The Trials of Being Pinkie Pie
Pinkie Pie did get in trouble, it turns out. At first it didn’t seem like she was going to get anything but a slap on the pastern with pardon after pardon the princess was giving out.
“Pinkie Pie had a troubled upbringing,” Celestia explained, “She was just under a misimpression given to her by somepony who deceived her, not deceiving anypony else.”
“Pinkie Pie was subject to high levels of immanation during her enchantment,” the princess explained, “It was my actions which led her to that unnatural state, and I will do whatever I can to ensure her spree of destruction leaves as little lasting harm as possible.”
“Pinkie Pie had been denied her true nature for so long that she had no instincts she could rely on. It must have been terrible to lose trust in your own heart, when what it tells you is so different from what is true. When her heart told her it was wrong, she only felt more that it was the right thing to do.”
“Pinkie Pie was just being Pinkie Pie.”
And explanation stuff like that. But finally, they got to addressing the pertinent concerns, which means talking about the bad parts or about what Pinkie should have done. Pinkie paid real close attention to that. Pinkie sort of knew what they were, but she wasn’t sure what she knew anymore, so she let them tell her, just to be sure.
“I have said my peace,” Princess Celestia said, returning to her seat in the town hall auditorium, “The defense rests.”
It was an unwelcoming courtroom that Pinkie Pie found herself escorted to. Everypony was gathered in the one hundred first room in the Town Hall, one of the big auditoriums used for presentations and plays. The stage had a judge’s podium placed on it, and stands for the audience and the defense. But that’s not what made it scary.
What made it scary was it was the very same auditorium that Pinkie had sat in for so many tense and nerve wracking hours, desperately hoping Twilight would keep missing her nervous twitches. It was kind of a mean thing for her friends to do, but it was also kind of funny in the end, so Pinkie had to grant them that much at least. When the birdy started chirping outside, Pinkie was sure that was the end of her, and also when she had to look to see if her mirror clone could touch the ceiling, and a frog crossed with an orange; how could you not get distracted by that? When that weird clone made those...things pop out of her hooves, Pinkie thought she was going to die for sure. And that other clone’s face, that horrible, horrible face.
And somehow Twilight didn’t see her. Pinkie was behind the clone right when the nasty horn laser hit it and it started convulsing, and she snapped her head to the front hoping nopony saw. And nopony saw . They were all too busy watching the clones getting zapped into big nasty clonesplosions, so every time Pinkie thought she had lost, she just barely pulled through. She was used to being reeeally lucky, but these were deadly laser shooters, and Pinkie had to sit there watching paint dry!!
And then... then the last clone wouldn’t move. It wouldn’t stop staring. It wouldn’t even twitch. Pinkie didn’t even know if it was dead. It just stared and stared behind her, endlessly staring at the wall of paint, and she didn’t have any more clones left to hide her mistakes, so she couldn’t twitch, couldn’t even blink.
And then you know what happened? Rainbow Dash tried to kill her! She said that somepony was making balloon animals! She didn’t even say that it was, like, two cities away, so Pinkie thought it was right here, and she was so bored of watching paint dry, and before she knew it she was asking her friend where, where, because she couldn’t even see the balloon maker, just looking around and magenta light filled her vision.
Two seconds later, Pinkie Pie had opened her eyes, and took her head out from under her hooves. The last strand of magenta energy was flying out the window, and it wasn’t her!
“But... I messed up!!” she yelled to Twilight. “How do you know I’m me?? I failed the test!!” And the infuriatingly smiling unicorn didn’t even budge. Twilight just looked at Pinkie’s manic form and a light chuckle bubbled up in her chest. Not Pinkie’s chest, Twilight’s chest. Twilight’s stupid purple smartie chest.
“Oh Pinkie,” she said, removing Pinkie’s hoof from her chest. “You didn’t fail the test. There was no test!”
Pinkie just fell back on her butt and sounded way too much like a donkey in response to that.
“The clone disruption spell I whipped up is completely harmless to ponies,” Twilight said getting all lecture modey. “My immediate hornpower is barely enough to so much as tickle a normal pony, much less kill you. Your biomorphic field is quite resilient, I assure you. All I did was utilize an aerolitic neodynamism etc etc etc to return the clones to the pool.”
“Then why the test?!” Pinkie exclaimed, sitting there in an outraged flabbergasted heap of outraged flabbergast. She must have exclaimed too loud though, because everypony’s ears were flat, and they were all silently staring at her, and the windows sort of shattered.
“I knew this was a bad idea!” Rainbow Dash called down from above.
