Epilogue - Long Road's Long Road
"You simply musn't." Rarity paced in a slow circle around the fully-armored Long Road. "There are other ways! There are other warriors!"
Long Road stomped a hoof down. "I am the only paladin in this world. Great darkness is rising, and only I can put it down. It would cost the lives of dozens if not hundreds of Equestria's warriors to match. This is a world that only just begun to understand the power of divinity."
Rarity threw herself around his neck, dragging him towards the ground. "You can't! You musn't! The future..."
Long Road pulled from Rarity, then kissed her just beside her horn. "If I do not return, please think of me well. Move on without me, and find another that will treat your heart well. I am a knight. That is what you desired, and that is what you got."
Tears fell from Rarity's eyes in great greasy flows, messing up her makeup as she fell to her belly. "I don't want a knight! I want you!"
Long Road smiled a wistful smile. "You have me... and I am a knight. I pray to the forces of good that I may yet return, but I go knowing I may not. If I do not return in a month's time, move on." He turned for the door. All too soon, he was gone.
Rarity gazed out her window, waiting for him to return. Day after day, she waited. He never did. She felt no urge to seek another, and for a short time, she wore black, but it felt hollow. "Who am I kidding?" she asked the empty room, throwing down her veil. "I didn't deserve him, and now he's gone!"
Sweetie Belle ran in one day holding a newspaper in her magic. Rarity smiled at her. She never let little Sweetie see her cry or be sad. Sweetie gave her the paper. "Look, it's that donkey!"
Rarity felt her heart shatter. The newspaper declared him a hero of Hoofington, but displayed his still body being carried in a procession. The article went into great and bloody detail about the tremendous battle he had led against one of the final disturbances in the land near the city. The creatures within were the worst kind of depraved evil, and some feared the city would have to be abandoned, until he arrived.
He was a hero. He was her knight. He died just like they did in her romantic books, but in her books, the heroine was never left so alone afterwards. They never talked about that part. Rarity sobbed silently into her pillow, and barely moved until Twilight returned home. Rarity put on a brave face.
When Rainbow asked where Long was, Rarity felt her chest tighten into a painful ball. Swallowing back her tears, Rarity made a dismissive wave, "It just didn't work out. He wanted to be useful and couldn't settle into home life, and off he went. A shame, really, but I do hope the darling finds what he's looking for."
She suggested a trip to the spa with her dear friend, where her tears could be lost in steam and mud. She wouldn't be caught crying. She just couldn't...
I felt a lot of things writing this, but it felt like something that had to be written. Rarity was not being an empty jerk.
Did you know the Sequel is on? More typos! The Apple Falls Far from the Tree
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wow I feel like a total ass now for thinking Rarity was just being a cold hatred ***** now I under stand totally.
all I ask from all reader is a moment to remember the fallen hero Long Road.
Harts Fire
5870821 Just imagine how guilty she feels stopping him from going with Twilight. He might still be alive. Of course, countless un-prepared Equestrians would have fought against the infernal forces and died in that case. There's just no happy ending in sight. Rarity cries quietly.
He walked the longest, loneliest road.
just so others wouldnt have to.
ok now I am out right crying.
and yes you are right things code have changed in many ways.
what if.
Harts Fire
5870927 It's how a paladin dreams of going, in a way. He died securing countless others a peaceful life. He won, and peace is restored. Also, you made me cry again. Darn you and my recent easy tear sensitivity.
5871033
Bleh, never been a fan of point buy myself.
There's a lesson to be learned here. He originally quit being a paladin to be a baker, then he quit being a baker to go back to being a paladin, quit being a paladin to be Twilight's knight, dumped Twilight for Rarity, and finally, dumped Rarity to go back to being a paladin. Now he's dead, and he hasn't got much to show for it. His life should serve as a warning to the CMC.
5871118 Rare are the (good) paladins that have much to 'show' for it at the end of their lonely roads.
5871132 I'm not talking about loot. He went out with a bang, but he wasted most of his life in indecision.
5871156 This much is true. His path was a winding one full of doubt. He found something worth marching for in the end, paying back the kind princess that pulled him from his sad existence and choosing to be true to the oaths he once took.
5871176 I'm still mad at him for dropping Twilight, but I guess it's time to bury the hatchet.
5871375 ... Well we buried the rest of him... Too soon?
5871398 Nah, I don't think anyone got too invested in him. Even Rarity took it pretty well; she gave the same wearing-all-black treatment to her embarrassing fashion show. I guess it's true what they say: no one likes the paladin.
To bad! I really liked Long Road.
He was a great character who had depth a good backstory and was likable.
