What are you sorry for? I dropped a pie in your face,” Gilligan asked, slightly bewildered.

“Yeah but now you have a ruined pie,” The yellow maned, grey coated mare replied, with an embarrassed grin.

“Oh think nothing of it.” Said Pinkie, with a trash can lid on her head from where she had landed. “I wanted you two to meet anyway. Let me show you to a table.”

With that, Pinkie Pie kicked the lid off of her head and produced, out of nowhere in particular, a white waiter’s coat and a fake mustache, which she put on. She led them over to a patio table after separating Gilligan from the hand-obsessed pony and ran into Sugarcube corner. As the two looked at each other in bewilderment, Pinkie reappeared with another coconut-cream pie and a muffin and placed them in front of them.

“Pardon me Pinkie but, why did you want us to meet?” The mare asked with a puzzled look on her face, “What do we have in common?”

Pinkie smiled.

“Oh I don’t know. He just reminded me of you… somehow.” With that, she went skipping off with the others to resume the tour.

The mare and Gilligan exchanged glances.

“Well, this is awkward.” Said Gilligan, glancing around. "I don’t even know your name.”

“Ditzy-Doo Hooves. But my friends call me Derpy.” Replied the mare. “I’m sorry I ruined your pie.”

“I’m sorry I ruined my pie all over you. Sometimes I think the Skipper’s right. I’ll never get anything right. No matter what I do I mess things up.”

“No kidding? Me too!”

“I’m a total klutz.”

“Me Too!”

“I’m a walking bad luck charm.”

“ME TOO! Well a walking and flying bad luck charm.” Derpy said with her misaligned eyes wide.

“The Skipper says that I’ll never amount to anything.” Gilligan said with a downtrodden look in his eyes.

“If the Skipper is so mean to you, then why do you stick with him?”

“Well… Because he’s my big buddy. He may hit me with his hat sometimes… a lot of times… most of the time… All the time. But I know he’ll always stick up for me. He’s the Skipper and he won’t let anyone push me around but him.”

“That’s nice,” said Derpy her eyes closed and a happy smile on her face. Then she opened her eyes and said with a confused expression, “I think.”

“It’s nice to have a friend you can always depend on no matter what,” said Gilligan smiling, “And I can always depend on the Skipper.”

“I know what you mean,” said Derpy, “When I was just a filly I didn’t have many friends because I was… Different.”

“I wasn’t,” said Gilligan tactlessly, “When I was a filly- I mean a kid everyone was just a weird as me… I think… You know I don’t actually remember. It was kind of a long time ago. I do remember my best friend Skinny Mulligan though.”

“What was he like?”

“You should have met him, he was the best apple bobbler ever. He held the record for keeping his head under the water, two hours and twenty-six minutes.”

“How did he do that?”

“He cheated.”

Derpy looked confused for a second and then said, “Oh, like Pinkie.”

“Yah,” said Gilligan, nodding. The two exchanged knowing glances.

“Skinny was really my only friend till I met the Skipper. But I do feel that I’ll never amount to anything.”

“I used to feel that way as well. But a good friend of mine told me to never stop believing in myself and always keep a positive outlook,” With that, Derpy finished her muffin and stood up, “Well Gilligan, I must be off. Onwards and upwards.”

Derpy floated off the ground and turned around… Where she promptly crashed into Bulk Biceps. The two barreled head over hoof, crashing into the side of Sugarcube Corner, “My apologies, Bulk Biceps. Do you forgive me?”

“YEAHHH!!!” Bulk screamed as he flexed, sending Gilligan into the air without wings. Bulk headed off on his way towards the gym and Derpy flew off towards her home.

Pinkie bounded over to Gilligan with the others. “Hi Gilligan. We just came back from the library.”

Skipper, with a look of excitement on his face said, “Yeah Gilligan and Twilight said that she and the Professor almost have the answer. So we should start repairing the holes in the boat and gathering supplies.”

Pinkie patted Skipper on the back and said, “Now Grumpy, Twilight only tells you she’s close to the answer when she has no idea what’s going on.”

Skipper glanced at Pinkie and said, “That’s ridiculous!”

---

“I have NO idea what’s going on!” Twilight yelled as she tossed another book on magical beings into an already gargantuan, unsteady pile of books, “There is no creature in Equestria that could feasibly have brought you here that isn’t already vanquished!”

The Professor glanced up from Magical Beings in Equestria and said, “Are you quite sure that Discord isn’t the one behind it all?”

