Chapter 3
On a good day, the Stalliongrad Police Department was a hub of constant activity as the beleaguered Guard struggled to remain abreast of the city’s wide array of criminals and injustice.
Today, however, the Department was particularly hectic, with members of the Guard bustling in and out of the building as they tried to make sense of the chaos around them. Notably, the main source of activity was the array of odd, alien creatures that dotted the interior of the precinct alongside the other, more familiar faces.
Some were speaking urgently or angrily with available officers, others struggled and spat as they were dragged off to cells. Pokemon, griffins, minotaurs and ponies alike argued with one another liberally, nearly coming to blows. Those with wings were flapping them in an attempt to rise above the chaos and make themselves heard, but this only resulted in them getting caught in the clog of the dozen or so others who had the same idea.
The understaffed Guard scrambled to make heads or tails of the situation, attempting to deal with all the issues that were being presented before them. Here and there, some civilians and Pokemon stepped up to volunteer and give what aid they could, though it was but a drop in the bucket in face of the madness.
At the heart of the Department, shut away from the chaos, was the Local Chief’s office.
Chief Peace Keeper was silent as he observed the numerous Pokemon that were currently in his office: The white and black crow that was sitting morosely in his seat, shifting his cuffed wings about, the orange, hawk-like bird who was sitting to his left and giving him a particularly evil eye, the orange-furred puppy that was sitting on the ground next to her and grinning anxiously, the ragdoll-like creature who was on the crow’s right and grumpily chewing the nails in the zipper that acted as his mouth, as well as fidgeting with the cane he was holding, the large, by all accounts obese creature that was sitting in the back corner of the room, blinking blearily as he fought to stave off sleep, and the drab, dark gray pony that was sitting next to him.
Finally, the light gray unicorn sighed wearily as he folded his hooves on his desk. “So... where to start... I suppose that your names would be good.”
The crow puffed the white plumage on his chest out proudly. “Jasper. Jasper Earnshaw.”
The ragdoll scowled slightly as he pushed his hat up with Jasper’s cane. “Call me Carson.”
The large creature’s only response was to tip forwards slightly before jerking upright and let out a massive, jaw-cracking yawn.
Peace Keeper affixed the Snorlax an annoyed look. “Can you please try and stay awake?”
“A-actually...” Growlithe piped up hesitantly. “He really can’t.”
“The kid’s right.” Carson nodded in agreement. “Bartleby’s kind, Snorlaxes? They eat lots and lots of food at a time, then drop into insanely deep food comas. And believe you me, you do not want to be the one responsible for waking them up early. Or hell, even be in their general vicinity! Anyways, Bartleby keeps himself awake and relatively active by constantly chomping down on something. Unless you get him something to eat real fast, all he’s gonna be is a five ton paperweight!”
Peace Keeper swallowed heavily as he eyed the drowsy Snorlax. “Ah... well, I don’t suppose that anyone would happen to have any food on them, would they?”
Surprisingly enough, it was Maud who raised her hoof in response. “I do.” She reached beneath her frock and withdrew a large box from... somewhere.
Carson tilted his head in confusion. “Where the heck-?”
Maud shrugged indifferently. “It’s a family trick. Anyways...” She opened the box, reached in, and held up a lightly colored stone. “Here. Lick it or suck it. It will last longer than if you just bite it.”
Bartleby stirred slightly... before letting out a loud sniff. Then another, and another. Suddenly, his hand snapped out and he all but ripped the stone from Maud’s hoof. Within seconds, he was sitting perfectly upright as he sucked contentedly on the mineral.
Jasper blinked in surprise. “Rock candy?” He inquired.
“From old necklaces that my family made me.” The earth pony clarified. “Their strings snapped due to age and they fell apart. I don’t mind sacrificing them.”
“Right... well...” Peace Keeper hesitated slightly before shaking his head and continuing. “Now that that’s dealt with, Officer Jenny?”
The female Talonflame ended the death-glare she had been pinning Jasper with and refocused on the pony. “Yes, chief?”
“If you would please describe the nature of Mister Earnshaw’s crimes?”
