PROTIP: when people remember things, they don't have "flashbacks" unless they suffer from certain (very rare) mental conditions, or they took some kind of psychoactive drug. So when you remember an important detail about something, you don't relive the whole scene of the time when someone told you, you just remember the detail itself.

That said, I'd recommend sectioning off that flashback bit (maybe with horizontal rules) instead of having Trixie "go into it" or whatever. The scene itself is still good, but the way it's joined with the rest of the fic is just silly.

5492822 I'll get right on that

Done

5492837

The object was long, bone white and tapered to a wickedly sharp point, upon closer inspection Trixie saw that it’s tip had a small hole in it, and that the top was hollow.

Just like…..no, that’s crazy. There’s no way.

Trixie shook her head to clear her mind, but the thought remained, and it dredged up a memory. A memory of her father, in one of the few times where he wasn’t either away or arguing with her mother, showing her a replica of a manticore’s fang.

Lose the bit that I put in bold. If you insist on pointing out the stuff about her father, put it into the flashback instead.

Trixie came down from her memory and stared at the hollow tip of the thing, wrinkling her snout as an acrid, chemical stench wafted up from it.

Same idea here. People don't "enter" and "exit" memories like this, especially not while someone is potentially in mortal danger right next to them, not to mention the whole "crashed airship" and whatnot.

5492876 Lemme fix that...

There! Though I think I should have kept the father flashback opening, as I think that it gives just enough insight into her character to be useable.

I might add that back later.

That is one creepy song. I love it!

5493631 Thank you, It's one of my favorite songs to write to

5492961
I kinda have to agree with Dark Avenger a little. While it would be an interesting detail to know about Trixie's father, I think it would be better to show rather than tell. Maybe give us a little example via another flashback? It doesn't seem like the kind of thing someone would think about at a situation like this either, so saving it for later might be best.

Also:
i.imgflip.com/gcevi.jpg

Despite my stated apprehensions about gory mlp fanfics, I am way too curious to stay away.
So I won't complain about any violence, I mean, there are warnings in both the tags and the prologue notes, so complaining about the gore would be like shouting at water for being wet.
Plus, I have faith in your talents.

5499826 Thank you, thank you, thank you so much!!

I'd cheer, but I have a root beer can clenched between my teeth.

Stay tuned for the next chapter....which might come out in a few days. I dunno, I've got some original fiction to tend to. I'm glad that you have faith in my talents, I needed to hear that.