• Member Since 16th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 2nd, 2015

Professor Piggy


It's a big day for Fluttershy; a day of memories, dreams, pain and peace. But when Cutie Mark Crusaders bring her moment of calm to a sudden and terrifying end, she realises that the the three little fillies' adventures are getting a little out of control. To help them, to keep them safe, Fluttershy decides she needs to tell the story of how she met her strangest, pinkest friend - and confront some old nightmares in the process.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 58 )

I remember reading this
So good T.T

Seriously- you have a way with words, kind sir. Please write more~

549035 I will. And am, actually at this moment - updates might be random, but they will always happen. I love this story and i'm keeping it.

I;m glad you liked it, too. :pinkiehappy:

:yay: It's officially up!

A really good start to your first story. You leave lots of interesting stuff to explore later, and Your Fluttershy POV is just great. As I've said before, I'm really looking forward to seeing how this goes. :pinkiesmile:

549052 Thanks, UO. :pinkiehappy: And thanks for the editing, too. :pinkiesmile:

Ah, good sir, it's pleasing to finally see a story from you! And a very intrequing one, from what I can gather, involving the two pegasi and the baker. Perhaps more. Will have to fav to see where it goes, your storytelling technique has gotten me hooked.

Hope to see it continue soon. Untill then, a nice day to you, good sir!

549212 I'm glad it caught you. And aye, we have quite a tale ahead of us I think.
I hope you'll enjoy how it ends up. :pinkiesmile:

Do like. Please, continue.

:twilightblush: A small request though; maybe split the chapter up into more manageable chunks? The whole thing is very coherent as a block, and I liked it, but more people will read if they aren't scared off by an OVER 9000 words chapter. Splitting it right after Fluttershy talks to the Crusaders might be a good place.

Characterization is spot on. An excellent first crack at it. Track, like, and anticipate eagerly. Both the chapter, and the inevitable banter in the comments between you and Dashie222.


This amuses me because I very nearly did exactly that. :rainbowlaugh: I'll definitely keep it in mind where it's practical - if there's a good point to
stop and keep them shorter i'll see what I can do. :twilightsmile:

I'm glad you like the characterisation - getting into Fluttershy's head was a lot of fun to try for. I hope you enjoy what comes. :pinkiehappy:

As for Dashie... you may be disappointed there. He doesn't like my writing much. :rainbowlaugh:

549411 If this first chapter is anything to go by, I certainly will enjoy what comes. And perhaps Dashie will just come to :derpytongue2:-rail your story. Here's hoping. :pinkiehappy:

549418 If he does, I shall be ready. On my honour. :rainbowdetermined2:

Well I gotta say, I'm certainly loving this fic already. Definitely tracking~

549835 Thanks :pinkiehappy: Glad you like it

I read this and approved, but wanted to state that publicly.

So here I am.

I must say this really impressed me. It needs to get featured, more people need to see this. I thoroughly enjoyed the thing from beginning to end, can't wait to see more.


Thanks. :pinkiehappy: Means a lot. It'd be cool to be featured, but it's not that good I think. But there shall be more. :pinkiesmile:

I will say, this is the first story i have read with Fluttershy as the main character. And from this day forth, it will be my favorite. You capture her personality so well, and i love it. I eagerly await the next part.

551137 Aw :pinkiehappy: Thanks! I'm flattered you like it that much. And yeah, now that you mention it there don't seem to be many. Midnight-Specter's excellent Heart's Aflutter and Cloudy Skies' Where Earth Meets Sky are the only ones that spring to mind, to me.

I hope you enjoy the rest as much. :twilightsmile:

Whoo! It's posted, it's posted! :pinkiehappy:

Said it before, but it bears repeating ... this is one of the most thoughtful, nuanced portrayals of Fluttershy that I've read, if not THE most thoughtful and nuanced.

Can't wait for the next chapter.

553627 Thanks, DB. I appreciate that. :twilightsmile: And thanks for editing it for me, too.

Good Lord...I- I love this! Beautifully written and so full of emotion :fluttercry: I SO look forward to next chapter


:pinkiehappy: Thanks. That made my day.

Ah, I got a sneak peek of the first few paragraphs and I'm very pleased to see that you've posted the first full chapter. So far I'm enjoying it a lot - I say enjoying, but I'm not sure that a ball of tension in your chest is actually all that enjoyable. Still, I am intrigued and I am excited for more.

/goes back to being poisoned

I love your Fluttershy, here. She's anxious, shy, brave, uncertain, self-deprecating and wise... In other words, wonderful! :fluttershysad:

I was about to say, 'Hey! This title's been done before!'
Then I saw all the comments saying they remembered this, or that, and then I clicked on it and I got all :twilightblush:

557021 Other people don't enjoy horrifying dramatic tension? :rainbowhuh: You learn something new every day. I'm glad you liked it, Starfall. :pinkiesmile: Second chapter is in the works but no promises on when it'll be up i'm afraid. I'm excited too. This is fun. :pinkiehappy:

Oh. You're unconcious. Huh. Go see Pinkie. She'll cupcake you right back onto your feet.

557248 Thanks - i'm really glad to hear that. The whole reason I originally wrote this was because I wanted to get into Fluttershy's head, and i'd had the idea rolling around for a while as a Pinkie story - I think it works a lot better from 'Shy's perspective though. I really like how it turned out myself. I'm pleased you like her. :twilightsmile:

558362 Hmm. I have to admit, i'm a little confused - i've not used this title before, and it had a completely different one right until it went up. The people remembering it have read it before, prior to publication. There probably is another by this name - I thought it was odd I couldn't find one. :twilightblush: But I don't think you've seen this before, if that's what you mean?

I love the characterization in this story, definitely one of the best Fluttershy's that I have read in a while.

