Twilight's Findings
“Okay! Okay, don’t panic!” Twilight announced, sweeping her gaze around the dank, dark forbidding Everfree forest in which she, Applejack, Granny Smith, and Archer remained. “It’s just a dank, dark forbidding forest,” Twilight champed out nervously, “How much trouble could a filly get into?” The frazzled purple unicorn busily zipped to and fro, checking under bushes, and behind trees, and under rocks, but there was no Licky Loo to be found.
“Beggin’ your pardon, Twilight,” Applejack interrupted her frantic search, pulling Twilight up straight and poking her in the chest with a no-nonsense expression. “Ah believe you were going to explain why we should care about the affairs of a filly eatin’ monster in any way besides how to get it twelve feet under and how fast to get it there?”
“Which way did she go??” Twilight shouted at Applejack, looming at her urgently.
“We’ll track her down later,” Applejack responded irritably, “I need ya to explain. Now.”
“She could be in terrible danger!” Twilight said in a fuss, “We can’t just sit here idly while a filly is in trouble! Maybe she followed the river! Maybe she ran back up the path. Ohh how could this–” Applejack clapped her hooves on Twilight’s shoulders, holding the unicorn steady. Her firm physical touch bore just a hint of a threat to it as she looked the unicorn eye to eye.
“Twilight, ah just asked you to explain.”
“I-I will, just–”
“No Twilight,” Applejack said gravely. “If you were enchanted by a monster to protect it at all costs, then you wouldn’t explain. If you ain’t enchanted, then you’re Twilight bucking Sparkle, an’ you wouldn’t pass up a chance to explain anything. So which is it, friend?”
Twilight blinked three times before realizing just what Applejack was getting at. She was breathing quickly and her heart was beating fast, and she was genuinely worried for Licky. How much of that was natural and how much of it was... designed? The fillies didn’t know about it of course; that would ruin the effect, but maybe it was just in their nature?
(”These creatures are adorable!”)
“Okay,” Twilight said, taking a deep breath. “Alright, I’ll explain.”
She backed up to separate from Applejack who let her go reluctantly, and she added with a wry grin, “But remember, you asked for it!”
“Make it quick, Twilight” Applejack said in response, not smiling at all.
Twilight’s grin faltered. She glanced down at Archer who was currently hiding under her legs, wings tight against her little blue body. The two of them were still sopping wet from the river. Twilight looked at Granny, who was watching both her and Applejack in a steady stare, and Applejack who... was absolutely right. “Alright, I’ll try,” Twilight sighed, head drooping.
“Scootaloo is, I think,” Twilight began less than confidently, “Some kind of evolutionary throwback. She had at one point, I suspect, perfectly normal pony parents, and they ...likely abandoned her when the mutation that unlocked her ancient nature rendered her so dramatically different from a normal infant. Such an occurrence is exceedingly rare, but it is possible! She claims she had no parents, but she may simply not remember them, however far back her memories go. She is not a parasprite, and she is a real pony in every sense of the word.”
Twilight paused, looking at Applejack pensively. “How much do you know about prehistoric pony history?” Twilight implored of the orange pony.
Applejack seemed taken aback at that, either because she didn’t know, or because she wasn’t used to Twilight doing anything but talk at other ponies. Twilight really was that bad at interacting with other ponies and she knew it, but she made a mental note to work on fixing that soon as possible. It went off into the pile with all the dozens of identical mental notes before it.
“I don’t rightly know, Twilight,” Applejack said uncertainly, “Ah had schoolin’ but ah weren’t payin’ much attention to history. You mean like the three tribes and such?”
Twilight shook her head, “No, I mean the evolutionary history of ponies, so a lot longer ago than even that. We don’t have written records of course, as ponies and pre-pony ancestors lacked the harmonic awareness necessary to form civilization, but there are many fossil records especially from the Badlands which can piece together a basic timeline of how ponies came to be.”
“Okay fine,” Applejack said, “And your point is?”
“Well, there’s a theory... not well substantiated of course... considered a bit of a crackpot theory despite some compelling arguments, because there just are too many gaps in the fossil record to make strong conclusions. Many generations of ponies who produced no fossils at all, with each generation much different from the last.”
Applejack sighed.
“A-and the theory is that um...” Twilight hated to do this but she just couldn’t expect them to believe her if she just blurted it out. They would have to understand themselves if they were going to believe her. “You know how parasprites come in so many bright colors?” she asked looking at Applejack pleadingly.
“Sure as rain, Twilight,” Applejack answered placatingly, “But what are you getting at?”
“Parasprites are very rudimentary organisms,” Twilight explained, “With a basic grasp of the aero, but mostly they just specialize in anima, reproducing as fast as possible in order to escape threats by out-breeding them. They have a similar diet to ponykind, certain botched enchantments nonwithstanding, which makes them a serious threat to any towns they invade. They have a certain... aesthetic appeal to ponies, not shared by say, gryphons or diamond dogs. And they come in many bright colors, in an identical spectrum to that which you would find in a pony.”
“Yep, that’s why they are such a menace,” Applejack stated. “Because they done change themselves to be all cute and stuff to keep ponies from gettin’ suspicious until it’s too late.” Applejack glared down at Archer adding, “Just like that thing under your hooves there!”