And Twilight looked really nervous then, as Pinkie intensely stared at her, all friendlyly and nicely , thinking about making Twilight cupcakes, because cupcakes tasted sweet, and good. Twilight lifted a hoof, and said, “Well, uh, we had to get all the Pinkies in one place, eventually, and... well... you see...”
“Y’ain’t gonna do it again, are ya?” Applejack spoke up next to Pinkie. And that cooled Pinkie’s temper, like the fire of a thousand... not... suns. All she could think about was that wall of purple paint. That horrible, horrible wall. It wasn’t even on a building. It was just a wall. Of paint drying. Why, oh why did it have to be paint drying?!
Pinkie said “No, thank you,” very maturely and calmly, without crying and blubbering and collapsing on the floor, and rolling around or anything like that. After she was done, she saw her friends remained remarkably unsympathetic, still standing around her in a semicircle.
“Guess you learned your lesson then,” Applejack said smugly, as soon as Pinkie quieted down enough to hear her. And Applejack just went and trotted off out of the town hall. It wasn’t until then that Pinkie realized. She never had to worry about being exploded at all, because her friends already knew her so well, and she was something precious to them, that they would never hurt or needlessly put in harm’s way, and her stupid dumb friends just wanted her to think it was going to happen, just so she would stare at paint drying until her joints stiffened up and her eyes started to cross.
She still wasn’t sure if she should have forgiven them or thanked them, but Pinkie Pie definitely never ever wanted to return to the Mirror Pool, or have a fun copy of herself to help her, ever again. Fast forward to a few days ago, when stupid not fun copies of herself started coming out of her mouth, of all places. Pinkie Pie just really really, really wanted them all to get in trouble and get zapped away and back to the pool so that her friends wouldn’t make her sit there again for 3 hours watching paint dry.
And boy did that not go well.
So now she was escorted into the very same auditorium that had once served as her torture chamber. Now it was to serve as her place of trial. Ponies probably didn’t notice that she never had parties in Town Hall anymore, or that Pinkie avoided this room in particular. Or that she voted absentee now. But if she had said something about it, would they have picked it for her knowingly, since Pinkie hurt them all and they wanted to hurt her back?
She was less afraid of that happening now, after Princess Celestia herself defended Pinkie Pie. Pinkie was still scared, but it didn’t look like they were going to make her watch paint dry, even though she made even more and more clones than she ever had before. They just wanted to... talk to her, and treat her like she was a pony who could be helped, and reasoned with. Pinkie wasn’t sure at this point if she should be thanking them, or worrying about their sanity.
“The defense rests,” Princess Celestia said, retreating from the podium, and taking her seat beside the Cakes, who looked like they were going to faint from their proximity to the all powerful princess of everything except when she wasn’t.
“Then let the um...” said the somewhat portly judge, with the big purple bun her mane was done up in, who was actually Sweetie Belle’s mom. You wouldn’t think she of all ponies was a judge, but that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. She looked really uncomfortable as she said the word, “...prosecution come to the stand.”
Even Pinkie could understand the reason the judge was feeling uncomfortable. She didn’t quite understand the reasoning behind this being the prosecution talker pony person. Twilight’s explanation had something to do with bias, and part of an im, and which ‘tourney pony was best at understanding all the bad things Pinkie did, without getting mad and lying about her to try to hurt her. But even with that understanding, Pinkie had to admit it was awfully unsettling seeing Fluttershy take the stand against her.
It made Pinkie feel terribler too. Fluttershy shouldn’t have to think up bad things to say about her, but it was yet another thing Pinkie had burdened her friends with. Pinkie hadn’t been a very good friend lately.
Since they started making her eat herself, which she didn’t mind at all, because she was too busy being delicious, Pinkie had had a lot of time to think, and a lot of time to cry. She wished she had never even heard of that silly fillysprite story. She didn’t even really remember why she was so upset over it. It seemed so silly now, but now wasn’t then, and try as she might, Pinkie couldn’t ever change now to then.
To make matters even worser, she hadn’t been able to bake a single thing since the incident. There were just too many ponies she hurt and especially buildings. She wasn’t very good at building buildings, but she had to help out however she could. Helping with constructions, going before the council of oatmeal. You know, not fun stuff like that. Her hair had perked back up once she got enough of um, her to eat, but she didn’t feel like laughing or making noise or saying anything funny as she sat there anxiously, awaiting Fluttershy’s testimony.
“Pinkie Pie was,” Fluttershy spoke clearly, pausing to look nervously under her wing where some papers were perched saying, “Um... I mean... what I mean to say is...” Gee, whose idea was this again? Oh right, Twilight. She’s the big idea pony.