“Well that’s the problem; he is the master of chaos so he could be lying but appear to be telling the truth or he could be telling the truth and appear to be lying.”

“You don’t think you could possibly be overthinking this whole thing?”

“What, no. I never overthink anything. It’s just when Discord is around I can’t sit idly-”

Pinkie popped up out of nowhere, put her hoof around Twilight’s shoulder and began singing a strange song, “I can’t move at all. I curse the name. The one behind it aaallllll. Discord I’m howling at the moon and sleeping in the middle of a summer afternoon. Discord whatever did we do to make you take our world awaayyyyyy…”

She ended on a particularly high, off-key note and the Professor could literally see Pinkie’s uvula bouncing around in the back of her throat like an actual punching bag.

“I love that song,” said a disembodied voice, and they all turned to see a blue-colored Discord with gold bracelets appearing out of a small golden lamp.

“I know it’s so funny, it’s like they forgot that you aren’t evil anymore. Still it’s a nice song,” said Pinkie with a large smile.

“What song… Who… How… What…” Twilight stammered.

The Professor put his hand on her shoulder and said, “Twilight who are we talking about here?”

Twilight looked at the Professor and then back at Pinkie and said, “Right, what was I thinking? Wait, Pinkie you were just here, right?”

“Yeah, why?” Said Pinkie, chewing on a carrot.

“Well, weren’t you giving your friends a tour of Ponyville?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, you did come back here. But then you went to get Gilligan, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, why are you back here again?”

“Skipper wants to fix the boat so I thought we should get some wood.”

“But Pinkie I don’t have any wood here just crystal. Why don’t you go to the Ponyville carpenter?”

“Because silly, they cost money and Skipper doesn’t have any so I thought I would come get some out of this closet.”

With that Pinkie went over to a wall and opened a closet which Twilight had never seen before. It was filled to bursting with nails, boards, and buckets of paint.

Twilight’s jaw dropped and she stared at the closet full of wood and then she said, pointing, “Pinkie where did that wood come from?”

“It’s my special ‘help-a-new-friend-from-another-universe-who-has-a-broken-boat’ stash.”

Twilight turned helplessly to Discord and said, “You didn’t…”

“Oh no,” said Discord, “I didn’t do a thing. That’s just Pinkie.”

“Right…” said Twilight, “Wait, what are you doing here?”

“Oh right,” Discord looked a little at ease, “Well after our little chat I went back to my house and took a good long look at that table and…”

“You found something?”

“Nope not a thing. But when I took a sniff and you know what I smelled?”

“Nothing?” asked Twilight.

“Singed lemons and smoke?” Asked Pinkie.

“Exactly,” said Discord smiling, “And you know what that means.”

“Uhhh… No,” said Twilight.

“Well the smoke came from the explosion. Come to think about it, I really should have cleaned that up first thing this morning. Now it’s going to stick to everything and gum up my whole house. Any-who the singed lemon smell means the explosion opened a hole in time and space. So you see that it wasn’t really my fault that these guests of yours are here. It was my little black box, and you can’t really blame it for doing something completely random, after all that’s what I made if for.”

Twilight had long since firmly planted her hoof on her face and now, rolling her eyes, looked up and said, “Whatever Discord. Just answer this question: ‘Can you send them back?’.”

“Well now that’s the problem,” said Discord, “You see I can find the hole. However once it’s made unless it has somepony's magic to stabilize it, it’s like one of those squishy rubber balls with the liquid inside. When you squeeze it, it slips right out of your grasp.”

“Really,” said Twilight, with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes,” said Discord smiling, “And you see these two universes, all universes in fact, are very good at squeezing things.”

“So the portal could be anywhere between here and Canterlot?” Asked Twilight with a grim face.

“Oh no,” said Discord, waving his left chicken hand.

Twilight sighed in relief.

“It could be anywhere from here to Tartarus or from Canterlot to Texas,” said Discord drawing actual dotted lines through the air connecting points ‘A’ to ‘B’ until the space around him was filled with squiggly lines, letters and numbers.

“Where?” asked Twilight.

“You know Twilight,” said Pinkie smiling, “From sea to shining seeaaaaa…”

Twilight just stared at Pinkie.

“The laaand of the freeeee, and the hoooommmme of theeee Brraavveeeee…”

Twilight shook her head and turned just in time to see Discord put away a baseball cap, a bag of popcorn and small flag with red and white stripes on it.

“So you can’t send them home?” said Twilight.

“I didn’t say that,” said Discord, shaking a giant foam finger at Twilight, “However it would require a smidgen of your help.”