And he was one of the few Donkey's that became a main characters in either Pathfinder or My little Pony Fanfics.
The "fully-armored" Long Road.
It would "cost" the lives of dozens.
Well, this was an unexpected blow, even if it was a necessary one.
This certainly puts a new, and very poignant, spin on Rarity and Long Road's relationship, and while incredibly sad, it's absolutely better for it. Now it's what it should be a - a tale of sacrifice and loss for something selfless, rather than two people casually discarding something they'd previously worked very hard to attain.
Insofar as Rarity goes, this really changes her entire character. She's now carrying around a secret pain, hiding sadness behind her smiles whenever she talks to her friends or family. If we ever see her in the sequel, that's going to be something we can't help but think about every time she appears.
As it stands, I can understand why she'd reflexively shy away from talking about it to anypony - bringing it up again means reliving that pain a second time, which nopony would want to do - but I have to wonder how long this can possibly remain secret. Sweetie Belle saw the article in the newspaper; she really didn't put two and two together? Did she not know that Long Road ("that donkey") and her sister were dating when she read his obituary? Even if the Mane Six have been busy since they got back, how in the heck did word of something as incredible as a single warrior saving an entire city not reach their ears? I'd be amazed if they weren't building a statue to Long Road in Trottingham after this.
Moreover, how did Celestia not bring this to Twilight's attention? Long Road told Celestia flat-out that he was leaving Twilight for Rarity; there's no way she wouldn't know. At the very least, I can't see Celestia not coming to offer Rarity her personal condolences, and she'd likely tell Twilight that her friend needed her very badly right now.
I'm also a little suspicious of why Rarity didn't beg Twilight to find a way to resurrect Long Road - if Twilight can come back from the dead, why can't Rarity ask for her lover to be given the same second chance? That would also bring up some issues between Twilight and Rarity that never seemed like they were totally resolved - if Long Road left Twilight while she was dead, the irony of the current situation would be too obvious not to dredge things up between them.
Insofar as Long Road himself goes, I disagree that his life was "wasted" due to indecision. Being a selfless crusader is a life filled with meaning, but characterized by hardship. Living a simpler life with a loved one is characterized by joy, but lacks the greater meaning that selfless crusading does. Long Road was a character who wanted to do great things, but keenly felt how much it demanded of him. He was always prepared to sacrifice, but he never shrugged off how much those sacrifices cost him. His life was one of trying to find balance between what he felt morally compelled to do, and the happiness he wanted to find for himself. It's a tragedy that he was never able to bridge that gap, and in the end he could only have one of those things...as to whether or not his choosing selflessness over love was the "right" decision is one that's for each individual to decide.
Long Road's long road has come to an end. Let's hope that he's at last found some measure of peace.
5872699 There is another angle to it than just hiding from pain. Drama Queen is a title Rarity bares with little guilt, after all. As far as she can determine, she killed Long Road, and she did it in utter abandonment of her core principle. If she had been more generous, she would have left him alone, or let him go once Twilight appeared again. If she hadn't had that moment of selfish desire, he would have been on an entirely different world, and not a dead martyr. She betrayed Twilight and this was her bloody punishment, and she doesn't want to face it again if she told the others exactly how it all went down. Twilight seems to have moved on past it, good... let the dead rest.
The very idea that she may have found that perfect knight in shining armor, only to be the instrument of his destruction tears at her. Does she deserve to find love? At least she can be a good big sis... Where'd Sweetie Belle go?
5872744 See, that's an interesting angle, one that we didn't see in this epilogue. That's all the more reason to have this come up at some point during the sequel - her single statement of "I didn't deserve him" doesn't communicate everything you just wrote. That deserves to be a plot point somewhere down the line, if and when Rarity comes back into the spotlight.
5872761 I should reiterate, I don't mean that people never say those things, Just that it tends to be less common, and when done consistently and repeatedly in a characters dialogue it starts to sound weird or come across as 'Robotic' for lack of a better term coming to mind. as well it was more the specific circumstances at hand.
also remember You don't have to use contractions when people Are not talking, I just find that in general it's a good idea to use them more often than not while people/ponies are Saying the words.
5872831 You make a good point, But you also have to watch how and when you do it. That particular statement Felt Really odd to read, Maybe there was a better way to phrase it, something like "Twilight raised a hoof, quickly casting a spell to lash out with two Streams of fire" I dunno if That's quite right either but I think the idea I am trying to get across is if you feel the need to say it, And again good point sometimes it does have it's place, incorporate it into the rest of the sentence instead of tacking it on at the end or forcing it in at the beginning.