“Pinkie Pie should have listened to her friends,” Fluttershy said at length, as if admitting some great fault of her own. Pinkie’s ears turned down though, because it was her great fault, not Fluttershy’s, and she could only feel worser as Fluttershy listed off all of the, um... some of the ways Pinkie Pie should have listened.
“Rainbow Dash told her that Scootaloo wasn’t evil,” Fluttershy said more confident as she got going, “And it was the honest truth. Twilight’s magic showed that Scootaloo was safe, and Applejack could tell that Pinkie was listening to the wrong um, ponies. If it were other ponies whose advice she had ignored, it may have been acceptable, but we’re her friends, and she knows how much we care about her. She should have listened when we said she was going too far. I mean, I think so. that is... um...”
The court wasn’t attended by many ponies, so Fluttershy wasn’t too nervous. There were the Cakes who housed and clothed Pinkie Pie (the joke is she doesn’t wear clothes), and all her best friends. There was Cheerilee and Big Macintosh, and Applejack. Those three were watching over Scootaloo, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, and Archer now. The fillies were here so they could “learn a thing or two” and Pinkie was fine with being used to learn stuff, even if it made her feel as good as a chalkboard. What really surprised Pinkie Pie was the princess Celestia, who brought in some ponies, who...
They were all brown and grey, the color of rocks and dirt. The color that Pinkie could never really be a part of. It was her mother, and her father, and her two siblings. Her surviving family. The group of four looked more than a little lost, out of place in the colorful Ponyville, the same way that Pinkie Pie felt in of place in the colorful Ponyville. It was a very peculiar role reversal, yet despite her past, the last thing Pinkie Pie wanted was to see her family in distress.
It wasn’t her whole family, but then, it couldn’t have been. In the forefront there was a tall brown stallion with rock grey hair along his neck and thick sideburns, with a simple black hat adorning his head, and a simple black tie adorning his neck. The image of a rock pick rested proudly on his hindquarters. At his side was a grey mare with greyer hair. The couple may have born little resemblance to Pinkie Pie herself, were it not for that gray mare’s baby blue eyes, which she kept securely situated behind some serious looking golden spectacles. Her hair was in a neat bun, as always, and her black shawl bore only the simplest of gold ornaments. Really the most distinctive feature of her were the boulders on her backside. Those were hips that could move mountains, or so her father liked to tell her mother, when he thought the foals were asleep.
Behind them were two mares about Pinkie’s age, one younger and one older than her. The older one had fur the color of shale with a straight plain grey mane and eyes of even dimmer brown than her father. The other looked nearly identical to the one, but slightly taller, with colors reversed: plain grey fur and a mane the color of dirty amethyst. This fourth pony didn’t seem to be nervous at all, but from what Pinkie remembered of her, she had a very reserved way of expressing herself. So maybe she was really nervous. The third pony, her other sister, seemed less reserved, and was simply staring around the room like a lost tourist. A lost tourist in a courtroom.
Anyway, so somehow Celestia got her family allllllll the way from Nickerlite to come over. Something about how they raised her, but they couldn’t have raised her any different because they were them and she was Pinkie Pie, and really, how do you raise somepony like that? Besides any of those ponies she described, the court was closed off to the public except for that one window at the top of the auditorium that Twilight had forgot to lock. It was mostly—no pretty much totally for Fluttershy’s benefit.
So, thankfully Fluttershy seemed to not completely crumble, before just a small bushel of ponies. She recovered, after checking again the notes a certain somepony had prepared for her, and saying in an awkward blurt, “Pinkie Pie should restrain herself around little fillies and colts.”
That hit Pinkie pretty hard. She really did hurt foals, didn’t she? And yet she didn’t even know why. Fluttershy continued more evenly, saying, “Younger ponies don’t know as much, because they haven’t been alive as long to learn as much as older ponies. It’s not fair to try and scare them to get what you want, because they have no way to tell if what you’re saying is not true, and they don’t know themselves enough yet to know if they will react badly in stressful situations.”
She looked guiltily at Pinkie Pie and said, “You should have consoled Apple Bloom and told her she was safe, instead of yelling at her and um, running away.”
Pinkie still didn’t know why, but at least she knew what to do. Console Apple Bloom. That was a good thing, right? But what about the next time? She didn’t want there to be a next time, but it might not even be Apple Bloom next time, and it might not even be evil fillymunching monsters. What should she do then?
Pinkie spared a glance at the judge. Hopefully the judge pony was nice, and she would be able to tell Pinkie what to do. Pinkie Pie sure wasn’t going to tell herself what to do anymore. Not after all that!