Keep up the great work!

559449 There was a story called Once Bitten, Twice Shy, and I thought I'd seen it before, so when this popped up a little alarm bell went off in my head. Then I saw all the comments saying they remembered it, so I assumed it was something I had read on ff.net that had just been put here. I skimmed it and it seemed vaguely familiar, so I just went ahead and guessed it was the same fic.
Guess I was wrong :applejackunsure:

560364 Huh. Weird stuff. Well, I figured someone had to have used it. I like it though, and since it isn't the same i'll keep it. Thanks for explaining. :twilightsmile:

549024 I fuckin love you:rainbowkiss:
all of the homo:pinkiecrazy:

609563 whoa
I sent to wrong person, :rainbowhuh:
but yea, you too :scootangel:

609570 Aw :( Well it's just pity love now. Not real love at all.

And I swear to god if this one winds up going to Relevant Heavy Metal

609637 That'd have been hilarious.

Hmmm.... Kodi? Isn't that the bear from that animated movie where some guy turns into a bear and Kodi is like a son to him? Or wait.... is that Koda?

614462 I'm not sure. I don't remember ever seeing a movie like that, but it honestly wouldn't surprise me. If they came up with it the same way I did, it's just a play on Kodiak Bear. :twilightblush: I'm not good with puns, but they seem to be Shy's bread and butter when naming her animals - at least in Hummingway's case.

Oh - I looked it up and yeah. Apparently Koda is the bear from Brother Bear. I actually need to see that movie. Thanks for the reminder. :twilightsmile:

Well, I finally sat down and read this, and I can tell you straight off that people weren't lying when they said it was good. It feels very self assured, very understanding of Fluttershy's personality, which I envy seeing as I'm so clumsy around these characters. The quality, on the whole, was very high; I'll be adding this to my favourites not simply to track it, but also because it is legitimately one of my favourite stories on the site thus far. Before you ask, yes, that does include even my own stuff. Thumbs, moustaches, monacles, top hats. Take them all. You can even have my accent if you really want it. :pinkiecrazy:

I don't really have much in the way of critique for this piece, firstly because it's very, very good and secondly because I'm awful at critique anyway. However, my favourite things were the juxtaposition of flashback and actual conversation (it doesn't work as well as it might in movies, but it still works) and the satisfying quality of the vagueness given to the plot. There are a couple of places that perhaps show a little bit of unsureness or inexperience, but they're few and far between. Overall, a lovely start.

(Also: if you say I'm lying or criticise my taste, I will bean you upon your little piggy pate, for your hat has been expended in the poisoning of Starfall, and you will have no protection from my wrath. It's good, and has TheVulpineHero1 Stamp Of Awesome[™]. So there.)

621039 You...you're right. I've been hatless all this time and I completely forgot about it. I'm exposed. And i'm ugly! :fluttercry: My fabulousity is ruined! Ruined forever! But at least I have a tophat and a British accent now, so I guess that makes up for it. And thank you kindly for both, as well as the kind words; I appreciate them a great deal, and i'm really pleased you enjoyed the story so far.

I'm glad you like the flashbacks - just one of those random things that popped into my head when I was trying to figure out how to do exposition without actually giving any exposition, but it's one of those rare bits I genuinely like, so I guess I think it works well too. :rainbowlaugh: You're right that it'd work better in a movie though. Maybe one day, when i'm famous, i'll use my suave new accent to convince people to make it one. :rainbowdetermined2: As to plot vagueness, i'm glad it works - I was kind of worried in writing this I was overdoing the flashbacks and vague hints, so it's good to hear that it's satisfying rather than irritating.

Do you mind if I ask which areas you'd say show inexperience or unsureness? I'm not disagreeing - to me it's just all essentially of the same quality, because I wrote it, and i'd like to know where I can stand to improve. Don't feel obligated though. :twilightsmile:

And I won't accuse you of lying - you wouldn't take the time to say it was awesome was it not awesome. And nor will I question your taste aloud. And this may be the best comment i've had so far - it made my day, and I thank you for it.

I will endeavour to keep it worthy of this great honour.

624419 I'm glad you love it that much - I suspect the lack of little faults stems from my crack team of prereaders, and i'm really glad for it too. I'm both surprised and really pleased to hear you think it's so good - i'll try to keep it that way in the future. And portraying the characters was a whole lot of fun, especially Shy - nice to hear I did well. Thanks. :pinkiesmile:

Awesome first chapter! :pinkiehappy: I can already tell this story is going to be awesome! :rainbowdetermined2:

624749 Thanks! I hope you're right. :twilightsmile:

I can't really pinpoint it; I'm not a proofreader by nature, so, y'know. I'm pretty dozy. However, there were just little points where my writer's intuition (if there is such a thing) said, 'Yup, this bit's a little awkward'. I can never justify it, but it sometimes happens. It may be more my own psychosis than any effect of stuff you've written, so I really would not worry about it. :rainbowlaugh:

635771 No worries, then. I'll just hope it goes away as I keep going. :rainbowlaugh: Thanks anyways. :pinkiesmile:

What strikes me about this story is how incredibly brave Fluttershy is, bravery that she gets absolutely no credit from anypony for. We see her run away or cower in fear, and we unfairly focus on those moments, when she actually feels the need to run away and hide at almost all times, and manages to suppress that desire most of the time.

The various snatches of memory from an earlier time are so very, very cruel to the reader, tantalising us with a story we haven't seen yet. They make me want more, Piggy! Bring me more!

Are you going to update this? I really hope so, I want to see what else happens in this story. Its such a good start, and I really want to see what happened to Fluttershy. Please continue.

957698 I am, I promise! It's just taking longer than expected. :twilightsheepish: It will happen though - I love this story too much not to see it through. Sorry. :twilightblush:

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