“Well that’s the thing though!” Twilight said shifting her hooves to hide Archer nervously, “Evolutionary record and genetic analysis have indicated that parasprites have changed very little in evolutionary history. Fitting their niche perfectly, they have no reason to change their own natures. It’s not a widely known fact outside of scholarly circles. I didn’t even know they existed! But the general consensus is that parasprites are a very, very old kind, who haven’t changed for well... longer than ponies have been around!”
“Ain’t no way no pony’s gonna change to likin’ parasprites,” Granny cut in. “That’s just foolery! Why would ponies become susceptible to parasprites, if the parasprites weren’t the ones doin’ it?”
“They wouldn’t!” Twilight exclaimed. “That’s why this theory is so compelling, despite lack of evidence backing it up. Of course ponies wouldn’t change to become similar to parasprites, because the theory is that ponies have been similar to parasprites all along!”
“That still don’t add up. Why were they similar in the first place then?” Applejack said skeptically.
“That’s what I believe in Archer here, and in Scootaloo lies the answer,” Twilight said earnestly. “You think I was protecting her because I was enchanted? I don’t need to be enchanted to want to protect such valuable discoveries to the scientific community!”
“What sort of discovery are these things, Twilight?” Applejack asked agitatedly. “What are you getting at?”
Twilight scrunched her muzzle up indecisively, then just cast her dice and said it, “The theory originally proposed by professor Cracked Pot in VXT is that the modern pony and the parasprite share a common ancestor.”
Applejack just... sort of slowly leered back from Twilight, her lip pulling into a curl before she exclaimed, “How the hay would that happen? You’re sayin’ some ancient pony and a parasprite did the dirty? How would that even... that don’t make sense!”
Twilight sighed, closing her eyes wearily. “It’s not like that,” she explained, “Imagine if two groups of parasprites became isolated from one another, and only one of the groups found harmony. The others remained normal parasprites. Harmony gave the isolated group the earth, making it advantageous to have legs, so if any happened to be spat out with legs or leg-like protrusions, they survived better. Similarly Harmony gave them access to the aether and the cosmo, while hindering their tendancy to destroy others to survive. Not all parasprites, just this one specific group!”
Applejack adjusted her hat, saying a bit confusedly, “So you’re sayin’ that Scootaloo and Archer here are some kinda highly evolved parasprite?”
“No,” Twilight shook her head, “I’m saying that all of us are highly evolved parasprites!”
Granny Smith collapsed to the ground laughing her head off.
Everypony turned to Granny, with looks of confusion for various reasons at her belly laughs and bony legs wiggling up in the air. “Applejack!” she crowed eventually, “Dearest daughter you gotta teach your friend Twilight about a little thing between her legs, because ah don’t think she knows what it’s fer!” and she was laughing again. Twilight’s ears went flat as her facial expression.
Applejack snorted at it herself, and turned to Twilight holding back a giggle saying, “Granny has a point Twilight. Ain’t you ever heard about the birds and the uh” Applejack didn’t finish that sentence then, putting a hoof under her chin thoughtfully. Well good, it’s time somebody besides Twilight Sparkle had to think for once in their life.
“It is well known,” Twilight grumbled, “That vaginal birth is a relatively, in an evolutionary sense meaning a very very long time, recent phenomenon. There are even existing fragments of pony artifacts recovered, for ancient festivals in times of plenty dedicated to some kind of fertility goddess called Wishing Star that directly state that ponies neither carry a foal nor give birth to it. And as you just pointed out to yourself, bees reproduce by mouth, as do many forms of fish, and several smaller magical amphibians, some of which you may have already encountered in the Everfree.”
“It’s laughable to think that a complex organism like a pony could reproduce as easily as those lesser animals,” Twilight added contrarily, “But these amazing creatures seem to have done just that. Something of which no record exists, meaning that it can only occur in the places where we have no fossil record. And you almost ruined perfectly good evidence that could explain how under the Sun and Moon a pony could have developed from a parasprite. Something buried in the pony nature that has never emerged until today.”
Twilight rolled her eyes, concluding in acerbic tone, “Considering his sense of humor I wouldn’t be surprised if Discord was the one who gave ponies their reproductive organs, just for his own amusement. The most reliable records of non-virginal vaginal birth exist only after the period of his reign, after all. But then again the most reliable records of anything at all exist only after the period of his reign, so perhaps I’m just falsely accusing the rat bastard of messing with pony biology.”
Twilight felt like she was finally getting through to them. Granny had stopped laughing and was looking at Twilight with concern, and Applejack was looking at her with wide-eyed narrow-pupilled bugged out (no pun intended) eyes saying, “Oh Celery stalks, you’re serious,” in the most dumbfounded voice she could have said it in.
“It makes sense, though, doesn’t it?” Twilight said. “You’ve seen the anatomical similarities in infant foals. Fetuses don’t even grow their lower body until late in gestational development.”