It was kind of funny watching Rainbow Dash stare at Fluttershy’s delivery. Pinkie had been as surprised as her that Fluttershy would give testimony, but Rainbow Dash really wore her brain on her sleeve. That meant it was really easy to tell what she was thinking. And right now Rainbow Dash was thinking that Fluttershy is the bestest prosecution pony ever, and how far she’s come since that meanie minotaur tried to swindle her. But Rainbow didn’t really realize that yet until today, and that meant she was really surprised, and that meant her jaw was dropping open. She looked so funny when she did that!
Fluttershy nervously and uncertainly explained in very clear words how Pinkie shouldn’t incite town mobs, even when she thinks she’s really right, how she should have told the police right away, or perhaps the creature control patrol, or even the princess(es), since just knowing is almost enough to win any battle against parasprites. And she was right. And Pinkie still didn’t really know why she didn’t. She just wanted to save her friends at first, but once she’d started playing the parasprite song, Pinkie just couldn’t bring herself to listen to anypony else. What’s up with that?
Fluttershy also said Pinkie shouldn’t have kept it all to herself, and even if Pinkie loved her grandmother very much, Pinkie still shouldn’t let a crazy mare’s stories rule her life. Pinkie really missed her granny, but she missed her old granny, before Granny Pie had to go away and got all angry all the time. It was new granny who told her about the fillysprite. New granny was dead though, so she wasn’t going to hurt anypony else. Pinkie wished that old granny wasn’t.
Fluttershy was using a lot of words at the end there, trying to figure out how to say “crazy mare,” so Rainbow tried to help by shouting it out from the stands. So Pinkie shouted in response that Granny Pie was a hero, because she was hero. Granny Pie had just made some... mistakes, but she still saved ponies and went on adventures. Or, she used to. Then the judge said that everypony had to get quiet or they’d get in trouble, even Pinkie Pie.
The judge’s sentence was kind of ear lifting to Pinkie Pie. “Your foalhood was ...strained,” she said with a disapproving glance at the guilty looking cluster of Pies. So Pinkie’s childhood wasn’t good? Pinkie knew it wasn’t good, but she didn’t know it wasn’t good good. “And pretty gosh darn incomplete,” the judge concluded. “It seems as you could benefit most from learning more about how to behave from foals, and how to treat foals, so for the remainder of the school year you should assist Miss Cheerilee in her daily lessons, listening to her and only doing whatever she thinks is best to help them, disregarding your own judgement, while trying to see what life’s like for a foal.”
Pinkie wanted to shout that’s a great idea, but she also wanted to shout out that’s a terrible idea because what if she hurts foals again? But she didn’t know how to say something was both a great and a terrible idea, so she had to stay quiet.
“During the following summer,” the judge continued with some relief in her voice, giving Pinkie a good impression that being quiet might have been the best idea. Imagine that! “You can spend one week each, for each of your best friends, you know, all twelve of them. You’ll devote each week to that friend, doing whatever they want you to do, and sure as with Cheerilee you have to disregard your own judgement.”
Pinkie really really didn’t want to mess that up, but her anxiety lessened when the judge’s firm visage softened, to look at her with a gentle sympathy, “Don’t you know, your experience showed you that your own judgement isn’t all that great right now. It must be real frightening to know that you can’t rely on yourself to do the right thing, but you can rely on your friends. I just know if you devote yourself to this honestly and generously, then your own judgement will improve, and you will be able to lead a fuller and happier life.”
“Hopefully without any more Pink Alerts!” called a strange mare, shouting from a window high up in the auditorium that nopony had noticed was open. With a pleasant twinkle of Twilight’s magic, the window slammed shut in her face.
“Erm, I’ll be be posting the proceedings and sentence outside town hall, for all to see this week,” the judge said, ignoring that little outburst. “If anypony wants to object to their reasoning or their severity, a trial of trial may be scheduled. So, if there are no other objections...” she gave a meaningful look at the princess, who just nodded slightly.
“Court is adjourned!” the judge said cheerfully, rapping the gavel twice on the podium, then spitting it out. She bit the papers she had before her, shifting to slide them into her bag, then magically levitated a scarf onto her neck, and hopped down to the level of everypony else.
When they all ventured outside into the bright shining ...overcast sky, Pinkie was feeling really good about how all this went over. “You know what this calls for?” she said, to her friends surrounding her and also her parole officer with a bright grin. Her grin faltered then when they waited for her to finish. Pinkie had wings on her back now, she remembered. Things were ...different now. It was too easy for her to lightly flutter them, just to see if they’re still there.