5872831 I kind of like that the plot rolls like a DnD campaign, I mean it's based on ponyfinder, That's kinda the point and Kinda why I was drawn to it in the first place. Just because the Plot is a DnD Campaign doesn't mean it's bad or uninteresting but from time to time as I mentioned the story doesn't just have a DnD plot it sounds like I'm reading a pre-made campaign out of a book, or sitting at a table across from you while you describe the scenario or dialogue out of said book.
It does Not happen often enough though, To ruin the overall quality of your work, and your story. Just maybe it can be something for you to look out for when you write in the future and/or proofread your work. Now that you realize you're doing it sometimes you can catch it when you do.
Anyways I'm glad that I've been able to help at all, it's really unusual for me to have so much dialogue with a writer and as much as I hope I am helping you I'm learning quite a bit about writing myself from this.
also I am taking a break tonight but I should hopefully be able to get through a couple more chapters in the next few days.
5876033
Too soon to say really. I guess I did wxpect it to be a one on one convo, if that counts.
5885784 I'm working as I go. I have a very hard time re-reading stories and stuff I have already finished. Dunno why, just the way I've always been. but yeah I stumbled across this a while ago(couple months) and added it to my Read later list and have just now gotten to it.
5902660 yeah. Spellcheck is like that.
5902660 Oh I know, maybe it's one of those like ain't. A lot of spell checks and stuff still don't recognize ain't even though it's used often enough that it's in several dictionaries now.
5902685 yeah She is by far one of your better characters, for the most part you write pinkie VERY VERY true to her character. Which is hard. She is one of the characters I see most fic writers struggling with.
5904256 You haven't even reached her final form, er, rather, her best chapter.
5870827 There is just tiny, little problem with this.... Ahem... Everglow can bring the dead back to life!!! Just like with Twilight!!! >.<!!! Bring him to everglow, pay a priest, and bam! Revived!
5933070 Could happen... But hasn't.
5933106 I never did understand that... In games, especially in DnD, there are revive spells, wands, scrolls, potions, abilities. But then when it comes to books, stories, fanfics, or movies about that world... They kinda ignore that little fact >.>
5933141 Twilight was revived. Long and Spike were revived. I don't think I'm guilty of this. Long died in Equestria, where reviving is NOT common knowledge and put to rest peacefully.
5949987 thanks.
5988290
Yeah, guessed as much but I think it isn't 100% clear for everyone who reads it. (Me for example :D )
5988847 It's the comma after the word "Event" in that sentence.
5999211 Fixed.
6023040
Ah, filed off the serial numbers did you?
6023269 Like they weren't even there.
6027792 Celestia has giant wings and can fly/teleport anywhere, but has a chariot pulled by two royal guards, so she sits right in the back of them...
Have to say I will miss Long Road I did like his character, maybe because I am a Paladin but who knows. He died doing what he must like any Paladin, its not an easy road to walk down but someone has to walk it.
6035758 The longest road, as another commentator put it.
6134430
Eh, I guess I'm just annoyed that the whole ghost thing could have been avoided if Whisper had thought to mention 'Oh, hey, your friends can still bring you back if you pass on,' before she made with the Reapy Reapy.
6134884 I can understand that, but that comes back around to what I was saying before - while the term "circle" is more poetic and sounds less technical than "level," does that offer any greater definition of what the difference is between a "first-circle" and "second-circle" spell from an in-character standpoint?
6134945 Spells must have distinct IC differences, or why would they cost a given amount, specifically, every time, based on that level? For that matter, I really don't even see why that's remotely difficult to believe. Oh, this problem is level 2 algebra.
6134992 I'm not suggesting that they don't have in-character differences; I'm complaining that the game, unto itself, gives us absolutely nothing with regards to what those differences are.
You mention that they "cost a given amount." A given amount of what, exactly? What does it "cost" a spellcaster to cast a spell, from an in-game standpoint, and how is that different than the "cost" of a spell of a different level?
I agree that there's something there, but you'd never know it to read the rulebooks.
6135044 Money, to buy, or make a scroll of. That's what I meant.
6135054 That's an exceptionally indirect way of ranking spells (and has its own problems with internal consistency, since the game treats costs as being absolutes, rather than being subject to market fluctuations). Apart from that, the game doesn't give an in-character standpoint much in the way at all of ranking spell "levels."
Now, I do think that it can be done, but virtually all of it has to be extrapolated by individual players and GMs. The books stick strictly to meta-game descriptions where virtually all aspects of magic are concerned.
6137289 The whole "this is like the Hand and Eye of Vecna" idea occurred to me, too.
6138109 If you don't reply in the chapter the comment came from, they will likely never see it.
6138189 Yeah, I realized that after I posted it, but didn't want to delete the comment.