“Right away, chief!” Jenny snapped into a salute with her wing before continuing to glare at Jasper. “This particular scumbag is guilty of assault and battery with his Pokemon, with which he attacked a number of individuals, and arson, wherein he burned down a warehouse, also with one of his Pokemon!”
Peace Keeper frowned in confusion. “What about these Pokemon of his? Shouldn’t they be held responsible for these crimes as well?”
“A-actually, sir...” Growlithe raised his paw nervously. “Back home, we had a saying: there are no bad Pokemon, only bad trainers. A-and while yeah, admittedly, there are some really rough Pokemon out there, it was the general consensus of the law back home that if a Pokemon owned by a Trainer committed a crime, t-then it was the Trainer’s fault for ordering it.”
“Hmm...” The unicorn nodded slowly. “I see... and... how did you come to find Mister Earnshaw as the guilty party for these crimes?”
“Two reasons,” Officer Jenny raised two of her feathers definitively. “First, I found Earnshaw eating in a pizzeria a block away from the warehouse minutes after we got the call that it had burned down. At three in the morning. And second, to back up the first point...” She renewed her glare on the human-turned-krow once anew. “This isn’t the first he’s done this. In fact, Jasper Earnshaw has attacked dozens of people and burned down dozens of buildings. He’s a criminal, plain and simple. Isn’t that right, Carson?” She sneered at the Banette.
Carson scoffed and looked away from her. “Get stuffed, Tepig.”
The Talonflame scowled indignantly. “Why you-!”
“Officer!” Peace Keeper raised his hoof evenly. “I’d like to remind you that you are simply being allowed to help in a probationary manner, and that this department is simply helping deal with this crime from your world as a courtesy. Please. Compose yourself.”
Officer Jenny grumbled darkly under her breath before she nodded solemnly.
“Good. Now then...” He addressed the cuffed bird directly in front of him. “Mister Earnshaw-”
“Please,” The Honchkrow interrupted. “Call me Jasper.”
“Jasper,” Peace Keeper acquiesced. “Would you be so kind as to explain your side of the story to me? Because frankly, the facts don’t appear to be in your favor.”
Jasper glanced at Officer Jenny for a moment before sighing and bowing his head. “I do apologize, Chief Keeper, but you simply must understand: I am, and always will be, a man of business. As such, I am afraid that I must resort to the tried and true method that has aided me in this very same position in the past: requesting legal council.”
Jenny and Growlithe moaned as they slapped their limbs to their faces while Peace Keeper frowned in confusion. “Meaning...?”
“We want a lawyer.” Jasper, Carson and Bartleby chorused flatly.
BANG!
Everyone present (save Maud) jumped in surprise when the office door was slammed open.
Peace Keeper jerked up onto his hindhooves in shock as he leaned against his desk. “What on Equus-!?”
“Uh oh...” Growlithe groaned, covering his head with his paws.
“Are you serious!?” Officer Jenny breathed in disbelief.
“Well, this is quite the pleasant surprise!” Jasper grinned enthusiastically.
“I’ll be a son of a Houndoom!” Carson cackled.
Bartleby let out a rumbling chuckle.
Standing in the doorway of the office was a short creature, close to a foot high. It was covered in dark-purple fur and skin and was grinning a cocky, self-assured grin with a mouth full of spiky, shark-like teeth. Two facts stood out about the creature: First, in place of normal eyes, it had a pair of six-sided, light blue gems implanted in its face. Second, it was wearing a pristine, tailor-made business suit and a red tie, and was toting around a small briefcase in his hand.
The creature swept its arm before itself and dropped into a bow. “Sable! Sableye, sable eye eye!” It proclaimed proudly. Ignoring the horrified look that Officer Jenny wass shooting it, the Pokemon marched past her and up to Peace Keeper’s desk, where it promptly gripped one of the unicorn’s hooves and shook it enthusiastically. “Sableye! Sable, sable sableye! Ableye...” It then snapped its hand down to its briefcase, popped it open, reached in and proffered a small card. “Sableye! Sable sableye!”
Quickly regaining his wits, Peace Keeper grabbed the card out of the creature’s hand and read it aloud. “‘Lyell Litigant, Attorney at Law’? What the-?”