“Here we go,” said Twilight rolling her eyes, “What’s the catch Discord?”

“Well with that attitude maybe we should just drop the whole thing,” said Discord crossing his arms.

Gilligan dropped the piece of lumber he was hauling out of the closet onto the Skipper’s foot.

“Oohhh! Gilligan!!” Yelled the Skipper whacking Gilligan with his hat and hopping on one foot at the same time, “Pick that back up.”

“But Skipper he said-”

“I don’t care what he said Gilligan, get back to work.”

Gilligan picked the wood back up and continued out the door.

Twilight stared after him and said, “Fine Discord, I’ll listen.”

“Perfect,” said Discord brightening, “Well I can find the hole but holding onto it, and patching it up after it was set loose will require a little more power.”

“How much?” said Twilight with a sarcastic expression.

“One second,” said Discord. He took out an abacus and began flipping the beads back and forth until they were moving so fast they began to fly off the wires.

After a few seconds Discord stopped and looked at the mangled abacus in his hands which had four beads still hanging off one wire. Taking out a pair of earmuffs and reading glasses he put them on, tipped the beads into his right paw, counted them and said, “About four princesses.”

Skipper went flying backwards and was pinned against the wall along with Pinkie screaming “Wheeeee!” as Twilight evolved into a Rapidash and yelled at the top of her Royal Canterlot Voice, “WHAT?! YOU JUST EXPECT US TO HAND OVER OUR POWER TO YOU?! ARE YOU CRAZY?!!!”

Discord was hanging onto a barber’s pole in the middle of the room, his body streaming out behind him like a windsock. Gilligan stood outside looking through the window with both hands over his ears and a look of amazement on his face.

“I wish I could do that,” he mouthed to himself since no one could hear anything over Twilight.

Twilight stopped for a breath of air, Discord took one earmuff off and said, “Yes, was there ever any doubt. However I don’t intend to keep your power, I was hoping I could merely borrow it for a little while.”

Discord let go of the earmuff and grabbed back onto the pole as Twilight inhaled deeply, bringing her head back, her front legs off the ground and her mouth wide.

Her front hoofs came down, her neck came forwards and… Nothing came out of her mouth.

“Woohoo,” said a quiet voice from the doorway and everyone turned to see Fluttershy, and three multicolored alicorns standing there.

“What happened?” Asked the Professor, dazed, from a corner of the room where Twilight’s voice had thrown him.

“Princess Celestia used her magic to put a spell of silence on Twilight,” said Fluttershy. Then when she realized everypony was staring at her she hid behind her hair and said quietly, “Oh, I’m sorry were you talking to me?”

“But Princess,” said Twilight, looking at Princess Celestia, “Discord expects us to-”
Celestia raised a hoof and said gently, “Yes, Twilight we heard.”

“You don’t expect us to actually-”

“Twilight you’re forgetting that Discord has reformed,” said Fluttershy, flying over to Discord and patting him on the shoulder.

“Indeed,” said Discord, “Why would I do anything to risk losing the magic of friendship.”

“To get all of our powers and take over Equestria… Again!” Said Twilight, flying into Discords face and pointing her hoof.

“Twilight,” said Cadence putting a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder and bringing her back down to earth, mentally and physically, “Calm down. Princess Celestia isn’t saying we should just trust Discord blindly. However it wouldn’t hurt to trust him a little.”

Twilight glared past Cadence at Discord who grinned and waved.

“Twilight!” said Cadence trying to get her attention. She put her hoof on her chest and drew in a long breath. Then she exhaled and extended her hoof out in front of her, visibly relaxed.

Twilight copied her and said, “Fine. I don’t trust Discord, but I trust you.”

“Oh goodie,” said Discord clapping his hands together, “Umm, I mean shall we get to work? Serious, very serious.”

Twilight gave Cadence a raised eyebrow and Cadence shrugged.

Gilligan came back into the castle, picked up another piece of lumber and began hauling it out of the closet.

Discord rubbed his hands together and said, “I suppose you want me to get everyone together by the boat to prepare to leave?”

Skipper spoke up, “We have to get the boat fixed first.”

“Oh don’t worry about that. I’ll take care of that in a snap,” he said snapping his fingers.

With that Gilligan dropped the second board on Skipper’s foot.

Author's Note:

We do not own any of the rights to anything depicted in this story.
References, quotes, characters, lyrics, etc. all belong to their respective owners.

Comments

[Thoth-Amon]

Well, Gilligan seems to be rather calm, sensible, and organized there.

[Lunar Pitch]

And clumsy