“No really, girls,” Pinkie Pie said in a subdued tone, looking back askance at the town hall auditorium converted into an impromptu courthouse. “Does this call for a party? Because I honestly don’t know.”
“What kind of party would it even be?” Fluttershy said quietly.
Pinkie smiled eagerly at her and declared, “Why, a Justice is Served party! There would be cake and dancing and volleyball and... other servy things!”
“That’s... actually not a bad idea,” Twilight said, and Twilight really thinks about these things, so it must be good! Pinkie was about ready to explode from happiness to make her first party in since she went crazy and started terrorizing the town again, when... she saw someponies she wasn’t certain she wanted to see. Her little herd of friends was fast being approached by her little herd of family , with her mother, and her father at the lead. It was terribly awkward but, Pinkie supposed that it was necessary. The princess herself had brought them here, and if they were part of why Pinkie was a meanie, then she felt it imperative to mend relations.
With her friends to support her, Pinkie steeled her nerves. She had only run away from home after all, not done anything especially terrible. She simply needed a life outside of petriculture, and when her family hadn’t been able to oblige, she was herself obliged to take matters into her own hooves.
“Hello mother, father,” Pinkie said somewhat reservedly, looking also to her siblings that she left to their treasured rocks. “Blincina, Maud.”
Her father was a traditionalist, in that he considered and taught that the stallion was the center of a family unit, so it was no surprise when he was the first to speak, as little as he clearly wanted to. Mother probably pushed him to come forward at all.
“Hello Pinkie,” he said, in that gravelly voice that took her back all those years, in just a single moment. “Bit of trouble you got in?”
“I’m afraid my troubles aside, I have no intention to return to the farm,” Pinkie told him right away. “There is a wonderful town of ponies who I am forever indebted to, and fast friends I have made. I may not have had the best success on my own, but the farm is simply not where I wish to be.”
He looked at her impassively. “I was wrong,” he said, simply and quickly.
Pinkie stared at him in surprise. “I’m sorry, what?” she blurted.
“I told you that you would fail at life, if you walked away from the family... the farm,” he said in the same even tone that he said everything. “It seemed ludicrous that a pony like you would ever succeed as a party planner, of all things. You weren’t the pony I thought you were though, and you succeeded. I was wrong.”
Mother elbowed him, and he added with a grunt, “And... I was wrong for trying to frighten you into staying.”
Mother took her turn then, saying, “We love you, and didn’t want to see you hurt. When you really left, it was clear that we hurt you anyway. I’m sorry that...” she glanced aside nervously. “You just didn’t ever send any letters. We should have...”
“I didn’t want you to know,” Pinkie Pie said quietly, “You said that parties would neither feed nor shelter anypony, that party planners were worthless. I did not want you to think that I was engaged in something you were ashamed of. And if I wrote, I... was afraid that I would lose my nerve, and give up what I’d made of myself, to return to the farm. It was better if you just forgot about me.”
“We could never forget about you, Pinka... Pinkie,” her mother said with a trace of emotion in her voice. “You were a treasure to me just as much as any of your sisters. I shouldn’t have... when Inckera was ...gone, I should have taken it with more grace. I never meant to say she was... a better daughter. I was so glad you were alive. That’s what I should have told you, even if you wanted to... leave.”
Her father spoke then, saying sharply, “I was lying when I said party planners were worthless. I only said it to keep you from... making a mistake. There is nothing wrong with what you do. I’m... proud that you ...proved me wrong.”
“There is more to life than survival.”
Pinkie hadn’t heard Maud’s voice since she was much younger. It hadn’t thrived since then. It had become deeper, and even more scratchy, but... there was a certain appeal to it. It was the sort of voice that could soothe anypony gently to sleep, whether they liked it or not. “There is more to life than survival,” Maud said simply, “There are also rocks. I write poems about rocks now.”
Pinkie looked at Maud searchingly, then a comprehension dawned in her. “Oh, what you mean is that parties are akin to poetry, both without measurable value?”
Maud nodded very slightly. “Poems do not feed or shelter anypony. Neither do rocks, except big rocks. But they make me feel good. To write them. The little rocks.”
Well if that didn’t offer Pinkie much to ponder in the coming years, she didn’t know what would! Her gaze drifted to her fourth family member, Miranda Blincina Pie, who looked at her like a deer in headlights. The purple pony with straight grey hair looked around, then lifted a hoof and said,
“...what? I said she should go.”
Blincina had grown into one of those power voices, that felt like there was always something exciting in them. Having spoken, Pinkie’s second sister stuck her raised hoof out straight towards Pinkie in a thumb up gesture of approval, saying with a half smile, “Good job, Pinkie.”
