• Published 1st Jan 2015
  • 1,114 Views, 65 Comments

She Rocks My World - LightningSword

A pony out on the town takes his friend through an encounter with gangsters, dancers, and the mare of his dreams. His life will never be the same . . .

  • ...

"All this trouble you done caused!"

The fight was getting really serious now. Every table had been broken, chairs and glass bottles that had been used as weapons lay used and broken on the floor, and ponies escaped the burning hotel lobby injured and limping. The fire had engulfed nearly the entire first floor, and the bar brawl had dispersed at last. Saving one's own life was now more important than settling some foalish vendetta.

Nocturne pushed aside the broken remnants of chairs and tables, and saw that he was alone in the burning building. The scene had escalated in a big hurry, and now whether he'd leave alive was startlingly unclear. He just hoped Spike had made it out all right. And he'd hoped his beautiful pink-maned angel had gotten out safely. As bad as this was, the fire was only a short-term escape; she still had to deal with the long term.

“Damn it, move!” Nocturne yelled as he struggled to push aside an upturned table. He was close to the emergency fire exit, but as he approached it, he saw something out of the corner of his eye. He turned, and in the stairwell, he saw him standing there, fedora and shades accentuating his smart black suit. He was tall, thin and serpentine, with a horse head and a myriad of different animals making up the rest of his body. He reached up with his talon and deftly pulled the shades off, a smug look plastered all over his features.

“Pretty cute in there,” he said with a wispy, almost hoarse voice, “And the fire was a nice touch.”

Nocturne glared at him. There was no doubt in his mind; this was the boss his Pegasus love had talked about. He was the one Shades and his gang feared. He ran the Waterhorse Hotel, the underground of crime in Manehattan, and the rest of the city with it.

“I know who you are,” Nocturne growled, staring daggers at the criminal. It was true. This was 'Big D'.

Big D smiled and pointed a furry finger gun-style, his smug grin unfaltering. “Bing-bang,” he chuckled, “Ahh, I knew that yellow dame was too much trouble. As much as I love a good fire, it's not good for business. Far as I'm concerned, she's your headache now.”

Confusion didn't stop Nocturne from scowling, “You're just letting her leave? Not something I'd expect you to do.”

Big D's grin went from arrogant to malicious, “Exactly. It's no fun to be predictable.” He chuckled again and rolled his eyes, “I'm gonna find a better place to watch the fireworks. Later.” He turned back, held up his paw in a lazy wave, and vanished in the blink of an eye.

Nocturne's look of contempt remained, but the cracking of burning wood urged him out the emergency door. He'd better be glad he left when he did, Nocturne thought, not just because of Big D's reputation or his part in the lovely Pegasus' misery, but from something just as disappointing.

That was the worst Marlon Bronco impression I've ever heard in my life!

The four stallions who'd served as Nocturne's backup dancers all converged in the front parking lot, scratching their heads in confusion.

“What was that all about?” the white Unicorn asked, “Even my wife knows that I don't like to dance.”

“I dunno, I kind of liked it,” the orange Pegasus shrugged, “Up until the bar fight and the fire, it was kinda fun.”

The brown Earth pony put a pensive hoof to his chin, “I don't even know how to dance. I never had time to learn.”

“Funny how it just kinda came together, though!” the orange Earth pony grinned, “I mean, what are the odds, right? Just being in the right place, moving in the right way, all at the right time? It's spooky!”

There was a brief pause in which the stallions exchanged awkward looks. Finally, a crumbling part of the roof of the hotel was the signal that their time here was now spent.

And the brown Earth pony summed it up well in one simple phrase: “Let's get the heck out of here.”


She called out to him from across the back parking lot; as soon as she'd seen him safely escape the burning building, she'd felt her heart overflow with joy. She'd only known him for a few hours, and he'd already been the best thing that had happened to her in a long time.

Nocturne saw her from all that distance away, and looked as elated to see her as she was to see him. They galloped toward each other, seeing each other's forms grow with the lessening distance, until they were finally together again.

“Oh, thank Celestia, you're all right!” Nocturne cried as they embraced. Feeling their warm fur pressed against each other was worth it. All the confrontations and the intimidation, all the violence and the turbulence, all the risks and close calls: just that moment was worth every second of it.

Once they parted, the mare voiced her concerns, “Did everypony else make it out?”

