• Member Since 16th May, 2012
  • offline last seen October 3rd

Loyal


Just a dude. Writes horsewords... with varying regularity.


Comments ( 66 )

Lily (from ADKoL) is smiling over the last few paragraphs. ;)

This should be interesting stuff.

/vintage loyal ftw

This is what passes for literature these days on Fimfic? Jesus Christ what is this place coming to.

Just from looking at the title I thought one of my stories had been added to a group, which has been a rare occurrence since I started writing, but all I care about is that my stories are getting read.

welll sir i need moar :pinkiesmile:

*Licks lips* Oh yeah, I like. I wanna see how this turns out.

This fic gets like 10 times better if you read it while imagining Lavender Sky as a giant sentient crayloa crayon. I mean it fits perfectly.

This is beyond pleasing.
The dark atmosphere of Lily's background is lifted by her merry facade, making this a very enjoyable read.

Beginning thrusted me into heavy, thick aura. Then, mare's arrival - something desperate, tragic. Next, as I said, the atmosphere is lifted, but in an interesting way. When I still see her miserable position in the world, sometimes I can't help but smile at her steadfast, pleasant behaviour. That attitude is what, in the first moment, cheers you up only to become the sign of something irreversible, role that took place of her personality.

Overall, the story is a good read and has the possibility of becoming something I would gladly return to many times.

Heh, he named her Lily. I see what you did there, Loyal.:trixieshiftright: :moustache:

Well, this will be an awkward interview...:twilightoops:

She fixed one of them on me,

wat

welp, its been a while since a FIM fan fic has had me interested enough to read it. seems like im going to have to jump back on because this story is going places I want to be.

this story is getting real good, real fast.

cant wait for more!

5439918
The first chapter was converted from first-person. Obviously I missed one >.<

This fic would be so much better if we placed the main character with a crayon.

Shit Shit Shit...
He must be good at bluffing, hes a dirty rotten reporter. Surly he wont have a slip of the tongue that will get him in a world of shit. Oh he is so boned.

oh fuck that end i almost feel like fainting too >_>"".......

5439159 what did he do? i didn't see it....

5448596 Lily is the name of one of the main characters from Loyal's, 'A Different Kind of Love' series. (Which is 100% worth a read, btw)

Well well this is going to be interesting. Like a champion fisherman you've hooked me again Loyal.

A recurring error I've noticed, ending quotations. Rule 1 for ending quotation marks, when you afterwards explain how something was said (Whispered, shouted, said, said smugly, etc) end it with a comma INSIDE the quotations and lowercase the next word. Like so:

"Hello, Silver," he greeted.

Rule 2 for ending quotation marks. When you afterwards go into something else, end with a period INSIDE the quotations and uppercase the next word. Observe:

"Congratulations, you did it." She slowly clapped her hooves together.

Rule 3 for ending quotation marks. ! ? and ... all override the comma/period rule, and names of people/places/things overrides the uppercase/lowercase rule. Watch:

"You idiot!" Silver screamed.

5470286
This has always been an issue I've struggled with, so I thank you for correcting me. I will keep these guidelines in mind moving forward (though I doubt I'm going to go back and edit it now. This story isn't so important to me.)

5470454 No problem. Keep up the good work.:raritywink:

Disaster averted... for now.

after reading them all in one go
i must say, this is what i wanted... this is what i needed... you do know how to write them well

So wait let me get this straight, even though it was basically FMA with ponies, you stopped working on FCW to write this? The fuck were you thinking you manic depressive asshole, you finally started to write something decent what with griffons beating the shit outa ponies and what not and you just abandon it all for this Murder She Wrote garbage? You need to get your priorities in order jesus christ.

5449296 Why you gotta lie to people like that?

“Because I’m going to take you into my bedroom and buck you so hard you won’t be able to walk straight.”

:rainbowkiss: that is true love :heart: to buck someone senseless
can i have more :scootangel:

can't help it, your one of my best authors for this kind of fics... i love them all

Gettin hot in here now! :duck:

* ahem * excuse me... i need to go and take care of something :raritywink: * ahem *

So hot in here. :pinkiegasp:

That end made me feel sick, so much to the point I actually went vomiting as soon as the chapter ended. :pinkiesick:

Really curious how things will go between Lavender and Lily, mostly since there is no "Romance" tag.

So I just found this, looking at the comments, why is there a NMM tag?

I don´t know if you were told already, but first you call the Mistress Moonglow, but then changed to Moonbeam. you might want to correct this.

Besides that there are just some minor typos. You got my interest.

NightmareShredder:pinkiehappy:

I love stories like this.

Update please c:

Another good chapter. His mind starting to betray him

5877026
This may or may not paint the conflict through the next couple of chapters and on into the end of the story.
Lily may be broken...
But is Lavender breaking?

5877062 and that what's keeping me reading your story's the suspension. I want to know what happens next I want to see what lavender will do what the lunar Republic will do. But for now I will have to wait

I got money on Lavender taking full advantage of Lily's obedient slave nature at some point

Q07

5877812
Same. He seems to be heading that direction at the moment. Even though I would rather not see him do such a thing, I think it'll make for good conflict.

Also...

Luna's moon, my balls hurt.

Perfect ending.

You clearly love language. Love your writing style. Will have to withhold judgement on the story till I get more into it but this is a promising start.

Interesting, I'll have to read this whole thing when I have time. You never fail to disappoint, personally, my favorite is moonstone.

5908131
A lot of the BDSM elements will be transposed from Moonstone, but if you're expecting a fluffy romantic playful bedroom romp I have some bad news for you...

5908214
Nah, my taste's a lot harder. I do find moonstone a bit too soft sometimes.

5908215
Nevertheless, this story will take time to get where it's going.

5481283
5481294
Hey! Hey! Psst! I've got a sectret!

fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/291/a/7/no_one_cares_pinkie_pie_by_caperuza-d4d88kw.png

Shut the fuck up or leave. You don't like that he stopped writing something, you fucking write it.

5915045 You obviously haven't been here long have you my sweet summer child.

5915100
5915045
*popcorn*
Dis gon be gud.

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