• Member Since 22nd Jun, 2014
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Rumble


No matter your age, everyone has the potential to be a great writer. You aim high and reach higher. We can all be awesome as long as we never give up.


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Rainbow Dash knows that Scootaloo looks up to her, and has even gone so far as to treat the intrepid little filly like a sister. The two of them are very close — so when she suspects Scootaloo of hiding something from her, she is determined to find out what.


Edited/Proof Read by: Kestrel, Calm Wind, TorontoFCBrony & QuillpenTheStoryteller

Cover Art by: Alasou

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 464 )

Nice! I'll continue to watch this.

This is gonna be cute.

5454654 I take it you like the opening chapter?

i like it and why is they no Soarin tag for this story

5454677 OC instead of Soarin tag? Might want to fix that one, Rumble.

5454716
5454719

done, thanks for pointing that out guys :twilightsmile:

Time to pull up a chair and some popcorn, this is going to be good.

Can't wait for more!!!

5454851 only 23 hours to go :scootangel:

Stop making such good stories, name-stealer XD

Awesome story!!!
Cant wait for more!!!

5455027 thanks! Only have to wait till tomorrow for more :raritywink:

Congrats on the feature dude! :rainbowdetermined2:

5455075 Seriously? No... really?

Looks real good there, sir!
I have a feelin' I'ma enjoy this trip.

5455091 Well, the next installment is tomorrow! I hope you will enjoy it :scootangel:

A good start, I look forward to seeing more.

I did spot a couple of mistakes, though.

“Yep!” Dash replied confidently, turning to the foals as she pulled an orange hoofball out of her satchel as she shouted out, “Who’s ready for a game?” (She’s shouting, may want to add an exclamation point.)

“So” Twilight began, “Heard Cloudsdale lost last night,” she said with a sad smile.

Should be:

“So,” Twilight began. “I heard Cloudsdale lost last night.” She said with a sad smile.

(Well, that's how I would have put it, anyway.)

Also, you're not going to thank me for the few bits of input I gave? :raritycry:

(Only kidding.)

Congrats on the featured!

5455103 Done and done, cheers Geo. And if you really want credit I can add you.

5455118 woah... that was unexpected.

5455130

I said I was kidding. :rainbowkiss:

And congrats on the feature!

This is a wonderful story and I think I'll stick around for the ride until the end. Have a like and a fave for such a well written story.

5455253 why thank you, it means a lot to hear someone say that :twilightsmile:

5455280
No problem at all, I haven't been reading a lot lately but this story is a good start to get back into the swing of things :pinkiehappy:

5455302 you can expect more tomorrow :scootangel:

Certainly an intriguing story; I'll keep reading, certainly. The grammar could use work, so I'd suggest a prereader for the subsequent chapters. One more noticeable issue I saw was this:

coffee, breakfast, shower, getting dressed, coffee again, and out the door.

And here's why:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fCUKDVkNU5w
Other than that, it's good.

5455542 Well I have had both an editor and pre-reader on this fiction already, and I'm glad you like it so far. Funny video too.

5455675 I'm very glad I do :twilightsmile:

5455693 I know, thank you for telling me though

Wow! That was awesome! I can't wait for the next chapter!

5455732 great, glad you enjoyed it!

Seems good so far... Could have done without Dash following Scootaloo as it kinda gives away too much IMHO (whichever way you go with this story), but nevertheless looking forward to more.

5456245 I'm glad you like it so far. You never know until you read more, which I will teasingly piece together for you :rainbowwild:

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