• Published 20th Jan 2018
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Poniocracy Side Stories - sunnypack

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The Story of the Gorlians and Equestria

Chapter ∞: Humans and Gorlians Mix Like Oil and Water

WHAT YOU ARE CURRENTLY VIEWING IS JUST A SCIENTIFIC PROJECTION:

The Gorlians had decided that Equestria was a pretty cool place. In an act of kindness they decided to share their excellent culture and sophistication among the fairly level-headed race. Of course, they would have to pass some tests, but they were trivial in the light of what was to come.

Ponies all around Canterlot stood silently, mouths agape as an enormous spaceship, in an insultingly generic disc-design, descended towards Canterlot castle. Celestia and Luna had quickly formed a response team, but the majority of the team quivered, positioned directly behind the two regal rulers.

Which really annoyed Celestia.

"Luna," she muttered, "I thought you trained these guards to be especially resilient to new situations."

Luna looked a little hurt.

"Dear sister, thy accusations are unwarranted. I have put them through strenuous and rigorous training!"

Celestia lifted an eyebrow.

"Teaching them not to be afraid of spiders?"

"THEY ARE TARTARUS SPAWN AND MUST BE EXTERMINATED!"

Celestia resisted the sudden urge to place her right foreleg's upper appendage across her facial features.

She took a calming breath.

"Ahem, I believe we should greet our new guests and hopefully we will be greeted with open arms."

The Gorlians exited the ship enmass, in highly pressurised suits, for the Gorlian atmosphere was thick and dense and the gravity enormous. Their dense masses caused the ground to rumble as metallic shielded boots cracked the ground. Celestia had to admit, they were an intimidating lot.

Though covered in a thick exoskeleton of a suit, the Gorlians had a very clear visor with tentacled appendages and bulbous heads clearly visible as they glared at the two rulers with seeming malicious intent.

Celestia, though a touch nervous on the inside, exuded calm and authority as she took the initiative.

"Hello and welcome to Equestria!" she greeted warmly.

The silence was palpable, and Celestia's smile faltered under the oppressive disquiet that was gathering slowly.

Eventually, the standoff was broken when one Gorlian signalled to his leader form the ship. He waved excitedly, while the ship's captain lifted a tentacle in apology towards the two rulers as he consulted his captain.

"Get this", the subordinate giggled (which to others sounded like an angry screech). "There was a lone human that was left in cryogenics while all the others escaped! They must have forgotten him, ha!"

The Gorlians all had a chuckle after that (to others, it sounded like the bloodcurdling scream of a dying piglet).

The Gorlian captain turned back to Celestia with a smile on his face (which to others looked like a frown).

Celestia forced her smile a little wider (which to the Gorlians was the equivalent to a frown) and the Gorlians were a little confused moving forward. Had they upset their hosts?

"Die! We are here to conquer and invade!" the captain rasped in a hellish voice.

Luna was quick on the uptake.

"TO THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONAAAAAA!" she screamed her horn lighting up, with a flash, the Gorlians were gone.

"Luna!" Celestia cried. "What was that for?!"

"You heard them, sister! They were threatening us! They were going to attack us!"

Celestia subsided at that. It was funny, she didn't think they were going to do that...

-----

The Gorlians sat on moon rock despondently.

The captain shrugged apologetically to his subordinates.

"Sorry", he coughed meekly. "Forgot to turn my human ringtone off."

SIMULATION ENDED.

Author's Note:

And that was how Equestria was made...

Quick! BACK TO THE STORY!