“It makes sense Twilight,” Applejack said in a defensive tone, “Just like any of them crackpot theories out there. You don’t really–”
“I have checked and double checked, and exhaustively expended my library’s admittedly limited collection of ponypology journals,” Twilight countered angrily, “And I can assure you that I’m not just pulling this out of my very existent ass. If it sounds like I am, that’s because you asked for the executive summary, and a rigorous proof would require a lengthy dissertation, reviewed by my scholarly peers and, with any luck, approved, revolutionizing our understanding of the mysterious inception of ponykind, and that is why you can’t harm Archer here, or anypony like her, because she is the evidence I need to prove this! A genuine proto-pony! A pre-pony creature that fills the severe gap in the fossil records. She’s the missing link! You’re trying to kill the missing link!!”
Twilight lit up her horn, and Applejack sank firmly to the ground saying, “Now Twilight, don’t do anything stupid now,” in an admittedly worried tone. But Twilight wasn’t stupid. She had this all under control!
But then, wait why was Archer crying now?
Twilight’s horn flickered and died, and she looked down to see Archer not even trying to hide underneath her anymore, just sitting on the river bank and attempting, but failing to contain bitter sobs coming up in her chest. “Archer, what’s wrong??” she exclaimed aghast.
“N-nothing Miss Twilight,” Archer managed to say, “I-it’s silly I’m sor...sorry...”
Twilight lowered, gathering her legs under her, putting one against Archer’s chest as gently as she could manage considering her already frayed nerves. “Please Archer,” she said, “Why are you crying? I’m trying to protect you! Applejack doesn’t hate you, she’ll see reason!”
“It’s just...” Archer seemed to have as much trouble putting it to words as saying the words. “I thought you were protecting me because... I, I never had a... I mean you were kind of acting like a mom would and I thought... I just for a minute I though... you... I mean it’s silly I really do want you to prove it... I just thought you.....”
“I’m sorry I almost ruined your evidence,” Archer hissed out in a tight throated whisper.
To say Twilight just wanted to hug the filly until there was no tomorrow was an understatement. Was this natural attraction though, or just part of the manipulation? Was there any manipulation? She had to think clearly if Twilight didn’t want to make a horrible mistake. After what she’d seen these fillies do, she just couldn’t tell herself that what she was doing out of affection was any more of a mistake than what Pinkie was doing. It was madness to kill a filly, pony, or even a creature, based on something it never did, but was it sane to love such a thing? Was there some more moderate action Twilight should be taking that she couldn’t see because of what she was feeling right now?
It made it worse that Archer was trying so hard to not manipulate her. The filly could barely keep her composure and yet she was still trying to do it. It was worse because that kind of compassion made Twilight’s heart ache even more than the thought of her suffering. Was it compassion and consideration holding back Archer’s cries, or was it just a staged mimickry of compassion designed to delude ponies into trusting, and loving such a thing?
If Archer was a normal filly, she’d be breaking down from how close she came to death just now, from how she was manipulated into killing herself. A normal filly who was homeless and alone for so long would have an extreme reaction to the slightest sign of affection from an older pony. Twilight had been displaying those signs in spades, not considering the consequences of doing what just came naturally, so it was understandable if Archer had latched onto the concept of her as a parental figure. And Twilight had just... And then Twilight had gone and said... A-and...
To say Applejack was feeling pretty terrible right now would be an understatement. But that was nothing compared to what she felt next. She had to turn her hat down and look away when her bookish friend went and hugged Archer like there weren’t no tomorrow. It just hurt too much to see that happening. Why did she always have to choose? Either one friend was betraying her, or another was, and what Applejack could see now with her own two eyes made her feel like she’d gotten dangerously close to the wrong side.
They were parasprites. It was so easy: they danced right along to the parasprite song, hopping after Pinkie Pie like the mindless creatures they should have been. They looked like cute little fillies but they just looked that way and underneath they were the devoured remains of Archer and Scootaloo, and... almost Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom. If Apple Bloom hadn’t put two and two together and defended herself she might have been... it had been so easy. So easy to just watch those things obediently drowning themselves just like parasprites, and then Twilight had to go and show up.
Her librarian friend was acting so weird, but Twilight was acting like a pony who had been put through the ringer lately, not like a pony who had been hypnotized or enchanted. And then, when Twilight pulled the first one out of the river, it... it just came to life, coughing and choking and crying and hiding and talking just like a– just like a real filly. And while that little filly went and drowned herself, Applejack had stared at it like it was a thing.
“Ah’m so sorry, Twilight,” Granny Smith said beside the stony faced Applejack, walking slowly up to where Twilight was huddled with Archer in a tight embrace, walking over to where Applejack could only hear what was going on, because she was afraid to look and see it.
“We shoulda known somethin’ was up,” Granny continued. “Ah remember when Pinkie was just a young’n comin’ into town and makin’ so many waves. She turned the town upside down with her first shindig. She was always doin’ something crazy or another. Ah shoulda known she was just bein’ Pinkie again.”
There was a long pause full of wordless vocalizations from the filly Applejack would rather deny the existence of, when Granny added in a hollow voice, “Ah would never’a thought she was crazy enough to bring a pony to harm.”