“YOU NEVER PASSED THE BAR, YOU LITTLE DEMON!” Officer Jenny shrieked indignantly.
The Sableye, Lyell, continued to grin as he turned to address the Officer. But before he could respond was enveloped in a swift flash of light, prompting him to wince and cover his crystal-eyes.
“What the deuce!?” He snarled furiously. “Is this form of attack? Flash, eh, eh? This is the last straw, officer!I’ll have your badge for this, see if I don’t! I’ll file charges! I-!”
“Cool your claws, Lyell, it was just a translation spell.” Carson rolled his eyes at the Sableye’s antics. “Now the ponies can actually understand the gibberish that comes outta the hole you call a mouth.”
Lyell blinked as he realized that he was no longer blind before coughing uncomfortably and straightening out his suit. “Ah... yes. Right. Well then...” He then flashed a cocky grin at Officer Jenny. “To respond to your horrendous allegations...” He clicked his briefcase open and proffered a sheet of paper from it. “The internet is- or should I say was?- a most wonderful place!”
The Talonflame glared at the diploma as though it were a particularly repugnant Trubbish, barely keeping herself from lashing out at it with her talons before the Dark-Ghost type put it away.
“Either way!” Lyell turned to address the Unicorn chief. “I am Mister Earnshaw’s legal representative. Admittedly, I have been forced to utilize human representatives in the past due to Pokemon not being allowed to hold legal positions, but I do assure you, my knowledge on legal matters is of extremely high quality! More than enough to defend Mister Earnshaw.”
Peace Keeper stared at the Poke-lawyer contemplatively for a moment before casting a look at Jasper. “Mister Earnshaw, are you sure that this is the path you want to take? Asking for a lawyer...”
“I do in fact realize the connotations of such a request, Chief Peace Keeper,” The Honchkrow made to raise his wing placatingly, but winced as he was reminded of how said limbs were currently restrained. “But you simply must understand, I was and still am a cautious businessman who, like it or not, has been involved in numerous legal proceedings in the past. It has been my experience that in order to achieve the best results in such matters, I and my associates must leave things to trusted professionals. Lyell is a professional who I trust above all else, and thus I will allow him to speak on my behalf. I am sorry if this earns your distrust, but I must err on the side of caution.”
Peace Keeper nodded slowly before eyeing Lyell. “And what of you, Mister Litigant? Are you sure you’re properly accustomed to perform your job here? After all Equestrian laws-”
“-Are actually shockingly similar to those we had back in Sinnoh!” Lyell smirked as he dug a pamphlet out of his pocket with the words ‘Know Your Rights’ on the front. “I’ve learned how to speed-read out of necessity, you see. Quite the interesting read, but as far as I can tell, at their cores, apart from a few minute differences, most of the laws of Equestria mirror those of Sinnoh. As such, I can say with confidence that yes I can legally represent Mister Earnshaw. With your approval of course.”
The unicorn was silent as he thought over the situation. Glancing over at the two foreign officials, he noted the way they were both shaking their heads frantically. Finally he came to a decision.
“Very well then.”
Jenny and Growlithe slapped their wings and paws to their faces respectively.
“Fantastic!” Lyell’s grin widened by several teeth before he turned his head away and brought his hand up to cover his mouth. “Oh, do please excuse my expression. It’s a species-specific condition, all we Sableyes can do is grin and frown, no in between.”
“Right...” Peace Keeper nodded before waving his hoof. “Well then... are you aware of the charges being pressed against your client?”
“Hmph!” Lyell sniffed as his grin immediately inverted into a deep frown. “Indeed I do. Arson, assault, battery, I’ve heard it all before. And I can assure you, the charges are just as fraudulent as they were every time before!”
The unicorn raised his eyebrows in shock. “Fraudulent?”
Jenny’s feathers ruffled as she took a step forwards. “Chief-!”
“I’ll thank you to keep your infernal cakehole shut, Officer Jenny!” Lyell snapped over his shoulder before looking back at Peace Keeper. “Yes, chief, ‘fraudulent’. As the good officer has so obviously told you, yes these charges have been brought up against Mister Earnshaw time and time again, yes, but!” He stuck up a finger definitively. “There are a few facts that she has not informed you of!”