Pinkie looked at the four of them uncertainly. She felt so achy breaky that she just wanted to grab them all in a big hug and never let go for a few seconds. Father’s eyes turned down, and he started to turn away, to lead his family back to... however they got here. They wouldn’t tarry long. Pinkie leaned back into the quiet mass of her friends whispering, “I’m afraid I don’t know if I should–”
“Hug them you stupid mare!” Rarity hissed, pushing Pinkie stumbling forward. Rarity’s coarse whisper and brutish shove were convincing enough advice, so Pinkie did. And they were all surprised, because ponies weren’t often seen hugging in Nickerlite. They were also surprised because Pinkie could hug all four of them at once, but that was just Pinkie being herself and... also because Pinkie was one of those oraclesprite ponies. According to Twilight, Scootaloo was real stretchy too. But even that was okay, because Pinkie Pie was here hugging her family after all these years, and they hugged her back... eventually, and when they did take their leave, she and they both felt a lot more warm hearted than they did before.
“That went well!” Pinkie said with a broad smile at her departing family. She trotted along with her friends, trusty Applejack who didn’t judge her even now, and the amazing Rainbow Dash, and Twilight Sparkle, who had taught her what friendship even was, and a de-frazzled looking Rarity, who had shown her most elegant face for the formal court proceeding, and Fluttershy who... really really didn’t mind what happened to Pinkie.
“You um... sounded ...different,” Rainbow Dash said, trying to be complimentary about it. “What was with all the big words?”
“What big words?” Pinkie asked her in confusion.
“Like um...” now Rainbow Dash seemed confused too. “Well I guess intention isn’t a big word, um... measurable?” she struggled to express herself, “You just sounded so...”
“Loquacious!” Rarity exclaimed.
“Yeah!” Rainbow Dash said looking at Rarity. “That’s a big word! Wait, did she say loquacious? I don’t remember that one.”
Rarity almost tripped, trying to facehoof.
“Ohhh,” Pinkie realized. “No, you shoulda heard me when I moved into Ponyville I was like ‘May I purchase your entire supply of streamers’ and ‘I wish to acquire bits so that I may eat without accruing debt’ and ‘You are cordially invited’ well I mean I still say that, but I said it for every party. I was... kind of terrible at parties at first.
“But I practiced and practiced, and soon I figured out how to talk party!” Pinkie said cheerfully. “And the rest is history.”
Twilight kind of boggled at her saying, “You... actually talk like that on purpose ?”
“Uh huh?” Pinkie said uncertainly to Twilight. “Is that bad?”
“Just... why?!” Twilight asked with a twitchy eye.
Pinkie headtilted a walking shrug, saying, “Because it’s fun, silly! Also ponies like it. Also it’s easier. Also I always had to talk like that old snooty way or I’d get in trouble so now I can talk however I want and I can keep saying things without having to stop and nopony gets mad or upset or worried or asking me to take a breath or anything like that at all!”
“S’truth,” Applejack said smoothly into the end of Pinkie’s big sentence. “Ah remember before Pinkie got talkin’ all Pinkielike, everypony thought she was a little filly outta a crazy house or somethin’. Kept tryin’ to catch her, put her in a facility or send her somewhere. Never did catch her. Me and Bonnie had a betting pool over some chores how long she’d hold out. An’ then she just blew everypony’s mind with th’ harvest parade. After that nopony seemed to mind her. I reckon how you talk is real important for how other ponies see you.”
Applejack turned to face forward a little self conscious at the stares from Rainbow and Twilight, grumbling to herself, “Never did get those chores done.”
“Your family... seemed... nice,” Fluttershy spoke up quietly. She didn’t continue beyond that, and Fluttershy didn’t really say nice, like “nice” nice, but said it more like “I don’t know how to say they’re a bunch of stodgy fuddy duddies without offending you” nice.
But Applejack jumped on the opportunity to change the subject away from her bet with Bonbon, saying with a little more sincerety, “Eyup, your family seems right nice, alright! Never thought a rock farmer’d be so level headed aw shucks,” She blushed, pulling her hat over her eyes. “Kind of obvious now that ah say it out loud.”
“They’re okay,” Pinkie said to embarassed apple pone. “I don’t really know them anymore, since it’s been so long, but then again things change really slowly on a rock farm. Father might have one more gray hair maybe.” That was a joke because his hair was all grey the day he was born, but nopony picked up on it. Pinkie looked thoughtfully at the loyal, dependable Applejack, who always helped out her own family, and always came back to them no matter what, and Pinkie sighed out with a heavy heart, “I should have at least written, after I got to live with the Cakes.”