“I'm pretty sure I was the last one out,” Nocturne replied reassuringly, then glanced at the back of the burning building, “Funny . . . I never thought a place called 'the Waterhorse' would burn so quickly.”

The mare couldn't help but smile as she looked up into his eyes, a warm blush tinging her delicate face. Nocturne's face reddened as well, and from that moment, there was no further need for words. The two closed in on each other again, and shared a long, passionate kiss. She wrapped her front legs around him, and he ran a hoof through her long pink mane. The rarest love, they were sure they'd found—the one like him to call hers, and it was perfectly mutual.

“Hey, Nocturne, come on!”

The voice was borne in on the rumble of an engine, and Nocturne and his love broke their embrace and turned toward it. Spike had rolled up into the parking lot in their classic convertible, the engine roaring and ready to take them all out of this crazy scene.

“Come on, man, get in!” Spike yelled again, and the two Pegasi ran toward the car and jumped in, Nocturne riding shotgun and the mare jumping into the back. “Let's go, let's go!” Spike urged, “Jeez, we wouldn't be in this messed-up situation without all the trouble this mare just caused!”

“What?!” Nocturne argued, “What has she done?! If anything, blame my raging hormones!”

“Whatever, dude, just buckle up and hang on!”

“Um, excuse me?” the mare spoke up tentatively, “Please don't think I'm being mean or ungrateful or anything, but . . . . why is the baby dragon driving the car?”

Spike scoffed as he gunned the engine, “Lady, you just saw a guy bring out four stallions out of the blue and do a dance routine in perfect sync without rehearsing! Don't question it!”

Nocturne chuckled and shook his head as he held onto his hat, “Man, what a night!”

Author's Note:

Thanks for reading, everyone! Shamone!

Comments ( 21 )

5571919 HEE-HEE!

Whose bad!!!?!??!?

Micheal Jackson!

Loved that guy's music, and now he is in a story.

Awesome :)

5622409 Well, he's not in the story himself, but it is an obvious homage to him. Glad to see a great appreciation for the King. Thanks for reading, and thanks for the favorite! :pinkiehappy:

5630321 I understand. The music video doesn't make a lot of sense, either. :twilightsheepish: But it's a fun video, and I had fun making a pony homage to it. :twilightsmile:

Wow. This was a really enjoyable read. As a Michael Jackson fan myself, it was really fun seeing all these pop culture references to his songs. Also I never would've guessed that there would be a dance off featuring Shining Armor, Flash Sentry, Doctor Whooves, and Cheese Sandwich. That was just insane but still enjoyable. Great job, man.

5644979 Thanks! Nice to know a fellow MJ fan. And thanks for the fave! :pinkiehappy:

Mm... Not bad for an OC fic. It seems like 90% of OC stories nowadays involve hideous Mary Sue's, and you did a decent job of avoiding that with Nocturne. Still, every fic has a few little "OP OC" moments, and this story wasn't without them.

Nocturne was able to win over a troubled mare's heart, defeat a gang, and captivate an entire audience, and it all happened a little too easily. Since this story isn't significantly long, his flawless performance over the span of the story makes him out to be a flawless character in general, which is a big red flag. You managed to dilute the effects of this by making him a pretty likeable character, but it still remains that he seems a bit too good to be true. Other things like bat wings, advanced combat skills, and the ability to summon canon ponies at will to use them for his own devices just give him too much of an edge.

Aside from a few character flaws (or rather the lack thereof), it was a pretty enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing it with me. :twilightsmile:

5676253 . . . . . . . . . . . So did that make Michael Jackson an OP Mary Sue, too? :rainbowlaugh: :trollestia:

But seriously, most of that stuff wasn't really "perfection", per se. Just a humorous homage to the source material. Thanks for reading, and thanks for the favorite, too! :pinkiehappy:

5678269 Thanks for reading. Glad you liked it! And thanks for the fave! :pinkiehappy:

5696215 :eeyup:

You can actually thank my buddy Spirit Shift for that one. I don't know where he got it, but I borrowed it from him. :trollestia:

So, I've finished reading. My solemn verdict... Oh, who am I kidding? I'm not solemn, and it gets a big, fat, MJ like!

6734563 Anytime, buddy. Anytime.

7505689 It's a reference to Michael Jackson's song "P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)". In this case, P.Y.M. stands for "Pretty Young Mare". :twilightsmile:

"It's no fun being predictable."
That's a good line mind if I use it?

Understandable. If that's what you took from it, that's okay.

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