Applejack tried to look at Twilight but just ended up looking down at the ground. “What’re we gonna do, Twilight?” she asked, torn in more ways than she could think of. “Ah cain’t believe Pinkie would... she cain’t be that bad. There’s gotta be some kind of reason. She was so angry an’ scared. Pinkie ain’t a killer she’s like family to us. She’d never... but then why did she?” It was so hard to look Twilight in the eyes, but Applejack managed because she had to know. “How are we gonna bring her back, Twilight? How are we gonna fix this?”
“I’m sorry Applejack,” Twilight said looking sorrowfully back at her. “I can’t... I don’t always have the solution to everything. There’s so much I could do, I haven’t had time. If I could find something about this, some source of where Pinkie Pie learned what she did, then I could debunk it for her... she’s just such a mysterious pony sometimes for how she knows what she knows.”
Twilight gave a hollow laugh and said, “Maybe I should check the bookshelves for more secret compartments.” Applejack just tilted her head at that, but her curiosity went unanswered.
“Well is there anythin’ we can do for you then?” Granny asked hopefully. “Since you’re gonna be the good mare this time around.”
“I’m not a—there are no good mares and bad mares!” Twilight insisted, “I’m sure this is all just some sort of huge misunderstanding and when we work it out we’ll all be best friends again.”
“That’d be real nice, Twilight,” Applejack said admiringly, looking down at her scuffing hoof, “So, what do we–”
“What we need to do now,” Twilight interrupted, “Is protect these fillies. Not,” she emphasized tightening her grip on Archer, “Just because they are valuable evidence to the scientific community, but because they are Archer, and Scootaloo, and any others, wonderful little ponies who make all our lives a better place, who deserve to live just as much as any other pony, and who need our help.”
“If we can get these fillies to safety, and avoid any rash actions with permanent consequences,” Twilight continued, “Then that might give me enough time to find a solution to all our problems. If I can just get Pinkie to tell me where she got her crazy ideas, then it should be easy to show her how it doesn’t apply or that she’s getting all upset over what amounts to an old mare’s tale.”
Twilight’s uncertain pause at saying that particular phrase gave Applejack enough confidence to look at her again, that poor bedraggled mess of a unicorn who ain’t even got a chance to shake off all that mud and river water. Made it hard to tell where Twilight ended and Archer began. Which, despite her friend’s well reasoned argument, still made Applejack feel suspicious down in her gut.
“Alright, ah’ll do what you say,” she said reservedly, “But first ah want to see you lift your tail for me.” Twilight looked at her in astonishment.
Oh Celestia, that sounded, that was what you said when you wanted to—Applejack’s face flushed and she added hastily, “J-just to verify that you ain’t a parasprite an’ all ya know, the third sign.”
“O-oh, yes,” Twilight said nervously, “Of course that’s what you meant. Excuse me a moment, Archer,” she said setting the filly down on her own hooves. Archer started shaking off right away. She seemed confused but certainly not as upset as she had been a minute ago. With her out of the way, Twilight turned around agreeably and
...
Yup, definitely not a parasprite.
“Okay fine, Twilight,” Applejack said, a little too eager to get Twilight to put her tail down, “What do you need me to do?”
“Well first off,” Twilight said snarkily lowering her tail and turning back to face Applejack with a disapproving expression, “It would be nice if you fixed whatever you did to Rainbow Dash.”
“Heh heh,” Applejack said turning a hoof nervously, “Oh that.”
“Did you really have to disable her like that?”
“Ah thought she was enchanted!” Applejack countered, “Besides it didn’t hurt her none!”
“Whatever,” Twilight said putting a hoof to her forehead. “Just, undo whatever you did, and document it so that I can refer to it in case of future emergency.”
“Well I cain’t undo it,” Applejack admitted, which caused Twilight’s eyes to bug out, but before the unicorn could explode Applejack added hastily, “B-but ah know who can! Ah just learned how to knock ‘em out, not get ‘em back in place. A professional can fix her right up though.”
Twilight looked at her querulously, “So... the hospital?”
“What, no!” Applejack exclaimed. “She ain’t hurt ah just meant like a professional masseuse.”
“A masseuse.”
Applejack nodded.
“She just needs a massage.”
“That’s about right,” Applejack said agreeably.
Twilight went and facehoofed again groaning, “Rainbow Dash is not going to like that.”
Applejack imagined Rainbow trying to escape the spa twins, smirked slightly and said, “Ah don’t think she’s in a real position to complain though.”
“Alright, that’s going to take more time than I thought,” Twilight said, “So Rainbow Dash can wait for now. Our top priority is finding the third filly, before something out here makes a meal out of her.”
“Uh, no offense Twilight but why wouldn’t she run back to town?” Applejack asked uncertainly. That’s why the flower trio went back after all, to head the fillysprite off at the pass so to speak. They were gonna be peeved if she went in another direction and made them wait for nothing, not that anything didn’t peeve those three.
“She... it’s...” Twilight sighed frustratedly. “It’s hard to explain, but she is what you might call severely autistic. I don’t know if she understands that the town is a safe place to run to.”
“Is it a safe place to run to?” Archer piped up to Twilight, giving her a frightened yet jaded look.
Twilight smiled grimly down at Archer and said, “Compared to the Everfree, yes. A lone foal won’t last long out here, certainly not after night falls.”