“Well,” Applejack said tentatively, giving Pinkie a delightfully nonjudgemental, but slightly sad smile. “We cain’t always be as lucky as ah am. Some ponies just never get a chance to look back where they came from, and ya cain’t expect them to see what they ain’t got no more. Takes a small miracle sometimes. Or a princess.”
“Or a town-wide disaster,” Pinkie put in.
“Tell me ya didn’t orchestrate this whole thing just t’ get back in touch with your kin again,” Applejack said flatly. Pinkie laughed at that silliness. Pinkie stopped laughing. Pinkie adopted a stiffly neutral expression. Pinkie Pie nodded to Applejack. Applejack ended her stare, and turned forward the way they were trotting with a satisfied smile. Pinkie sagged on her own hooves with relief.
“You got them now ,” Applejack said smugly, cute little nose pointed proudly in the air, “An’ ah advise you keep aholda them as close as you can.”
“I will,” Pinkie said by her side emphatically. “And I’ll write them, and they can write me, but I still won’t move back because my home is here, but you’re right and I’m so glad the princess helped bring them here!”
“You seem to be taking all this really well actually,” Twilight said to her. “I’d think you would be more upset.”
“No, I’m pretty happy with how things turned out,” Pinkie smiled pleasantly. “It could have been a lot worse!”
“Well, I mean...” Twilight waved an unused trotting hoof, saying, “Your whole life was a lie, and everything changed overnight.”
“Oh, it wasn’t really a lie,” Pinkie speculated with a distant smile, “It was just a little less me-spitty-outy and less wingy.” She fluttered the things, feeling lighter on her hooves as she did so. “They’re actually kind of fun, I think,” Pinkie said. “And maybe I can see Dashie more often.”
Rainbow Dash turned to her with a “Wha–” before Twilight interrupted, saying,
“Your tribe have greatly specialized wings, more for travelling on the surface than flying in the air. You might not be able to get much lift with those to fly up to wherever Rainbow Dash is.”
“I know that,” Pinkie said to Twilight, “But I could use my Pinkiecopter or a balloon. It just means if I fall, I’ll be safer. Like I was born with a parachute?”
“I’m not sure that—” Twilight says before Rainbow Dash interrupts her, saying,
“That’ll be totally awesome Pinkie, because you’re gonna have to follow me for my week this summer.”
“What’re we gonna do?” Pinkie asked curiously.
“I’m joining the Cloudsdale Summer Speed tournament,” Rainbow said confidently, “And you’re gonna be my cheering squad!”
Pinkie gasped in delight, “That’s–”
“No offense, Fluttershy,” interrupting Rainbow said to the quiet butter colored pegasus. “But Pinkie is way better at cheering than you are.”
Wait no, Pinkie was the one who interrupted that time. She didn’t mean to though.
“None taken,” Fluttershy said with a gentle smile.
“But I mean,” Twilight uttered persistently, swaying to walk a little closer to Pinkie, “You scared a lot of ponies, and there’s still a lot to clean up.”
“I know Twilight, and I’m sorry,” Pinkie said sincerely. “If there’s anything I can do to help I’ll do anything I can, but you heard the judge. She told me just what I have to do to get better, and that’s what I’m gonna do.”
“I think you’ve learned a lot from this,” Twilight smiled, “Even if you had such a frightening experience, and you had to see what terrible consequences are there if you choose the wrong thing to do.”
“Well, you know I always listen to Granny Pie. I’ll just do what she told me to do,” Pinkie winked at Twilight, who stiffened at that and turned to stare at her. Pinkie waited just long enough for Twilight to open her mouth to speak before exclaiming, “Giggle at the ghosties!” A giggle escaped her just for saying that phrase, never mind living it.
Twilight smiled uneasily at that, and Pinkie just giggled more at that under her hoof. “She didn’t have all bad advice,” Pinkie explained to soothe her friend’s worries. “I just have to learn from this about what Granny Pie said was good, and what she said that was bad.”
Twilight left Pinkie in peace for a while, before speaking up argumentatively again, “You’re not going to be as strong as you were before.”
“I was never all that strong, Twilight,” Pinkie corrected her, “Why do ya think I left the rock farm? That maybe was the transformation spell not working, but probably just that I don’t lift a lot of heavy things. I party!”
“Maybe,” Twilight granted, “But you have to learn about your body now. Do you know how much literature there is on wing care?”
“I got her covered, Twilight,” Rainbow Dash said confidently. “Fluttershy can teach her everything she needs to know about preening.”