“Really...” Peace Keeper frowned as he regarded the flustered Talonflame. “Is this true, Officer Jenny?”
Jenny flinched as she glanced around nervously. “Ah... well... you see Chief...”
“Yes, Officer Jenny!” Lyell grinned eagerly as he stepped up to her, his eyes flashing eagerly. “See, there’s one little detail about each and every one of those cases that I consider to be extremely pertinent! Something about how they all concluded, something specific...” He snapped his claws as he thought. “What was the word, what was the word... how did each and every last case end?”
“...acquittal?” Growlithe whispered miserably.
“ACQUITTAL!” Lyell bellowed, throwing his hands up in the air. “Yes, that’s the word! Ac! Quit! Tal! In each and every case, Mister Earnshaw was acquitted! Cut loose! Set free as a Flying-Type! And why might I ask?!”
“...lack of evidence...” Jenny grumbled sourly.
“LACK OF EVIDENCE!” Lyell repeated, a derisive sneer obvious in his voice. “A LACK OF EVIDENCE! A complete and utter lack of connection between these crimes and this fine, upstanding, law-abiding citizen! He has done nothing but help and aid the city of Veilstone, and its citizens!” The Sabeleye’s grin widened eagerly. “And I suspect that is the exact goal of whatever person might actually be committing these crimes.”
“Don’t even think about it, Litigant!” Jenny snarled.
“What are you talking about, Mister Litigant?” Peace Keeper leaned forwards attentively.
Lyell grinned wider and wider as he placed his hands on the desk and leaned forwards. “The victims in every. Single. Case that my client has been accused of... were criminals.”
“LITIGANT!” Jenny roared. “DON’T YOU DARE!”
“Officer Jenny, calm yourself or I will have you and Growlithe removed!” Peace Keeper ordered firmly before looking back at Lyell. “Go on.”
“Criminals and their Pokemon, beaten to a pulp and left for the police to apprehend and arrest.” The Darkness Pokemon hissed through his smile. “Warehouses linked back to gangs and the drugs inside them, burned to the ground. Never a single civilian victim. These so-called ‘crimes’ have benefited Veilstone city as a whole. Why, they are not so much ‘crimes’ as they are acts of charity! There was not a person alive who wanted them to stop!”
He slowly turned and leered at the furious Fire-Flying Type. “Except... for her. Officer Jenny here has been doggedly pursuing these cases, and despite the obvious advantage they grant to our fair city, and despite her repeated inability to ever even remotely bind my client to a single case, she has, consistently and without fail, pursued him in an effort to arrest him without good reason! I can’t for the unlife of me explain this obsession of hers, but I can guarantee you this: it is entirely and utterly unfounded!”
“You. Little. Demon.” Officer Jenny growled darkly.
“Officer Jenny-!” Peace Keeper started.
“No, you listen to me, Chief!” Jenny pushed past the still-grinning Lyell and slammed her wings on the table. “These four? They are scum! Complete. And utter. Scum! I have not been pursuing them without reason! Look, if you’ll just listen to me-!”
“I’ve heard enough, Officer Jenny.” Peace Keeper cut her off coldly before regarding Jasper, his horn lighting up as he removed the cuffs from the Honchkrow’s wings. “Mister Earnshaw, you can consider the charges dropped. You and your Pokemon are free to go.”
Jenny’s beak dropped open and her face morphed into an expression of pure horror as Carson let out a victorious laugh, accompanied by Bartleby and Lyell’s respectively rumbling and hissing chuckles. Jasper merely smiled kindly and nodded in acknowledgment as he rubbed his freed wings. “I am much obliged, Chief.”
Peace Keeper nodded in acknowledgment before levelling a flat glare at Officer Jenny. “As for you, Officer. I don’t know how you did things back in Veilstone, but I will not, repeat, not condone an obsessive witch-hunt for a vigilante, especially if-!”
“VIGILANTE!?” Officer Jenny shrieked furiously, snapping her wings up and shaking the unicorn by his shoulders. “JASPER EARNSHAW IS THE CRIME-LORD OF VEILSTONE CITY!”
“Officer Jenny-!” Peace Keeper started as he batted her hooves off, but was interrupted.