“Why’s she all wrong in the head, Twilight?” Applejack asked.
“She’s not exactly wrong in the head, Applejack,” Twilight said, “She just... she’s what you would think of as a newborn. She’s very limited in her ability to separate the gestalt.”
“Separate the what?”
“...separate what she perceives into discernible objects,” Twilight summarized inaccurately, grumbling. “She can’t speak either. She might understand words, but her reaction to them is certainly not predictable.”
“Well alright, Twilight,” Applejack said uncertainly, “Let’s get on after her then, before she gets any further lost.” Applejack then hopped down to the riverbank, walking along it to where the filly had darted away when the music died, giggling so oddly. Giving Twilight enough space to shake off herself, the others followed along behind Applejack with varying degrees of uncertainty.
Then Applejack lifted a hoof and pointed with a triumphant, “Aha!” at the place where the riverbank got kicked up from the filly running up onto land. “She left a trail wide as an ursa,” Applejack explained, following it up and into where the filly had crashed heedlessly through the bushes.
It took some time to follow the filly’s rather meandering course, from bushes to old dead logs to bug’s nests to a colony of some kind of three eyed mutated frogs, and unfortunately that time gave Applejack the chance to ruminate.
“So she’s a ...newborn?” Applejack asked as she tracked along, trying to wrap her head around what Twilight was saying here.
“Yes,” Twilight answered readily, “She was born early this morning.”
Applejack furrowed her brow, “So wait, they are converting fillies into them?” she said in alarm.
“No, no, no, no, no,” Twilight said consolingly, “They give birth to totally new ones, whenever they’ve eaten enough.”
Applejack looked at Archer in something of a new light, saying, “You gave birth this morning?”
Archer looked up and opened her mouth, then closed it again, looking down in thought, then looked up and said, “No, but sort of yes.”
“Bee didn’t mean to, by the way,” Archer said enigmatically aside to Twilight, who equally enigmatically seemed to understand. “I remember she was excited because she never got to eat much before, and she just wasn’t thinking about what would happen, only that she was safe from the storm. Throwing up totally surprised her because she forgot it was a thing that happens. It’s pretty scary your first time.”
“What are you goin’ on about?” Applejack asked Archer distractedly.
“Oh, of course!” Twilight exclaimed over any reply Archer would have made, “I forgot to tell you the reason for the myth that they devoured fillies. You see they don’t devour fillies at all, but they have the ability to reverse the birthing process by um... devouring each other. But non-destructively! It’s all very fascinating.”
“I took Bee inside,” Archer explained, “I–I mean I ‘ate’ her, and before that she threw up Licky, so she was the one who did birth, even though she’s me now. I don’t know if that means I did it or not.”
Applejack was starting to get a headache from trying to tell who did what where with the story these two were telling. So she just turned away and said, “...ah think the filly went left here,” at some broken twigs, and continued to press on, around thick gnarled trees and even once down a short cliff the filly had leapt off of.
Applejack finally lost the trail once they reached a clearing, walking into it and wrinkling her nose unhappily. “Aw shucks,” she said, “Looks like this filly was playin’ around here for a while. All the grass is tramped down, an’ her scent is everywhere. She was just here; you sure you can’t call her, Twilight?”
Twilight shook her head. “They don’t respond to names until having been born for at least a year.”
“Too bad we don’t have Pinkie’s song to lure her out,” Granny lamented, walking the edge of the clearing looking for some sign of her or movement. Though movement could be a nest of scrog squirrels just as well as it could be a lost little filly.
“Maybe I could try singing it?” Archer suggested uncertainly.
“If you could just sing it, then why would Pinkie need to gather all those instruments?” Twilight spoke out irritably, looking worriedly at the angle of the sun. They were just at the very border of the forest so it should be safe but...
“Well but, um, Pinkie isn’t um... special like I am,” Archer said, “I don’t know if normal ponies can do the thing.”
“The thing?” Applejack prompted looking sideways at the filly warily.
“Yeah, I mean,” Archer said, and then whistled, loud and high. Then said, “That thing.”
“Lots of ponies can whistle, Archer,” Applejack said pointing at Granny who agreeably whistled out a little sweet bird song melody.
“It’s not exactly whistling,” Archer said uncertainly, “It’s um... singing with one... thing we all um.... Different from my voice. But Pinkie’s instruments... pile sounded sort of like there was a fillysprite singing, in the music. I could try to sing that, I mean. What I heard.”
Twilight practically bowled Applejack over to get in Archer’s face saying excitedly, “I don’t care if it works or not this I have got to hear!” Applejack yanked Twilight away, and Twilight drew up a hoof to her chest blushing abruptly, saying, “Oh, sorry I just... go ahead Archer try and call your friend.”
So everypony got real quiet and Archer tried out her thing, and she was right it wasn’t exactly whistling. It was more of a whiney chirping sound really, but longer and more sonorous. It had sort of a hypnotic quality to it, reminded Applejack of those warm summer nights where the frogs and the crickets sung their lullaby for you. Twilight seemed astounded that that noise was coming out of Archer’s throat, but golly if that wasn’t natural then what about all the other stuff that supposedly had to do with that little blue pony’s maw? Applejack didn’t find it too freaky at any rate, and the thought of a cricket who was smart enough to perform on demand was more heartwarming than it was disturbing. And brought to mind time, and a square for some odd reason.
