• Published 1st Jan 2015
  • 2,078 Views, 33 Comments

Vexatious times with Sunset shimmer! - FunFunFUN



Princess-Principle Celestia has made a deal with the Dazzlings! Yay!

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Help my story!!!

Hey guys just want to say something quick and get you people back to reading other amazing stuff....


*Ahem*




CRITICIZE MY WORK ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I want people to point out problems and whatnot but no one has done that yet I know its not perfect.

So help me out, please


please

plx

plz

<3

<3
<3
<3
<3

NOW!!!

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Comments ( 8 )

I like your art :twilightsheepish:
but sometimes when public chapters of your stories, have flaws spelling :applejackunsure:

I like your story I have not missed any chapter but if you have some errors in spelling but in spite of all your story is very good and keeps up:pinkiehappy:

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FINALLY THANK YOU!!!

I was hoping someone would comment on my chapters.
Thanks for the support!!!

More cheesy puns!

Even though I'm not good at criticizing; something I'll like to say that readers do like enjoy lengthly word chapters at 2,000 - 4,000 words (average), 4,000 - 8,000 (above average), and 8,000 - no limit (high). Where readers do like read in the average to above average a lot, making a compelling read for them. I hope that help a bit

6132315 True enough, I really don't have a highly known story to be doing so much once I have enough like then I'll do that but anyway thanks!

there's a lot of tongue-in-cheek humor (though I don't think all of it is on purpose), it runs a little fast and lacks detail - as a result some things don't logic together very well. then spelling/grammar/incorrect words stuff
interesting enough though

I usually can ignore grammer and spelling if the story is compelling enough. Yours is fun and light hearted but not to over the top, which is a good thing. I think you could practice building up suspense or lengthening scenes. The aria in the dark scene could have been drawn out. When rushed it felt like rarity just somehow always knew about her being afraid of the dark. Now if the two had argued, fought about helping with raritys fashion, etc. after awkwardness rarity remembers arias scared face from when the schools power went out during a rally. Then she decides to tease Aria. When the power actually goes out then they get really scared. You could have them hearing noises and creaks. Then build up to them finding her dad.


Only real negative I would say is this chapter. If you want to ask your readers for help or update them on the status of the fic you can post blogs. Posting chapters seems like you're trying to get it on the updated section for a bit. not to mention it really disappoints when I am ready as hell and think you got a new chapter but instead it's basically a blog.

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