“I-it’s true, sir!” Growlithe barked, glancing nervously at Carson before continuing. “H-he’s known as Jasper Earnshaw in higher circles, b-but in the streets, a-and with the p-police, he has another n-name... J-Jasper ‘The Gentleman’ Earnshaw’. Because h-he always acts p-polite whenever he d-does business...”
“And he does all sorts of business.” Jenny breathed darkly. “Earnshaw Shipping smuggled metric tons of narcotics and controlled substances at a time to other regions and countries. Said narcotics, home-grown and cooked I might add, were then sold by criminals under Earnshaw’s employ, both abroad and locally. And that’s not to mention the protection rackets and illegal gambling rings he ran in the city proper, plus all the times he helped criminals escape from the law! Those gangbangers he attacked, he did so because they weren’t playing by his rules and selling things his way! Those warehouses and drugs he burned, he did so to harm rival gangs!”
Officer Jenny snapped a wing back to point at the Honchkrow who had been smiling contentedly throughout her tirade. “I will admit to an obsession, sure. But let’s be clear: my obsession is not with the crimes, it’s with the criminal. I am obsessed with convicting Jasper ‘The Gentleman’ Earnshaw, the kingpin of crime in Veilstone City. And I am obsessed with him because of how he has consistently taunted us, taunted me. I want this bastard behind bars because he keeps rubbing the fact that he always gets away in my face! That is why I am obsessed with him!”
Peace Keeper worked his jaw silently before turning his head to gaze at the Honchkrow with no small amount of horror. “Is... this true?”
Jasper was expressionless for a moment... until he grinned contentedly and tilted his head to the side slightly. “I do believe that my lawyer said it himself, Mister Keeper. I was acquitted of these crimes by a jury of my peers due to a lack of evidence. I do believe that should suffice as proof of my innocence, no?”
The unicorn paled drastically as his mouth hung open. “Son of a diamond dog bitch-!”
“Well!” Jasper chirped as he hopped off his seat, extending his wing and gladly accepting his cane back from his Banette. “I do believe this concludes our business here! Now then, I do believe it’s time we be off. Those in favor? Mister Capo?”
The zipper-mouthed Ghost-Type hopped off his seat and stood at attention by Jasper’s side. “Yes, Mister Earnshaw.”
“Mister Bartholomew?”
The Snorlax grunted as he rose to his feet, adjusting his fedora slightly. “‘Course, Mister Earnshaw.”
“Mister Litigant?”
The Sableye’s smirk widened to face-splitting proportions as he picked up his briefcase and readjusted his tie. “Indeed, Mister Earnshaw.”
“Then it is unanimous!” Jasper brought the curve of his cane up to his plumage and nodded respectfully at Peace Keeper. “Thank you ever so much for your hospitality, but we have decided to take our leave. After all, you did say yourself that we were ‘free to go’, so unless you intend to charge us with anything, we'll be on our way. Good day to you officers, I hope we can meet again under better circumstances. Mister Bartholomew, the door if you please.”
Bartholomew grunted in acknowledgment as he let the door swing open. Earnshaw nodded appreciatively at him as he hopped his way out, Capo following close behind and casting a venomous look over his shoulder as he went. Litigant, however, stopped in the doorway in order to cast a final grin at the two. “By the way, Officer Jenny, just so you know, I fully intend to file a restraining order so that you cannot come within one hundred yards of Mister Earnshaw. Erring on the side of caution, you understand.”
Jenny growled furiously, but before she could respond, she was cut off.
“Actually, Mister Litigant, could you do me a favor and reduce that distance to a mere five yards?” Jasper inquired politely. “After all, it would be such a shame if I were unable to see the good Officer again.”
“Of course, Mister Earnshaw, of course.” Litigant waved his hand in acceptance.
Bartholomew made to move through the door and close it behind him...
“Wait.”
When he was cut off by a flat, droning voice.
“Wh- you’re going with him!?” Peace Keeper sputtered incredulously as Maud started to trot towards the door. “After everything he just admitted to!?”
Maud glanced back at the chief before shrugging indifferently and continuing forwards.