The bushes rustled as something approached, and what fluttered out of it was the all orange filly they sought, muddy and filthy from the chest down where she’d been waterlogged and with grass stains all over her coat, her bountiful wavy mane all stuck full of twigs. She would be a miserable sight if she didn’t have such a giddy mild grin on her face, hopping right up to Archer, who stopped her song once the filly reached her, and nuzzled her nose in happy relief.
Before they could all rejoice though, something else approached. As eagerly as the orange filly had, an honest to gosh, cute little ball of doom parasprite was busily fluttering down toward Archer from above, dark purple with bright green segmented eyes. Applejack didn’t know what to do, staying rooted on the spot. They couldn’t lead that thing to town, but being fast enough to catch one of those things was... difficult enough, you’d wait for Pinkie Pie to come with her one pony band instead. Archer wasn’t nearly as worried though, and she seemed even happier when she saw the thing fluttering up to her all friendly-like. Then Archer went and snapped it right out of the air.
Well, now Applejack was rooted on the spot for an entirely different reason.
Archer swallowed with a satisfied smile. “It worked, everypony! Licky is here!” she called out then, looking around at the other three brightly. Her ears twitched down a bit at their expressions. “...what?” she said self consciously.
Twilight was one to speak before regaining her own wits, saying “D-did did you just eat that?”
“What?” Archer asserted to her with a nervous irritation. “Those things are good!”
“They’re hard to find too,” Archer added with a cute little frown of disappointment. The other filly reared up and put her hooves over Archer’s back, rocking back and forth and flittering her little wings in the air, giggling softly. Archer blushed, seemed embarassed at being used as an impromptu saw horse more than the fact that she just ate a bucking parasprite.
“How many kinds of creature do you eat?” Twilight asked uneasily.
“That’s not a,” Archer said in objection, but then stopped and thought about it. “I guess those are creatures,” she said bemusedly. “I just thought they were... I mean they’re like big flying gumballs.” She started to relax, but then tensed up looking at them all worriedly and hastily said, “Just those!”
“Just those what?” Twilight prompted.
“I only ever eat those,” Archer said, “A-and nothing else that could be a creature unless wait what about eggs?”
“Eggs are unfertilized,” Twilight said informatively, “And they don’t move on their own, so no. Those are not creatures.”
“What about clover?” Archer asked then, butting Licky off her back and pulling her into an idle hug.
Twilight blinked, saying, “What about clover?”
“Well, I mean not white clover, but red clover moves on its own,” Archer said. “Every time it shoots seeds all over the place.”
“That’s not–” Twilight grimaced trying to pull out the words. Applejack had to guess Twilight couldn’t find easy enough words for a filly to grasp, nor likely for a grown mare to grasp neither. Applejack jumped in therefore, before Twilight burst a blood vessel.
“Creatures have eyeballs, Archer,” Applejack explained. “Anything with an eyeball, or two, or more, is a creature.”
“What about–”
“And anything that used to have an eyeball, too,” Applejack added definitely.
“But the eyeballs are the best part!” Archer complained.
There was an uncomfortable silence.
“If yer not a foal eatin’ monster,” Granny piped up, jabbing Archer with her walking cane that she got from... somewhere, “Then wha do ye wanna eat mah eyeballs?”
“No, I don’t want to eat your eyeballs!” Archer exclaimed clutching Licky defensively, “Just the flying gumball things!”
“Parasprites,” Twilight muttered, her face buried in her hooves.
“Those are parasprites?” Archer said surprisedly.
“Where were you when the parasprites attacked?!” Applejack demanded, “Don’t tell me you didn’t notice!”
“There was a field trip that day!” Archer protested.
“How do you know mah eyeballs are any different?” Granny continued, “If’n you ain’t never ate one before!”
“I don’t... what?” Archer squeaked totally nonplussed.
“How did you remain hidden before this?” Twilight shouted throwing her hooves down in sheer frustration. “You vomit conspicuously at the drop of a hat, you eat parasprites right out of the air, you have no evident family, no social skills, you have no visible genitals, you sound like a mosquito crossed with a cricket, how has nopony noticed this before?”
Archer was too self conscious at this point to do anything besides whimper.
“Look–” Twilight sighed fitfully. “I don’t think you’re a bad pony. In fact you’ve given me reason to think that if you were a bad pony, then Ponyville would be in considerably more trouble than it is now. You just don’t... make any sense whatsoever. I need to get you both to the library where I can protect you, and then I can maybe try to figure out what on earth is going on. So let’s get out of this stupid forest so we can...”
Everypony’s head turned to the other side of the clearing.
“I hope I’m the only one who hears that,” Twilight said anxiously.
“Anypony got a pot and kettle?” Granny asked with the apprehension that showed she knew everypony most certainly did not.
“Get the foals, Granny,” Applejack said facing the foul structures head-on, her bravado a poor shell for her unease and dread. “We’ll make a hole for ya.”
“Soon as I run...” Granny whispered quietly.