“Oh, um, I can?” Fluttershy asked with a surprised look in Dash’s direction. “I mean, yes, I can,” she mumbled, looking down without waiting for an answer.
“Thanks Flutters,” Dash cheered slapping her in the back, “You’re the best!”
Fluttershy just wheezed weakly.
“I think Pinkie Pie is perfectly fine the way she is,” Rarity said warmly, making Pinkie beam with pleasure. “If anything, her life is an improvement over what it once was! Think of how her Pinkie Sense can finally make... ehm... sense!”
“That’s one way of looking at it,” Twilight admitted reluctantly.
“I really am fine,” Pinkie said to Twilight reassuringly. “I don’t even mind all the work they want me to do, to make things better. I’m even looking forward to it!” Though she wasn’t sure that Cheerilee was looking forward to it, but Pinkie was determined to make that as painlesslessless a process as possible. Painlesslesslessness is a state that is without the lack of lacking pain, incidentally.
“But...” Twilight was starting to get a little worked up now. Poor Twilight really was having a hard time seeing how hard it was, to find anything really bad, about all the stuff that happened. “I mean, you have to eat all those Pinkies now!” she said with a snort.
“It’s not so bad, when you get used to it,” Pinkie shrugged. Twilight eyeballed her, and Pinkie just gave a bright smile right back. Sighing, her unicorn friend turned away to face the way they were walking, lost in thought.
“I suppose it’s good overall, having all those Pinkies to eat,” Twilight finally conceded to a satisfied Pinkie Pie. “Since with your new metabolism, you won’t be able eat as many cakes and sugary candies as you used to.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Pinkie cried in anguish and grief, falling to her knees on the cobbles and raising her forehooves to the cruel, unforgiving sky.
I have no idea how trials work thank bob, but I bet they’re not nearly as nice as this.
Yes I did a chapter from Pinkie Pie’s perspective. I am so sorry.
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"And Twilight looked really nervous then, as Pinkie intensely stared at her, all friendlyly and nicely, thinking about making Twilight cupcakes, because cupcakes tasted sweet, and good."
...The double meaning of that phrasing. :D
Ow, though. And it looks like they probably have no idea they traumatized her.
Celestia says "the defense rests" and returns to her seat twice. Given that this is from Pinkie's perspective, that might have been intentional or might not be a problem even if it wasn't, but I thought that perhaps I ought to point it out anyway, just in case.
Unnnnnnnnng Pinkie POV chapter... *twitch*
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It was intentional, though maybe not the best technique. The chapter started out implying that Celestia was some sort of all powerful monarch who alone had the say in what happened to anypony, then revealed that she was actually only playing the part of defense attorney, no matter how much the ponies wished she would be an all powerful monarch. Then, Pinkie started reminiscing and recapping, to explain how Celestia got to that position in the first place, which I couldn't have started with because it would have spoiled the double take moment when you realize Celestia's actually a servant of the court. I had to give an indication of when that recap 'synched' up with the chapter lead in, so I repeated that line for emphasis.
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Ah, thanks.
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I forgot about herShe passed out on Rainbow Dash's back. Her life is one of alternating hyperactivity, and unconsciousness, so she's either impossible to ignore or easy to miss.6218314
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I'm finally caught up on this story. I have to say it's a lot deeper than I expected. Well done. However,
Aren’t you using a base 4 numbering system here? I'm pretty sure that six isn't a number for them.
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Yeah, you got me.
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Probably a stupid question of me, but who's the
6th12th friend? Cheerilee? Big Mac?Unless you're counting herself?
So... no punishment for Celestia, who was the sole cause of Pinkie's multiplication and all property damage that resulted?
And a definite contributory cause to Pinkie's attempted equicide of innocent fillies?
No, of course there isn't.
And... did the author just, in all seriousness, retcon the end of Too Many Pinkie Pies?! Even though there was absolutely no narrative reason to do so?! Just as a crass jab against the episode?
So Marble/Inkie's dead in this 'verse? Yikes...
did Pinkie accidentally KILL Inkie? I mean, "Close your eyes" doesn't exactly tell a person much about what's gonna happen, so did she struggle and just.... not come back out again?
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Oh, good call. I meant that Pinkie observed it, not that she was the one doing the eating. Actually, Inkie ate her! But... no, none of the foals back then stayed inside. It's pretty impossible to not come back out again if you wanted to.
Umm? This chapter is appearing as the previous one, coming to terms, for me....
Edit: As in when I click on the chapter I am just seeing a repeat of the previous one.
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Ah, dang thank you. I'll make sure it's not the wrong chapter pasted in. ...fixed.