Once she was out, Bartleby stepped through the door and prepared to close it. But before he could, Earnshaw waved his wing a final time. “Farewell, Officer Jenny. I do so look forwards to meeting you again!”
Jenny’s furious shriek was interrupted by Bartholomew slamming the doors shut.
“Well she was pleasant as always...” Litigant muttered through his frown.
“Do you happen to like her?” Maud asked bluntly.
“Wh-with her!?” The Honchkrow squawked before hastily composing himself. “Don’t even try and joke about that. Arceus above, you’ll give me a heart attack...” He muttered cynically to himself as he started to walk out of the precinct, followed closely by the rest of his group.
“To answer your question.” Capo took one of his nails out of his mouth and waved it about. “The reason why Mister Earnshaw so taunts Officer Jenny has absolutely nothing to do with romantic involvement. Suffice to say, he enjoys her reactions. She, she amuses him. Like a Pyroar or a Persian in a cage. Believe me...” The Banette chuckled as he bit down on the nail once anew. “He already had us promise to smack some sense in him or anyone else who got involved with someone like her in a romantic way. Bad for business, that kinda attraction.”
Maud hummed in understanding.
The group was silent as they finally exited the chaotic building and began walking aimlessly down the sidewalk. Finally, after traversing a few snowy blocks, Maud brought her hoof up to Jasper’s shoulder, directing him into a nearby alleyway. The natural Pokemon tensed slightly, but didn’t act due to Jasper’s signalling them to remain still. Bartholomew’s girth filled the majority of the alley entrance, with Capo and Litigant standing in front of him, their stances obviously menacing.
Maud ignored the three of them in favor of staring neutrally at Earnshaw. “Everything that officer said back there. Was that true?”
Earnshaw was silent for a moment before bowing his head slightly and raising the handle of his cane to his plumage. “Indeed it is. My business is... quite unscrupulous.” He raised his eyebrow at the earth pony. “Will that be an issue in any further relations between us?”
Maud was contemplatively silent for a few minutes before responding. “No, it won’t. I don’t like it, but student loans are expensive. Will I be paid if I stay with you?”
“If you so desire.” Earnshaw replied evenly.
“Good.” Maud nodded. “There’s just one condition.” Suddenly, moving faster than any of the onlookers had thought possible of her, Maud slammed Earnshaw against the alley wall, holding her foreleg against his throat.
In response, Bartholomew bared his fangs and rumbled viciously, Capo snapped all three of his nails from his mouth and lit them up in violet energy and Litigant’s eyes started to shine malevolently.
However, all three were instantly silenced and halted by Earnshaw snapping his cane up at them. “Don’t even think of moving!” He ordered firmly, despite his voice being a bit choked. He then regarded Maud inquiringly. “What condition.”
Maud leaned in close, her face cold and hard. “No. Business. In Ponyville. Ever.”
Earnshaw studied her intently before asking “Why.”
“That’s where my sister and her friends live.” Maud replied flatly.
Earnshaw contemplated that statement for a minute or so before nodding. “Very well. I can live with that. No business in Ponyville. Ever.” He gasped in relief when Maud removed her leg from his neck.
Maud didn’t react while the Honchkrow regained his breath. And she didn’t react when Capo wrapped his arm around his neck and jabbed one of his nails against his own neck. “Let’s be clear here, Miss Maud.” The Banette hissed furiously. “If you ever, ever treat Mister Earnshaw like that again, we will each make you go through the worst kind of hell you can possibly imagine. And believe you me, we have practice in that particular area of expertise. Capiche?”
Maud turned her eye to look at the Ghost Type, but otherwise didn’t react.
“Mister Capo.” Earnshaw ordered firmly.
The Banette released his hold on the earth pony’s neck and held his hands up as he backed away slowly. “I’m just making sure Miss Maud understands her position and treats you with proper respect in the future, Mister Earnshaw. I don’t mean any harm by it.”
“Yes, well, do try and do it more politely in the future, Mister Capo. After all...” Earnshaw regarded Maud neutrally. “Miss Maud will be working with us in the foreseeable future. Correct?”
Maud was silent for a moment before nodding slowly. “Yes, Mister Earnshaw.”