“Yeah, ah know,” Applejack said to behind her, not daring to look away.
Many ponies think that the Everfree forest hates ponies, and because it hates ponies it does whatever it has to do to drive them away. Those on the Ponyville fringe know a different story though. It’s not that the forest doesn’t hate ponies with all its heart, but the forest doesn’t drive ponies away. No, the forest does its best to make sure ponies can never leave. Whatever happened here between the princesses, the land itself felt betrayed by what was done, and in a land where friendship is magic, betrayal is a very powerful force indeed.
Now Applejack wasn’t so good at the supernatural jiggery pokery, but she knew that the land here couldn’t be reasoned with or soothed, and the answer to somepony, or something like that is plain and simple: a big rock to the head. The land didn’t exactly have a head, but it was like a vicious dog that had been treated wrong so it never trusted ponies again. Vicious dogs had heads ...and so did wolves. Thankfully, the land had some sort of self hating insecurity complex going on, so there was plenty of uneven terrain and rocks to kick around. And for most ponies, charging these things head on would be suicide, but Applejack was not most ponies, and Twilight even less so.
The two of them were met with long, jagged, dead wood claws, and creaking jaws full of splintery teeth dripping with poisoned sap. Twilight brought a shield up though it crackled unstably in the wild magic of the woods, and that’s the last Applejack saw before leaping into action.
Applejack jumped above the teeth and claws just by a hair and landed squarely on the thing’s back. It tried to draw her into its woody tangles but its fellows were not nearly patient enough for that to take effect, nor did they care for each other’s well being. So two others tackled her from each side roaring as they reached for the unwanted yet coveted invader with only the fury that long dead trees can display. But Applejack was not there anymore, having leapt up again three ponylengths into the air. In their madness the things were tearing apart the one she jumped on trying to get her, and the moment of air time gave Applejack the chance to count. Twelve that she could see... eleven now. Hoo boy.
Her arc of descent landed her on the other side of the blockade entirely where sure enough she found the rubble of something or another, maybe a building maybe a rock formation. She used that to knock out the weaker forelegs of the closest one to the middle, shouting “Twilight, get that one!” Then she was charging around the remaining two in a broad circle shouting loudly, “Alright you curdling tree farts get somma this you leaf piles piecea junk horse apple stew can’t even” (it didn’t matter what she said as long as she said it loudly and angrily) “fight a rake you mongreloid basket weaving rejects why don’t you go run off a cliff and blow up halfway—” and the moment she was at the halfway point around, Applejack went quiet and dove behind a tree, scrambling up its rough bark face opposite the direction they could see. Sure enough they went double teaming after her on either side of the tree, and smashed into each other head-on. The woody collision disrupted them enough to give Applejack precious seconds while they shook their disjointed heads as if in confusion. Thankfully it wasn’t a hard enough hit to make them merge.
Applejack leapt down from the trees branches, running the moment her hooves touched ground back to Twilight. She’d got the one down that Applejack had crippled, but the one Applejack got first was starting to reform. Applejack bucked it into sawdust. The two on Twilight’s side were snapping at her ferociously but she didn’t even seem phased, and soon as one of them leapt at her a bubble winked into the air around it. It wasn’t like Twilight’s normal Shining Armor Special though, because it kept on moving instead of staying fixed in space, and when Twilight bucked it the bubble went rocketing off into the forest like it was the weight of a feather. The other attacked once her horn was engaged, but she just sent a shining bolt of force through it, driving it back, her aura doubling up as she did so.
Applejack had to turn her back to Twilight then and face off the other two monstrosities shouting, “Go Granny, go go!” and with Twilight on one side and Applejack on the other, there was a neat corridor down which Granny rocketed, the fillies clinging to her back. The rotten things had tried to cut the ponies off from reaching the forest’s edge of course. That was how you could tell which way to run when you were under attack on the border of the Everfree. You run directly at whatever’s attacking you, because there is no other way out. The two mares backed up smoothly towards each other now, as the attackers pressed their advantage closing the gap and putting the ponies into a defensive retreat.
Twilight’s butt smacked up against Applejack’s and the two of them turned side by side, on the side that they wanted to be with a free shot straight to Ponyville. They had successfully closed the book. No really that was the name of the maneuver. Twilight had some kind of flat force field that she could only hold long enough for one of them to smack against it, but that was long enough. Applejack risked bucking another one in the chin, its steaming jaws clacking shut as it reared up falling over on its back. Another one was snapping after her hooves as she did though. You did not want to get even scratched by those things. Twilight was stressed too, you could feel the heat from her horn from a pace away.
“That’s enough a head start!” Applejack shouted to Twilight.
“On 3 we go!” she shouted back, punctuating each of her numbers with a twig shattering force bolt, “One, two, three!”
And then the two of them were running like a bat out of Tartarus.
Applejack could’ve outrun them herself, but Twilight they could out-pace, so she ran ahead of Twilight breaking off a piece of a cliff face with her hoof and sending it spiraling through the air, knocking the nearest one off its feet wherupon it impacted the ground into splinters. Applejack winced at that, hoping they could get out of here before too many of them fell totally apart. They always came back bigger the second time. Twilight leapt on Applejack’s back, and then up onto the ledge of the cliff, then Applejack jumped the entire the way herself, just as another one smashed itself apart on the rocky face she had been a moment before. Then they were running again. You don’t pause in the Everfree when you think you are winning. Winning just meant that you were attracting the attention of other, bigger things.