Jasper smiled pleasantly and nodded. “Glad to hear it.”
“Ahem...” Litigant cleared his throat as he adjusted one of his gem-eyes. “That’s all well and good, but, Mister Earnshaw, I must ask... what are our plans for the future, sir?”
“We tryin’ to find our way home?” Bartholomew grunted.
The Honchkrow regarded his associates quietly before shaking his head and folding his wings over his cane. “No. Should a means of returning to Sinnoh be discovered, it will be by some intrepid, go-getting do-gooder. I intend to play the long game, under the assumption that we will be remaining here indefinitely. As such, we have two priorities: establishing a power-base with which to restart our business, and of course, locating the rest of our family. With any luck, accomplishing the prior will aid us in locating Misters Beatty and Scourge and Miss Maven, wherever they might be.”
“That’s all well and good, Mister Earnshaw, but ah, there’s one problem with that...” Capo chewed on his nails. “We’re strangers in a strange land, with no reputation, no money, and no power. How are we going to get a base when we don’t have anywhere to stand in the first place?”
“It’s simple, Mister Capo,” Earnshaw let his beak raise into a grin as he raised his cane and pointed upwards. “We utilize natural resources.”
The four tilted their heads back and stared up at where he was pointing.
The nails nearly slid out of Capo’s mouth as he clutched his fedora in shock. “Sweet Darkrai...”
Bartholomew swallowed heavily as he scratched under his hat. “Huh boy...”
“This is... ah... oh Giratina help me...” Litigant fiddled with his tie nervously.
Maud merely cocked an eyebrow.
“Glad you all agree.” Earnshaw chuckled darkly.
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I love that line!
okay, now that i'm finished, i'm scared of what will happen if he appears in Hoofington before what's going on there is stopped
5493914 No worries, he intends to remain in Stalliongrad for the foreseeable future.
amazing chapter as always
...they are going to eventually go to Ponyville...arent they?
keep up the good work
Jasper's quite classy isn't he? Asking for a lawyer. I don't understand how Jenny was able to shake Peace Keeper's conviction with that argument. You can't arrest someone for acting smug.
Natural Resources? Why don't I like the sound of that?
5494704 Well, he did agree to behave in Ponyville, and he doesn't seem like one to go back on his word. Hmm, though technically he only agreed "no business".
5496882 FACEPALM! Right... not my world... sorry... I'll fix it as soon as I can, though to be fair, that blue scuzball's been a pain in my ass every time he's popped up.
Well this has been interesting so far. And I feel like picking a fight with Maud would be a very, very bad idea...
*why? Because Maud is strong?*
Nope... her sister...
Cross you heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in your eye.
Should you make Pink's sister cry, you can kiss your ass goodbye~
derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTMvMDMvMjcvMDZfMDZfMjNfNzQ4XzI4MDYxOV9fVU5PUFRfX3NhZmVfcGlua2llX3BpZV9naWZfcmFwZV9mYWNlX3NlaXp1cmVfd2FybmluZ192aWJyYXRpbmdfYXJ0aXN0X2phbi5naWYiXV0/280619__safe_pinkie%2Bpie_animated_reaction%2Bimage_gif_rape%2Bface_seizure%2Bwarning_vibrating_artist-colon-jan.gif
Different. I like it!
Damn you cliffhangers.
5493953 sir first I would like to say I like both of your stories , I had dreamed of a pirate being raptured but a mafia vigilante this is one of the most interesting takes I have seen of this story.
*pokes you* Update. *poke* Update. *poke* Update. *poke* Update. *poke* Update.
5745010 Yeah yeah, just in a bit of a slump. I'll get back to it, that you can count on, just have patience.
5745140 I'm working on some characters that you could use. The mafia type setting is just about perfect for them.
5745150 Oh hoh? Well then, color me interested. Open a PM. And please, focus more on ponies. I've got the Pokemon side covered.
5745180 ...dang.
5745212 But hey, hey, don't get discouraged! I'll take whatever Pokemon you can toss me. I need other families and whatnot for further down the line anyhow.
5745213 Alright, I just have to wait to hear back from V-Oblivion as he's the one who gave me these characters to create.
Man, I REALLY hope this story continues at some point. It's pretty dang interesting.
Are you going to continue this? I hope you do. But no pressure or anything.
vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/grimadventures/images/2/28/Mandroid.png/revision/latest/thumbnail-down/width/340/height/340?cb=20121009204810
And so another promising "A New Way" stories dies, may it R.I.P
6183888
Don't hold your breath if he can't even finish his first story what make you think this lazy writer will finish this one? Hell he probably won't even write a single word for the next chapter by the time of 2030 comes around
5745140
It's been seven years since you updated your stories. Slumb my ass
10868176
Fuck off.
10868948
Did the truth trigger you child
10869041
You are commenting on an obviously several years dead fic. We all already know it's dead, you didn't reveal anything. You are a retarded ass troll who thinks they did something, but all you did was be a retarded ass troll. You are a bully who will probably get banned if anyone bothers showing this to an admin. And finally, the author probably isn't even active on this site anymore, if they even remember posting anything here at all, because it's been fucking years.
So what now? Do you find some "clever" comeback that doesn't dispute anything I've said? Do you claim my insults towards you somehow make me wrong? Do you fail at some pitiful excuse for presenting an actual argument for why your comment was justified? Or do just prove me right by further revealing how much of a troll tard you are by saying something like "LoL, trIgGeReD!", which I would fully expect from just how fucking stupid your comments have been so far.
I'm definitely not the child in this, and I've dealt with way more effective attempts at trolling and bullying than anything your immature retarded brain can think of.
10869074
You say you are not a child but you sure act like one and what argument do you have you Pathetic sniffling Sycophant
10869219
Oh ok, you went with acting like my insults made my points wrong or irrelevant.
I fucking CALLED IT, bitch.
You wouldn't be getting insulted, if you hadn't been a dick to begin with. You just lucked out and tagged the one person here who would actually call you out on your dipshit behavior. You started this, bitch.
10869074
Then again you are a keyboard warrior you talk tough on the internet but you would cower in fear of someone Actually confront you face to face after all Sniveling Sycophant
Like are cowards after all.
10869233
Omg, and you're some giant who knows seven martial arts and could totally kick my ass in person?
Hah!
So we have reached the point where you have literally nothing that can make me back off. Please continue, bitch.
10869228
Only idiots like you think the truth is hurtful well guess what child Blunt criticism doesn't give too rats of an ass about your fees
10869237
Only bitch here kid would be you and yeah am totally a king fuck master Trained fine is martial arts on the planet ( Sarcasm) If you're too stupid to know the letter part was completely sarcastic Let's be honest I kid like you communicate your way have a wet paper bag you need your parents do your fighting for you
10869228
Well you would know plenty about fuck wouldn't you after all you suck cuck even more then kamala Harris
10869242
What fucking truth? 🤣
You started this shit acting like you made some big revelation about someone not continuing their fic. A fiction that has been labeled "on hiatus" for five damn years! This entire group is all but dead, has been FOR YEARS. What's next, you gonna make a group post about how everyone is a lazy bastard? We go a fucking head, because I genuinely want to see how that works out for you, Shimp.
10869252
And I wanna see how munch dick you could take down your throat ;) given how you are full of shit your can probably take a lot ;)
10869252
All thought I don't think anyone really wants to fuck a whiny kid with daddy issues like you and I can bet you don't have the balls to debate me in person. Come down to Hamilton mall Chattanooga Tennessee tomorrow at the food court around 4:30 and see how munch of a grown up you are ;)
10869259
10 inches
10869266
Likely the only useful skill your mother ever taught you ;)
10869263
Ooooo! So one of two things is happening here, either that's a fake or randomly selected address that i don't give two shits about, or it's your actual address that you were retarded enough to post that I also don't give two shits about.
I'll let you in on something, bitch. You are so fucking insignificant to me that before midnight, I will have completely moved on from all of this, because you are just a small tiny speck of a thing that will never have any real effect on my life. This has been fun, but you are boring me quickly.
10869270
Bye, Shimp.
10869273
Yeah I totally live in the mall ( Sarcasm) and it's funny how spineless you are
10869275
No one simping for you girl your not sexy or hot enough