Even at Twilight’s pace, they should have caught up to Granny by now. Applejack hadn’t seen Granny fall. She couldn’t have fallen! She wouldn’t have! Not with foals to take care of. Or, sort of foals, or whatever those things were. Applejack just kept on going, scanning the tree line for any sign of Granny ahead of them, and playing defense for Twilight whenever Applejack could manage to run ahead.
Meanwhile far, far ahead of them, Granny Smith was shouting, “Holey buuuuuuuuuuuuuuck” the two fillies on her back buzzing their wings as hard as they possibly could, sending her literally rocketing forward faster than her legs could carry her, like some kind of Granny shaped rocket with twin boosters.
When Applejack finally emerged from the trees, she was relieved to see the distant mountains of Canterlot clear as rain, and more relieved to see two fillies standing on either side of a dizzy and confused Granny Smith, looking at her with concern as Granny’s eyes seemed to be rolling around in different directions at once. Twilight was close behind, and immediately spun around after breaking out of the trees.
The things followed them right out of the forest. How could they not? They were just that enraged. But here Twilight was a lot more useful than a pot and kettle, easily blasting the things destructively up in the air and shooting them in a distant arc back over into the woods. Applejack totally coulda done that too, but that would mean she had to touch the things. Twilight was able to easily uh, ‘deter’ them without danger of poison or infection though, and the few left just slunk back into the bushes and creeped out of sight.
Applejack trotted up to Twilight first, checking to see if she was okay. It might seem she had her priorities messed up but, well, keeping Twilight on her hooves was the best way to protect Granny right now, no matter what state Applejack’s dearest grandmother was in. Twilight was breathing hard, her sides heaving from running, and her horn was flickering unsettlingly, but for the most part she seemed uninjured. Applejack put a hoof on her shoulder supportively, and Twilight seemed to perk up from that, or calm down whichever it was. “You okay, Twi?” she asked the little purple unicorn.
“Bucking...” Twilight’s answer came slowly because she was breathing hard. “Hate... Timber Ferrets...”
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well...at least they are sorta better?
A working theory! Heluja!
Also, if these little fillies do indeed feast on real parasprites then Ponyville will want to keep them close and well cared for. Yes, Pinkie can play a tune and lure them back into the Everfree but the underlying problem of locust-like Parasprites still return. Finally, a weapon against the little flying blights. And, technically, a "green" ecological solution too! Fluttershy would be happy to hear that (bloody tree huggers). I wonder if these, er, "proto-ponies" can sniff out changelings too?
I do hope once their diet is finally spelled out, ponies like Applejack and Pinkie will stop trying to kill them.
p.s. The "not a parasprite" body check is so utterly embarrassing...
5619311
They're out of the Everfree at least. I stalled in there way too long to not have a monster attack.
5619350
Yep, Twilight has got a sensible well reasoned working model that's almost not incorrect!
I'm a little unsure about the feasting on parasprites thing actually. It seemed a little of out of left field, but it should sort of make sense by the time this thing is done. Oh well, one more excuse to have fillies doing weeeeird things!
I still think they are a surviving project from the horror orphanage, perhaps dr. Crack Pot himself created them to prove his theory. Also evil organization needs cheap reproduced labor the Fillysprites seem to fit that bill nicely.
I hate how good this story is.
5620464
Parasprites are probably the best thing they could be nibbling on, since, to the rest of Ponyville, the mindset is; as long as they eat those and not us, we're ok with that (except Fluttershy, she hates everything, even Mikey).
5620464
The interesting question is, does Archer absorb the memories of a parasprite in the same way as she would absorb the memories of (say) Scootaloo?
Timber ferrets? That makes as much sense as discord is celestias brother
5623396
HOW DID YOU GET MY NOTES
This story is amazing.
This is interesting!
Yup, definitely needs more.
I normally don't read non HIE fics, but when i do, they are usually awesome!
this story is awesome besides some weird grammar errors here and there.
hmm i have some ideas on scootaloo's paraspriteism.
1. twilight's idea on her being a throw back is true.
2. that orphanage that was destroyed years ago did... experiments on fillies? right?
3. 1-2b. scootaloo may not be the original filly.
4. scootaloo can't remember too far back because the filly merging back and forth merges and blends memories.
keep up the awesome work and i hope too see more soon.
5619350
Except that Pinkie doesn't just "lure them back into the Everfree", she then proceeds to DROWN them.
hmm... maybe the fillysprites are sort of an evolutionary answer to parasprites? After all, something has to keep those buggers in check.
It's really kind of funny how much about ponies is explained just by "they evolved from parasprites." The weird colors, the strange eating habits, the obsession with music...
Am I the only one who thinks that MLP:FiM is based in a made-up future-future-future future?
8730789
Timber... ferrets? Not wolves? Well heck.
8730789
or are future 5700000 years from now
9915189
That's a suspiciously specific number...